Crash and Burn
by Swordy Rides Again
Summary: Crash and Burn Arc. As an act of revenge for a job foiled, a kidnapper snatches Dee, plunging Ryo into a nightmare made worse by unwanted media attention. Even if Dee is found, will the ordeal have changed him forever?
1. Just Like the Movies

**Author's note: Second fic in the Crash and Burn Arc. This is edited version. **

**Summary:As**** an act of revenge for a job foiled, a kidnapper snatches Dee, plunging Ryo into a nightmare made worse by unwanted media attention. Even if Dee is found, will the ordeal have changed him forever?**

**Warnings: Bad language, angst and male/male romance**

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 1 – Just Like the Movies

"Dee! We're really going to be late now!" Ryo called from the living room as he gathered up his overcoat and briefcase and frowned at the lack of movement coming from the direction of their bedroom. He was just about to threaten to leave without him when the door flew open and Dee emerged, simultaneously trying to tie his tie and slip his foot into his shoe. Ryo shook his head and smiled, unable to stay angry at his handsome partner, despite the chaos he brought into his ordered existence.

"Let me help," he scolded, reaching up and slapping Dee's hands away from the charcoal coloured tie, which he fastened with expert hands. As Dee bent to tie his shoelace, Ryo picked up the other man's coat and case and waited patiently until he could hand them over. "Right lets go," he said turning to leave after Dee had relieved him of his belongings, "We might just make it to the station before lunch."

"Ha, ha," Dee replied as he closed the front door and hurried after his lover who was now waiting at the end of the hallway. As he reached the elevator, still struggling into his coat, he was greeted by the sight of Ryo frowning at him. "Dee, are you limping again?" the blond man asked in concern.

Dee shrugged as he rummaged in his overcoat pockets for a cigarette. "A bit maybe," he replied vaguely, his eyes fixed firmly on the elevator as the numbers glowed one after another as the car neared their floor.

"Maybe you should go back the physical therapist," Ryo suggested gently as the doors slid open and they stepped in together. "Or start wearing that brace he recommended."

Dee's response was his best 'I don't want to talk about it' look, realised in his hard green stare, which he directed at Ryo before he went back to gazing into space. Knowing that that was Dee's way of ending a maligned topic of conversation, Ryo decided not to push the issue. Shortly before Christmas the previous year, Dee had broken his leg chasing a suspect resulting in metal pins being inserted in the bone to mend the break and several long weeks in plaster. The limb had mended nicely but Dee was still plagued by twinges and aches, few of which he actually admitted to, even to Ryo. Only when it was particularly bad and the ebony haired man was forced to limp did Ryo realise that all was not well with his lover. Ryo sensed that Dee's main concern was that his colleagues at the precinct or even Ryo himself would think that he was no longer capable of doing his job, hence his reluctance to voice any discomfort.

He was still scowling as the elevator reached the ground floor and let them out into the lobby of the apartment complex. He deliberately allowed Ryo to go first so the blond man was unable to watch him walk, wincing at each step as a flash of pain shot up his leg and into his hip. However Ryo was quickly clued into just how bad Dee's pain was when the ebony haired man tossed him his car keys and said, "You can drive."

Ryo thought of saying something as his concern rose once more but he managed to contain his thoughts, not wanting to antagonise Dee when he already looked so irritated. He climbed into the driver's seat of Dee's old sedan glancing across as the other man lowered himself somewhat gingerly into the passenger seat before he fired the engine and pulled out of the parking space. The fact that he was driving worried Ryo immensely. Dee _never_ suggested that he drive without good reason. The two men had very different ideas as to what constituted good driving and after numerous arguments on the subject, they had agreed to disagree. Dee always complained that Ryo drove too slowly and was far too hesitant at junctions, his annoyance culminating in his insistence that he always drove.

Twenty minutes and two cigarettes into their journey, Dee found his discomfort easing slightly as the painkillers he had taken earlier started to kick in. With his lessening pain however came remorse that he had gotten so angry at Ryo for being worried about him.

"I'm sorry," Dee said quietly, "I didn't mean to be so shitty with you."

Ryo smiled as his eyes left the road momentarily to glance across at Dee. "That's okay," he replied, "I guess I shouldn't nag you about stuff."

Dee returned the smile. "Friends?"

"Friends."

With the tension gone from the air, the two men began to discuss the current cases they were working on, deciding what to prioritise when they reached the station. Since the internet stalker case the previous year, the partners had been on much more low-key investigations, although any action, no matter how small, was a relief to Dee, who had been confined to desk duties for almost a month after he had returned to work. Ryo was also pleased when Dee had been returned to normal duties despite his constant worrying that Dee wasn't up to it yet. As the weeks had rolled into months however, Ryo had presumed that life had returned to normal until he had noticed Dee still favouring one leg when he walked but every time he mentioned it Dee abruptly changed the subject.

Spring was most definitely in the air as the two men reached the Twenty-Seventh Precinct on that early April morning. The few trees that hadn't been sacrificed for the construction of the station parking lot were looking full and green after the harsh winter months, providing a splash of colour against the drab brick building of the Precinct. As the two men climbed the steps up to the main doors Ryo was relieved to see Dee was walking normally, his handsome face showing no sign of concealed pain. Suddenly, with the sun high in the sky and his loving partner by his side, Ryo felt more care-free than he could ever remember and he smiled, his expression reflecting his happiness.

"What's with the grin?" Dee questioned, seeing his face and wondering about the sudden change. Although a handsome man, Ryo's face bore a frown of concern far too much of the time for Dee's liking.

"Oh nothing," Ryo replied, holding the door for Dee as they both stepped inside the building. "I just had one of those moments where you realise exactly what you have and why you should take a moment to feel grateful."

Dee cocked his head to one side and quirked a smile at the blond man as they started up the stairs towards their office on the fourth floor. "Uh oh," he grinned, "In the movies that's a sure-fire omen of doom."

"But this isn't the movies," Ryo reminded him as he opened the glass panelled door bearing their names.

They were barely over the threshold before the Chief appeared; his bulging eyes the centrepiece on his purple-tinted face. "McLain, Latener! In my office, now!"

As the door slammed behind the heavy-set man, Dee shot Ryo a knowing look. "Just like the movies," he muttered as he tossed his coat and case onto his chair and headed for the boss's office.

Twenty minutes later, the two men were leaving the boss's inner sanctum, fully briefed on what exactly it was that had the chief so irate. In Ryo's hands were the details of a new case; one they had been told to drop everything else for. It concerned an acquaintance of Commissioner Rose, hence it being given precedence and forcing the Chief to pull two of his detectives away from other investigations; something he rarely did willingly. Dee and Ryo weren't particularly pleased about it either; they were close to making breakthroughs on a couple of their cases and the realisation that they would have to hand them over to other detectives to complete after they had done all the leg work was irritating to say the least. As they returned to their desks, instructed to study the documents given to them in that heated meeting with their superior, Dee looked particularly unhappy as he tossed the files Ryo had handed to him onto his desk and headed straight for the coffee machine.

"That bastard Rose," he spat angrily as he watched the cup fill with steaming brown liquid, "he's just the type to pull rank on us."

Ryo looked anxiously at the door as if he suspected the commissioner to walk in at any time. Even before Rose had made his intentions towards Ryo clear, Dee had seemed to dislike the older man. Secretly Ryo agreed that Berkley Rose was an arrogant, self-righteous individual whose constant come-ons made him feel downright uncomfortable but he knew that their opinions mattered not one iota since he was their ultimate superior and so he tried his hardest to remain civil to the man. Dee on the other hand was less tactful, and Ryo had had to stop his lover on a number of occasions from landing them in a whole heap of trouble by telling Rose exactly what he thought of him, particularly when the commissioner pulled a stunt like this.

"I mean," the ebony haired man continued as he seated himself across from Ryo, his cup of coffee gripped tightly between his fingers, "We've been pulled off important cases because some friend of Rose thinks his family _might_ be kidnapped because of a business deal? What crap!" he spat, watching Ryo's reaction carefully. "I thought we were supposed to be goddamned homicide detectives!"

"I know it might seem strange to be assigned to a case based on pure speculation but I'm sure Rose wouldn't have got involved if there wasn't at least some truth in it," Ryo replied, retrieving his pen and pad to start making notes. Over the rim of his coffee cup, Dee watched his partner; the blond's actions indicating his reluctant acceptance that they had no choice but to take on the case. Sensing any further complaining was futile, Dee set down his cup, lit a cigarette and started wading through the background information that the Chief had thrust at them minutes earlier.

Almost an hour later, Dee snapped the file shut and leaned back heavily in his chair. Only when he linked his fingers and cracked the joints noisily behind his head did Ryo finally look up, his expression disapproving at his partner's unpleasant habit. "So what d'you think?" Dee asked, ignoring Ryo's frown.

Ryo sighed and flipped shut his pad. "I think I can see why this guy is worried. After all, the way he clinched that deal at the eleventh hour put a lot of people's noses out of joint and the incidents he has reported recently certainly point towards a planned kidnapping." Ryo paused and looked up at Dee. "D'you want to go and check it out?"

Dee snorted in response. "Do we have any choice?"

"I guess not," Ryo replied, acknowledging Drake, who had just come into the room, with a nod.

Drake frowned as the two men stood up and started putting on their coats as soon as he had entered. Seeing the other man's confusion, Dee offered him a smirk as he walked past. "It's nothing personal although your aftershave is pretty horrific."

"Ha ha," Drake replied, knowing Dee was joking as usual as he lowered himself into his chair, although as the door shut behind the two departing detectives, he couldn't resist a quick sniff at the front of his shirt to be on the safe side.

As an added indication that his leg was no longer troubling him, Dee drove the two of them out to the suburbs towards the more affluent neighbourhood where Commissioner Rose's acquaintance lived. The house, when they found it, was set back off the street, protected behind an imposing red brick wall and a large pair of wrought iron gates. A meandering gravel drive led up to the three storey house, fashioned in the same brick as the outer wall. As the two men took in the impressive structure, Dee let out a low whistle. "This guy certainly has done well for himself. Trust Rose to be rubbing elbows with the rich and famous."

Ryo either ignored or missed the heavy sarcasm in Dee's voice as he gazed into the heavily fortified premises. "Seems like they've pretty good security already," he mused, almost to himself before he turned to Dee, who was more preoccupied in finding a cigarette.

"What? Huh?" the dark haired man replied as he patted his various pockets until he located his prize. "Oh yeah, great. D'you wanna go speak to them?"

"May as well."

"M'kay," Dee agreed, cigarette clamped between his lips as he resumed his searching, this time for his lighter. "Go and ring the bell."

"No need," Ryo replied catching Dee's attention as he nodded in the direction of the gates. "The welcoming committee's on the way."

Dee turned in the direction of Ryo's gaze to see two burly looking men heading towards them, each vying for control over two equally burly looking German Shepherd dogs. Ryo wound down the window as they approached his side of the car, his smile of greeting not returned by either man as they drew close.

"Good day Sir," the taller man asked, his tone by no means friendly or welcoming, "Can I ask you what your business is?"

Ryo reached in his pocket and retrieved his identity badge which he handed to the first man. "My name is Detective McLain and this is Detective Latener and we're from the Twenty-Seventh Precinct. We've been sent to investigate the claims of a potential kidnapping by Mr Henry Goldsmith and would like to speak to him if possible."

After thoroughly studying Ryo's badge, the taller man instructed his partner to call up to the house. As they waited to find out whether they would gain admittance, Dee successfully located a match and lit his cigarette, drawing on the smoke with extreme contentment as the taller man's dog continued to eye him warily. After a brief conversation into the intercom, the other man returned, delivering the news that they were to let the detectives in. As the gates began to open, Dee started up the engine before the taller man leaned into the car, preventing him from putting the vehicle into gear.

"Sir, this property is a no smoking site so if you'd kindly extinguish your cigarette?" The phrasing was polite but the way the request was delivered indicated that Dee had little choice but to comply. Muttering his displeasure as he stubbed the barely smoked cigarette out into the ashtray, Dee put the car into gear and guided the vehicle onto the property, ignoring the distasteful looks from the security guards as the battered looking motor spewed out a large cloud of foul black smoke as it passed.

As they pulled up at the front entrance of the house, the door was already open revealing a third security guard who watched their approach with suspicion. Parked outside was a large silver Bentley, which Dee eyed appreciatively as they climbed from his old wreck and headed towards the house. After another round of badge displaying and explanation as to who they were and why they were here, the two detectives finally gained admittance to the house, the guard showing them into a lavishly furnished sitting room and curtly instructing them not to move. Shortly afterwards, a man in his mid fifties entered the room followed closely by the same guard whom he excused once the detectives had introduced themselves. Henry Goldsmith Senior positively buzzed with an air of importance enhanced by the several items of chunky gold jewellery he wore about his person. His silver-grey hair was perfectly styled, its colour not dissimilar from the immaculate designer suit he wore and his teeth, when he smiled, bordered on luminous they were so well polished. He was married to Helena Schwartz, a popular and well known film and television actress, completing the image of a prominent media couple.

"Please, have a seat," Goldsmith said gesturing at the sumptuous cream leather couch behind the two detectives as he seated himself across from them in the matching armchair. "Thank you for coming so quickly."

"Don't mention it," Ryo replied, settling into the seat and retrieving his notepad and pen from his pocket. "We've read through the information you've given to Commissioner Rose about the suspicious persons you've seen around your property since this business deal has gone through but we were hoping you'd be able to give us a little more information about the deal itself and the repercussions this has had for you and your family."

Goldsmith signed heavily as he laced his fingers together on his lap, his gold bracelet jangling noisily at the movement. Despite his well maintained complexion he bore traces of several sleepless nights no doubt brought on by the threat against himself and his family as he began to explain how they had been drawn into this nightmare. The deal was the buy out of a successful company that was sought after by a variety of interested parties in the business world. Eventually there was only one main contender; the notorious Italian-American De Luca family. One by one the other buyers supposedly lost interest in the deal although rumours were abound through corporate America that the De Luca family had scared off the other buyers. At the last minute when the deal was all-but completed, the Goldsmith Corporation stepped in and placed an almost unmatchable offer, which the vendors were set to accept. Understandably, the De Luca family were angry that their deal had been snipered at the last moment but Goldsmith had somewhat naively underestimated their reaction; the De Luca family had been wronged and they believed in vengeance, plain and simple.

Since then, the Goldsmith family had been plagued by a series of strange occurrences at their home, presumably designed to scare them into backing away from the deal, which had culminated in the employment of the security guards that patrolled the premises twenty four hours a day. Even with the protective manpower, Goldsmith had still felt threatened enough to go to his friend Berkley Rose and request his assistance in the matter. Once they had all they needed, Ryo and Dee thanked the anxious looking millionaire for his time and left, promising that they would be keeping a watch over the house. The older man smiled, feeling reassured that the police were taking the threats seriously.

"I feel much better knowing you'll be keeping us under surveillance but I'm sure you've two very attractive wives that won't appreciate me keeping you both away from them."

Ryo flushed ever so slightly as Dee offered the older man a broad grin. "Well the job has to come first," he replied, glancing at Ryo who appeared to have found something very interesting to stare at through the window.

Back in the car Dee was still grinning. He always found comments like that highly amusing and would normally set the other person straight with a certain amount of delight but he had learnt to curb that tendency in front of Ryo, who still got embarrassed at the reactions to them being a couple. Dee loved Ryo far too much to risk hurting him for the sake of the small but satisfying feeling he got from the look on someone's face when he announced he had a male bed partner.

"Thanks for not saying anything then," Ryo said suddenly as he pulled the passenger door shut, the colour still high on his cheeks.

"No problem," Dee replied, losing the inane grin. "D'you want to go back to the station and do the report or should we just head home?"

"Station," Ryo answered firmly, never one to take liberties with his job. "Besides, we need to draw up a rota for surveillance duties."

Dee nodded, putting the car into gear and pulling away from the house. "Fine, so long as I get first shout on who I'm partnered with," he said with a wide grin.

Ryo looked at the dark haired man askance and offered him a wry smile. "Oh and who would you be choosing to spend those lonely hours with? JJ?"

Dee snorted in laughter. "Is the Pope a Satanist?"

"No."

"Then don't ask stupid questions."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After filing their report on the information they had gained from Henry Goldsmith Senior and organising the rota of who would watch the house and when, the two detectives battled the cross town traffic to make their way home. Although they both loved life in the city, they each loathed the rush hour when the more desperate people were to get home, the longer it took. Bicky was already ensconced in one of the armchairs when the two men entered the apartment. Glancing up briefly from his videogame, the blue-eyed boy of African descent gave Ryo a quick wave before flipping the finger at Dee. As usual, the moment Ryo's back was turned, Dee offered the boy a similar greeting continuing the 'I don't like you and you don't like me' roles that they had played ever since they had first met. In truth, it was quite the contrary. Mentally, Ryo had come to realise, his lover and his adopted charge weren't all that far apart and although they still had their spats, it was clear that they liked each other much more than they let on. After living with Ryo and Bicky since the start of that year Dee had found that Bicky wasn't nearly as much of a handful as he'd first imagined and, for his part, Bicky had developed a sort of grudging respect for the man who indulged him in his passions for basketball and videogames.

As Ryo went into the kitchen to start dinner, he smiled as Bicky handed Dee the second controller and the two began to play harmoniously together, irrespective of the fact that the object of the game was to smash each other's faces in. After a couple of minutes, Ryo heard movement and Dee appeared at the door looking slightly guilty.

"Sorry Ryo," he apologised as he came to stand in front of his slightly shorter lover, "I shouldn't leave it up to you to make the dinner."

Ryo smiled, appreciating the offer of help but well aware that Dee was little use in the kitchen. "Don't apologise," he said, putting his arms around the other man, "But if you want to help you can go and get Bicky to do his homework."

"Anything for you," Dee breathed before he drew Ryo in for a slow, lingering kiss, broken only when Bicky's voice floated in from the living room. "I know you're kissing in there," he complained, amazing Dee yet again with his almost telepathic ability to spoil things when he and Ryo were getting intimate. "More cooking and less fuc…"

"Bicky!" the two men roared almost simultaneously before he could complete the sentence. The blond boy looked up from his game to see his 'parents' sporting matching glares as they eyeballed him dangerously from the kitchen.

"What?" he asked, oblivious to the fact that Ryo looked as if he'd just been immersed in a very hot bath and Dee was having to hold him upright to prevent him from keeling over.

"Jeez Bicky, you certainly have a way with words," Dee replied, sweeping a hand across his hair as Ryo went back into the kitchen shaking his head in disbelief.

Later on that evening, the two men lay in bed together, sated after a long and passionate session of lovemaking. Sat up against the headboard, Dee lazily smoked a cigarette as Ryo lay sleepily across his chest, basking contently in his lover's warmth. Gazing down at the handsome man before him, Dee said a silent prayer of thanks to God for bringing Ryo into his life. He had waited over two years to achieve the level of happiness he experienced with Ryo and because of his prolonged pursuit he was determined to never take his new life for granted. The other man stirred slightly as Dee stroked his honey blond hair and Dee smiled, glad that Ryo was so relaxed when they were together. Just before Christmas the previous year Ryo had promised to try and overcome his hang-ups about being in love with another man and although he still got a little embarrassed when dealing with the reactions from other people, he was now totally at ease with the intimate side of their relationship.

"Mmmmm, this is so nice," Ryo murmured into Dee's chest, as if he had read the other man's thoughts and agreed wholeheartedly.

Dee smiled as he stubbed out his cigarette and ran his now free hand up and down Ryo's bare back. "Yeah, so we better make the most of it."

Ryo frowned in response and pulled himself into a sitting position so he could see Dee better. "What d'you mean?"

"Because from tomorrow night we'll be sat in my car eating doughnuts and drinking coffee and generally doing what cops do when they're on surveillance."

Realising that a mere twenty four hours from now they would be spending the evening in far less enjoyable circumstances than this, Ryo flopped back down onto Dee's chest and sighed wistfully. "Would you disagree if I said life should stay like this forever?"

"Not likely," Dee replied, giving the other man's buttock a playful squeeze. "Wouldn't bother me at all."

"That's good," Ryo said, sounding sleepy again. "I'll make sure I wish extra hard."

"You do that," Dee replied as he turned off the bedside lamp and settled down to sleep with Ryo still wrapped tightly in his embrace.

Despite Ryo's wishing, the following day did come, its arrival heralded by the shrill ringing of the alarm clock. Never a morning person, Dee groped around on the bedside table for the offending device, eventually locating it and slamming down on the button that would stop the noise, at least for the next nine minutes. He had no intention of getting up straight away but Ryo, having realised the time, was already stretching in preparation to leave their bed.

"Aww, stay here," Dee complained, patting the space that Ryo had just occupied, his eyes still closed as he clung desperately to sleep.

"I can't," Ryo replied, pulling a robe on over his pyjama bottoms, "I need to make sure Bicky's got his stuff together since he's staying with Cal and her aunt tonight."

"Oh yeah, surveillance duty," Dee muttered into the pillow as he recalled exactly why Bicky was going to stay somewhere else that evening.

"Exactly, so maybe you should get up too," Ryo replied and before Dee could argue for him to come back to bed and enjoy a repeat of last night the blond man had left the room.

"Spoilsport," Dee called after him, reluctant to get up and start what would undoubtedly be a very long day.

TBC…


	2. Fifteen Minutes of Fame

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 2 – Fifteen Minutes of Fame

At the station, the first task of the day was to brief all the officers involved in the surveillance exercise on what they were looking out for. Goldsmith had been able to provide them with vague descriptions of the men he had seen loitering around his house on several occasions and so these were relayed to the men and women involved in the hope that any of the suspects foolish enough to return would be apprehended immediately. Very few cops actually liked going on surveillance and so in compromise for enlisting the services of the other officers, Ryo and Dee had agreed to take the late shift, which neither man was particularly looking forward to.

The day dragged on as the two detectives worked at the station, periodically fielding calls from the current surveillance team who had very little of interest to report. As the detectives heading the investigation, there was little they could do other than research into the activities of the notorious De Luca family. Dee was becoming increasingly belligerent as Commissioner Rose continued to query exactly what they were doing for their part in the investigation and so Ryo was extremely relieved when nine pm rolled around and they left the station to take over the watch at the Goldsmith's mansion.

"You know," Dee said sometime later when idle conversation was about the only thing keeping them awake as they sat in the car watching the minutes ticking slowly by, "There are people out there in their seventies and eighties who still smoke and have never got lung cancer and then you get a twenty year old, fit as a fiddle, who gets hit by a bus and killed. Life's one big gamble anyway Ryo."

The blond man frowned as Dee lit yet another cigarette, drew on it with a great amount of satisfaction and blew the smoke out of the window he had opened just a crack to stop the car being filled with the acrid fumes. "Let's change the subject," Ryo muttered, hating the way Dee was so resistant to stopping this unhealthy vice whenever he mentioned it.

"No problem," Dee agreed. "My subject."

"Fine."

"Okay… who was the first person you ever fantasised about?"

"What?!" Even in the darkness, Dee could tell Ryo was blushing.

"Yeah, you know. Who was the first person you ever had a crush on?"

Seeing his lover was waiting expectantly for an answer, Ryo sighed deeply in resignation. "His name was Ken and he was the star athlete at my high school."

"Really?" Dee replied, clearly interested as he turned in his seat to get a better look at his partner. "What did he look like?"

Ryo looked thoughtful for a moment as he recalled the face that he had fawned over for several years when he had first begun to question his sexuality. "It sounds clichéd but he _was_ tall dark and handsome. Deep blue-green eyes and shaggy brown hair..."

"… and totally straight, yeah?"

"Actually no," Ryo replied with a smile, "Totally out of the blue he outted himself at graduation and as far as I know he's still living with the same guy that he got together with at high school."

"Wow," Dee said, clearly impressed. "So you could have been in with a chance after all."

"But then I might not have met you," Ryo reminded him.

"Good point."

There was a pause where each man fell into quiet reflection until Ryo said finally. "Okay, your turn. Who was _your_ first crush?"

Dee opened his mouth to speak but stopped as something caught his attention and his eyes narrowed in response as he tried to see it better. "Ryo," he said quietly, his stare never wavering, "can you see something out there?"

"Oh no," Ryo replied, assuming Dee was joking, "you can't get out of it that easily…"

"I'm serious!" Dee muttered through gritted teeth as he nodded in the direction of the movement.

Only ever needing telling once, Ryo straightened up in his seat and followed Dee's stare to where he too could see movement just beyond the open gate. "Security guards?" he asked doubtfully.

"Shouldn't be," Dee replied as he stubbed out his cigarette and checked the weapon in his shoulder holster. "The grounds are monitored from within the house at night."

Ryo nodded, having checked those particular details himself earlier that day. "Let's go and check it out then." For the first time since Dee had mentioned seeing something Ryo glanced across at his partner, a grim expression creasing his handsome features. This was the part of police work that left him with a total feeling of ambivalence; he couldn't deny that chasing down bad guys was exhilarating but the awareness that either he or the man he loved with all his heart might not make it out alive was almost unbearable. Sensing his partner's reluctance, Dee reached across and took Ryo's hand. "Come on," he said, "This is what we're good at right?"

Ryo smiled and nodded as he reached for the door handle, his gun already drawn. "Yeah, let's go so we can get back and you can tell me all about that first crush."

Dee laughed as he also drew his weapon but his merriment soon faded as they prepared to face the unknown yet again. They managed to open the car doors without alerting the suspicious shadows crouched further up the perimeter wall but the floor surface they stepped out onto was not conducive to stealth and the intruders quickly realised that their presence had been detected.

"Police, freeze!" Ryo yelled as the shadows, of which they counted two, set off running towards the street with the two detectives in hot pursuit. The chase took them away from the affluent street Henry Goldsmith lived on towards the more seedy part of town, where the suspects no doubt hoped to lose their pursuers in the maze of alleyways and poorly-lit streets. As they rounded another corner Dee was leading slightly, his tall athletic figure helping to shorten the distance between him and the fleeing suspects. They had long since given up commanding the men to stop; they were obviously guilty of something and had no intentions of being caught despite the knowledge that the two men chasing them had guns. They were still in sight as the chase took them into the yard behind a row of boarded up shops. As they were starting to tire slightly, the two detectives were relieved to see that the yard appeared to be a dead end but their relief was short-lived as the suspects used a rusting dumpster to scale the wall and disappear over the other side. Taking their lead, Dee did the same, quickly followed by Ryo; the two men bracing themselves for the landing as they dropped down into the alleyway beyond. They landed almost simultaneously but as Ryo straightened up to begin the pursuit anew, Dee crumpled to the ground, clutching his right leg, clearly in a lot of pain.

"Ahhh, shit!" he cried, holding the damaged appendage, his gun lying forgotten at his side.

"What's wrong?" Ryo asked, instantly down on the floor beside his fallen lover.

"Never mind," Dee urged through gritted teeth, "Don't let them get away."

Knowing he had to make a split-second decision, Ryo set off running, calling back to reassure Dee that he would return as soon as possible. It was several long moments before the pain eased enough for Dee to haul himself into a sitting position and when he did, the movement was accompanied by much unrestrained profanity since his lover wasn't around to hear it. Staring distastefully at the mud now coating his long black overcoat and trousers, he re-holstered his gun and debated what he should do. An attempt at standing up was quickly abandoned when the white-hot pain returned and Dee braced himself against the wall he had just jumped off as he waited for the stars that danced before his eyes to disappear. Knowing there was little he could do while he was unable to walk he contented himself with a cigarette, while silently praying that Ryo was okay. The minutes ticked by with agonising slowness until Dee was greeted by the blue flashing lights of an ambulance that edged its way up the alleyway towards him. An emergency worker jumped out as Dee stubbed out his cigarette and shielded his eyes against the glare of the headlights. "Detective Latener?" he asked as he came to kneel beside the injured man.

"That's me," Dee replied, somewhat embarrassed by his predicament as the paramedic set his bag down in preparation to treat him, but relieved at the same time that Ryo must be safe if he'd managed to send help. "I've done something to my leg."

"Your partner said you broke it last year?" the man queried as he began to palpate the limb.

"Yeah," Dee replied, then hissed as the man hit a tender spot. "I guess jumping off that wall wasn't the greatest way to help it heal."

The man offered Dee a wry smile as he took in the height of the wall behind the fallen detective. "Not really," he laughed as he concluded his examination. "Well it doesn't feel broken but we better get it x-rayed to be on the safe side. I'll just go and get a splint so we can get you to hospital," he said, standing and heading back towards the ambulance. He returned promptly and fitted the brace, held in place with wide strips of Velcro, before helping Dee to stand. "I'll give you a couple of painkillers to take when we get you in the van," the paramedic said, seeing Dee's pinched expression as they inched their way towards the back of the stationary vehicle.

Two hours later in the emergency room of the All Saints Hospital, Ryo stood as the double doors opened and Dee emerged, on crutches, wearing a full length leg brace and a large scowl across his handsome features. His green eyes flashed with annoyance, which Ryo correctly attributed to him receiving a severe dressing down for not taking better care of himself from the doctor that had set and pinned his broken leg only several months previously. "Well?" Ryo asked, anxious to know what the damage was.

"It's not broken," Dee replied flatly. "But I need to keep it strapped up for a few weeks."

Ryo sighed in relief as they started down the corridor towards the exit. Now he could stop worrying about Dee he was hit by the realisation that he really needed to get some rest. Dee caught him stifling a yawn and smiled. "You could have gone home you know. I'd have got a taxi back."

Ryo looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. He's no sooner have let Dee make his own way home from the hospital than he'd have gone to work naked. Sensing this, Dee smiled. "So now we've determined I'm gonna survive, you wanna tell me what happened?"

Ryo held the door as Dee hobbled out towards the parking lot. "There's not much to tell really. I caught up with them because one of them had got his leg caught in some barbed wire. I arrested him but the other one got away."

"Still, one out of two's not bad," Dee said, knowing Ryo would be giving himself a hard time for not apprehending both suspects when he had chance. There was a moment of silence where Dee could tell something was troubling his blond lover as they reached the car.

"I'm sorry I had to leave you," Ryo said suddenly, confirming Dee's suspicions as to the reason for his worried expression. "I didn't know what to do."

Dee paused, his hand on the open car door as he gazed across the roof to where Ryo stood, fiddling anxiously with the car keys. "You did exactly what you had to do," he said firmly, "You'd have felt even worse if you'd let them get away because I'd sprained a few muscles."

Seemingly eased by Dee's words, Ryo smiled gratefully at his handsome lover before he climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine.

The following day, the two men headed into work to re-interview their suspect. Ryo had questioned him briefly following his arrest but had decided to leave the full interview until Dee could participate too.  The ebony haired man sat quiet in the passenger seat as Ryo drove, still grumbling at his lover's insistence that he bring his crutches into work. To Dee, the metal sticks were a sign of vulnerability that he could do without but he had been forced to concede that, in order to move around comfortably, he would have to rely on them for the next few days at least. He was also wearing the brace that the physiotherapist had provided after the original break but had never made use of, which fortunately fitted under his ordinary work trousers, giving the weakened limb a little strength and support.

As they arrived at the precinct, they pulled into the parking lot to find a large group of journalists and television reporters milling around the main entrance, clutching their tools of the trade waiting for that all important scoop. Ryo glanced across at Dee and frowned, unable to think what current cases would cause such media interest unless…

"You don't think they know about the Goldsmith case?" he asked suddenly, certain that it would be deemed in the public interest if the information was to have been leaked out.

His question was answered but not by Dee as one of the reporters turned, pointed and said something to his assembled colleagues before they all converged on the car. "Quick," Dee said, grabbing his crutches and flinging open the door. "If we stay here we'll never get away from them." As they headed towards the steps at the front of the building, the cacophony of questions began, confirming the detectives' suspicions that the Goldsmith case was about to become big news.

"Detective McLain! Can you confirm Henry Goldsmith Senior and his family were the targets of a kidnapping plot recently?"

"Will you give us an interview, please detective!"

"Is it true you have one of the suspects in custody?"

"Detective McLain, Channel Ten news, can you tell us how you caught the intruder single handed? Were you in fear of your life?"

As they battled their way through the melee, it became clear that the reporters were only interested in Ryo who, according to their sources, had been the one to apprehend the suspect. Like a pack of vultures they had quickly encircled their prey, almost knocking Dee over as he balanced on his crutches watching their actions in disbelief. It was as if he was invisible; evidently he wasn't worth talking to since he hadn't done anything heroic. Shaking his head and muttering several curses under his breath, he changed direction and headed towards the side entrance, not willing to risk being knocked over by the frenetic individuals in pursuit of a front page headline. He punched the code into the door and had just reached the foyer when Ryo came in through the main doors, finally managing to lock the madness outside. He looked flustered and red-faced as he swept a hand through his blond hair before his eyes lit on Dee and his expression changed to one of relief.

"Well, did you give them the whole heroic story?" Dee said, slightly caustically as he hobbled towards the stairs.

"No actually," Ryo replied, sensing Dee's anger. "I told them they were very rude for blocking my injured partner's way into work."

Dee smiled slightly, his annoyance diminishing somewhat knowing Ryo would have done so with a certain amount of indignation. "I wonder how they found out?" he mused as they climbed the stairs to their office, Ryo carrying both their briefcases as he followed in Dee's wake.

They entered the office to find Drake and some of the other detectives hunched over the small portable television set balanced on a stack of files in the corner of the room. When they heard the door open, the group of men spun around, their faces lighting up when they realised who it was. "Just in time!" Drake laughed as he cradled his coffee cup between his fingers. "Ryo, you're just about to make your television debut!"

Ryo and Dee exchanged puzzled glances as they hurried into the room, the sea of men parting to allow them a better view of the television. The news reader on the screen finished the last article and paused before she started on the next segment. "And coming up after the break, Henry Goldsmith Senior gives his first exclusive interview after the revelation that his family were subjects of a kidnapping plot, foiled single-handedly by this man." A picture then flashed up on screen of Ryo, causing the assembled men to cheer and jest that they could have picked a more flattering shot as the channel went to the ad break. Ryo looked horrified as Dee's expression remained unreadable.

"Hey Latener," Detective Stanford said with a laugh, "How does it feel to have a hero for a boyfriend?"

"Yeah," one of the other men chipped in. "Good job McLain was around or Peg Leg here would have let them get away!"

"Easy now guys," Drake said, sensing Dee's volatility as he threw down the crutches and sat down heavily in his seat. The two men had been good friends for a long time and Drake knew when Dee was not for joking around; this being one of those times. Before anyone could say anything further, the door opened again, this time admitting Commissioner Rose who came and sat on the desk, partially obscuring Dee's view of the screen. "Sir," Ryo said as he caught the man's attention. "What's going on? Why has Henry Goldsmith gone public?"

Looking not the least bit fazed by his colleague's concern, the Commissioner shrugged his shoulders and offered Ryo a reassuring smile. "He thought by bringing it to public attention he might stop the De Lucas from trying anything else until the deal has gone through."

"So he's _using _it to his advantage?"

Rose nodded. "I'm sorry Ryo, I don't like it any more than you," he said not sounding like he meant it at all. "I advised him against it but he thought it was the best thing to do. You'll just have to get used to a few days of public glory and adoration." He offered the blond man a sickly smile as the ad break ended and Ryo's image flashed up again on the screen. "Nice picture. You look… very handsome."

Ryo inwardly cringed as he turned to Dee for support only to find the other man scratching angrily at a spot on his desk, glaring at the piece of furniture as if he was trying to make it explode by the sheer force of his will alone. The interview with Henry Goldsmith lasted approximately five minutes, in which time he heaped praise on the actions of the brave Detective McLain, never once mentioning the partner who had also been prepared to put his life on the line in the name of duty and protection of the innocent. After it had finished, they flicked channels and found that the story dominated most of the programmes there too. Eventually the television was switched off and the other men returned to their duties leaving Dee and Ryo alone in the office in uncomfortable silence. Dee had chain-smoked his way through half a packet of cigarettes before Ryo finally broke the deadlock. "I didn't ask for any of this," he said quietly, his dark eyes both pleading for Dee's acceptance and yet defiant that he himself had done nothing wrong.

"I know," Dee replied, still unable to grace Ryo with any eye contact. "I just hate being made to feel so useless."

Ryo reached across the desk and took up Dee's hand before he could pull another cigarette out of the packet. "You're _not_ useless. You just got hurt."

"But how can I be a cop if I'm in danger of this happening every time we have to try and apprehend someone?" he asked, finally looking straight into Ryo's face as if he expected to find the answers there.

"You were just unlucky; you obviously haven't healed fully yet," Ryo said, trying to offer as much reassurance as he could to his troubled lover. "If this had happened maybe three weeks later, your leg might have been able to handle it, who knows?"

"And maybe it would have still happened even if the situation had occurred six months later," Dee replied, clearly not consoled as he stood and took up the wretched crutches, glaring at them hatefully. "I need some air," he muttered, and then he was gone, leaving Ryo staring at his retreating form in dismay.

TBC…


	3. A Pyrrhic Victory

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 3 – A Pyrrhic Victory

The uneasiness between them continued for the next few days as the Goldsmith kidnapping story continued to be of major interest to the general public. The precinct was flooded with calls from various television networks who wanted Ryo to appear with Henry Goldsmith so the millionaire could publicly thank the man who had supposedly saved his family; a sure-fire ratings winner they knew. As well as the phone calls came the letters; hundreds of them ranging from those wanting to say 'well done' to those of a more intimate nature, written no doubt after seeing Ryo's handsome face on every television show and newspaper. Ryo was deeply embarrassed by the whole thing but felt obliged to read these missives, knowing people had taken the trouble to write to him although he usually did it when Dee was out the office to prevent it looking like he was rubbing the other man's nose in it. Dee was now managing without his crutches although he had grudgingly decided to keep using the brace in the hope that the extra support would speed up the healing process.

On the third day as Dee left the office to use the photocopier on the other side of the building, Ryo reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a handful of the latest letters he had received that morning. The first one was from an elderly lady who thanked Ryo for 'making New York city a safer place to be'; the second was highly suggestive and ended with a telephone number which the lady writer begged Ryo to ring if he wanted some 'good and tender loving', causing the recipient to blush profusely. The third letter was in a plain brown envelope and, unusually, was not hand written like the others. Frowning slightly, Ryo began to read.

_Dear Detective,_

_Thanks for fucking up our plans. Now we won't get paid. I read your comments that we obviously 'weren't particularly skilled' and now I feel the need to show you you're wrong; kidnapping is easy as I'm sure you'll find out._

_Watch your back Detective. You may live to regret those words._

The letter wasn't signed off, not that Ryo expected it to be and he was still frowning over it when Dee returned, having forgot his pass for the copier. "Reading more from your adoring fans?" Dee snapped as he eyed the letter in Ryo's hands.

"What?" Ryo replied, haven't not seen Dee come back in. "Oh Dee, what d'you make of this?"

Dee paused for a moment, unsure he wanted to read some sappy letter from another lovesick fan, but the expression on Ryo's face told him there was more to it than mere sycophantic rambling. Taking the typewritten piece of paper from Ryo's hands he read over it several times, his own expression darkening at the words.

"D'you think it's a joke?" Ryo asked hopefully, watching Dee carefully for his reaction.

"Possibly," the other man replied, "But I don't think you should be taking any chances, just in case." As he finished the sentence, Commissioner Rose entered, immediately noting his detectives' serious expressions. "Is there a problem?" he asked automatically coming to stand near Ryo as he studied the handsome blond appreciatively.

"Read this, see what you think," Dee said, thrusting the letter at Rose, forcing the older man to stop staring at Ryo.

"Hmmmm…" Rose said as his eyes danced across the page. "When did this arrive?"

"This morning with the rest of the post," Ryo replied looking straight at Dee for support.

"Envelope?"

"Here," Ryo said, wrapping his handkerchief around it and handing it to Rose.

Rose nodded, surveying the plain inoffensive looking paper. "Get it tested for prints and DNA on the glue strip. It was stuck down wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Okay, but in the meantime Ryo, I don't want you going anywhere on your own. Consider taking a panic button home too."

"Yes Sir," Ryo replied, aware that the Commissioner obviously thought the threat was real enough. After the older man had gone, Dee came around the desk and perched in front of Ryo, taking the blond's face in his strong masculine hands. "It's probably nothing," he said soothingly, as he studied Ryo's anxious expression, "Besides, like you said, they weren't particularly professional."

"I didn't even say that!" Ryo cried suddenly, his patience for the media madness surrounding the case finally shattering. "Everything they said was bullshit!"

Dee smiled slightly, thinking how rarely Ryo got so mad that he swore. "It doesn't matter baby," he said, stroking a lock of hair away from Ryo's eyes. "There's no way I'd let anyone get you." Ryo managed a thin smile, grateful to have Dee's support at such a time.

He remained in the office for the rest of the day, working on other things but with the threat of retribution never quite out of his mind. Dee knew exactly where Ryo's head was at every time he looked at him or called his name and didn't get an answer. Eventually Dee suggested they should call it a day and go home and for once, Ryo readily agreed. They'd both received threats against them before; usually a shouted promise of vengeance as the perpetrator was hauled off to jail but nothing they had ever really taken seriously. However the fearsome reputation of the De Luca family itself was enough to make Ryo proceed with caution and be extra vigilant as they left the precinct and headed for their car. The weather, despite the fact that the day had started relatively mildly, had suddenly turned with a bracing, icy wind blowing around the parking lot as if winter had decided it wasn't quite done yet.

They reached the apartment complex and headed into the building as darkness was starting to fall, Ryo looking more than a little relieved to be home at last. As the two men stood alone in the elevator Ryo said suddenly, "What should we tell Bicky?"

Dee pondered this for a moment. "We need to be straight with him. Someone's a bit pissed off that you spoiled their plans and has threatened to try something."

"I don't want to scare him," Ryo said worriedly as they neared their floor.

"I know, but he needs to be careful too."

Ryo's eyes widened as if he hadn't considered this and seeing his reaction, Dee pulled the other man into a comforting embrace. "Don't worry baby," he murmured into the ear next to his lips. "We'll get the other suspect and then we can relax again." He felt Ryo nod against his shoulder and he released him so they could look at each other. "I love you Dee," Ryo said as the doors opened and they stepped out onto their landing. "You too," Dee replied; glad to see Ryo smiling at last. "Let's go and get dinner on. Bicky's probably been moaning to himself for the last couple of hours."

Ryo laughed as he put the keys into the door and let them in. His smile faded almost instantaneously however as he realised the apartment was in darkness, meaning that Bicky wasn't there. He glanced back at Dee who'd seen it too. "Check the answer phone," Dee urged, "Maybe he's left a message to say he'd be late home."

Switching on lights and throwing his briefcase on the couch as he passed, Ryo hurried to the phone, relieved to see the red light flashing to say there was a new message. His relief quickly dissipated when the voice of his aunt floated out from the speaker, informing him his cousin was getting married and would he be able to attend? Dark eyes reflecting his nervousness, Ryo turned back to face Dee, his mind conjuring up a range of terrible reasons why Bicky wasn't there. Dee could see it and was quick to react. "You know Bicky, he's probably gone to Cal's and forgot to ring, the insensitive little bastard."

Ryo ignored the insult to his adopted charge, knowing Dee's slip was because he was worried too. "Wait!" he said suddenly, "I turned my cell phone off earlier because some television station had got my number and kept ringing me." Rushing to his briefcase he retrieved the device and turned it back on. They'd only waited a couple of seconds in torturous silence when it began to ring indicating Ryo had a new message. He put the handset to his ear, his face flooding with relief as he listened.

"Was it Bicky?" Dee asked, as Ryo ended the call.

"No but it was a message from Mr Sampson, the basketball coach asking could I pick him up at eight from Tom's Diner. They must have decided to get something to eat after practice." Ryo looked at his watch and made to leave, knowing it was a good twenty minutes to the location, before Dee stopped him.

"I'll go," the ebony haired man said. "You're safer here and besides, you could have the dinner ready for when we get back. I'll stop and get a bottle of wine and we can have an early night."

Ryo smiled and nodded in defeat, knowing Dee was right and liking the idea of spending the evening wrapped tightly in his loving embrace. He followed his lover to the door where Dee turned, unable to leave without stealing one final kiss. Ryo responded so fervently that Dee almost shut the door again, wanting to take his lover there and then as the desire rose within him. He knew however that Ryo wouldn't reciprocate, not while Bicky was out there and this threat was hanging over his head so reluctantly Dee broke the embrace, his voice slightly breathy as he spoke. "I better go. I'll be back soon but lock the door and don't answer it until I get back."

"Okay," Ryo agreed as he reached back behind Dee's head and pulled a scarf off the coat rack. "Here," he said, looping the grey material around Dee's neck. "Put this on, it's cold out."

Dee smiled at Ryo's constant thoughtfulness for those he cared about. "Okay. See you soon love."

Hearing Dee's footsteps fading away, Ryo locked the door and headed back to where his briefcase lay on the couch, his hand reaching reluctantly for the panic button Commissioner Rose had advised him to take from work. He studied the device that fitted in the palm of his hand, only too aware of how many of these he'd handed out expecting the recipients to feel reassured once they had them, but realising now _he_ was the one in need, that they did very little to quell the fear and anxiety inside. Knowing he needed to take his mind off the letter, he went into the kitchen to start preparing the evening meal, the radio filling the void of silence as he chopped vegetables and diced the meat. Twenty minutes later, the telephone rang and Ryo wiped his hands as he went to answer it. He expected it to be Dee and so was surprised when Bicky's voice travelled down the line into his ear.

"Ryo!" the boy said, surprised that someone was in to answer the phone. "I thought you were supposed to be picking me up?"

"Dee's on his way, we got your message."

"What message?" Bicky asked, "You left _me_ a message saying you'd pick me up outside the gym at eight."

Ryo frowned. "We got a message from Mr Sampson saying you needed picking up at eight from Tom's Diner." He heard Bicky laugh at the other end of the phone. "Uh Ryo, there's just two things wrong with that. One, it's Mr _Simpson_ not Sampson and two, Tom's Diner closed down a week ago."

Ryo froze, his instinct telling him something was wrong. "Bicky, listen to me. Go inside the gym and don't come out until I get there. If anyone tells you to go with them then don't listen."

"But…"

"Just do it!" Ryo shouted as he grabbed his coat off the rack. "I'll explain when I get there." Slamming the phone down, he'd almost left the apartment when a thought occurred to him and he doubled back and retrieved his gun out of the safe.

He drove to the gym in a style more reminiscent of Dee than himself, weaving in between cars which sounded their horns at his recklessness and shooting through traffic lights that had almost changed back to red. He pulled up at the gym, ignoring the signs that forbade drivers from parking there and ran towards the main doors, relieved to find the place reasonably well occupied despite the late hour. Inside the well-lit foyer he found Bicky sat on his kit bag, scowling at the lady behind the desk who kept shooting him disapproving glances.

"Are you here for him?" she asked Ryo as he headed towards the boy, relief etched on his handsome yet somewhat strained features.

"Yes maam," Ryo replied, offering her a grateful smile. "I'd told him to wait inside. I'm a police officer."

"Figures," the woman snorted as she returned to filing her nails. She looked up just in time to see Bicky sticking his tongue out at her as Ryo ushered him out the building and towards his car.

"So what's the big deal?" Bicky asked as he climbed into the passenger seat, Ryo flooring the gas pedal before he'd even got his seatbelt on. "Whoah man, slow down!"

"I don't know exactly," Ryo replied as he took a corner dangerously fast. "But I didn't leave you that message."

"Ditto," Bicky retorted, gripping the armrest for support. "So who did?"

Ryo sighed heavily, knowing he had little choice but to tell Bicky what had transpired today as a result of all the media publicity surrounding the Goldsmith case. The boy's eyes widened at the realisation that somebody had tried to trick them by leaving false messages. "So where are we going now?" he asked, glad to see Ryo's gun peeking out from under the man's overcoat.

"To Tom's Diner," the blond man replied, "Someone wanted me to go there and I don't know why." Inside Ryo was praying that he would find Dee there, wandering around smoking a cigarette and grumbling about Bicky and his practical jokes but wishes couldn't quite push aside his anxiety that something was very, very wrong.

Leaving the main flow of traffic, Ryo turned off onto the street where the diner had, until a week ago, been the main hangout for the kids that frequented the basketball courts where Bicky practised with his team. Naturally the building was in darkness but the large plate glass window was lit up by the headlights of a car parked at a diagonal with one wheel resting on the kerb as if someone had just abandoned it there. The rear licence plate glowed as Ryo's car pulled up behind it confirming for definite the blond's mounting suspicion that it was Dee's old sedan, parked oddly with the driver's door hanging open. Bicky had seen it too and his large blue eyes reflected his fear as he turned to look at Ryo, who took his gun out of the holster and flicked off the safety catch.

"Stay here," he instructed the boy, his voice almost robotic as he tried to suppress the terror at what he might find. "And lock the door behind me."

For once Bicky did exactly as he was told as Ryo climbed out of the car, his movements cautious as he headed towards the abandoned vehicle. The former street kid could only watch fearfully as his guardian moved around his lover's car, his face a grim mask as he battled against his emotions to remain detached and professional.

Before Ryo had got close to the car, he could tell there was no one in it; a fact that he wasn't sure whether he should feel glad about or not. The interior of the car was its usual messy self, with empty cigarette packets and fast food cartons strewn around, making it hard to see if the car had been broken into. Despite the mess, Ryo's eyes were instantly drawn to the ashtray where a cigarette was slowly burning out, as if the person who had lit it had left it, expecting to return or they had not expected to leave in the first place. Only when he bent into the car to take a proper look did he notice two things, both of which threatened to still his heart, which up until that moment had been hammering in his chest.

The note tucked under the windscreen wiper on the other side of the glass.

And the blood, staining the steering wheel only millimetres from his face.

"Oh God," Ryo muttered, stifling a sob as he recoiled from sight inside the car and moved around to the bonnet, reholstering his gun and removing his leather gloves from his pocket, which he put on with shaking hands. Tentatively, he removed the note and unfolded it, his eyes struggling to focus on the typewritten page before him.

_Dear Detective,_

_Were you arrogant enough to think we'd kidnap you? Tsk, tsk, all that television exposure must have gone to your head! No, we thought you'd suffer much more if we took one of your loved ones instead. We'll be in touch to let you know exactly what we want in exchange for your handsome partner. Until then… well I guess it's up to us what we do with him! Naturally we expect you to comply unless you want to be hunting for a corpse._

_I guess we're more skilled than you thought, huh Detective?_

Closing the note, Ryo stumbled back and reached in his pocket for his cell phone, speed dialling the number of the station. He made the request for the investigation team on autopilot, giving his location and the reason for the request in a voice he barely recognised as his own before he headed back to his car where Bicky was watching him curiously.

"Where's Dee?" Bicky asked as soon as Ryo sat down in the driver's seat, his fear stopping him from calling Dee by any of his usual derogatory monikers.

"He's gone," Ryo said blankly, his eyes never straying from vehicle up ahead. "Someone's taken him."

"Holy shit," Bicky replied, pushing his unruly hair back off his face before he unfastened his seatbelt, "Well we better go look for him!"

"No," Ryo said firmly, coming out of his stupor to grab the boy's hand as it went to the door handle. "We have to stay here. Backup is on its way."

Reluctantly, Bicky nodded knowing Ryo was right and it was foolish to put themselves in danger but the frustration at not being able to do anything was almost overwhelming. Despite the way he acted towards Dee, Bicky thought a lot about the other man and as he sat in stunned silence with Ryo next to him, he refused to contemplate that Dee might not be alive anymore…

TBC…


	4. The Lion's Den

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 4 – The Lion's Den

It was several long moments before Dee, hampered by a large and excruciatingly painful headache, managed to arrange his thoughts into a coherent order and piece together what exactly had happened to him. He recalled leaving the apartment and driving his car to the diner near the basketball courts where he had been instructed to pick Bicky up from. Seeing the building in darkness and planks of wood nailed across the door it hadn't taken him too long to realise that the instructions he'd been given weren't entirely accurate and he had been instantly suspicious. Believing he saw movement from within the defunct diner, he had pulled his car up onto the kerb, allowing the headlights to flood the through the window and illuminate the interior.

The movement seemed to have come from the back of the building and so he had got out the car and gone, with his weapon drawn, to check out the yard behind the shop. Finding nothing he had gone back round the front and got back into his car, lighting a cigarette which he had left to smoulder in the ashtray while he found his phone to call Ryo and tell him what had happened. After that… things got a little hazy but Dee assumed from the pain in his head and feeling of something warm and sticky plastering his hair to his forehead that someone, who most likely had been hiding in the back of his car when he had got back in, had rammed his head into the steering wheel, knocking him unconscious.

However as unconsciousness faded and clarity returned Dee became aware that a headache was the least of his worries. Realising that he was bleeding from a head wound he had gone to try and touch the injured flesh but found the movement was impossible as both his hands were secured, mostly likely with his own set of handcuffs, behind his back. As he was sat on the floor leaning against what felt like a pillar, he could only presume that his hands were cuffed around that, making escape even more of an impossibility. As a police officer, his first instinct was to try and learn more about his surroundings but this too was hindered by a blindfold which, judging from the itching sensation around his eyes, was most likely his own scarf. In pain and wearied by this initial assessment, Dee groaned and muttered a long string of swear words under his breath as he sank back against the pillar he was chained to.

"Tsk, tsk Detective Latener. Does your Commissioner know you use words like that?"

Despite his lack of sight, Dee turned sharply towards the sound of the voice, angry that whoever it was had made him jump. "My apologies," he spat, "I didn't realise we were in a monastery."

The voice laughed; an unpleasant throaty sound that grated on Dee's already frazzled nerves. "I can see I made the right choice picking you."

Dee frowned, although his expression was masked by the blindfold. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," the voice said, "It was you or the boy, but I don't like children."

Dee processed this carefully, the realisation dawning on him that they had misinterpreted the threat and Ryo had never been their intended target. "Is this about money?" he asked before his tone turned sarcastic, "You don't seriously think the police will pay, do you? Or are you thinking Henry Goldsmith will write a big fat cheque out of gratitude to little old me because if you think that then you sure as hell haven't been watching the T.V recently…"

Suddenly Dee found his face gripped by a strong hand, the fingers digging uncomfortably into his cheeks. "Listen!" the voice hissed so close that the breath warmed his skin, "This isn't about money! I don't give a shit about Goldsmith; that was just a job to us! But my brother is in custody because of you and your partner and you're the only chance I have of getting him out."

The assailant released his hold on Dee's face with a shove, banging the shackled man's head against the pillar and intensifying his headache significantly. Dee moaned quietly, unconsciousness threatening once again as his head rolled forward onto his chest. Across the room, his attacker smiled; certain that he had found the perfect bargaining chip to get his brother freed. "Hey now," he said loudly as he rooted in his canvas holdall for the tools he needed for the next part of his plan. "Don't go to sleep on me. We've got work to do." Hearing the last part of the sentence, Dee dragged himself back to consciousness just as his head was jerked roughly to one side and impatient fingers worked the knot at the back of the blindfold. His eyes now free, Dee blinked several times in attempt to clear the fuzziness that had settled there but before he could put his new-found vision to good use, his captor had sprayed CS gas in his face, rendering him blind and in pain once more. A cry of agony escaped his lips just as he felt a hand go to his throat, but instead of strangling him, it moved sharply downwards, snapping the chain around his neck and taking from him the solid silver crucifix that Ryo had bought him on his last birthday.

"Lift your head up," the voice growled and to emphasise his seriousness, Dee felt a gun being pushed against his temple. As he grudgingly did as he was told, his injured eyes registered a flash, which he correctly guessed was a camera. After several moments of silence the voice said, "Well it's not a great picture but you can tell it's you." Through tear-blurred eyes, Dee watched as the other man, his identity obscured by a black balaclava, slid the photograph into an envelope before he walked back over to him and re-secured the blindfold over his stinging eyes. "Sorry about that," the man sneered as he pulled the scarf tight around Dee's face. "But I wouldn't want you identifying me."

"No problem," Dee muttered as his tears began to soak into the material across his eyes. "You're probably an ugly bastard anyway."

"Whatever," the other replied. "You can go back to sleep now." As he finished the sentence, Dee heard him laugh before a fist rammed squarely into his cheek and he lost consciousness altogether.

In reality, backup arrived a mere twenty minutes after Ryo had made the call but for he and Bicky it felt nothing short of an eternity. As the first car pulled up, Ryo was surprised to see Commissioner Rose jump out. Half of him was relieved to see his superior; to know that the senior policeman was taking Dee's disappearance seriously, but the other half of him didn't want to deal with Rose and his false concern.

"Ryo," the man called hurrying towards him. "Are you okay?" Rose almost reached out to touch the other man in a gesture of support but thought better of it, seeing Ryo's dark expression. His eyes went past Ryo to where Bicky sat in the car, hunched up with his knees resting on his chin, his bright blue eyes watching the proceedings intently. "Did they try and take him too?" Rose asked, nodding towards the boy.

Ryo shook his head as he explained about the phone messages. He talked to Rose although his eyes never left the car ahead, where the investigation team were starting to take samples, picking apart his lover's car like a corpse at autopsy. The thought made him sick to his stomach and he was almost glad that Rose was there when the other man starting talking to him, distracting him from his morbid thoughts.

"You should go home," Rose said gently, then adding as he saw Ryo's defiant reaction, "For Bicky's sake."

Ryo nodded reluctantly, knowing his desire to stay was selfish. He'd witnessed plenty of crime scenes before; albeit none as personal to him as this, but he was conscious the flashing blue lights and harried activity might be affecting Bicky more than the boy would ever let on.

"Will you be okay?" Rose asked, "Or do you want someone to come and stay with you?"

Ryo shook his head, unsure whether the commissioner was offering his services. "We'll be fine Sir but…" his voice trailed off and he had to clear his throat to regain its strength, "What if the kidnapper makes contact?"

Rose took a deep and weary breath, knowing he couldn't allow Ryo free rein to give into the kidnapper's demands. "Find out what they want," he said calmly, "And tell them we'll do our best."

Arguing, he knew was futile, and so Ryo merely nodded his head as he turned back to his car. He paused, turning back to Rose and opened his mouth to speak but the other man beat him to it. "Of course we'll ring if we find anything out," he said, certain that was what the anxious looking man was about to ask. Ryo nodded silently and climbed into his car, the weight of the world almost visible on his shoulders.

He drove slowly from the scene, glancing in the rear view mirror as the flashing lights faded into the distance. After a long and weary silence, Bicky finally spoke; his voice small and a stark reminder to Ryo just how young he was. "Ryo? Is Dee ever coming home?"

Ryo swallowed the huge lump in his throat, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white. "Of course he is," he said, willing his eyes not to betray his attempted optimism in front of his son.

Despite his weariness, Ryo forced himself to be alert as they reached their apartment complex; aware that the kidnapper could have yet more surprises in store for him but nothing appeared out of place as he unlocked the door and the two of them stepped into the apartment in silence. Ryo went straight to the answer phone but no one had called while they were out. He checked his cell phone again, despite it being in his possession the entire time but it hadn't rung either and in frustration, he threw the device onto the table. He glanced at Bicky, who looked startled by his normally placid guardian's display of anger, and immediately reined in his emotions; Bicky had seen a lifetime of aggression and anger and he wouldn't be the one to subject him to any more of it.

"You should get to bed," Ryo said gently, offering the boy a tired smile. "You have school tomorrow."

Bicky's eyes widened. "I can't go to school! Dee…"

Ryo walked over to him and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. "We need to keep going Bicky. If we put our lives on hold then they've won. Tomorrow you will go to school and I'll go to work, okay? Just like normal."

Reluctantly Bicky agreed, allowing Ryo to steer him towards his bedroom. As he reached the door he stopped and turned, causing Ryo to anticipate another show of defiance but instead, Bicky reached up and put his arms around the tall blond. "Sleep well Ryo," he said hugging the other tightly, "Doofus will be home before you know it." Ryo smiled and quickly bid him goodnight, glad that Bicky closed his door as he finally lost his battle to hold the tears at bay. He moved to the couch and sat down heavily, his head falling into his hands as he tried to stifle the sobs that wracked his exhausted body. He knew he should go straight to sleep too but the thought of his bed, so empty without Dee, seemed more than he could bear. After several moments his breathing calmed and he looked up, his eyes immediately lighting on a framed photograph sat on the coffee table in front of him.

The image was taken several months ago shortly before Dee had moved in and showed the two of them plus Bicky and Cal enjoying a day out at a theme park. Despite the fact that Bicky was making bunny rabbit ears behind Dee's head and Dee himself was scowling about having to spend the day with the 'kids', Ryo loved the picture; the other three people in the picture were the closest thing he had to family and he treasured every memory of their time together. As the thought crept into his mind that they may never share another day like that again, the tears started afresh as he slumped back onto the couch, the photo held tightly in his arms like a comfort blanket. He eventually cried himself to sleep like that, the events of the day finally taking its toll on the over-burdened detective.

The morning dawned and Ryo was awakened by the light streaming through the windows, unfettered by blinds, which he had never got round to shutting the previous evening. For a moment he couldn't recall why he would be sleeping on the couch. Had he and Dee had a fight? Only when he went to stand and the tear-stained photograph tumbled to the floor did he recall why he had never made it to the bedroom the night before. His mind immediately turned to checking the phones but before he could reach the handset, it started to ring, causing Ryo to freeze in his tracks. Four rings had passed when Bicky flew from his bedroom, assuming that Ryo hadn't heard the phone.

"What are you doing?" he cried as he saw Ryo stood, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights. "Ryo, answer it!"

The blond man snapped out of his stupor and snatched up the receiver but before he could speak, the voice at the other end was addressing him. "Ryo? Is that you?" he heard Commissioner Rose say; obviously worried by the amount of time it had taken for the detective to answer the phone. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Ryo replied, too tired to adopt his usual formal tone before he panicked at why the commissioner was ringing so early. "Did you hear anything about Dee?"

"No," came the flat reply, "And I take it you didn't either."

"No."

"Well I just wanted to say you don't have to come into work today if you don't feel up to it. We'll be briefing the entire force at half nine…"

"I'll be there," Ryo said firmly, his tone a clear indicator that Rose shouldn't bother attempting to dissuade him.

"Fine," Rose replied, having expected that answer from him, before he paused, unsure how to broach the next subject. "Uh Ryo, when we do the briefing this morning, people will want to know what the note you found said in it. I know your immediate colleagues know about you and Dee but after this morning it'll probably be common knowledge throughout the precinct." He paused again. "Are you okay with that?"

Ryo thought about it, recalling the promise he had made to Dee at Christmas to try and be more open about their relationship; if ever there was a time to honour that promise then it was now. "I'll be fine Sir, thank you for ringing. I'll see you at the briefing."

Ryo ended the call and went to shower and change into fresh clothes, leaving Bicky to see to his own breakfast. After they were both ready, Ryo dropped Bicky off at school, giving him explicit instructions on what to do if anything happened that made him feel uncomfortable. Bicky grumbled and complained that he wasn't a child but grudgingly agreed to humour Ryo, knowing his guardian would feel better that he'd said his piece. With Bicky gone, he drove onto the precinct, trying desperately to ignore the faint odour of smoke inside the car, which reminded him too much of Dee. He'd vowed never to let the other man smoke in his car but somehow, like always, Dee had managed to worm his way around that ground rule with a sexy smile and an intense look from those deep green/grey eyes. What he would give to see the other man in the passenger seat drawing contentedly on a cigarette he thought before he pushed the emotion away, determined to make it through the day without breaking down in front of his fellow officers.

He parked up at the precinct and made his way inside, only at the last minute acknowledging that for the first time in days, there were no reporters there to greet him. It was exactly half past nine when Ryo pushed open the door into the briefing room to be greeted by a sea of people, some uniformed and some not who acknowledged his entrance with various levels of interest. Those that knew him and Dee and what exactly they had together offered him a sympathetic smile as he made his way towards the seat at the front that Commissioner Rose had saved for him, whilst others viewed him with curiosity as rumours continued to fly as to why exactly they had been called here at the start of the day. Seeing his force assembled before him, Berkley Rose took to the dais, tapping the microphone and clearing his throat before he started to speak.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen," he said, addressing the large group with a sombre tone. "I have called you all here today to brief you on a case which affects you all as police officers of this great city. Last night, Detective Dee Latener, a member of our homicide division was forcibly taken from his car and is currently being held hostage at an unknown location by a suspect we believe has some connection to the Goldsmith kidnapping case that Detective Latener and his partner were working on." He paused briefly, the silence that had fallen over the assembled crowd almost deafening. "As of yet, we have received no ransom demand for Detective Latener's return but are confident that his kidnapper will make contact soon. That said, I would wish that each and every one of you would be extra vigilant as you go about your duties in the hope that we may uncover Detective Latener's whereabouts without having to bow to the demands of criminals." Rose paused to collect himself with a deep breath, realising he had all but shouted those last words. As much as disliked Dee on a personal level he was angered by the thought of harm befalling any of his officers and he was struggling to keep that anger in.

When he continued again, his voice was somewhat calmer and controlled as he activated the slide projector, causing it to display an image of the crime scene on the large white screen behind him. "Last night, Detective Latener received a hoax phone call which took him to Frith Street on the south side where we believe he was ambushed by an unknown assailant. His car was found at the scene and blood and hair samples were taken from inside the vehicle, which are believed to be from Detective Latener." He clicked the button in his hand and the image changed to a close up view of the steering wheel, yellow police markers indicating the gory evidence. Rose faltered briefly as he saw Ryo out of the corner of his eye, bowing his head, his eyes tightly shut as the memory of finding the blood returned.

"A note was found at the scene which was intended for his partner, Detective Randy McLain, indicating that the kidnapping was an act of retribution for the arrest of a suspect several days earlier. As I said before, we have had no contact since then but we are hopeful that the kidnapper will not maintain his silence for much longer." Rose stopped again, his eyes sweeping across the rows of solemn faces. He clicked the button one last time and a photograph of Dee appeared on the screen. Ryo glanced up briefly at the image as his heart lurched in his chest. If not for the circumstances it would have been funny; the picture was probably one JJ had taken, judging by Dee's scowl and clear unwillingness to be a subject for the photograph as he sat in the precinct common room smoking a cigarette. Ryo studied it and smiled slightly, thinking how Dee somehow always managed to look handsome even when he was angry. He was pulled from his musings by Rose, who continued to address the assembled officers in an appropriately grave manner. "Although there will be a team specifically assigned to investigating Detective Latener's disappearance, I feel it is vital that you, the eyes and ears of our law enforcement family, are fully briefed on these events so that you can lend your support at this difficult time. Are there any questions?"

An older uniformed cop raised his hand at the back. "Excuse me Sir, but if this is an act of vengeance then how can we be sure Detective Latener is even alive?"

Rose had steeled himself for this question but it still hit him hard when the words were uttered out loud. "We're certain that the suspect is hoping to gain something from abducting Detective Latener and until we receive any information to the contrary then we will continue to assume that Detective Latener is still alive." He said it so forcefully that no one dared argue otherwise and it was several moments before anyone else raised their hand.

"Sir?" a young police woman asked, somewhat timidly, "Is it possible to know what the letter said?"

Rose didn't answer immediately, his eyes straying to Ryo, seeking the blond man's approval. Ryo met his gaze briefly and nodded, indicating that he would not prevent Rose from disclosing the information, and so the older man began to read, enunciating every word of the short yet tauntingly cruel letter. When he reached the part about 'loved ones' there were several frowns in the audience as they contemplated why the suspect would use that particular wording, which grew to murmurs as the commissioner finished reading. Seeing it, Ryo stood and headed towards Rose and the dais, the older man looking surprised by the unexpected movement. Realising Ryo wanted to address the room for himself, Rose stepped down and let Ryo take his place at the microphone, his expression one of concern as the younger man nervously cleared his throat. Dark brown eyes surveyed the faces before him as he embarked on his unprepared speech.

"Good morning to you all. My name is Randy McLain and as Commissioner Rose has explained, I am Detective Latener's partner. For those that don't know me I would like to explain a couple of things. Firstly, as you may have realised from the letter Commissioner Rose has just read to you, Dee and I are partners in every sense of the word." He paused and successfully resisted the urge to lower his gaze after what he had just said. He had no reason to feel ashamed; Dee had taught him that. "Last night, I had to return home knowing our apartment would instantly feel different without Dee there. And it did, and I didn't like it." He stopped again, forced to swallow the lump of emotion that threatened to steal his voice. "Both myself and Dee talked about the risks of being police officers but that doesn't mean I should be expected to contemplate a life without him, just because someone doesn't agree with being brought to justice." He scanned the faces again, this time making eye contact with several of the people that watched him in silence as he continued his heartfelt address. "I don't expect each and every one of you to understand or agree with what we have but I implore you to remain vigilant as Commissioner Rose has asked in the hope that it will bring Dee back to me and to his colleagues who love and miss him very much. Thankyou."

He was about to step down from the dais, his heart feeling like glass about to shatter when spontaneous applause broke out amongst the large group, which quickly grew to a cacophonous level. Surprised, Ryo looked back at the audience to be greeted by a host of supportive expressions; no one in any doubt that what he had just done had taken tremendous courage. He smiled gratefully as the officers started to file out of the room, leaving several of his immediate colleagues who wanted to offer their support in a more personal way. Included in that group was JJ whose eyes looked suspiciously shiny as he waited his turn to speak to Ryo. Just like with Dee and Commissioner Rose, there was a certain amount of bad feeling between Ryo and JJ because of the younger man's constant pursuit of Dee, despite him being very much attached to Ryo. They were also rivals in work too with them both being judged the Precinct's best shots and so JJ was the last person Ryo expected to see coming towards him in his hour of need. The younger man sensed the awkwardness too as he came to stand in front of Ryo after Drake had said a few words, and for a brief moment, Ryo thought he wasn't going to say anything at all.

"I know… you and me don't always see eye to eye," JJ said eventually, glancing up at Ryo through his light brown bangs, "But I want you to know that I'll help in any way to bring Dee back to you." The smaller man paused, as if his next sentence was almost too painful to say out loud. "I've always wanted Dee to love and want me the way he does with you Ryo and I don't think I can ever give up hope that one day it might happen even though I know, deep down, that his heart will always belong to you. I envy you Ryo, so stay strong… for Dee." Despite his pain, Ryo smiled and nodded in gratitude at the other man before he turned and walked away. "Thank you JJ," Ryo called after him, causing the other to stop and glance back at him. "What you said… means a lot so thank you." JJ nodded and offered Ryo a small smile before he turned away and headed for the door.

Despite the fact that he had stood up in front of almost one hundred of his colleagues and openly discussed his sexuality, Ryo found that entering the office he and Dee had shared for the past three years the hardest thing he had had to do in a long time. Dee never tidied anything away, giving his desk the look that whoever was working at it was about to return any moment and Ryo couldn't help but think that Dee would do just that; breezing back into the office, cigarette clamped between his lips and long ebony bangs hanging in his eyes as if nothing had ever happened. Like a moth to the flame Ryo couldn't stop himself from reaching out and touching some of Dee's possessions; as if that brief caress of even the most ordinary things would somehow bring him closer to his absent lover.

In the later part of the morning, the team investigating Dee's disappearance was named. Dee was a popular man at the precinct and so there were no shortage of willing volunteers to head up the investigation but Berkley Rose had narrowed it down to fifteen officers who were then briefed more thoroughly on the details of the case. Ryo was also on that team; Rose had consulted him first, concerned that it might be a little too close to home for the blond detective but Ryo had firmly insisted that he needed to do it firstly for Dee, and then for his sanity if nothing else. By the middle of the afternoon, most of the team were out; returning to the scene to look for witnesses and the like but Ryo had decided to stay back at base coordinating the enquires, not yet feeling strong enough to go back to the place where his lover had been snatched from. He had just finished a brief and uninformative phone call from one of the officers involved when Rose appeared at the door, his expression more anxious than Ryo could ever recall seeing on the cool, controlled blond.

"Sir?" Ryo asked, sensing his senior did not have good news.

"Ryo, could you come into my office please. Something has just arrived and I think you need to see it."

Frightened by the solemnity of Rose's tone, Ryo stood quickly and followed the older man into his office, allowing Rose to close the door behind him as his heart pounded wildly in his chest, deeply fearful about what he was about to see.

TBC…


	5. Raising Cain

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 5 – Raising Cain

Once they were alone, Rose headed back behind his desk where he picked up several items, all sealed in evidence bags, which he handed one by one to Ryo, who sat down and studied them closely, his face ashen. "This arrived in the second post," Rose explained wearily as Ryo surveyed the unremarkable brown envelope, the typeface on the front already starting to look familiar. This time however, the envelope was addressed to Rose and not Ryo himself. "This was inside," Rose continued, passing Ryo the second evidence bag which contained a letter, typed onto a crisp white sheet of paper as the previous two had been.

_Dear Commissioner, _it began, Ryo's eyes racing across the printed words, anxious for any information on his missing lover. _I'm guessing by now you're fully au fait with the situation. This is a serious kidnapping so here is the first of my demands. There will be more, but I trust you'll do everything to ensure that I'm kept happy, that is of course unless you want to want to be measuring up Detective Latener's coffin._

Ryo continued to read as the letter outlined the kidnapper's first demand which involved the charges being dropped against the Goldsmith suspect they had in custody. "He wants us to free him?" Ryo said out loud as if to clarify the facts in his own mind.

"It would appear so," Rose replied grimly, now seated behind his desk with his chin resting on his tented fingers. He went silent again as he allowed Ryo to finish reading the letter, knowing that for Ryo, the worst was yet to come.

_Obviously I knew you'd want proof that Detective Latener is still alive so I've sent you a couple of little presents._

Ryo instantly lowered the note to look at Rose. "What presents?" he asked fearfully, before his eyes lit on the last two evidence bags laid out on Rose's desk. Obligingly, the commissioner pushed the first smaller bag across, allowing Ryo to see the contents. The other man's heart caught in his throat as he lifted the bag to study the small silver cross inside, its chain snapped and the clasp broken off completely. "Oh God," Ryo muttered, recalling how much Dee had loved the cross and vowed never to take it off when Ryo had given it to him on his birthday, before he realised there was one final piece of evidence left to look at. Seeing Ryo's expectant look, Rose slid the last bag across the large mahogany desk and waited nervously for the other man's reaction. Dropping the cross back onto the desk, Ryo took up the last bag, realising that the flimsy transparent plastic was harbouring a photograph, taking by one of those instamatic cameras he had bought Bicky a couple of years ago.

He had a good idea that the photo wouldn't be pleasant as he lifted it up towards the light, but the reality seemed much, much worse as he studied the image of Dee, obviously shackled with his hands behind his back and clearly in some pain as he stared off to one side. Despite the slight angling of his face away from the camera, Ryo could see the nasty head wound with its congealed blood around the broken skin just below his hairline; the injury no doubt responsible for the blood found at the crime scene. On Dee's cheek, Ryo could make out some smaller red marks, as if someone had pressed the skin very hard and held it that way for several seconds, deliberately to leave an imprint. Eventually managing to tear his gaze away from the image, Ryo closed his eyes and let out a long, slow breath, trying to imagine how Dee must be feeling and mentally willing him to be strong. As he ended his silent prayer, he opened his eyes and looked straight at Rose, determined to know exactly what the commissioner was going to do about it. "Are we going to comply with his demands?" he asked finally.

Rose shuffled uncomfortably for a moment, his eyes dropping down to the items on his desk. "I don't know whether we can…"

"What?!" Ryo cried his dark eyes wide with disbelief, "You read what the letter said! He'll kill Dee if we don't comply!"

"Ryo," Rose said soothingly, "You've dealt with kidnappers before; it isn't always that simple..."

"Don't patronise me!" Ryo shouted, standing from his chair so quickly it was as if he'd received an electric shock. "What about our 'law enforcement family' you were talking about before or was that all just bullshit to make you look good?"

The outburst was so out of character for Ryo that Rose just sat there stunned. Dee, he expected this kind of reaction from but not calm and predictable Ryo. In the end, knowing that Ryo wouldn't be placated by anything less, he nodded and said to the seething man across from him, "I'll see what I can do."

As Ryo left Rose's office he was overwhelmed by the urge to get out and with little thought beyond informing a bewildered looking Ted that he was going off duty, he did just that, grabbing his coat and case and hurrying down to his car. Climbing into the vehicle and closing the door with a bang, Ryo suddenly stopped, his mind replaying the exchange with Rose and realising exactly what he'd just done. "God, I'm turning into Dee," he muttered to himself as he raked a hand through his dishevelled locks thinking that Dee would probably laugh if he knew Ryo had both shouted and sworn at his superior. Shaking his head in disbelief at his own show of temper, Ryo started the engine and pulled out of his parking space, then had to brake sharply as another car pulled into the lot at speed.

"Moron," Ryo commented as he accelerated, frowning as the large silver car looked vaguely familiar as it passed.

Bound and blindfolded Dee had lost all concept of time. He knew he'd lapsed into unconsciousness once again after his captor had struck him but with no idea how long for, he couldn't even begin to guess whether it was day or night, let alone something as specific as the time. Under the blindfold his face felt swollen where he'd been hit. The area where the skin had been broken was tingling slightly and Dee could only pray that the wound wasn't becoming infected. Fully awake, he listened for several long moments, trying to determine whether his attacker was in the room with him but the resulting silence told him he was alone, at least for now. As he had done the last time he had regained consciousness, Dee tested his bonds, finding that his hands were still chained up behind the pillar he was leaning against. As he shifted slightly, his back seemed to protest at the uncomfortable position he was forced to endure before the dull ache was soon drowned out by the cramping sensation in his leg. The doctor at the hospital had warned him to not let the damaged limb go stiff but there was little he could do whilst he was restrained in such a way, and then, as the proverbial icing on the cake, his stomach began to growl loudly having not been filled for at least twenty four hours or so Dee estimated.

"Goddamnit," Dee muttered, almost wishing he was still unconscious so as not to endure the complaints from the various parts of his body. "This is really shit…"

He stopped suddenly as his ears picked up the sound of a door being opened. Listening intently, he heard the door open and then close, quickly followed by the sound of approaching footsteps, which stopped as Dee turned his head towards the noise. "Ah, you're awake Detective Dee Latener," the voice said, slightly mocking in its tone. "Did you sleep well?"

"Just dandy," Dee replied, his own tones laced with sarcasm. "Not that I'm not enjoying my stay in your luxurious facilities but how long exactly do you plan to keep me here?"

There was a scraping sound, which sounded like a chair being pulled across the floor towards him. "That all depends," was the answer.

"On what?"

"On whether your commissioner plays ball and gives me what I want."

Dee nodded slowly in comprehension. "Well I hate to break this to you but I'm not exactly the commissioner's favourite person, period."

"But he has to do _something_," the voice replied and Dee flinched as fingers touched his hair, checking the knot at the back of the blindfold, "I mean, your partner's never going to fall in love with him if he doesn't at least _try_ to get you back."

Dee snorted, but inside there was a surge of fear as he realised his captor knew more about him and Ryo than he had first presumed. "That is the biggest pile of crap…"

"I've seen the way he looks at him," the voice interjected. "Like a hungry wolf, just waiting for his moment."

"You're crazy," Dee snapped; angered by the thought of Rose going anywhere near Ryo, especially if he was feeling vulnerable after what had happened.

"What are you scared of Dee Latener?" the voice mocked. "That Rose can offer him more than you?"

"What would you know?" Dee replied gruffly, before his stomach embarked on a loud and prolonged growl of protest.

"I know plenty," came the answer as Dee heard the sound of bags rustling. "And you my friend know very little. Now I've brought you some food, which judging by that noise, you'd probably quite like, am I right?"

"What is it?" Dee asked suspiciously, wanting to remain defiant but knowing food swallowed much easier than pride.

"A sandwich," his captor replied shortly. "Don't worry, it's not funky. I wouldn't be much of a kidnapper if I poisoned my own hostage would I? Now d'you want it or not?"

Dee nodded; his humiliation increasing tenfold as his captor began to hand feed him the provisions. When the sandwich was gone, Dee felt a bottle being pushed to his lips, which the voice informed him was water, and he drank from it greedily, his throat parched from lack of fluids. Once his hunger and thirst had been satisfied, an uncomfortable silence descended, made worse for Dee because he couldn't see what his captor was doing. Recalling his training, he knew his kidnapper was less likely to harm him if they connected on a more personal level and so he wracked his brains to think what he could talk to him about without getting the other man too agitated. "Look," he said eventually, keeping his tone even. "Is there any chance I could stand up for a bit? I broke my leg a few months ago and I'm not supposed to let it seize up. Plus I could really do with taking a whiz." There was another pause as the kidnapper seemed to mull this over as Dee waited with baited breath. He very much doubted there would be opportunity to escape but he knew that if he obeyed the kidnapper's every word then they could start to build up a bond of trust that might benefit him in the future.

"Okay," the voice said finally. "But if you try anything then I'll blow your brains out."

Dee sat perfectly still his captor came up close, the movement punctuated by the sound of chains being rattled. Something encircled his leg and Dee realised that a chain had been fastened around his ankle, no doubt attached to something large and immoveable as the kidnapper needed to remove the handcuffs in order for him to urinate. "Right, you can stand up," the voice announced, "but keep the blindfold on." Doing as he was told, Dee first flexed his arms, sore at being pinned behind him for so long, before he planted them on either side of his body in preparation to push himself up but just as he had suspected, his body had seized up and the movement was near impossible on his own. As he braced himself against the pillar for a second attempt, a strong pair of arms encircled his upper body and hauled him upright in one movement.

"Thanks," Dee said grudgingly, embarrassed by his own physical weakness as he stood on shaky legs. He listened as something metallic was placed in front of him on the cold concrete floor. "Here," his captor said, standing back slightly from whatever he had put in front of Dee. "There's a bucket directly in front of you. You can pee into that."

"I guess I'd better hope my aim's good," Dee replied flatly, using a small stab at humour to detract from his embarrassment at what he was about to do in front of a stranger. When he'd finished, he concentrated on flexing his stiffened leg muscles, wincing as his right leg began to throb beneath the brace. Ignoring the pain, he moved it back and forth as the physiotherapist had taught him for a couple of minutes until his captor said, "Okay that's enough. Sit back down where you were before." Dee followed the instructions, hoping his obedience would result in the kidnapper cutting him some slack but his hope faded to disappointment as the man re-secured his arms behind him like before.

"So you and your brother did the kidnapping for money right?" Dee asked, turning his head slightly as he tried to gauge exactly where the other man was after he'd finished handcuffing him. "We've all needed money at one time or another but kidnapping's a bit extreme isn't it?"

The response was a snort of derision. "If only it was as simple as money."

"If it's not about money, then what?" Dee replied, confused. "Have the De Lucas got something on you?"

"The De Lucas?" the man said suddenly, "You think they told us to do this? Shit, you are one dumb ass cop!"

Dee ignored the insult, hoping his captor wasn't going to stop now. "So tell me then? Who hired you to do the kidnapping?"

"Who hired us? Henry goddamned Goldsmith that's who!"

"_What?_" Dee spat, recalling the face of the anxious looking millionaire as he had begged for police protection. "That's crazy! Why the hell would he do that?"

"To make the De Lucas look bad. They knew about Goldsmith's offer for that company and were prepared to better it. Goldsmith had made a lot of crazy promises when he thought the deal was in the bag and when he found out the De Lucas were going to make an offer he couldn't beat he panicked. The kidnapping was his idea to force the De Lucas back into the shadows. If the general public perceived them as criminals then the sellers couldn't possibly deal with them for fear of damaging their own reputation."

Dee let out a deep breath, his mind processing this information and realising it wasn't as far-fetched as he'd first thought. _No wonder Goldsmith had been so keen to go public,_ he thought. "How'd you know so much?" he asked finally, hoping the kidnapper would enlighten him further. He was surprised when the man sighed, as if situation wearied him.

"My younger brother worked as a rent boy when our parents kicked us out. He always knew he was gay and he figured he may as well get paid for sex since he enjoyed it so much. That's when he met Henry Goldsmith," he said, speaking the last words with deep hatred. "Even though Goldsmith was practically an old man, my brother fell in love with him. Goldsmith never went with anyone but him and promised to take care of him beyond just paying for sex. He even told him he'd leave his wife when their children got older. Naturally my brother fell for his bullshit but when he confronted him about all the things he'd promised, Goldsmith just laughed in his face and told him to get out.  When he finally realised his sugar daddy had no intention of making good on his promises, he let me convince him to blackmail the lying bastard. As usual Goldsmith panicked and he said that if we agreed to help with this one last thing, he would ensure we'd never want for money ever again. I saw it as a job but I'm sure my brother hoped that Goldsmith would realise what he was about to lose and take him back."

Dee jumped as his captor threw something hard against the wall, which shattered somewhere off to his left. "That double crossing bastard!" he yelled murderously, "He deliberately went to the police so we'd get caught and then he wouldn't have to pay us. I guess an attempted kidnapping was as good as the real thing since he still managed to get so much publicity."

Dee didn't respond as his own anger rose within him. Goldsmith had used them to pull off a business deal he would otherwise have blown, giving no regard to the fact that either he or Ryo could have been killed if the would-be kidnappers had been armed. "So you think this is solving anything?" he said quietly, hoping that if he showed they both had reason to hate Goldsmith then they could develop a common bond that might help him out of this mess.

"Oh no," the other man replied, his anger showing no sign of subsiding, "I know what you're trying to do but it won't work! You deserved this shit! You fucking queers! If my brother hadn't been warped by the likes of you and that bastard Goldsmith then none of this would have happened!"

Dee bit his lip to prevent an angry response that would antagonise his captor further. He'd heard that opinion too many times and knew it was always spoken in anger and ignorance. "You don't _choose_ to be gay," he said calmly. "No one would knowing how much shit it can cause. You just love who you love."

"You're a liar!" the other man shouted, "It's not natural!"

Hearing the agitated footsteps pacing back and forth Dee opted for silence but his captor was too consumed by anger to calm down now and in a display of petulance and sheer hatred for the kind of lifestyle Dee represented, he brought his foot down hard on the detective's right leg; that one action instantly undoing the months of good work with the physiotherapist and sending the other into paroxysms of white hot agony as he screamed until his throat gave in.

TBC…


	6. Beware the Chimera

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 6 – Beware the Chimera

Two long and uneventful days had passed with no further word from the kidnapper. The investigation team were still hard at work but they'd had little in the way of breakthroughs other than the tests had come back, confirming the hair and blood found at the scene as Dee's. His colleagues, including Drake, Ted and JJ, remained supportive but Ryo was still finding it hard being in the office. Rose's constant presence didn't help matters, especially after their heated exchange when the third letter had arrived. He'd told Ryo he had consulted with 'the powers that be' as he referred to them to see if was feasible to release the suspect and drop the charges in exchange for Dee but was waiting to hear from them about their decision. The kidnapper had given them five days to cooperate and Ryo was acutely aware how quickly the time was passing. The suspect they had in custody was remaining tight-lipped, despite being constantly re-interviewed about the identity of his accomplice and so in the past forty-eight hours there had been little to cheer Ryo's leaden heart.

At home, Ryo busied himself with the evening meal as he waited for Bicky to get back. Anxious that someone could still try and snatch the boy he thought of as his son, Ryo had complained endlessly about Bicky making his own way home from school but had relented eventually when Bicky had remained defiant. '_Just like normal you said'_, the boy had argued. They ate together, making small talk about what Bicky had done at school until he went into his bedroom to start on his homework. Once the dishes were washed, Ryo found himself with little to do, so after phoning the station to check if there had been any progress with the investigation, he settled down in front of the T.V and began to flick through the channels, searching for something to watch that would keep his mind occupied for a couple of hours. He was dozing lightly when Bicky came out of his room to get a drink and say good night and he awoke with a start, realising the film he had started watching had long since finished and at some point, he must have muted the volume.

"Good night Bicky," he said before a yawn forced its way past his lips. As Bicky disappeared into his room, Ryo took up the remote to turn the television off when the sight of his own face up on the screen caused him to freeze. Quickly turning the sound back up, Ryo joined the news broadcast, which was fortunately just starting.

"Concerns are growing tonight for the partner of Detective Randy McLain, seen here, who was reportedly abducted following their involvement in the hunt for the potential kidnappers of the millionaire Henry Goldsmith and his family. So far, Commissioner Berkley Rose of the Twenty-Seventh Precinct had refused to confirm or deny these rumours but Detective Dee Latener has not been seen at work for several days following the arrest of one of the suspects."

Ryo went numb as the newscaster went onto to talk more about Henry Goldsmith and his publicly adored wife and family. How had they found out and what would the kidnapper do to Dee if he thought that the police had gone public? These terrifying thoughts were interrupted as the phone started to ring and Ryo snatched up the receiver; barking out a 'hello' as his eyes remained glued to the screen.

"Ryo? It's Drake," the voice at the other end of the line announced somewhat tentatively. "Are you watching the news?"

"Yes," Ryo replied, glad that it wasn't the kidnapper or Rose, as he felt unprepared to deal with either at that time. "What's going on Drake?" he asked wearily.

"I don't know," the other man replied. "Goldsmith can't seem to stay out of the news lately. Hell, he gets everywhere! I even bumped into him at the station a couple of days ago…"

Ryo frowned; recalling the silver car that had passed him in the parking lot after he had stormed out and realising that he _had_ seen it before. "Why would he be coming to the precinct?" Ryo mused, almost to himself before Drake answered.

"Who knows? But I sure as hell don't like him. He may be married to Helena Schwartz but I think there's definitely something dodgy about him."

The phone call ended soon after but Ryo had a hard time getting Drake's comments out of his head as he lay in bed some time later, his hand straying tentatively across to the spot that Dee would normally have occupied. Drake was a perceptive man but very rarely shared his observations with anyone else, leaving Ryo to wonder why he had felt the need to voice his concerns about Goldsmith. It was a long time before Ryo fell asleep and when he did, he was granted no respite as his mind thought constantly of Dee and wondering exactly what sort of hell his lover was enduring…

As morning dawned, Ryo awoke suddenly; his mind registering that _something_ had woken him but unsure what as the ebb and flow of the traffic was the only discernible sound. Surely that hadn't woken him? He'd lived with the ever present noise for most of his life and it had never bothered him before. Seeing that it was still early Ryo was about to settle down and hopefully go back to sleep when there was a knock at his bedroom door before it opened just a crack and Bicky stuck his head into the room.

"Uh Ryo?" he said, his anxious tone matching the expression on his youthful features. "Not that I want to worry you or anything but there's something going on outside."

Ryo immediately turned to the window before Bicky corrected him. "I mean outside our apartment."

Frowning as he threw back the covers, Ryo reached for his dressing gown and pulled it on before following Bicky out into the living room. Almost at once there was an insistent knock at the door.

"Be careful Ryo," Bicky said warily as his guardian went to answer it. Ryo nodded as he slipped the chain on and unbolted the door. He was greeted instantly by the flash of cameras and a barrage of questions from the eight or nine individuals that crowded into the hallway vying for the space nearest the door.

"Detective McLain!" One voice called out, "Is it true that Dee Latener, the missing police officer lives with you here?"

"Was Detective Latener kidnapped because of your close relationship?"

"Sir, are you and Detective Latener lovers?"

Ryo attempted to close the door but one of the reporters had jammed his foot against it. Seeing Ryo's struggle, Bicky rushed forward, almost knocking Ryo out the way as he pushed past him. "Look! Go bother someone else you big jerks!" he shouted through the gap as he stomped down on the journalist's foot causing the man to pull it away sharply with a cry of pain. With the door now free of obstructions Ryo and Bicky slammed it shut, simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief once the reporters were safely locked outside.

"Thanks," Ryo said gratefully, ruffling his adoptive charge's hair affectionately before his expression turned stormy. "What the hell is going on?" he muttered as the knocking started up afresh. Determined to get some answers, Ryo picked up the phone and called the station, firmly stating that he wanted to speak to Commissioner Rose personally. After a brief period spent on hold, the phone was answered, Rose's crisp tones taking over where the piped music left off. "Ryo? Is something the matter?" he asked, sounding truly concerned.

"I'd say so," Ryo replied. "First of all I see my face on the news again last night and now I've just been woken by a load of reporters banging on my door asking if me and Dee are lovers."

"What did you say?"

Ryo frowned into the phone, annoyed that Rose seemed more worried about what he might have said than the fact that someone was leaking information about the case to the press. "I didn't say anything," he snapped. "What's going on Commissioner?" Ryo asked, choosing his words carefully, knowing it irritated his superior when he refused to call him 'Berkley' as the older man preferred.

"I don't know Ryo but we seem to have a leak somewhere."

There was a pause before Ryo voiced his instincts. "Sir, I know he's an acquaintance of yours but mightn't it be Henry Goldsmith? After all, he did go to the press the first time."

"What makes you think it's him?" Rose asked sharply.

"Well with him being at the station again the other day…"

There was a pause and for a brief moment Ryo thought the phone had gone dead. "Commissioner?"

"I'm here," the other man said. "Look Ryo, I know you're under pressure but Henry wouldn't do that, not after all we've done for him and his family." There was another pause before Rose said, "I think you should stay home today Ryo."

Ryo's eyes widened. "Is that an order sir?"

The other man sighed. "It's advice but I _do_ order you to get some rest."

"Fine," Ryo replied in resignation, "I'll stay home but I want you to call if there are any breakthroughs."

"I will," Rose promised. "See you tomorrow and just ignore those reporters; they'll go away eventually."

Rose proved to be partly correct as the journalists outside his door ceased knocking and left soon after but for Ryo, it was little consolation as the story continued to dominate the television news throughout the day. Bicky had also stayed away from school, unusually with Ryo's blessing for fear that the reporters may turn up there and harass him into talking to them, and so the two of them spent most of the day on the couch, watching the news in horror as the media folk continued to dissect Ryo's private life with a perverse sense of glee at the unfolding saga.

By evening, the media attention had taken on a slightly less sympathetic attitude, with a late night discussion show holding a debate about whether the general public were happy being policed by homosexuals who, according to the over-excitable presenter, spent most of the time jumping into bed with one another instead of catching criminals. On another channel, and presumably sparked by the latest revelation that the homosexual detective had legal guardianship over a troubled youngster, a group of politicians and church men were debating the issue of allowing gays and lesbians to adopt and raise children. Unwillingly and unwittingly, Randy McLain had become a name synonymous with all these issues and the blond man could only watch in dismay as he was criticised, ridiculed and praised in equal measures. He was the champion of a cause and the downfall of decent society all rolled into one simply because of who he chose to love and, as he finally switched off the set and retired to bed, it left Ryo wondering just how much more he could take…

Dee awoke with a start, realising as his mind did a quick assessment of his state of wellbeing, that his descent into hell was almost complete. His leg was broken again; no doubt about that. His captor had known about the injury and had chosen to exploit it in a moment of anger. Every time Dee moved he had to endure the agonising sensation of his bones grating together beneath the brace that was now uncomfortably tight as the damaged limb had swelled, and on the first couple of occasions he had attempted to move it, the pain had been so great that he had vomited, providing him with a permanently unpleasant aroma that lingered beside his battered body. His dignity had also suffered a tremendous blow as he had found himself begging his captor for painkillers on more than one occasion, despite the fact that each time, his pleaded request was cruelly refused. Added to that, the wound on the side of his face continued to be excruciatingly tender, convincing Dee that infection had set in. The last time his captor had called to check on him, he had refused the food that was offered; not through stubbornness but because his stomach simply couldn't keep anything down. To make matters worse, in the last twenty fours hours he had started to develop a fever, his body drenched with sweat as his waking memories became increasingly muddled with his nightmares, which he fought off with diminishing success.

At first he'd been certain they were dreams; he knew he wasn't back at the apartment no matter how realistic his visions seemed. His heart ached as Ryo would walk in from the kitchen and smile at him, both love and lust sparkling behind his deep mahogany eyes as he came and sat beside him on the couch, their bodies entwined within a matter of seconds. Even his thoughts of Bicky were fond ones; images of the him and the boy playing video games or going to see the Knicks play flashed through his mind, cruelly reminding him how impossible those simple activities were at the moment. As the fever took hold, the images became more disturbing. He would be stood on the sidewalk, watching as Bicky rollerbladed on the opposite side of the road, before he noticed Dee and attempted to cross the road to join him. The vision would always end the same way; as Bicky skated across the street, a truck would appear from nowhere and before Dee could shout a warning, the lorry had deliberately hit the boy, sending his body into the air as his life ended in that split second. Dee couldn't even be sure whether he screamed or not.

But if that vision was terrifying, nothing came close to describing the illusion that proved most persistent in his agitated state. He would find himself back at the apartment, staring at the interior and recalling every little detail of the place that was now home; all the touches, so stylish but still so masculine reminding him of the man he loved. Standing alone, he would call for Ryo, wondering where his lover was before a cry of pain alerted him that there was someone in their bedroom. Rushing to the source of the noise, he would throw open the door to bear witness to a sight that made him wish he were blind. On the bed; _their_ bed where they expressed their love and desire for each other, a masked monster was claiming his lover in the most despicable way. As Dee came into the room Ryo would turn and look at him, large pain-filled eyes pleading for rescue as tears streamed down his porcelain-perfect cheeks. The intruder would also turn when Dee appeared, brandishing a weapon which he fired without hesitation. The bullet would enter Dee's neck, missing the vital arteries but severing his spinal cord, causing him to fall to the ground, his body instantly useless. Totally powerless, he was then forced to watch as his lover was violated again and again until the image finally faded, presumably when death claimed him.

His hallucinations became more frequent but in his moments of lucidity, Dee realised his captor was becoming increasingly agitated, presumably because the police weren't meeting with his demands. He swore at Dee and threatened him constantly; not just with what he would do to him, but with what he could do to Ryo or Bicky, if the mood so took him. He had already told Dee that he knew the address of their apartment and he taunted his hostage with updates of Ryo's comings and goings, leading Dee to the unpleasant conclusion that his lover could be harmed at any time. This constant verbal assault alongside his frightening hallucinations meant Dee was no longer sure what had happened and what was just idle threats. For all he knew, Ryo or Bicky could be dead or injured. The stress was taking its toll and that combined with his deteriorating physical condition meant his fighting spirit had almost run out; his resolve surviving only long enough to stop him breaking down until his captor had gone away again. However with his tears came self loathing; Ryo and Bicky could be in danger and he was helpless to do anything. Maybe they were better off without him he thought and so with self castigation the only thing to occupy his troubled mind, he was relieved when unconsciousness loomed again and snatched him into its unyielding abyss.

Even though the media interest showing no immediate sign of abating, Ryo insisted on going into work the day after the reporters had turned up at his door. There were a few journalists hanging around the precinct's main entrance who fired questions at him as he approached but he successfully ignored them and none dared follow him inside the station itself. Despite the fact that his mind and body were wearied through lack of sleep, he threw himself into the investigation having come to the conclusion that the only way to get through this nightmare was to have Dee back by his side. His efforts were eventually rewarded by the lab guys at the precinct agreeing to go over Dee's car again for any evidence they might have missed the first time round. By mid morning he was starting to feel a little more positive, a feeling further enhanced when he received a telephone call to say that some more fibres had been found on the back seat of Dee's car where the kidnapper was most likely to have hidden and the test results would be available first thing in the morning. That and the fact that he had successfully avoided Rose all day left Ryo with the faint hope that his, and more importantly Dee's fortunes were changing for the better.

He arrived back at his apartment mid-afternoon, knowing Bicky would be late home, intending to make the most of the time by taking a well deserved bath. He had decided that earlier in the day when his spirits had been lifted by the possibility of a new breakthrough but as he neared the home that felt so different without the man he loved in it, Ryo felt the fear and loneliness creeping over him, instantly snuffing out any trace of the more positive outlook that he had managed to cling to whilst in work. The final straw came when he stopped in the lobby to collect the mail and retrieved a letter addressed to Dee. It was a bill; nothing more than a plain, anonymous request for payment but the sight of his lover's name was enough to strip Ryo of the last vestiges of strength he had left. Tears blurring his vision, he hurried to the elevator, praying that when the doors opened there would be no one on the other side to see his pain. For once luck was with him and he reached his floor without encountering a single soul. He hurried from the elevator and down the corridor, rounding the last corner before he was greeted by the sight of someone waiting outside his door. He was about to call out, assuming the female was another reporter as the woman turned and revealed her identity, fortunately before the angry words had left his lips. Instead, he could only voice an exclamation of surprise.

"Aunt Elena!" he cried, the initial shock starting to wear off as he began to hurry towards her.

"Ryo," she replied as she started in his direction, her arms outstretched. She drew the blond man into a firm protective embrace when he was close enough and didn't let him go for several long moments. When she did, she pushed him back gently so she could see his face; the lines and dark shadows under his eyes concerning her deeply. "Why didn't you call? I saw the news…"

Ryo froze suddenly, his expression changing to one of deep anxiety. His aunt had seen the news… meaning she knew about him and Dee. Despite the fact that she had raised him after his parents had been killed, Ryo had never confided in her about his sexuality, therefore she had just found out possibly the most intimate thing about her own nephew from the prime time news. The realisation that another unexpected personal crisis had just loomed on his horizon was too much for the over-burdened detective and he broke, there and then on the landing, with his briefcase in one hand and Dee's bill in the other. For the moment Elena said nothing as she pulled him back into her sheltering embrace and held him there whispering words of comfort until his heart rending sobs subsided. Once his breathing had calmed, she let him go, holding her hands out for the keys to his apartment. "Come on," she said as he handed them over, "Let's go in and talk."

TBC…


	7. Expelling Jeremiah

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 7 – Expelling Jeremiah.

"Come on," she said as he handed them over, "Let's go in and talk."

Red eyed and sniffing back tears, Ryo nodded his head before following her inside the apartment. "I'll make tea," she said, heading straight to the kitchen as he put down his briefcase and took off his overcoat. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror above the fireplace and almost recoiled in horror at what he saw. What must his aunt think of him looking like this? While his guardian busied herself in the kitchen he tried to pull himself together, wiping away the stray tears and smoothing back his wavy dark blond locks. She came through into the living room shortly after carrying two steaming cups, which she placed on the coffee table before taking off her own coat.

"Thank you," Ryo said gratefully, taking up the cup she had placed in front of him and sipping the hot liquid slowly. Ignoring her own drink, Elena watched him carefully, seeing the pain and exhaustion etched into his handsome features.

"Like I said before, I saw the news," she said gently, not sure how to open the conversation any better way. "Is everything they were saying true?"

Ryo put the teacup down and raised his eyes to her. "Yes, my partner has been kidnapped… and yes, we _are_ more than just work colleagues." Elena nodded her head slowly, taking this information and processing it carefully. Ryo saw her expression and concluded that she was disappointed in him. "I'm sorry you had to find out like that," he said, ashamed that he had never told her personally. "I guess I just didn't know how to tell you and I didn't want to make you unhappy."

Elena's eyes widened as she reached across and took his hand. "Ryo, we'd _never_ think differently of you because you're gay. Granted, it was a bit of a shock to see you on the news but it doesn't change anything. We still love you because you're _you_. Gay or straight you're still the kind, warm hearted man that you were before, who's dealt with a lot in his life and come through it with tremendous courage."

Ryo looked up at her and smiled a grateful watery smile.  "Thank you," he said, relieved that she wasn't angry with him, "You don't know how much it means to have you say that right now."

She smiled in response, a slight chuckle escaping her lips as she recalled something. "We were only talking about you moments before you appeared on the news wondering if you'd be bringing some attractive young girlfriend to Carrie's wedding. I guess we now know better huh?"

Her statement earned her a small smile from her nephew and she gazed at him for a moment before her eyes lit on a photograph just behind his head. Seeing it, she stood, reached over him and plucked the framed picture off the set of drawers before sitting back down to study the image properly. It showed Ryo and Dee together, this time minus Bicky and Cal, looking as content and carefree as two people could possibly be. Ryo was smiling broadly into the camera, his dark eyes twinkling with joy as Dee's head was just slightly turned to gaze adoringly at his lover, his expression reflecting a similar level of happiness. Both men were soaking wet; rain running down their faces and drenching their clothes as Dee had his arm slung affectionately around Ryo's shoulders.

Ryo looked at the picture in his aunt's hands and smiled. "That was a good day," he said, recalling when the photo had been taken. "Dee took me out for the day for my birthday, surprising me with a champagne picnic but it rained solidly all day. He was so disappointed that his plans were messed up that we decided to do it anyway." He glanced back at the photo and laughed softly, thinking about the fun they'd had that day, irrespective of the poor weather. Elena mirrored his expression, unable to miss how in love they were, even in a still photograph. "I suppose it's pointless asking how you met since you work together," she said, setting the picture down on the coffee table, "but how did you actually get together as a couple?"

Ryo smiled. "I was partnered with Dee from the first day I started at the Twenty-Seventh Precinct. To be honest, I thought he was pretty obnoxious at first; he's always been tough and plain speaking and he told me soon after I met him that he liked me."

"So what did you do?"

"Nothing"

"Nothing?" she repeated in surprise.

Ryo shook his head and smiled again. "No. For two and a half years I did nothing." He paused and blushed suddenly. "We'd kissed a few times but other than that, I basically denied there was anything between us."

"So he pursued you for two and a half years?" Elena asked in disbelief. "And he never gave up?"

Again Ryo replied in the negative, still amazed himself that Dee had demonstrated such patience for so long.

"He must really love you," she said, looking back at the handsome dark haired man in the photograph. Ryo thought about it for a moment and nodded. "Yes he does and I love him too."

"I can see that," she replied, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before her expression turned serious. "And you're exactly what he'll need when this nightmare is over."

Ryo bit his lip, determined to keep back fresh tears. "It's been almost a week," he said fearfully, his voice barely audible. "What must he be going through?"

Seeing his defences threatening to crumble again, Elena put her arm around his shoulder and pulled him in close. "Try not to think about it," she said soothingly, "Just put your energies into finding him and when you have him back home, concentrate on making him feel safe and loved. You said he was tough, right?"

Ryo sniffed and nodded, his hand wiping away a stray tear. "Dee's as tough as they come," he said proudly.

"That's good," she replied before glancing at her watch and frowning. "I should get back," she said somewhat reluctantly, "Carrie is going for her first dress fitting tonight and I promised I'd go with her." She looked at him worriedly, studying his tired face. "Unless you need me to stay…"

The blond man shook his head, knowing she had at least a two hour drive ahead of her and not wanting to keep her from enjoying that special experience with her only daughter. "You go," he said, offering her a reassuring smile. "Bicky will be home later. He'll be sorry he missed you."

Elena returned the smile. "I'm glad you have Bicky," she said sincerely, "I'd hate the thought of you never being a father Ryo, you're so good with kids."

There was no malice in her words and Ryo took the compliment graciously as they both stood and Elena began to put on her coat. She started walking to the door and Ryo made to follow her before she paused and turned back to face him. "Oh Ryo?" she said, fastening the buttons on her long suede jacket, "You know it goes without saying that Dee's invited to Carrie's wedding with you and Bicky."

"Really?" Ryo replied, looking surprised. "I don't want to make things awkward for Carrie, it is her wedding day…"

"And _you're_ her cousin, although I guess you're more like her brother, you were so close growing up. Besides, she'll be dying to meet Dee, especially when I tell her how handsome he is."

Ryo smiled as he followed Elena out into the hallway. They walked down to the lobby together and out to her car, which she'd parked in one of the few bays at the front of the building. Seeing the familiar vehicle, Ryo realised what a daze he must have been in when he'd got home earlier, having walked straight past the car and not realised it was his aunt's. After embracing one last time, Elena unlocked the vehicle and was about to climb in when a group of young men passed by. Neither she nor Ryo paid much attention to them until their mutterings grew louder and eventually one called out, "Hey there's that fag cop off the news! Look guys, he's finally decided to get himself a girlfriend!" As they disappeared down the street, shrieking with laughter, Elena frowned and shook her head as Ryo blushed unhappily. "Ignore them Ryo," she said firmly, grasping his hand one last time. "There's no place in this world for ignorance."

Not wanting her to worry anymore, Ryo offered her a reassuring smile. "Thank you for coming Aunt Elena," he said gratefully. "I really appreciate everything you've said. Give my love to Carrie." He shut the car door and stood back as she started the engine. Before pulling away from the kerb, she wound down the window and leaned out. "Promise me you'll ring if you need me," she said firmly, staring straight at her nephew, determined to extract his solemn word from him before she left.

"Promise," he replied. "Safe journey home." As the car disappeared around the corner, Ryo ran a hand through his hair and blew out a long, deep breath before he headed back inside the apartment building determined to have that bath he'd promised himself earlier.

The unremarkable man in his mid twenties crouched behind the wall until the car, occupied by a teenage couple, disappeared around the corner. No one ever came round his current location anymore apart from high school students looking for somewhere to make out away from the prying eyes of their parents. Satisfied that the departed vehicle posed no threat, he stood and headed away from his hiding place, towards the chain link fence, which he scaled easily, and walked in the direction of the deserted buildings. Dusk had fallen, but the man had no difficulty finding his way, even in the half light. He'd made this journey every day for almost a week and he prided himself on knowing every single step. As he climbed through a window, the glass long since smashed, he listened intently for a sound that would warn him someone else had found his hiding place; he was confident that no one would, but vigilance was his watchword. The empty buildings were devoid of anything remotely edible so there were no rats around here to blame unexpected noises on.

He moved through several rooms, ducking a particularly large cobweb which threatened to tangle in his hair until he reached his destination. The room had at one time been an office, away from the main factory floor, although there was no furniture remaining that would testify to its former function. He had chosen this room because of the pillars that stood at each end the room; perfect for securing something, or in this case someone, that he wanted to remain unmoveable. The door wasn't locked, the key long since lost, but that was no matter. The person he had imprisoned in the room would have had to have been Houdini to even make it as far as the door.

Stepping inside the former office, the man could see that the spirit of the legendary escapologist was still very much dead as his captive remained slumped against the pillar at the far end of the room. The shackled man didn't stir as the other came into the room and closed the door behind him, finally flicking on the torch he had carried with him.

"Dear, dear," the man tutted as he surveyed his hostage, "If you don't mind me saying, you look like _shit_."

No response. Seeing it, he knelt down and slapped the blindfolded face a couple of times. Still nothing. He shone the torch over the other man's body, taking in his sweat-soaked clothes and grimy, fever-wracked skin, lingering on his chest for several moments to check that he was even still breathing. His right foot was at an odd angle to his body and the man knew he'd probably done the limb some serious damage when he'd jumped on it in that fit of temper. He frowned in disgust as the torch light lit on a large pool of vomit to the right of the man's body although he quickly realised that was not the only source of the unpleasant odour that assaulted his nose.

Sniffing like a hunting dog, he located the other smell and prepared to do some more investigation. Despite the fact that his hostage was very clearly unconscious, the man still dug his balaclava out of his pocket and put it on, the torch gripped between his knees as he completed the action. Once his identity was hidden, he knelt back down and began to untie the blindfold, the other man still showing no sign of waking even as his head was jolted around roughly. When he tried to pull the scarf away, he realised that the material was stuck to the broken skin on the man's cheek next to his eye, where he had punched him the first time his hostage had regained consciousness. Although wound wasn't particularly large, the revealed flesh looked putrid, as if necrosis was setting in and the smell that radiated from the wound was almost overpowering.

"Ugh, shit," the man growled as he put his hand to his nose to block out the stench. "That's fucking gross." He replaced the blindfold quickly, mainly to stifle the smell before he stood back and reassessed the situation. The deadline for the police to agree to his terms was tomorrow evening. They had already communicated, as he had instructed, that they were prepared to come to some arrangement in exchange for their detective's safe return and if they fulfilled their end of the bargain, then his survival was their problem as of tomorrow. Realising that the other wasn't going to regain consciousness to take the food and water he'd brought, he sat down on the floor, opened the pack of doughnuts and began to eat them himself. "Don't die yet," he warned, grinning at the lifeless body before him as he stuffed the last one in his mouth and tossed the empty carton over his shoulder. Dusting off his gloved hands, he stood and sauntered from the room, the welfare of the man behind him the furthest thing from his mind as he contemplated what they would do once his brother was released.

Ryo awoke to the ringing of the phone, his first coherent thought being that this was happening far too much lately. Groping for the handset next to the bed, he had barely put it to his ear before the voice at the other end forced him to full consciousness in a split second. "Ryo!" the voice practically yelled, the strong New York accent informing Ryo it was Drake, "We've got a lead! Get to the station quick, we might have found Dee!"

The words were music to Ryo's ears as he leapt from his bed and rushed to dress, trying desperately to remind himself that they hadn't found Dee for definite yet. As he shrugged himself into his shoulder holster he wished Drake had stayed on the phone long enough to give him more information about their new lead, so he could assess whether he had every right to be getting his hopes up. Once he was ready to leave, he woke Bicky and explained to the bleary eyed youth why he was leaving so early. His bright blue eyes had gone wide as he'd sat up and hugged Ryo hard; trying to give the man the support he desperately looked like he needed. "Bring that lunkhead home," he said as Ryo was about to leave, his attempt to lighten the mood with humour not quite meeting the seriousness in his eyes. Ryo nodded and closed the door, hoping he could give Bicky what he asked for.

It seemed to take forever to get to the station and, as he sat behind the wheel of his car watching the vehicles in front inch forward with agonising slowness, Ryo began to understand why Dee got so impatient when he was on the road. "Come on, come on," he muttered, thumping the steering wheel to vent his frustration. On his left, a side street was approaching, unfortunately signposted 'no entry'. Every time they passed that sign on the way to work, Dee would moan loudly about how irritating it was that the road was a one-way street, especially since the other end of the road would bring them out right near the precinct. Occasionally he would threaten to drive up it; his green/grey eyes flashing mischievously as Ryo lectured him on setting a good example to the general public and so on but as far as Ryo was aware, his dark haired lover had never made good of his threat. He tried to decide then whether Dee would have been proud or horrified as he wrenched the wheel to the left and accelerated past the 'no entry' sign to a chorus of outraged horns, relieved that there was no traffic heading his way as he completed the illegal manoeuvre.

He raced into the station and up to his office on the fourth floor to find Drake and several other detectives already there. JJ, Drake informed Ryo, was also due to arrive any time soon as he had been woken by the early morning phone call too. Although JJ was part of the team, Ryo couldn't bear to wait until the younger man arrived to find out why they'd all been called in so early. Sensing Ryo's impatience, Drake produced an evidence bag and handed it to the anxious looking blond. "Forensics found this in the back seat of Dee's car. It's some rope fibres that seem to have been manufactured in a pretty unique way. See the red line?" he said, pointing to something that Ryo could barely make out. "It's kinda like a signature that would make the brand recognisable. Anyway, we tracked down the manufacturer, Monterey-McGillis here in New York to get a list of distributors so we could start trying to find out who sold that rope but we found out something far more interesting." Ryo looked up from the fibres and quirked an eyebrow as Drake sat down opposite him. "The manufacturer went bust several months ago, leaving their factory and headquarters vacant. Apparently they occupied a large site over on the east side, which as far as we can tell, is fairly isolated, making it a perfect place to keep someone hostage for a fairly long period of time. The last security patrols left with Monterey-McGillis and there are no houses nearby, so no one would notice any strange comings and goings. From what we can gather, the buildings are in pretty poor shape."

Before Ryo could formulate one of the dozens of questions flying around in his head, the door opened and JJ stepped into the office, looking much like Ryo with his crumpled shirt and uncoordinated tie, obviously chosen in haste after receiving the phone call that morning. "Is everyone here?" Ryo asked, surveying the assembled men. When he received a nod of affirmation from Drake, he stood quickly, anxious not to waste anymore time. "Then let's go."

TBC…


	8. The Sword of Damocles

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 8 – The Sword of Damocles

Nobody dared argue with Ryo that they should have formulated their plan of action before they left the station; it was all done over the radios in the cars as they raced across town towards their intended destination. In a brief moment of reflection as he sat in the passenger seat of an unmarked police car, Ryo thought about the encounter he had had with the chief as they had prepared to leave the precinct. He had emerged from his office as they were about to set off, going straight to Ryo and placing a supportive hand on his shoulder in a sensitive gesture which was highly unusual for their plain speaking chief. "Go find him Ryo," he said, his small, wrinkle-framed eyes twinkling with sincerity. They had both turned to see Rose stood in the doorway, watching the encounter closely. Instead of saying anything he merely nodded in agreement of the chief's sentiment before he turned and went back into his office, closing the door behind him.

With another twenty officers for backup, they were confident they would be able to swarm the place, locating hostage, suspect or both with the minimum of fuss and risk to their men. Everyone was keyed up; even those that didn't know Ryo or Dee particularly well. The kidnapping of a police officer was like a personal insult to anyone on the force and all involved in this particular operation were determined to do their best and bring one of their own home to safety, whilst hopefully bringing the perpetrator to justice at the same time.

They arrived at the self contained premises; a set of bolt cutters making short work of the heavy chains around the main gates. It was a bright and sunny day but all the officers were given torches, knowing the brilliance of the sun wouldn't penetrate the buildings since most of the windows were boarded up. Ryo shivered as he surveyed the place, not sure whether he wanted Dee to be here after all. Of course he wanted to find him, but he had hoped that Dee would be being kept somewhere a little more hospitable than this. Splitting into parties to search the many different buildings more quickly, they each took a radio, agreeing the call signs for if they came across either suspect or hostage so the other teams could react accordingly. Ryo was leading a team with two other detectives he didn't know particularly well and three other uniformed officers, all of whom regarded the blond man warily, knowing that out of everyone present, he was likely to react the worst if the outcome of the searches was not good. Sensing their unease, Ryo wished he'd been teamed up with Drake, Ted or even JJ, so at least his companions would have some idea what he was going through as he prepared to hunt for his lover, held prisoner for almost a week.

Ryo's team were assigned to checking several of the smaller buildings not far from the main gates. Heading first for the security guard's hut, they surveyed the simple edifice from the outside before breaking down the door and rushing inside, their weapons drawn. The sparse contents of the room were covered in a thick layer of dust and the men began to cough as the musty air found its way into their lungs. Moving onto the other buildings, the search procedure was repeated several times, each resulting in them emerging, slightly dustier and empty handed every time. They were poised to kick down the door of a small storage shed when the radio at Ryo's hip flared into life and Drake's voice leapt out into the already tense atmosphere.

"Ryo!" he yelled, his voice crackling as he abandoned any of the agreed call signs. "Get over to the main building, we've found Dee!"

Ryo looked torn, knowing his duty was to finish the searches of the remaining structures in case the suspect was there but desperate to get to Dee and check he was okay. His agonising was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Detective Johnson, an older man with a well-worn complexion, smiling at him sympathetically. "You go," he urged the blond, "We'll finish up here."

Ryo nodded gratefully, handing him the radio before he set off at a sprint towards the building Drake had indicated. He found the door where the officers had forced entry, clicked on his torch and ran inside, pausing quickly to determine where the sound of voices was coming from. The urgency in their tones scared him and he started to run, pushing his body harder than ever before as he rushed to find his lover and see with his own eyes that Dee was okay. He found the room as a uniformed officer was coming out, the two men's eyes meeting only briefly before the cop looked away, not wanting to communicate to Ryo what he had seen in there. His avoidance of eye contact was enough to heighten Ryo's fears and he surged into the room and towards the group of people at the far end. Hearing the approaching footsteps, the men turned and all at once, Drake was upon him, preventing him from advancing any further. "Ryo…" the younger man appealed, knowing what he was trying to do was useless.

"Let me go Drake!" Ryo yelled, struggling against the other man's grip, "Dee, are you okay?"

He escaped Drake's hold and pushed through the assembled men, the sight that greeted him as he went beyond them bringing him to his knees in horror. It was strange seeing Dee in the dark red shirt and charcoal grey tie that he had been wearing when Ryo had said goodbye to him almost a week ago. It was almost as if those intervening days had never occurred but they had, and Dee had clearly paid the price for them. Five days worth of facial hair added to his dishevelled appearance, completed by his grimy clothes and the dried blood on his skin.

"Dee!" Ryo cried, his hands moving to touch the slumped and shackled body in front of him as it leaned forward precariously, held in place by the handcuffs which kept him chained to the pillar. "Dee, can you hear me?" On gaining no response, Ryo turned, his anxious dark eyes meeting with Drake's sympathetic ones. "The paramedics are on the way and Anders has gone to get the bolt cutters so we can free him," Drake said solemnly as Ryo turned his attention back to Dee, taking in the chain around his ankle and the handcuffs on his wrists. The manacles on his arms were bloodied and the skin around them raw, making Ryo realise how desperate Dee must have been to have struggled vainly against them and ultimately cause himself so much damage. In his current position with his arms bent awkwardly behind him, the steel was cutting further into his wrists so Ryo pushed his body upright, taking the dead weight of his lover in his arms.

"Why haven't you taken the blindfold off?" Ryo said angrily, as he reached up and prepared to do the only thing he could to help Dee before the cutting equipment arrived. His hands were at the knot as Drake shouted at him to stop. "We already tried to take it off," the other man explained before he added more gently, "but there's a wound underneath it that I don't think we should disturb. Can't you _smell_ it?"

Ryo paused and sniffed, causing the disgusting odour to fill his nostrils. He recoiled instantly, just managing to stop himself vomiting. It smelt like _death_. "Oh God Dee," Ryo moaned quietly, wishing he were alone, rather than having ten pairs of eyes watching his every movement. Feeling utterly helpless, he sat and cradled Dee's limp body until the sound of approaching feet caught his attention and he turned, relieved to see the officer that had passed him in the doorway returning with the bolt cutters. Drake took them from him and knelt down behind Dee and the pillar.

"Have you got hold of him?" Drake asked Ryo as he positioned the cutters on the chain that joined the handcuffs.

Ryo nodded grimly; bracing himself for Dee's body to slump forward suddenly. As soon as the unconscious detective's wrists were free, Drake started on the chain around his ankle as Ryo laid Dee on the ground, using his coat which he shrugged off to support the other man's head. At the sound of voices approaching, Ryo craned his neck to see two paramedics jogging towards the group, clutching their equipment bags and a folded up stretcher between them. The police officer that had guided them to the room had explained briefly what was going on, although both knew about the kidnapping from the news. The older grey haired man knelt down beside Ryo as his companion began to unfold the stretcher and remove the necessary provisions. "Okay son," he said addressing Ryo gently, "Just give me a little space so we can work on him. It's Dee right?"

Ryo nodded, not trusting his voice to provide a verbal response as he reluctantly shuffled back and away from his lover. He watched numbly as the paramedic leaned in and shook Dee's shoulder gently. "Dee? Can you hear me? My name's Andy and I'm a paramedic." Getting no response, he watched Dee's breathing for a moment before he felt for the carotid pulse under Dee's jaw line after seeing the broken handcuffs and the bloody mess of his wrists. "He's got a pulse but it's pretty weak," he said, turning and addressing his companion who was in the process of unpacking an oxygen mask. "Get me some fluids too," he said as he pinched the skin on one of Dee's hands and noted a response that indicated dehydration.

"There's a wound on his face that seems infected," Ryo said, feeling like he ought to do something. The older man gazed at his pale and worried face and nodded. "We'll worry about that at the hospital but thanks for telling us," he answered kindly as his colleague came forward and began to attach Dee to an IV. As they were about to lift him onto the stretcher, the older paramedic noticed Dee's leg, resting at an angle nature would not normally allow.

"That's definitely broken," he stated, touching the limb gently as Ryo's eyes registered yet another piece of damage to his already battered lover and his heart sank with the knowledge that the months of physical therapy would have to start all over again. That of course, was providing he survived what other injuries had been inflicted on him over the last five days.

The two paramedics worked quickly and professionally and before long, they had Dee on the stretcher and ready to leave. As they prepared to take him away, Ryo suddenly looked frightened until Drake laid a hand on his shoulder and said, "Come on, I'll take you to the hospital. We can be there as quickly as them." Ryo's eyes seemed to focus and he nodded, allowing Drake to lead him away and out of the building, following in the wake of his unconscious lover and his carers. The drive to the hospital was conducted in near silence, Ryo lost in his thoughts and Drake unsure what he should say that might offer solace to the fretful detective. Dee _had_ looked in a bad way and the 'don't worry, he'll be fine' cliché seemed inappropriate until the doctors at the hospital had had chance to assess his condition properly. They arrived just after the ambulance; Drake driving round to the main doors to let Ryo out before he went to find a parking space, promising Ryo he'd return as soon as possible. The blond man went inside and was directed to a small waiting area, decked out with plastic hard-backed chairs, several racks of dog-eared magazines and a coffee machine that on closer inspection was out of coffee. He'd sat there for several moments, not engaging any of the other anxious faced visitors before Drake appeared, pocketing the car keys and sitting down in the seat next to Ryo. "What've they said?" he asked as Ryo continued to stare blankly at a spot on the floor.

"Not much," the other man replied. "They told me to wait here and as soon as the doctor has seen Dee, they'd come and tell me how he is." There was a pause before Ryo looked up suddenly, his dark eyes filled with anguish. "He looked awful Drake. What if…"

"Hey," Drake said soothingly, laying his hand on Ryo's arm. "Don't think like that. He's safe now and in the best possible hands."

Ryo nodded, trying to rein in his turbulent emotions as Drake offered to find them something to drink while they waited. Doubting he could stomach even a small amount of liquid Ryo declined Drake's offer, watching as the other man went in search of a caffeine fix for himself, before he returned to staring at the floor. Several minutes had passed before the door opened, and Ryo looked up expecting to see Drake clutching his steaming prize but instead he was greeted by Commissioner Rose who hurried towards him, his expression serious. "What's Dee's status?" Rose asked, coming to sit in the chair Drake had vacated minutes earlier.

"I don't know sir," Ryo replied, sitting up slowly, "We haven't been here long but they said they'd come and find me as soon as there was any news."

"Okay," Rose said, readjusting his glasses and offering the younger man a reassuring smile.  "I'm sure someone will be along soon."

Rose's statement proved to be incorrect as the minutes dragged into hours. Eventually Drake had to leave to return to where they'd found Dee in the hope of finding clues as to his kidnapper's identity. Knowing Ryo's uneasiness at being around Rose, Drake looked a little reluctant to leave but the tired looking blond assured him, when Rose had gone to the toilet, that he would be fine. Not long after Drake had left, a nurse came into the room and headed over to the two policemen, recognising Rose from his many public appearances. "You're here about Detective Latener?" she said, smiling kindly at Ryo when she realised why his face was also familiar. "This way please."

The two men followed her up stairs and down endless blank corridors until they reached the critical care ward on the first floor. Unlike the other wards where the staff had tried to keep the place looking hospitable with flowers in vases and pictures on the walls, there was nothing in the stark white-washed landscape to offer any comfort for those unfortunate enough to be there. The décor was as simple as the purpose of this place; pretty pictures have no part in saving lives it seemed to say. She took them into a room; a smaller, more well maintained waiting area than the one they'd just left. Ryo couldn't help but think how many times this room must have been used to break bad news to grief-stricken families and the thought of it made his heart ache.

Rose watched him carefully as he made his way over to the couch and sat down, the numb look in his dark eyes never showing any sign of dissipating. His heart and his libido wanted him to go over there too and put his arms around the other man but his brain sensibly reminded him to give Ryo some space. The younger man was already wary of his superior and now wasn't the time to risk increasing that ill-feeling. Rose was about to take the chair opposite Ryo when the door opened and a tall middle-aged man stepped in, his white coat worn over his suit and tie identifying him as a doctor. Ryo immediately stood before the doctor smiled and gestured for him to take his seat as he came and sat down too.

"Commissioner Rose," he said, holding out his hand to the well-known head of police. "My name is Dr Sims and I'm the doctor overseeing your detective's care."

Rose nodded as he shook his hand warmly. "Pleased to meet you Dr Sims. This is Detective McLain. He's Detective Latener's partner."

Ryo took his turn, shaking hands with the older man, his smile of greeting never quite masking the anxiety written across his features as he watched as the doctor's eyes return to wander across the notes he'd brought with him. "Well Commissioner Rose, Detective McLain, I'll be straight with you. Your colleague is one extremely poorly man but that said, we're hopeful that we've managed to stabilise his condition."

"Which is…?" Rose asked, glancing at Ryo and seeing the question in his eyes too.

The doctor looked at their grave expressions and nodded, knowing they would want all the details. "Detective Latener is showing advanced signs of infection, most likely from the wound near his left eye. We've treated it straight away but it will probably be several hours before we know whether the infection has got into his bloodstream."

"And if it has?" Ryo asked suddenly.

The doctor sighed. "Sepis is very difficult to treat and can prove to be fatal but we're optimistic that we may have caught it before it's reached that stage. Unfortunately, all we can do now is sit back and wait and hope the treatment is successful."

Ryo's eyes squeezed shut as the pain in his heart intensified. He barely heard Rose asking if there were any other things they should know about Dee's condition.

"Well he's dehydrated and his right leg is broken. The wound on his face will probably need reconstructive surgery but other than that it's mostly superficial wounds." The doctor paused for a moment as he tapped his pen thoughtfully on the case notes. "Am I right in thinking this is the detective that was taken hostage almost a week ago?" Rose nodded as Ryo lifted his head up from his hands. "Well you may want to consider some counselling for him as he recovers. He looks like he's had a pretty rough time and sometimes the psychological scars take longer to heal than the physical ones." He stood slowly and turned to address Ryo directly. "Recovery from something like this is a long, hard road. He's going to need you more than I think you realise," he said not unkindly as he headed for the door.

"Dr Sims?" Ryo said before the other man could leave. "Is there any chance I could see him?" He met the doctor's gaze, his own dark eyes pleading.

The medic paused before he nodded; a sympathetic smile on his mature features. "I don't see why not, but I'm afraid you can't stay too long." Grateful to be given any time with the man he hadn't seen for almost a week, Ryo followed the doctor out of the waiting room, leaving Rose alone to relay the news of Dee's condition to his colleagues at the precinct.

The room that the doctor took him to was as blank as the corridors that led up to it. The medicinal smell that Bicky had balked at when Dee had been in hospital before Christmas was particularly strong as he entered the private room, but he ignored it as he closed the door quietly behind him so they could finally be alone. The bed Dee lay in was surrounded by masses of equipment, most of which Ryo observed was monitoring his gravely ill lover. He was breathing unaided, but the heart monitor was in use; its rhythmic beeping a somewhat comforting sign that although Dee looked at death's door, his vital organs were still putting up a courageous fight for survival. Tubes ran into his arms and up his nose, pumping vital nutrients around his battered body.

He was unconscious; his body unmoving as he lay with his arms resting lightly across his chest. The handcuffs had been removed and both wrists were bandaged, although one was slightly spotted with blood from where the limb had been rubbed raw. The wound on the side of his face had been dressed with a clean white bandage in the hope that any further infection would be prevented and his eyes were also covered by two pads of gauze, which in reaction to Ryo's shocked expression, the doctor had explained were to help Dee's eyes reacclimatise to the light. Knowing the condition he'd been found in, the medical staff had thought it wise to protect his sensitised eyes for when he awoke.

"Oh Dee," Ryo said sadly as he found a chair and placed it next to Dee's bed. "I'm so sorry it took so long to find you." He wanted nothing more than to hold the unconscious man in his arms; to feel his heartbeat and know he hadn't given up on life, but instead he reached out and gently pushed some of his dishevelled ebony locks away from his face. "I love you Dee," he said quietly, his voice wavering as it threatened to break. "Please don't leave me."

A tear slowly rolled down his cheek, which he neglected to wipe away. "I can't be without you now Dee. I _need_ you." Gently he laced his fingers with Dee's; needing some physical connection as he lowered his head and started to cry, his sobs barely audible over the sound of the machinery. Lost in his grief, he stayed that way for several long moments until he became aware of the door opening behind him.

"Ryo?" Rose said tentatively, his stance somewhat awkward as he intruded on this tender moment. "The doctor says we have to leave now." Hastily wiping away his tears, Ryo turned and nodded his agreement, relieved when Rose closed the door again so he could say goodbye in private.

"I'll be back very soon," he promised the unconscious man before he leaned in and gently kissed the moisture-starved lips. "I love you Dee. Please keep fighting." As he went to leave, he turned back suddenly hoping there would be some movement; some _indication_ that Dee had heard his appeal not to give up, but there was none. Wherever Dee was at that moment, it was too far away for him to be influenced by a voice from the living world, no matter how impassioned the plea.

TBC…


	9. Achilles’ Heel

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 9 – Achilles' Heel

Knowing he couldn't stay by Dee's side whilst he was in Critical Care, Ryo decided the next best thing was to throw himself into work to bring the person that had done this to his lover to justice. Rose drove them back to the precinct in his sleek black BMW, glancing across at Ryo every so often, concerned by the other man's silence. As he calmly negotiated the early afternoon traffic, his mind thinking ahead to the inevitable press conferences that would follow this morning's turn of events, he was surprised when Ryo broke his silence and spoke suddenly.

"Sir?"

As they stopped at the traffic lights, Rose took the opportunity to look at Ryo, noting the serious expression behind his dark eyes. "What is it?"

Ryo faltered as he chose his next words carefully. "If… if we hadn't have found Dee this morning then what would we have done?"

The question hung in the air for several long moments, ominously waiting to be answered. Rose could feel Ryo's stare as he prepared his response but when he turned to look at the blond man, the hope he saw in those dusky orbs made him re-evaluate what he was going to say. "With the kidnapper giving us five days to make our decision I was always confident that we'd find Dee but if that hadn't happened…" Rose took a deep breath. "Then we'd have had no choice but to meet with his demands." The commissioner paused again as he pulled out of a busy junction. "I know you think I don't think much of Dee but I wouldn't have let him down."

In his seat Ryo nodded, satisfied by Rose's answer. "Thank you Sir. I just needed to know." Rose heard the other man sigh wearily and he glanced across to see him massage his temples with slender fingers. "I just hope all our efforts haven't been in vain."

Rose knew what Ryo was saying and he wasn't sure how to respond having been in the same room when the doctor had explained just how ill Dee was. In the end he replied, "Stay strong Ryo", knowing it wasn't much but not able to think of anything better.

They headed up to the offices on the fourth floor when they arrived at the station, passing fellow officers who smiled or said 'well done' to Ryo, having heard about the outcome of the morning's search. With a thin smile of his own, Ryo acknowledged their support, wishing that he was able to say that Dee would be fine and everything was okay again but not wishing to tempt providence with his words.

Drake opened the door as Ryo and Rose approached, his expression indicating he was anxious for an update of Dee's condition. Rose had phoned from the hospital to give a brief outline of the situation but it was clear that all those that knew Dee were waiting for more as conversation ceased when Ryo appeared. The last thing he wanted as he viewed the sea of expectant faces was to talk about Dee and how his life was hanging in the balance but they cared about him too and wanted to know.

"Ryo?" JJ said, rushing forward and clasping the other man's hand. "Is there any news?"

Smiling gratefully at the other man's gesture of support, Ryo shook his head. "I'm afraid not, but he's fighting." JJ nodded and took a deep breath as he let go of Ryo's hand and stepped back so the blond could come into the office. Sat and stood around the desks were most of the investigation team including Drake and Ted, all now looking even more determined to find the person that had hurt one of their colleagues so badly. As Rose left to go to his own office, the team began to brief Ryo on what they had learnt from the location Dee had been found at. "Seems the guy was pretty careful," Drake said, handing Ryo a copy of their preliminary report. "No finger prints on any of the stuff we found at the scene. Even old food cartons we found were clean. But we've got a team staking out the place if he comes back."

"What about the suspect we have in custody?" Ryo asked, scanning the type written page as he spoke. "Maybe we'll get more from him if he knows the game is up." He glanced up to see Ted shaking his head somewhat despondently. "We tried that already. He's still saying nothing."

Ryo sighed deeply as he sank into the nearest chair, massaging his temples as his headache intensified. "How can we have someone in custody and know _nothing_ about them at all?" He looked up at the men around him to be met by equally frustrated expressions. "No previous record… hell, we don't even know his name!" The others looked surprised by Ryo's show of anger although they understood exactly where the emotion was coming from. Every time they'd tried to extract information from the sullen-faced young man, they'd been met by stony silence to the point where he refused to give the frustrated officers his name or even confirm that he understood the terms of his arrest. As his fingerprints returned no information on him, his identity remained a mystery.

Suddenly out of the silence that had descended, Ryo said, "I'm going to interview him." He stood and went to the door, looking back at the other men almost challenging them to try and dissuade him. His colleagues exchanged worried glances before Drake stood too and headed over to where Ryo was. "I'll second you," he said quietly, his own expression indicating that he would not have it any other way. Ryo paused, seemingly weighing up whether it was worth the argument before he backed down and said, "Fine."

The two men left the office and headed down to the custody floor in silence. As they neared the main doors that led to the corridor where the holding cells were situated, Drake caught hold of Ryo's arm before he could key in the code. "Stay cool Ryo," he said calmly, hoping it sounded more like advice than a warning. For a moment Ryo seemed to bristle before he decided to take the words the way Drake had intended them. He nodded his acquiescence as Drake's hand dropped away, allowing him to open the door and continue to their destination. As he walked along just behind the blond detective, Drake couldn't help but think that Ryo was in the wrong frame of mind for what they were about to do. Normally Ryo could be relied on for remaining unflappable even with the most difficult of suspects but this time Drake feared, things were much too personal for Ryo to stay objective.

They completed the necessary paperwork to say they were removing a suspect from a cell for interviewing purposes before the desk sergeant took them to the correct cell and unlocked the door. The suspect was lounging on the uncomfortable metal frame bed, looking as if he was enjoying a stay at the Hilton when the detectives entered. His demeanour was clearly designed to annoy his captors and it seemed to be working as Ryo barked, "Get up now," in a tone far more aggressive than Drake had ever heard him use before. The suspect did as he was told, shooting a sneer at both men as he allowed Ryo to handcuff him and lead him from the cell. They entered the interview room, Drake guiding the suspect to his seat as Ryo connected up the tape recorder, his dark eyes barely leaving the face of the arrogant youth across from him.

He was a handsome young man, roughly around nineteen years of age with deep brown hair and eyes and a lightly tanned complexion. He was so attractive that Ryo couldn't help but think he could have made a better life for himself on his looks than he seemed to have achieved so far, seeing as he was under arrest on suspicion of attempted kidnapping. The blond detective sat down and turned the recorder on as Drake took the seat next to him, the other detective's anxious gaze flicking constantly between the two men in the room, unable to miss the animosity that surged between them.

"Tape recording commenced at fourteen hundred hours. Present Detectives Parker and McLain of the Twenty-Seventh precinct interviewing suspect, identity unknown." Ryo spoke the words in a clear, authoritative tone before he fixed the suspect with a stony stare. "As you are aware, you have been arrested and placed in custody for the attempted kidnapping of Henry Goldsmith Senior and his family. Do you wish to refute these allegations?"

Silence.

"Let the records show the suspect did not respond to the question non-verbally either."

"Were you hired to kidnap the Goldsmiths by the De Luca family or someone associated with them?"

Silence.

Ryo scratched a spot on the table as if he couldn't care less, despite the fact that he wanted to reach across and punch the suspect until he stopped moving. "Let the records show that the suspect has again chosen not to respond."

Several more questions followed, each provoking the same response, or lack of it, from the suspect. Even when they informed the youth that Dee had been found and there was no bargained chip to guarantee his freedom, the other didn't flinch. Eventually, Ryo reached across and stopped the tape recorder, his dark eyes blazing with frustration. "My partner may die because of you," he growled through gritted teeth as Drake stood, pushed his chair under the table and turned away to unplug the machine from the wall, glad that the interview was finally over.

"So? Shit happens I guess…"

Surprised to hear the suspect finally speak, Drake spun round just as Ryo launched himself across the table and dragged the smaller man towards him by the throat. "You _will_ care," he hissed into the face he hated so much, "if anything happens to him, I swear you'll pay."

"Ryo!" Drake yelled, trying to pry the detective off the other man and make him see sense before he did something he'd regret. They struggled for almost twenty seconds, the suspect able to do very little with his hands cuffed behind him as Ryo shook him like a rag doll. Eventually Ryo let him go, shoving the suspect hard as he released his grip, sending him crashing to the floor as he became entangled with his chair. Drake caught hold of Ryo's arm again, fearful that he was about to attack the other man again.

"Ryo!" he said firmly, "Just go. I'll sort this out."

Breathing heavily, his eyes still flashing with anger, Ryo stared at the floored suspect for a moment before he nodded his reluctant assent. He was almost at the door before he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Drake who looked at him sadly. "Go home or go back to the hospital Ryo," he said gently. "We can manage here."

On the verge of tears, Ryo nodded gratefully. "Okay, but ring me if you find anything out."

"Likewise," Drake replied as he ushered Ryo out of the door before turning his attention back to the suspect.

Ryo headed back up to his office in a daze. "What the hell am I doing?" he muttered to himself before he heard someone approaching behind him. Like a flash, his 'coping' face was back in place as the uniformed police woman smiled in greeting. "Are you going up to the fourth floor?" she asked the handsome blond. When he nodded, she held out a sheath of papers to him. "Could you pass these on to Commissioner Rose then? He left them with Lucy downstairs but she wasn't sure what he wanted her to do with them and his phone's permanently engaged." She rolled her eyes but then smiled when Ryo agreed to take them, handing over the documents before she turned and went back down the corridor. He reached the fourth floor, intending to take the papers to Rose before collecting his coat and briefcase but was distracted when one of the detectives on the investigation team that he didn't know particularly well began to press him on how the interview with the suspect had gone. Flustered and anxious not to talk about what had just happened, Ryo threw the papers into his briefcase with his own documents, made his excuses and left. Drake was right; he needed to get away from work for now.

Back at his car, Ryo debated where he should go. Home was so empty whilst Bicky was at school but sitting in the waiting room at the hospital wasn't particularly appealing either. He was about to climb into the vehicle when he heard his name being called and he turned to see Ted hanging out of one of the fourth floor windows. "RYO!" he yelled, seeing the man was about to leave "The hospital's just rung, Dee's regained consciousness!"

Ryo's eyes widened as he launched himself into the car and started the engine. Wheels span as he floored the accelerator before the car found its purchase on the tarmac and it shot out of the parking lot and onto the street. Fortunately the traffic was fairly light as Ryo raced back to the hospital, overwhelmed with feelings of guilt that he hadn't been there when Dee had awoke. His anger intensified as he thought of the interview with the suspect and he cringed inwardly at how unprofessionally he'd acted. He knew Drake would smooth things over but he was angry that he had put his colleague in such a position. Maybe Rose had been right about the case being too close to home…

He abandoned his car in the parking lot at the hospital and sprinted towards the main doors like a man possessed, ignoring the receptionist on the main desk as she looked up from her computer to address him. Too impatient even to wait for the elevator, he raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time until he reached the appropriate floor that he had left a mere matter of hours ago. Seeing a nurse approaching he rushed towards her before she could disappear into one of the side rooms, her expression one of surprise at the flustered looking man hurrying towards her.

"Dee Latener," he panted as he stopped in front of her, gulping in huge amounts of air to refill his overworked lungs, "the detective that was brought in this morning. You phoned to say he was awake, can I see him?"

Quickly processing everything the harassed man told her, the nurse directed him towards the waiting room. "If you'll take a seat, I'll go and find Dr Sims."

"Thank you," Ryo replied gratefully as he did as he was told and went to sit in the appropriate location. As he waited for the doctor to arrive, he allowed himself to experience a moment of calm as the relief washed over him. Dee was awake already! He now had to put his efforts into bringing his lover back to full health. His dutiful carer fantasy was interrupted as the door opened and the physician stepped into the room, acknowledging Ryo with a quick nod of the head. "Detective McLain?" he said, recalling the other's name. "I wasn't expecting you back."

"I was told Dee was awake and I thought he might need me." He lowered his head suddenly, as if ashamed by what he was about to say. "To be honest I feel very guilty that I didn't stay and wait for him to regain consciousness."

The doctor smiled as he shook his head. "There was no telling when he'd come round," he replied reassuringly before his expression grew serious. "But I'm afraid it's not as straightforward as you might think. He's still very ill and the hyperthermia caused by the infection is making him quite disorientated. He pulled some of the tubes out of his arms and was lashing out at the nurses so we had to sedate him after you left before. He's probably coming round again about now."

Ryo looked worried and made to stand up; needing to see Dee that instant, but the doctor caught his arm. "You can stay with him," the older man said, "But I warn you that he may not realise it's you so don't be surprised if he's aggressive towards you."

Ryo looked as if he was about to dispute the medic's words; to say that he knew Dee and that he would never react like that before he nodded his understanding, reluctantly accepting the other's advice. The two men stood together and headed towards the private room where Dee was supposed to be sleeping however the loud, angry voice that echoed down the corridor as they approached was clear indication that the injured man was very much awake.

"Go away!" he yelled as Ryo flung open the door to see his lover lunging wildly at the two nurses by his bedside. The lights were dimmed as they had intended to remove the pads protecting his eyes but there had been little progress as he had begun to swing his fists blindly. He was sweating profusely, his ebony hair plastered to his head as his body went haywire, in the throes of fever. To add to the general atmosphere of chaos, the heart monitor was beeping furiously, its erratic rhythm displayed on the monitor as series of sharp peaks and troughs.

"Dee!" Ryo cried, rushing into the room and up to the bed, narrowly missing the fist that whizzed past his head. "Stop it! These people are just trying to help you!" His appeal went ignored as Dee began to kick wildly with his one good leg, giving Ryo and the nurses no choice but to stand back out of harm's way until his energy was spent and he collapsed back onto the bed breathing heavily, still muttering incoherent curses under his breath. Ryo turned to the doctor, his dark eyes wide with fear after witnessing first hand his lover's current physical and mental state. Seeing the blond man was about to crack under the strain, Dr Sims put down his files and placed a firm hand on Ryo's shoulder as he spoke in a clear, loud voice. "Dee? My name's Dr Sims," he said addressing the patient although his eyes never left Ryo's anxious face. "I know you're in pain but we want to take the bandages off your eyes so please try and keep still."

A squeeze of encouragement from the hand on his shoulder was enough to spark Ryo into life and he took a tentative step forward, speaking to his disorientated lover in soft, soothing tones. "Dee, it's me." He paused suddenly; acutely aware of the three medical personnel behind him before he swallowed his embarrassment and continued. "It's okay baby, they just want to help you so let them, _please_?"

Whether Dee heard and decided to listen to his lover or he was just too worn out to fight anymore wasn't clear as the doctor advanced and gently began to peel back the pieces of gauze taped to his battered face as Ryo hovered close by in case he became aggressive again. When both pads were off, the doctor carefully swabbed Dee's eyes, allowing the cool sterile liquid to wash over them as they struggled to adjust, even to the dim light. After a succession of rapid blinks, the orbs seemed to focus as his gaze fell on Ryo, but there was little in the way of joyful recognition as the fever took hold once more and Dee started to writhe in confusion and pain.

"Please!" he cried, startling Ryo with the fear in his tones, "Someone help me!" With the sterile solution running down his face it looked as if he were crying and Ryo's heart wrenched at the sight before him.

"It's okay Dee," he said, trying to catch one of the injured man's hands as they flailed wildly, "Ssshhhh. You're safe now." But Dee was not to be placated. To him, the hallucinations he continued to experience were completely real and as various pairs of hands tried to touch him, he did the only thing he could think of and fought his imaginary enemies with all his might.

Eventually, seeing that Dee was either going to injure himself or someone else, Dr Sims instructed the nurse to prepare another sedative. Ryo looked as if he was about to object before a stray fist caught him squarely in the stomach, knocking the words and the wind from him in one sudden movement.

"I'm sorry Detective McLain," the older medic said to the blond man, now doubled up in pain, "But I think it's best if we keep him sedated until the fever breaks."

With one hand resting on the wall for support as the air slowly found its way back into his lungs, Ryo looked across at Dee sadly and nodded. "But I want to stay with him," he stated breathlessly, his expression, if not his voice showing his determination. It was the doctor's turn to nod his agreement as the nurse returned and handed him the prepared sedative, which he quickly injected into Dee's right arm while there was a lull in his movements. After a few moments the drugs took effect and his eyes closed, his expression instantly becoming more peaceful.

"I'll get one of the nurses to bring you a chair," Dr Sims said, watching as Ryo took up Dee's slack hand and cradled it between his own. "And I'll be back to check on him in an hour or so."

"Thank you," Ryo replied gratefully before his mind thought of something else. "Is there any chance I could make a phone call?"

The nurse that hadn't gone to look for a chair directed Ryo into the small office and pointed him towards the telephone before closing the door to give him some privacy. He dialled Cal's aunt and was relieved when she answered and agreed to have Bicky over to stay for the night. He promised he would call back later to speak to Bicky personally, knowing the boy would be anxious for news of Dee before he ended the call and returned to the private room off the hallway.

TBC…


	10. Thirteen at the Table

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 10 – Thirteen at the Table

With Dee heavily drugged, there was little to occupy Ryo as he sat and watched his lover breathing steadily, the gentle sound accompanied by the regular beeping of the heart monitor. He looked so gaunt Ryo thought; as if he'd lost seven or eight pounds over the short space of five days. Occasionally, he would reach over with a cloth and blot the beads of perspiration from Dee's face, as the fever continued to stubbornly attack his body. Half an hour had passed before the door opened and a nurse entered wearing a sympathetic smile and carrying a cup of tea, which Ryo accepted gratefully. Less than thirty minutes after that, Dr Sims returned to check on his patient, his smile after he had completed his tests indicating that there had been some improvement in the gravely ill man's condition.

"His temperature's falling," he announced to Ryo, who immediately let out the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. "Fingers crossed but we may have stopped the infection in time."

That positive piece of news was just what he needed and whilst the doctor continued his checks Ryo excused himself and went back to the office to use the phone. Knowing Bicky should be back from school he dialled Cal's aunt and jumped as it was answered on the first ring.

"Ryo?" It was Bicky's voice; Cal's aunt obviously having explained why Ryo had wanted him to stay there for the night. "You've found Dee right? Is he okay?"

Bick wasn't stupid and there seemed no point in lying to him so Ryo proceeded to tell him everything the doctor had said. "But his temperature's starting to come down," he said finally, keen to end the conversation on a positive note.

"So can I come and see him?" Bicky asked, wanting to see for himself.

Ryo sighed. "I'm sorry Bicky… Dee's too ill for visitors at the moment."

"But you just said…" Bicky started to protest.

"I know," Ryo replied gently, "But he's still got a long way to go. Now you behave at Cal's and I promise I'll call if there's any more news."

"Okay," Bicky agreed grudgingly, "Take care Ryo."

The blond man smiled into the phone, knowing that was as close to a declaration of affection as the tough street kid could manage. "You too Bicky," he replied before ending the call.

Evening came, and aside from one further check from Dr Sims who announced Dee's temperature had fallen yet again, there was little to occupy Ryo's mind as he sat beside his lover's bed, holding Dee's hand as it were a priceless antique. As his thoughts turned to work, he suddenly recalled his conversation with the young police woman on the stairs and realised that in his rush to get away from the precinct, he had taken with him the papers she had asked him to pass onto Rose. Worried that the commissioner may need them, Ryo reached for his briefcase to find out what they were and if they were important enough to ring Rose and tell him that he had them. When he located them amongst him own files, he scanned through the first couple of pages, noting that they seemed to be nothing more than a pile of out of date documents, most likely due for shredding. Doing one final flick through the sheath of papers, he frowned as he could have sworn he saw Dee's name. Backtracking, he found the appropriate document and pulled it out, his eyes running across the page, taking in the words that made his blood run cold. It was a memo, dated several days previous and although it was marked 'highly confidential', Ryo couldn't help but read it once he knew what it was about.

_To: Chief of Police_

_From: Commissioner Rose_

_Re: Dee Latener._

_I know Detective McLain's been asking about what we intend to do with regards to hostage negotiations so I thought it important to make our position implicitly clear. Under **no** circumstances are we to negotiate Detective Latener's release by freeing the suspect we have in custody. There will be no debate regarding this decision and any indication that you have shared this information with anyone will result in disciplinary action against you._

That was it; short and completely to the point but it still took Ryo several re-reads in order to take it all in. His heart pounded furiously as he realised what it all meant. No wonder the chief had seemed so short with Rose when he'd seen them together. He thought back to when the chief had wished him luck when they'd set off to search the factory where they'd found Dee. The look he'd shot Rose as he'd seen him watching had communicated more than he'd realised at the time. All along, Rose had had no intention of 'dealing' despite all he'd said to him. Ryo then thought back to when he'd asked Rose that very question earlier that same day. Of course it was easy for Rose to lie then; they'd found Dee so there was no need to enter into any negotiations but if they hadn't found him… Ryo shivered at the thought.

"He lied," he said out loud in sheer disbelief before a movement distracted him and he looked up from the incriminating memo to see Dee stirring. As his glazed emerald eyes flickered open, this time he seemed to look straight at Ryo and an expression of relief flooded his features.

"Ryo?" he asked tentatively, his voice heavy with sleep, "Is that really you?"

Ryo threw the papers to the floor, the memo from Rose temporarily forgotten as he clasped Dee's hands in delight. "Yes it's me baby. God Dee, I'm so glad you're awake."

He went to kiss the other man but froze as Dee flinched at the movement. Confused by the look of fear that flashed across Dee's face, Ryo pulled back, instinctively wanting to give him the space he looked like he needed.

"I'm sorry," Dee said suddenly, unable to miss the hurt in Ryo's eyes, "I don't know why I did that." His hands went to cover his face and Ryo didn't know how to respond. He desperately wanted to throw his arms around his lover and hold him protectively but seeing how he'd reacted when he'd gone to kiss him he thought better of it.

"Dee?" he said gently, placing a hand on the bedcovers. "I'm here for you love and I won't leave your side unless you want me to." He paused and looked at Dee expectantly. "Do you want me to go?"

"No! Don't leave me!" Dee's hands flew from his face and grabbed Ryo's outstretched limb as if his life depended on it. He looked terror-stricken and this time Ryo couldn't stop himself from flinging his arms around the other man and hugging him tightly.

"I'm going nowhere," he promised firmly as he began to rub soothing circles on Dee's back. They stayed that way for several moments until Dee's breathing calmed enough for Ryo to let him go. Their eyes met, communicating a multitude of emotions as Ryo pushed Dee's hair back from his battered face. "Oh Dee," he said, his voice wavering as he spoke, "I love you so much. We'll get through this together, I promise."

He watched as Dee nodded slowly, his expression still somewhat haunted. He seemed to glance around distractedly, taking in the various machines and tubes connected to his body as if he hadn't noticed them before. His eyes lit on the bloody mess on the inside of his left arm and he turned the limb slightly so Ryo could see what he was looking at. "What happened here?" he asked, confused.

"The doctor said you pulled some tubes out when you awoke before. I guess that was where you pulled them from," Ryo explained. "You had a fever so you were hallucinating. You wouldn't let anyone touch you, even me."

Dee put his head in his hands again as he recalled some of the nightmares he had truly believed were real. Slowly, the memories of his days in captivity started to impinge on his consciousness and his body started to tremble as a result. Seeing his distress, Ryo embraced him again, stroking the tangled ebony hair as he whispered words of comfort to reassure his wounded lover.

"I… I thought he hurt you," Dee said suddenly, the last part of the sentence almost lost in the strangled cry that escaped his throat. "He told me he watched you at our apartment. I thought he'd…" He never finished what he was going to say as his voice dissolved into sobs, his tears staining Ryo's shirt as he clung to the other man until his grief was spent.

"Nothing happened to me," Ryo said firmly, desperate to convince Dee that he had nothing to fear. He looked so vulnerable it made his heart ache. "You're the one he hurt so let's worry about getting you better, okay?"

Before Dee could respond, the door opened and Dr Sims stepped into the room to carry out his hourly check. He paused as he made eye contact with Ryo, still hugging Dee tightly, before he spoke.

"Detective McLain, there's been a telephone call for you," he said as he made his way over to the machines monitoring his patient's condition and began to note down the details displayed on each one. "Another detective; said his name was Drake." Feeling the body in his arms tense with someone else in the room, Ryo let Dee go so he could see the doctor although he kept a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you," Ryo replied, "I'll call him back later." He glanced at Dee, who hastily wiped away his tears as the doctor leaned in to look at the row of monitors to his left.

Once he'd finished writing on his clipboard, the medic came and stood by the side of the bed, offering Dee a broad smile. "Now Detective Latener," he said brightly, "How're you feeling? You've had a bit of a rough time with a fever caused by a wound infection but the worst seems to be over."

Dee lowered his head, embarrassed after what Ryo had told him. "I'm sorry if I was behaving a little crazy. I really didn't know what I was doing."

"That's perfectly natural," the doctor reassured him. "Overheating tends to make your brain act a little screwy. Things do seem to be improving though although you're likely to need some surgery to repair the wound on your face at a later date. We've taken some blood samples and should have the results in the morning so we'll have a better idea of what's going on then. Other than that, you should try and get some rest. We'll have to re-set your leg first thing tomorrow."

Recalling the damage to his already injured leg, Dee nodded morosely. "Fortunately, it's quite a clean break," the older man continued, "So it should heal quite quickly."

"That's what they said last time," Dee muttered, unable to subscribe to the doctor's more optimistic outlook.

Dr Sims nodded as he replaced the clipboard at the end of Dee's bed. "Well let's hope things are better this time. Now think about getting some rest. I'll be back to check on you in an hour."

The middle-aged doctor strode out of the room leaving Dee and Ryo alone once more. "I should ring Drake," Ryo said, patting Dee's hand and smiling at him gently. "And Bicky for that matter. They're all waiting to hear how you are."

Dee looked as if he was about to protest at Ryo leaving him even temporarily, before he nodded his agreement. "You can go home if you want to get some sleep," he said, although the doubt was clear in his voice.

"No way," Ryo said, pushing some stray hairs away from the emerald eyes he loved so much. "I'm just gonna go make those calls and then I'm coming straight back."

Dee managed a smile as he nodded, relieved that Ryo wasn't going to leave him, despite his offer. There was a pause as Ryo debated what to do next before he gave into his urges and leaned in to kiss his lover. He was worried Dee wasn't ready for such an intimate gesture but dark haired man didn't recoil from his touch as the lips grazed the skin of his cheek. Instead, he turned slightly so their lips met and for several long moments, they simply enjoyed the act of kissing. Eventually, Ryo pulled away gently to gaze into those deep green eyes. "God, I love you Dee," he breathed, his voice husky with emotion. "I'll go and make those calls. I promise I'll be quick."

With a last glance back at his bed-bound lover, Ryo hurried to the office where he dialled the precinct. The police officer on reception informed Ryo that Drake had left for the day but that he had been instructed to put Ryo straight through to Rose if he rang. Before Ryo could protest, not wanting to speak to Rose at that moment as the thought of the memo raced through his mind, the commissioner's crisp tones came onto the line. "Hello Ryo. Have you any news on Dee?"

Ryo swallowed hard, not wanting to let Rose know that something was amiss. "He's conscious now Sir, the doctor thinks he might be over the worst."

"That's good," Rose replied, "Is he ready to be interviewed about what's happened?"

"I don't think so Sir," Ryo replied hastily, shocked that Rose would be so insensitive. "_Physically_ he's over the worst but he seems quite distressed. I don't think he could cope with an interview just yet."

"Fine," Rose said dismissively. "Let me know when he is."

And that was it. He agreed to Ryo's request for a couple of days off, said goodbye and hung up the phone; no 'give my regards to Dee' or anything like that. Deeply annoyed by what had just taken place, Ryo dialled Drake's home number, needing someone to vent his frustration to. The other man listened intently as Ryo told him first about Dee and then about Rose, finishing finally with the memo he had stumbled across. He swore Drake to secrecy but the other man insisted that he help Ryo get to the bottom of what he'd learnt, such was his own level of outrage at the contents of the note.

Finally Ryo rang Bicky, who when he found out his guardian's lover was awake, told him to give Dee a playful punch in the arm from him until he could come and visit. Reluctantly, Ryo then had to broach the issue of the boy staying at Cal's for another night. Bicky agreed but was curious to know why Ryo wouldn't be coming home soon. "Dee's a little upset," Ryo tried to explain calmly. "He won't rest unless he knows I'm here with him so I need to stay. I'm really sorry Bicky. I know this isn't any good for you." Bicky dismissed the apology, telling Ryo it wasn't needed. Although he still felt jealous at times of Dee and Ryo's relationship, he clearly understood that the situation couldn't be any other way at the moment. So with all his phone calls made, Ryo returned to Dee's room to find the occupant fast asleep, clearly worn out by the day's events. Ryo smiled as he moved to the bed and covered Dee with the blankets before he settled into the moderately comfy chair and prepared to get some rest himself.

Morning dawned and Ryo awoke, feeling far from refreshed at the night's sleep he'd had. After Dr Sims had left some time around ten pm, the night shift doctor on duty had come in every hour to check on Dee and although the patient himself had slept through each of these examinations, Ryo had woken every time, his anxiety preventing him from sleeping too deeply. At eight am, Dr Sims returned to announce that they would be taking Dee down to surgery at nine so Ryo duly woke the other man in preparation. But nine am had been and gone before the doctor came back, his expression serious despite his friendly disposition. After he had carried out his various checks, he found a chair and came to sit on the other side of the bed from Ryo, glancing down at the notes in his hand before he started to address his patient.

"How are you feeling this morning Dee?" he asked, pen poised and ready to write anything of note.

"I'm fine," Dee replied as he rested against the mountain of pillows Ryo had used to prop him up in bed. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't hurt like hell but that just proves I'm alive, right?"

Dr Sims smiled, glad that Dee seemed to be a little more relaxed than he had the evening before. "That's good to hear," he said "But I just want to ask you a few questions. Tell me Dee, do you feel thirsty?"

The ebony haired man frowned at the question before he contemplated an answer. "I guess so," he said, glancing at Ryo anxiously.

"Can you remember when you last had something to eat or drink?"

Dee shook his head as he reluctantly recalled the last few days. "It's got to be two or three days ago. I started to feel really sick and couldn't keep anything down.

The doctor nodded as he wrote something down. "Just a couple more questions," he said kindly, "Now, before you were taken hostage, did you feel well?"

"I guess so. A little tired maybe but I've not been back at work long after I broke my leg. I just put it down to that."

"I see," the older man replied, "Any blurred vision or sudden weight loss?"

"I don't know," Dee answered, finding hard to think. He looked so worried that Ryo turned to the doctor and said, "I'm sorry Dr Sims, but what is this about?"

The doctor sighed as he put down the notes and looked straight at Dee. "I'm sorry to have to break this to you at such a difficult time Dee but I'm afraid you have diabetes."

Dee's eyes widened as he remembered a girl at the orphanage who had had the condition. Penguin had had to sit them all down and talk to them about her after someone had started spreading rumours that she was on drugs. "You mean like I need injections and stuff?" he asked in a small voice.

The doctor nodded. "I'm afraid so. You have type one, usually known as juvenile onset diabetes."

"Juvenile?" Ryo said in disbelief.

"Yes; it's called that because most type one sufferers are diagnosed before the age of thirty. We'll need to stabilise your condition first and then you'll be placed on a course of insulin injections."

"How long for?" Ryo asked, knowing little about the condition. He glanced at Dee's blank expression, realising that his lover already had a good idea about the answer.

"I'm afraid the injections are for life," the doctor said, watching Dee's reaction carefully. "You'll be taught how to inject yourself and how to check your blood glucose levels," he said, "It'll also mean some lifestyle changes, for instance your diet will have to change to keep your blood sugar level stable but you'll learn more about that from the diabetes clinic I'll refer you to. In the mean time, if you have any questions I'll be happy to answer them for you."

"Are you sure about this?" Ryo asked, wanting desperately to know if there was a chance the doctor could be wrong, but the medic replied in the negative. "This is the second blood test that's shown a high blood glucose level. The first was when you were in hospital at Christmas and it should have been followed up but wasn't I'm afraid."

Dee looked up suddenly, the vacant look disappearing from his eyes. "Is this because of what's happened to me?"

Dr Sims paused before he shook his head. "Unlikely. Sometimes there _is_ an environmental trigger like a virus but you probably have a genetic susceptibility to the condition anyway. It's quite often hereditary; did either of your parents have diabetes?"

Dee responded with an almost imperceptible shake of the head. "I… I don't know. I was an orphan, abandoned as a baby so I have no idea who my parents are."

His pain was felt by the other two men in the room. Ryo squeezed Dee's hand as Dr Sims offered him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, that must have been a difficult question."

Dee smiled, although there was sadness in the expression. "I guess it doesn't really matter does it? It doesn't change the fact that _I've_ got diabetes."

"I know it's a lot to take in," Dr Sims said kindly, "And there will be support available to help you adjust to all the changes you'll have to make. Now we still want to re-set your leg this morning, we just need to stabilise your blood glucose level before you go down to surgery."

Dee nodded numbly as the doctor turned and began to prepare the first insulin injection Dee would need. Once the doctor was ready, Dee offered him his arm, wincing slightly as the needle pierced his skin before the medic turned and left. As Dee's eyes turned to meet Ryo's, the blond couldn't help but notice the fear reflected in those green orbs. He looked like a child; lost and scared as his life seemed to be spiralling further out of control and Ryo did the only thing he could think of and wrapped his arms around his vulnerable lover. "I'm here for you Dee," he murmured in the other man's ear, "Just remember we're in this together. I love you so much."

He felt the other man nod against his shoulder as the door opened behind him and they pulled apart to see a pretty young nurse enter the room, her expression apologetic as she interrupted their moment of intimacy. "I'm sorry," she said softly as she set down the equipment she'd brought with her. "Hi Dee, my name's Sally and I've come to prepare you for your surgery." Seeing the men's anxious expressions she smiled reassuringly. "You can stay until premedication takes effect," she said to Ryo before her gaze fell upon the ebony haired man in the bed. "You'll be fast asleep soon and before you know it, you'll be waking up in the recovery room."

"Can I be there when he wakes up?" Ryo asked, his hand resting gently on Dee's shoulder.

The young woman smiled broadly as she nodded. "Of course. We'll let you know when Dee's out of surgery so you can come down to the recovery room and sit with him."

Ryo acknowledged her gratefully as she handed Dee some pills and a plastic tumbler of water. He took them both from her and swallowed the tablets, wincing as they scratched his throat, despite the liquid. He handed the cup back to her as she gestured for him to lie back down. Ryo helped her take away some of the pillows as Dee settled back into the bed, his expression blank as his mind raced with everything he'd just been told.

"I'll be here when you wake up," Ryo promised as he stroked Dee's hair tenderly and before long, his blinks started to get longer until eventually his eyes closed altogether.

Once he was asleep, the nurse gently removed the naso-gastric tube from his nose and replaced it with a thinner piece of piping that would send extra oxygen to his lungs during and after surgery. She smiled at Ryo as she worked, sensing his anxiety about the patient as his protective touch remained on the sleeping man's arm.

"You obviously care a lot about him," she said, keen to break the silence.

Ryo looked up, startled by the sound of her voice. "Sorry? Oh yes… I love him very much."

The nurse smiled. "Have you been together long?"

He gazed at Dee for a moment before he looked back to where she was starting to unhook the plethora of machines around the bed. "We've kind of been together for a couple of years but we moved in together at Christmas."

"How's that going?" she said with a chuckle, "You find out a lot about a person when you live together."

Ryo laughed and nodded in agreement. "That's true. Dee's not exactly big on housework but I wouldn't change him for the world."

"I can see that," the nurse replied, watching as the handsome man's attention returned to the man in the bed. "Well, I'd better get him down to surgery."

"Okay," Ryo said as he stood and stretched, wincing at the ache in his back. As the nurse raised the sides of the bed, Ryo leaned in and kissed Dee gently on the lips. "See you soon love," he said before he went and held the door as the nurse wheeled his lover away.

TBC…


	11. The Burden of Atlas

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 11 – The Burden of Atlas

Once Dee had gone, Ryo headed to the office in the hope of finding Dr Sims. The middle aged doctor wasn't around but he did find a nurse who sensed he was in need of something and put down the notes she was reading.

"Sorry to trouble you," he said, leaning into the office, "But I was looking for Dr Sims."

"He's on his ward rounds at the moment," she replied, smiling warmly at the handsome yet clearly wearied man. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

At her invitation, Ryo stepped into the office and sat down heavily into one of the leather chairs. "My partner's just been diagnosed with diabetes and I know next to nothing about the condition. I was wondering if Dr Sims had any reading I could take away so I could learn more about it."

The nurse smiled sympathetically as she stood and went to a large bookshelf laden with information. She studied the rows of texts for a moment before pulling out a book and several leaflets. "These should tell you everything you need to know," she said, handing them to him. "Is it type one or type two?"

"Type one," Ryo replied. "But that's about all I know." He sighed heavily as he ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. "I just feel so ignorant. Dee's got so much to deal with at the moment without this too. I just want to show him that I understand about his condition so we can deal with it together."

The nurse nodded as she sat back down opposite the attractive blond. "He'll need that. Diabetes can be a big shock to the system, especially to older type one sufferers. Getting a handle on a new diet and regular monitoring of blood glucose levels can be a bit daunting at first but it does get easier."

Ryo nodded, hoping that it was true as he glanced at the cover of the book entitled '_Living with Diabetes_'. The people in the picture were smiling and he wondered how long it would be before he ever saw that expression on Dee's face again. "Well thank you for these," he said, grateful that he could learn a little about what Dee had to face before his lover was awake. "I think I'm going to go to the refectory to read these. Would someone be able to come and find me when Dee is out of surgery?"

"Of course," the nurse smiled.

With a few hours to kill while Dee was having his operation, Ryo got a cup of tea and took himself to a quiet corner of the refectory in order to digest the wealth of information that the nurse had given him. In a short space of time, he had learnt more about diabetes than he thought possible; the symptoms, causes and treatment and what it was like to live with the condition. The changes Dee would need to make to his lifestyle would be a huge undertaking; it seemed like everything Dee enjoyed as part of his diet was suddenly out of bounds.

Suddenly Ryo felt the need to talk to someone and he stood, collecting up the books and leaflets and headed over to the payphone located near the exit. Finding some change in his pocket, he fed it into the slot and dialled Drake's cell phone number, relieved when the call was answered on the third ring.

"Drake? It's Ryo. Are you busy?"

"Ryo! How's Dee?" Drake replied, ignoring the other man's question.

Ryo briefly explained that Dee's fever had passed and he'd been taken down to surgery to re-set his leg before he enquired what the other man was doing at that moment. Perceptive as always, Drake sensed that Ryo needed to talk. "I've just been to interview a reluctant witness in an armed robbery who unsurprisingly wasn't home when I got there. I'm not far from the hospital, d'you want me to call in?"

Ryo swallowed a huge lump of emotion in his throat before he could reply. "I'd really appreciate that Drake, are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all, where will I find you?"

"The refectory on the fourth floor. Thanks Drake."

"No problem," the other man replied, "See you in five."

As he waited for Drake to arrive, Ryo grabbed another cup of tea and retook his seat in the corner. Idly flicking through one of the leaflets, he noticed there was a list of telephone numbers for support groups for partners and parents of diabetes sufferers and of course the diabetics themselves. He was in the process of considering whether he should suggest such a group to Dee when the door at the far end of the room opened and Drake stepped in, looking around for Ryo until he spotted the blond man waving from a table near the back. He stopped off to get a coffee as Ryo took the books and leaflets and placed them on the floor near his feet, not sure whether Dee would want him to tell Drake about his recent and unexpected diagnosis.

"Hey McLain," Drake said, sinking into the seat opposite Ryo and letting out a long wearied breath. "What a waste of a morning."

Ryo smiled; glad to have company at last. "Reluctant witness huh?"

"Something like that," Drake replied, rolling his eyes as he sipped the steaming coffee. "So how's Dee?"

Ryo offered the man a small smile as his eyes dropped to study his own drink, gripped between tense fingers. "He's… very quiet."

Drake nodded, understanding what Ryo meant. They'd been so wrapped up with Dee's physical condition that they hadn't stopped to consider the mental trauma he might have endured. "Has he talked about what happened?" he asked gently.

Ryo shook his head. "Not really. Although he did seem to be under the impression that his kidnapper might have done something to me while he was being held hostage."

Drake frowned. "Like what?"

Ryo suddenly looked awkward. "He didn't say exactly but he was so upset about it I think he meant something sexual. He said the kidnapper had been watching our apartment."

"Really?" Drake replied, his eyes widening at the thought Ryo might have been stalked during the entire incident. "Did you see anyone suspicious?"

Anxiety written all over his features, Ryo massaged his temples before he shook his head. "I didn't, but that doesn't mean to say he wasn't there. There were so many reporters lurking around, I probably wouldn't have noticed one more person." When he didn't get a response, he looked up to see Drake gazing at him in concern.

"Are _you_ okay Ryo?"

"Yeah. Just short on sleep I guess. I spent the night dozing in a plastic chair."

"No offence Ryo, but you can tell."

The blond smiled, knowing he probably looked as weary as he felt. "I had to stay with Dee. He needs me."

Drake nodded, not doubting that statement. "So physically though, he's going to be okay? Once his leg's mended I mean."

Ryo's vague reply caused Drake to frown. "Is there something else Ryo? I kinda feel that's not the whole story." The worried expression that greeted him caused Drake to backtrack a little. "If you can't or don't want to talk about then I understand."

"No," Ryo said, "It's not that… I… I could do with someone to talk to but I don't want to be disloyal to Dee."

"Is Dee really ill?" Drake asked, worried by what he was hearing. He watched as Ryo sighed, mentally debating his current dilemma, knowing he would have to say _something_ to prevent Drake from assuming Dee had some terminal illness.

"He's… he's just found out he has diabetes. The insulin-dependant type."

Drake looked stunned, clearly not expecting what Ryo had just told him. "Oh wow, how's he taken that?"

Ryo shook his head sadly. "It's hard to say. Like I said, he's been pretty quiet since he regained consciousness. When the doctor told him, he just looked _blank._ I'm not even sure he took it all in."

"That's understandable," Drake replied, "My cousin Sarah found out she was diabetic when she was in her teens. It took her ages to accept it; she just wanted to be the same as her friends."

"That must have been tough," Ryo acknowledged. "Please don't say anything to anyone Drake. I don't want Dee thinking I've gone round telling people."

Drake shook his head emphatically. "I won't say a thing but Dee will probably need to tell people, especially when he's back at work. Sometimes diabetics can find themselves in situations where they're too sick to help themselves so it's essential that friends and colleagues know what to do to help them."

"Do you mean if they go hypoglycaemic?" Ryo asked, checking he'd understood what he'd just read.

Drake nodded. "Exactly. If everyone around Dee knows what to do if that happens because well…

"It could make the difference between life and death," Ryo said, finishing Drake's sentence to let the other man know he didn't need protecting from the consequences of Dee's illness if it wasn't carefully managed. Ryo's companion nodded grimly. "Yeah, but a good routine can help Dee avoid situations like that. Sarah's been diagnosed ten years now and I'm sure she barely has to think about her diabetes management. She's learnt her life doesn't have to revolve around the fact that she's diabetic."

Ryo smiled gratefully, glad that he'd confided in Drake. The younger man's reassurance was needed at this juncture in his life, especially with other issues weighing heavily upon him. It was almost as if Drake sensed the blond's train of thought as he said, "D'you want to talk about that memo you found from Rose?"

Ryo looked up from his cup of tea, his expression filled with angst. With everything that had happened with Dee he'd pushed that to the back of his mind but now it needed addressing. "I just couldn't believe what I was reading," he said, shaking his head in disbelief, "After I'd asked Rose too about what we would have done if we hadn't found Dee yesterday."

"I know," Drake replied, still finding it hard to take in himself. "Lying bastard! Seriously though, I think Henry Goldsmith has something to do with this. Don't ask me why, but I just feel there's something going on…"

"But what can we do?" Ryo asked, "Rose can't know I've seen that memo. It was in a pile of stuff that looked like it was going to be shredded."

"We can't do nothing either," Drake said firmly. "Like you said Ryo, what if we _hadn't_ found Dee?"

The thought made Ryo shudder and for a moment he couldn't find his voice. Dee could have died if another twenty four hours had passed and the fact that Rose would have blocked attempts to use their main bargaining chip to get him released chilled him to the bone. He was pulled from his thoughts by a touch on his outstretched hand. "Don't worry about it for now Ryo. I'll keep an eye on things at work with Rose and Goldsmith; you just concentrate on being there for Dee. He's the priority now. Just because Rose let him down doesn't mean you have to."

Knowing Drake was right and the situation with Rose could wait, Ryo nodded, his mind turning back to Dee. "Have you taken some time off?" Drake asked.

"Yes but I don't want to be off for too long. I think Dee will need me more when he's back home."

"You're probably right," Drake replied as their attention was jointly drawn to the nurse that walked into the refectory and seemed to be scanning the room for someone. When she noticed Ryo, she hurried over, offering both men a friendly smile of greeting. "Detective McLain?" she asked, addressing the tired-looking blond. "Dee's out of surgery now so you can come down to the recovery room to sit with him if you want."

Ryo stood quickly, ignoring the half-drunk cup of tea on the table. Drake did the same, knowing Ryo would want to get to Dee as quickly as possible. "Well take care Ryo and ring me if you need anything, even if it's just to talk. And don't worry; I won't say anything to the guys about Dee. Just tell him that we're all thinking about him and can't wait to see him back at the precinct. Oh and, be prepared for a visit from JJ. We're barely able to restrain him now so what he'll be like in a few days…"

Ryo managed a smile as Drake rolled his eyes comically before they followed the nurse out of the refectory. They parted at the door, Drake pulling the other man into a firm and supportive embrace and promising he would be in touch before he made for the stairs, turning back just in time to see Ryo and the nurse stepping into the elevator that would take them to Dee. Once they had gone, Drake headed back to his car, determined that when he got back to the station he would do a little checking on Henry Goldsmith… and Berkley Rose for that matter.

The nurse directed Ryo into a private room, similar in décor to the one he and Dee had spent the night in. Other than the bed and a single visitor's chair that they had set out for him, knowing he wanted to sit with the other man, there was no other furniture and Ryo wished for not the first time that he could take Dee home and nurse him in the comforts of familiar surroundings. She explained briefly that the operation had been a success; his leg had been re-set and encased in a fresh knee-to-toe cast before she exited the room, leaving the two men alone. His lover was sleeping, his chest rising and falling in steady motions as Ryo studied him, his heart bursting with love. Until Dee decided to talk, Ryo had no idea what had befallen his lover during his days in captivity and, as he lowered himself into the visitor's chair, he continued to pray that whatever had happened, it would be nothing that they couldn't get through together. Dee's recent diagnosis of diabetes complicated things when he had so much to deal with already but Ryo felt confident that the fighting spirit he'd fell in love with would shine through in time.

Almost half an hour had passed before Dee showed any signs that he was starting to come round. Seeing the movements, Ryo pulled his chair closer and gently took up one of Dee's slack hands. He wanted the other man to open his eyes and see that he was there for him as he had promised before he had gone into surgery. Eventually, glazed emerald eyes flickered open, staring directly up at the ceiling for a moment before they came to rest on the handsome but tired blond by his bedside.

"Hey," Ryo said gently, smiling as Dee stared at him blankly for a moment. "How you feeling love?"

Dee swallowed hard in an attempt to lubricate his unused vocal chords. "I've felt better," he croaked as Ryo pushed dark strands of hair away from his face. He suddenly closed his eyes, his expression a mask of discomfort as he attempted to pull himself up the bed. "Well?" he said as he got more comfortable and turned to look at Ryo once again. "Are we back to square one?" The blond detective frowned before he realised Dee was referring to his leg and the operation that had just taken place.

"The nurse said everything had gone well," Ryo replied, giving his hand an encouraging squeeze. "And I think the cast's smaller than the one you had last time."

"That's good," Dee said sleepily. "Thanks for being here."

"I promised, didn't I?" Dark eyes watched the other man for a moment before he said quietly, "I'm so sorry Dee. All of this… I just…"

"It's okay," Dee said, not wanting his lover to apologise for things that were beyond his control. "We got it wrong, thinking they were after you."

"But…"

"Please," Dee snapped, and Ryo couldn't fail to miss the trace of anger in his voice. "I don't want to talk about it now." Although Dee wasn't looking at him, Ryo nodded submissively, startled by his reaction. "Okay Dee, but I'm here for you if you do want to talk."

As his anger subsided, Dee turned and offered the other man a thin, tight-lipped smile. "I know," he said quietly. "I just need to think about other things for a while. Tell me what's happened over the last week. What's been in the news?" Despite his drowsy state he was quick to catch Ryo's somewhat awkward expression. "What?" he asked curiously, seeing his lover's reluctance to speak.

Finally Ryo began an answer. "I've tried not to watch much news this week since… well since we've been the main story for most of it." He sighed heavily, seeing Dee wanted a fuller answer. "The press found out you'd been kidnapped… then they found out about us. Since then, our lives have been picked apart almost daily. They just loved the fact that there was a homosexual twist to this already juicy drama. When they found out about Bicky, they started debating whether gays and lesbians should be allowed to look after children." He paused and sighed wearily. "It's been… difficult."

"I'm sorry," Dee said almost inaudibly, feeling guilty that their lifestyle would bring his lover so much anguish. Hearing the apology, Ryo's eyes widened. "Oh God no, Dee don't apologise! I didn't mean it like that." He scrubbed a hand through his dark blond locks, frustrated at how that had come out. "God, that sounded so selfish, worrying about what others think when you…" He stopped suddenly, realising he was returning to a subject Dee had clearly marked out of bounds for the time being. Needing to change the subject quickly, he glanced around the room before his eyes came to rest on the literature at his feet.

"I've been doing some reading… about diabetes. I think I understand more about it now."

Dee's blank expression prevented Ryo from concluding whether his lover was pleased or not by his actions. "That's great," he said finally although he certainly didn't sound like he meant it.

"I could leave you the books," Ryo said helpfully, "They're very well written and there are details of support groups…"

"Fine," Dee said sharply before he turned to lie on his side, facing away from Ryo. He hated this feeling of weakness that seemed to clamp down on him whenever anyone suggested that he might need help. He knew he it was wrong of him to be angry at Ryo but he couldn't help the bitterness in him from flaring when he was reminded that he was sick and injured. "Look Ryo, if you don't mind I'm still pretty tired. You should get home to Bicky while I get some rest. You can come and see me tomorrow." The tone of his voice indicated that he'd meant it as an instruction more than an offer and Ryo stood slowly, stunned that, if he was hearing things rightly, Dee was telling him to leave.

"Uh... okay," he said, wishing Dee would turn and look at him so he knew how his lover really felt. "I'll call back later on but if you want me sooner just ring and I'll be straight back. I love you Dee," he said finally, unable to disguise the hurt in his voice.

"I love you too," Dee replied although he stayed facing the wall as he spoke. Realising the conversation was at an end, Ryo turned and left, his heart breaking that his lover wouldn't reach out to him when he was clearly in so much pain. As he headed back down the corridor, he encountered the nurse that had loaned him the books and leaflets earlier that morning. She smiled as she saw him approaching. "Hello again. Did you find out what you needed to know?"

"Yes thank you. Those books were very useful." Ryo just about managed to return the smile but when it didn't quite meet his eyes, the nurse frowned. "I know it seems like an incredibly complicated illness at first," she said kindly, assuming his distress was because of what he'd read about, "but it is manageable."

"I know," Ryo replied, his anguish finding its way into his voice, "It's… I…"

Sensing he was about to break down, the nurse led him by the arm to an empty side room and guided him towards a chair. She watched him carefully for a couple of moments until the emotion seemed to pass and he managed to look at her directly. "I'm sorry," he said apologetically, feeling foolish that lately he seemed to be unburdening himself on anyone who'd listen. "I've just been with Dee but… he won't talk to me or even _look_ at me. I want to help him but how can I do that if he won't let me?"

The middle aged nurse smiled at him sympathetically as she reached across and took hold of his hand. "Many people react like this when they're diagnosed with something so serious. They can be in denial for a long time or they can get angry with everyone and everything. He's probably thinking 'why me?' and even though he wouldn't wish such an illness on you, he's likely to be wondering why it had to happen to him and not you or anyone else he knows. People who've been particularly healthy all their lives also find it a huge blow."

Ryo nodded, trying to recall the last time Dee had been off work sick and failing miserably. "Just try and stay strong for him," the female medic continued, "He'll want to talk in time and if you keep letting him know that you're there for him, then his first stop will be you. In the light of everything else that he's been through, Dr Sims will be referring him to a counsellor so he can get some professional help too."

Ryo acknowledged the information with relief, glad that he wouldn't have to shoulder the burden of having to repair Dee's damaged psyche on his own. He'd all but freaked out when Dee had just pushed him away temporarily; how would he cope if his lover demanded something more permanent as he tried to come to terms with everything?

"Don't worry," the nurse said, pulling Ryo from his thoughts, "Although it is a long, hard road, you'll get to the end of it eventually. And Dee will love you even more if he knows you've been there for him all that time."

Ryo managed a grateful smile as he pushed his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "I'd better go," he said, although the reluctance was clear in his voice. "Please remind Dee that he can call me if he wants me back here at any time. I'll be coming back anyway later on."

The nurse smiled and nodded. "I'll tell him and when you come back later, check with the receptionist as he'll probably be moved from Critical Care later. Now go home and get yourself some rest and _try not to worry_."

TBC…


	12. The Faces of Janus

**Author's note – Okay here's a little explanation about some of the chapter names. Most are taken from English Idioms.**

**A Pyrrhic Victory – An apparent victory which in fact is no victory at all. Came from King Pyrrhus in 279BC who won a battle but lost most of his best men in the process.**

**Raising Cain – To explode with Anger.**** (Biblical reference). The name Cain is associated with a violent temper. I chose it because it was the chapter where ****Dee****'s kidnapper attacked him.**

**Beware the Chimera – Not an idiom in itself. A chimera (as well as being a creature from Greek mythology) is also defined as 'an illusion or fabrication of the mind'. It just fitted for the chapter since ****Dee**** was hallucinating so much.**

**Expelling Jeremiah – Again, not an idiom in itself.**** A 'Jeremiah' is one who always sees things in the gloomiest light. Jeremiah was a prophet of gloom of the Old Testament. It just made me think of Ryo being all depressed…**

**The Sword of Damocles – Idiom.**** From the legend of King Dionysius who made his courtier Damocles sit under a sword hung from the ceiling by a single hair to demonstrate the precariousness of his life.**

**Thirteen at the table – Biblical idiom, considered unlucky as some believe that the first to rise from a table of thirteen will die. Related to the Last Supper; Judas was the thirteenth man at the table and hanged himself after betraying Christ. I chose it purely for its association with bad luck (you could say our favourite detectives were experiencing their fair share of it!).**

**Okay, I hope that explains a little about the odd chapter titles. Swordy**

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 12 – The Faces of Janus

Although he tried, worrying was something that came easy to Ryo and he did plenty of it as he drove to Cal's aunt's house to pick up Bicky. The older lady shrugged off Ryo's attempts to repay her kindness monetarily, her face twinkling with emotion as she watched the boy greet his guardian with an enthusiastic welcome. Enquiries were made about Dee's health but Ryo didn't elaborate other than to say he was recovering and out of danger. Once he and Bicky were alone in the car however, he was subjected to further questioning from the boy who read his emotions far too easily.

"Is he really okay Ryo?" Bicky asked, staring at him as Ryo concentrated on the road ahead. "He's not gonna die or anything and you just don't want to tell me."

Ryo shook his head, feeling that this conversation was going a similar way to the one he'd had with Drake. He'd no choice but to tell Bicky; he lived with Dee and needed to be kept up to speed with how things were going to have to change.

"Dee's okay…" he started slowly, "His leg is broken again and he has a wound on his face which may need some surgery…"

"But that's not bad is it? Those things can heal right?"

"Yeah, but there's something else too. Have you heard of diabetes Bicky?"

As they pulled up in a queue of traffic, Ryo took the opportunity to look across at the boy in the passenger seat, whose own expression indicated that he was thinking about what Ryo had said. "I've heard of it," Bicky said eventually, "But I don't know anything about it. Has Dee got diabetes?"

"Yes," Ryo replied, breaking eye contact as the traffic began to move again. "He found out this morning. The doctor doesn't seem to think it's because of what's happened, more that it's just an unfortunate coincidence."

"So what does it mean? Is it curable?"

"No, but it _is_ treatable," Ryo said quickly, not wanting to alarm him. "He'll need to maintain a healthy lifestyle while giving himself insulin injections several times a day."

"Shit…" Bicky said under his breath. Just the thought of going for an injection was bad enough, let alone having to do it to yourself each and every day. He felt sorry for Dee and decided there and then that he was going to try and be nice to him, even though his usual insults were only jokes anyway. "Is he scared?" Bicky asked, ending the moment of quiet reflection.

He watched as Ryo nodded, his fingers gripping the steering wheel tensely. "I think so… he hasn't said much since he came round. With everything he's been through… it's hard to know how much that has affected him too. I'm sure he'll be okay though." He let the sentence end there, not wanting to burden Bicky with the fact that Dee's behaviour was scaring him before he deflected any further conversation by asking the boy about what he'd been up to at school.

They reached the apartment and Bicky went to do his homework as Ryo started to prepare the evening meal. As Bicky disappeared into his bedroom, Ryo went straight to the phone to check the messages, hoping beyond hope that there would be a message from the hospital saying Dee wanted him to come back but there wasn't. He was still determined to go back to the hospital anyway later on but he would have preferred to know that he would be returning with Dee's blessing rather than the niggling doubt that his lover may not want to see him.

They ate together and then Ryo helped Bicky with his homework before he went to take a shower. The needling spray felt good as it soaked his hair and body although he could still feel the tension in his shoulders as he dried himself and redressed. Bicky was on his Playstation as Ryo wandered back into the living room and picked up his jacket and keys. The boy paused the game and looked up, his bright blue eyes indicating that he wished Ryo would change his mind and let him come to the hospital with him, as he had asked over dinner.

"I'm sorry Bicky," Ryo said and truly meant it. "I'd let you come but Dee's had a big shock today and I don't think he's up to having many visitors. I promise I'll ask him so maybe you can come with me tomorrow." The boy fixed him with an unhappy stare before he shrugged his shoulders and went back to playing his game although he cheered up slightly when Ryo left him some money to order pizza if he got hungry later. Having sorted Bicky out, Ryo then drove the familiar route back to the hospital, his mind debating how he should approach Dee if his lover was in a similar mood to how he'd been earlier today. He parked up and headed into the hospital, smiling at the young woman on the reception desk as he approached, thinking he should check in case Dee had been moved to another ward over the course of the day. The receptionist finished her telephone call and returned Ryo's smiled with a friendly one of her own.

"Can I help you sir?" she asked, gazing at the handsome man appreciatively.

"I hope so. I'm here to see a patient by the name of Dee Latener. He was in Critical Care this morning but he may have been moved. I was told to check here to find out where he is now."

Her smile remained friendly but her eyes narrowed suddenly. "I'm not sure there's anyone here by that name."

Ryo opened his mouth to dispute the fact before he realised why she was suddenly so evasive. The hospital staff were under strict instruction to keep Dee's identity protected while they had the factory staked out in the hope that the kidnapper would return, not knowing Dee had been rescued. He reached into his pocket, glad that he had his police ID badge on him. "My name is Detective Randy McLain. I'm Detective Latener's partner."

The receptionist nodded as she inputted the data onto her computer and verified which names were to be allowed access to the patient. Detective McLain's name was on the list. "Okay… Detective Latener has been moved to the general ward on the third floor. You can go straight up."

"Thank you," Ryo replied gratefully as he started in the direction of the stairs. He found the correct ward but there was no one at the nurses' station to tell him where he'd find Dee and so he started to walk towards the individual rooms, certain that Dee would have been given more private facilities. As he approached one room, the door slightly ajar, he heard a familiar, yet somewhat anxious voice say, "Like this?"

"You're doing fine Dee," a female voice replied encouragingly as Ryo tentatively knocked on the door. He listened as the same voice called out 'come in' before he poked his head around the door, hoping he wasn't intruding. Inside the room, the lady doctor that had given him permission to enter looked up and smiled as Ryo came in before her attention returned to her patient. In the bed, Dee was sat up, propped up by pillows and now dressed in a plain black t-shirt and shorts as opposed to the hospital gown he had been wearing when Ryo had seen him last. He didn't look up as Ryo entered; clearly he was far too focussed on the task he was attempting to contemplate any distractions. In one hand, he was holding up the t-shirt to reveal his lean and lightly tanned stomach; in the other he held a syringe, the contents of which he had just dispensed into his abdomen with a slight wince as the needle punctured his skin.

"Now, how was that?" the doctor asked gently as she took the syringe from him and deposited it in a sharps box.

"It wasn't too bad," Dee admitted, sounding relieved as he rubbed the site of the injection and lowered his t-shirt. He looked up suddenly and offered Ryo a small smile before the doctor started to speak and he turned to look at her again. "Well I'll come back tomorrow morning Dee and we'll go through what other sites you can use for injecting yourself and how that affects the speed of the insulin release." She stood and pushed back the chair although she continued to smile at the man in the bed. "You've done really well tonight Dee, honestly."

"Thank you Dr Stephens and you will make sure no one else is told about my condition, won't you? I don't want work to know yet," he called after the woman as she walked towards the door. She smiled and nodded, making eye contact with Ryo as she passed before she exited the room and closed the door behind her.

"Hey you," Ryo said warmly as he moved around the bed to take the seat the doctor had just vacated. Before he sat down, he leaned in to kiss Dee and was relieved when the other man didn't shy away from the embrace. "How're you feeling?"

Dee frowned slightly as he toyed with the bandage on his left wrist. "You'd not believe how many times I've been asked that today."

Ryo suddenly looked contrite. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I'm just not sure how exactly I'm supposed to feel." He looked up at Ryo, a lopsided smile on his face as he gazed at his blond lover. "That sounds stupid doesn't it?"

Ryo shook his head emphatically. "Not at all." He paused and fiddled with the car keys awkwardly. "I'm sorry about before. I didn't mean to push you."

Dee sighed and dragged a hand through his newly washed hair. "Forget it," he said quietly, "You don't need to apologise. I know you were only trying to help."

"You're right," Ryo said, fixing him with sincere dark eyed stare as he reached across and took one of Dee's hands. "I _do_ want to help you Dee. We'll get over this, together."

Ryo wasn't prepared for the look Dee suddenly shot him as he snatched his hand back. "_Get over this?_" he snapped, "Ryo, I have an illness that I'll have for the rest of my fucking life! What's there to 'get over'?"

"I… I didn't mean it like that." Ryo stammered, completely disorientated by how he seemed to have put his foot in it once again. "I meant about the kidnapping…"

"But I'm fine; _you're _the one making a big deal about it."

Ryo looked at Dee, stunned at how dismissive his lover was about what had happened to him. "But it _is_ a big deal Dee. You were so upset yesterday…"

"I was," Dee said curtly, "But I'm not now. I was having fucking hallucinations, what did you expect? When I realised that none of that stuff had actually happened I was okay."

Understandably Ryo didn't believe him and he was unsuccessful in keeping the scepticism from his expression but unfortunately Dee saw it and flipped. "What? You don't fucking believe me?" he shouted angrily, balling the bed sheets up in his fists. "I'm fine, when will you get that into your stupid head?"

Ryo eyes went wide; stunned by the way Dee was speaking to him. Sure, they'd had disagreements in the past but Dee had never raised his voice and said such things the way he was doing now. He looked so angry that Ryo wondered what he'd do next and so when the dark haired man raised his hand suddenly, intending to push his unruly hair away from his eyes, Ryo flinched instantly assuming that he was about to be hit. Dee saw the instinctive reaction and froze. "You thought I was going to hit you, didn't you?" he said coldly, studying the blond's anxious face. "Is that what you think of me Ryo? You think I'd hit my own lover?"

"No…" Ryo replied feebly, not sure what to think anymore. "Look maybe I should go… I'm making you upset."

"Sure, whatever," came the reply, "I'm tired anyway." He turned to face the window so he wouldn't have to see the pained look on Ryo's face as his lover stood and made his way slowly to the door. Unfortunately however the blind was up, causing Ryo's reflection to be painted onto the glass before his eyes. He closed his own eyes against the image as he heard a voice, resonating with emotion, whisper 'I love you' before the door closed and hurried footsteps could be heard moving down the corridor and away from his room. Finally, he turned, tears streaming down his tired face as he listened to his lover rushing from this encounter, filled with pain.

"I'm so sorry Ryo," he cried, burying his face in his hands, at a loss at why he kept acting this way with someone who was only ever gentle and loving towards him. "What's wrong with me?" He stayed that way, sobbing into his hands, for several long moments until fatigue overtook him and fell into an empty, dreamless sleep.

Berkley Rose placed the report back down on his desk and sighed heavily as he removed his glasses and began to massage the bridge of his nose. He seemed to have had a perpetual headache for the last couple of days; the strains of the job weighing heavily on his broad shoulders. Sometimes the money and status offered little comfort when he was faced with such stresses. The press were still on his back, wanting to know whether there had been any progress on the kidnapping and in the morning, he was due to attend a press conference to give the impression that Dee was still missing. So far, the kidnapper hadn't returned to the factory so, unless he'd seen the police cars when they'd recovered Dee, he wouldn't know that his hostage was no longer there. The slightest hint in the media that Dee was safe and they'd have lost the best chance of catching the perpetrator. Rose had also had to liaise with the hospital to warn them about the likely media frenzy that would erupt when they could announce Dee's rescue and understandably they were far from happy about it. As a result, Rose had had to promise the services of several of his officers if the worst case scenario arose.

He was also receiving a hard time from several of his own men after he had complained about Ryo taking his vacation time at short notice. The chief was already giving him short shrift because of the memo he had sent him and now several of his most senior detectives were treating him like something they'd scraped of the bottom of their shoes. Not that Rose particularly cared; after all, being the boss wasn't a popularity contest but he couldn't help but think that the respect his colleagues had for him had slipped several notches since this whole sorry saga had begun. He was certain they didn't know about the memo; more the fact that he was a friend of Henry Goldsmith's was making them bitter towards him.

Rose looked up suddenly as the door handle started to turn. It was late, almost nine pm, and all the regular workers had long since finished for the day. The night shift were all downstairs on the 'shop' floor; regular uniformed cops dealing with the usual issues that the evening brought with it but nothing that should require the services of the commissioner and so he waited to see exactly who would come through his door at this hour. Strangely, Rose found his headache suddenly intensified as Henry Goldsmith stepped into his office, looking edgy and somewhat relieved to find his old friend still at his desk.

Rose put his glasses back on as Goldsmith closed the door and walked over to the ornamental decanter and poured himself some brandy, which he downed in one swift motion. Rose watched as the agitated man paced for a few seconds before he sank into the leather chair across from the commissioner and covered the lower half of his face with his hand. He stayed that way for several long moments before he broke his silence, his voice slightly hoarse from the large slug of brandy he'd just consumed.

"Berkley…. I think we've got a problem," he said ominously as the blond man continued to stare, his face expressionless. "That detective that had been kidnapped. He's been found right?"

Rose nodded as he pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Yes, we recovered him yesterday. He's still in hospital but should make a full recovery."

"Shit!" Goldsmith replied, standing quickly and pacing away from the desk.

"How did you know about that?" Rose said sharply. "That information's not been made available to the public yet."

"Call it a lucky guess," Goldsmith replied, waving his hand dismissively, "But we might be in deep shit now."

Rose arched one bright blond eyebrow. "_We_ might be in deep shit? Just what's going on Henry?"

The older man sighed as he returned to his seat. Rose studied him carefully, concluding that he looked even more worried than when he'd first come to see his old friend about the kidnapping threat. "I think there's something you should know Berkley… about the De Lucas and the kidnapping." He paused and glanced up at his friend, hoping that the younger man would be understanding of what he was about to tell him. "I'm listening," Rose said flatly, his expression indicating that he expected bad news.

"Okay," Goldsmith said, resigning himself to the truth. "The De Luca's didn't arrange to kidnap my family… it was me." He expected anger but instead, Rose simple closed his eyes and sighed. "Why Henry?" he asked, not sure he really wanted to know.

"Because those bastard De Lucas were about to get the better of me! They were about to better my final offer for Henderson Media and I just panicked. Henderson wouldn't risk dealing with reputed criminals, even for the sake of an extra couple of million so I needed to make them look bad."

"So who did you hire to do it?" Rose asked, scarcely able to believe he was having this conversation with someone he'd trusted for so many years. Goldsmith suddenly looked awkward, as if he was coming to the most difficult part of his confession. "Two brothers; Daniel and Liam… I don't know their surname."

Berkley rolled his eyes, amazed that his friend would be so careless. "How did you find them?"

Goldsmith's eyes dropped down to the floor. "Daniel was a rent boy that I grew fond of. I helped him get a place when he was homeless." He glanced up to be met by Rose's condescending stare. "Oh give it a rest Berkley," he snapped irritably, "Don't tell me you've never fancied a bit of young dick."

Rose chose to ignore the vulgarity. "Get to the point Henry," he said coldly.

"Fine. Daniel got it into his head that I was going to leave Helena and set up home with him. When I told him he'd got it wrong, his interfering brother threatened to blackmail me with a tape he'd secretly made of me and Daniel together. At the same time, the situation with the De Lucas was about to blow up so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone. I offered the brothers a substantial amount of money to carry out the kidnapping in exchange for the tape and their silence. They agreed but when they bungled the plan and Daniel got caught, I had to rethink the situation. I thought things would just die down but that _moron_ Liam had to go and get revenge by kidnapping that detective of yours. He's a spiteful bastard and he'll probably have told your detective everything."

His final statement pulled Rose from his thoughts with a jolt. "So what are you saying Henry?"

"I'm saying," the older man said as he fingered the heavy gold bracelet on his left wrist, "That you need to interview that detective of yours to find out what he knows. Don't send anyone else; it has to be you."

Rose looked sceptical. "Don't you think that will look a little weird? The commissioner going to take a statement personally?"

"Not really," Goldsmith replied. "People will just think how caring you are; the attentive boss going to see one of his men who's been through one hell of an ordeal. Why should anyone be suspicious?"

"Maybe because I don't see eye to eye with the detective involved," Rose volunteered. "Haven't I done enough for you already Henry? I agreed not to release the young man we had in custody because of you. Give me one good reason why I should do this now."

Goldsmith fixed him with a hard stare, about to put the last nail in the coffin of their friendship. "Because I'm not sure exactly how much Daniel and Liam know about my activities, past and present. There are some things that they may know that I'm sure you wouldn't want to come out either."

"Meaning?" Rose said sharply, although the sinking feeling in his stomach told him that he knew exactly where this conversation was going.

"Meaning, that your detective may now know a story about how a young man was so desperate to go to college in order to join the police force that he slept with a rich businessman to pay his way through school."

"How would he know about that?" Rose growled, "That was a long, long time ago." He was sickened to see Goldsmith smile slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching into a victorious smirk now he had Berkley listening. "Oh you know… I'd had a few drinks, loosened my tongue… you came on the TV and Daniel commented how handsome you were. I couldn't resist telling him that I'd had you; the big, important commissioner of New York's twenty-seventh precinct."

Rose swallowed hard, disgusted at how someone he'd grown to consider a friend could turn on him so viciously. "He was very impressed," Goldsmith continued, "He wanted to know all the gory details. I just couldn't turn him down; not when he was offering to make it worth my while." He flinched as Rose stood quickly and for a split second thought the younger man was about to hit him. "Now don't be foolish Berkley. He may not have told Liam at all. By all accounts Liam was quite disgusted by Daniel's homosexuality so he may not have talked to him about our liaisons. Just go and interview that detective of yours and find out what he knows. It could all be a storm in a teacup but it's better to be on the safe side, don't you agree?"

Rose turned to face the window, studying the twinkling lights of the city and wishing he were anywhere but here. "So how _did_ you find out that he had been rescued?" he asked finally, his tone leaden in defeat. He didn't turn round when Goldsmith answered but mentally sighed as the other man said, "Helena has a friend that works at the hospital. She mentioned they had a new patient whose identity was being withheld in case the media found out. I guessed it was him."

Despite asking to know, Rose didn't seem to be listening as he was finally given the answer. "You said that Daniel may not have told Liam about me. In that case I'm safe right?"

"Safe from them," the millionaire said coldly, "But not safe from me." In response to Rose's stunned expression, Goldsmith shook his head at the blond man's naivety. "If you don't help me and I go down then I'll personally make sure you come too Berkley."

Rose returned to staring out of the window, gripping the frame for support, feeling as if he wanted to vomit. "So what exactly do you suggest I do if Dee knows about all this?" he asked quietly, knowing that he had little choice but to do as he was told.

He turned as he heard Goldsmith stand and then walk to the door. "That's for you to decide Berkley. Bribe him, fire him, kill him, I don't care. Now I'm going home. My wife's waiting for me." The younger man snorted at the absurd sentiment as he watched his former friend step out into the corridor beyond. "I'll be in touch," Goldsmith said finally before he shut the door and walked away leaving Rose alone in his office to ponder exactly how he was going to fix this potentially catastrophic mess.

TBC…


	13. Daniel, Come to Judgement

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 13 – Daniel, Come to Judgement.

The dark haired young man glanced around the abandoned former office in disbelief. He'd arrived, half expecting to find his captive dead since he'd looked so goddamned awful last time he'd seen him but this was completely unexpected. As he stood, staring at the space where the detective's shackled body had been slumped only yesterday evening, he had to wonder whether the three quarters of a bottle of Tequila he'd drunk was to blame for what he saw, or rather what he _didn't_ see.

"Fuck," he spat, pushing a hand through his thick brown hair as he squinted to try and refocus his eyes, suddenly coming to the conclusion that the last thing he needed was a body filled with alcohol when clearly something was amiss. This was bad, he knew. He'd come tonight with the intention of murdering his hostage, if of course the man wasn't dead already. The police hadn't 'dealt' and his brother was still in custody with the charges of attempted kidnapping no closer to being dropped. Whether he would actually have been able to go through with the crime of murder in the first he didn't know, hence the copious amount of neat alcohol to bolster his flagging nerve, but now he'd never find out.

"Shit. Shit. Shit," he said, turning quickly, realising that the only way his hostage could have left was if someone had rescued him. "Daniel you prick, you better not have told them…"

"So his name's Daniel is it?" a voice said from behind him, causing him to spin round to where he was greeted by the sight of several police officers, some uniformed and some not all pointing guns at him, their expressions deadly. "I suggest you put your hands in the air if you want to live to tell Daniel what a prick he is to his face." The instruction sounded jovial but the man who uttered it had a glint in his eye that no way indicated humour.

Not drunk enough to think he was invincible, the young man did as he was told before several of the cops rushed forward and shoved him to the ground, cuffing his hands behind his back before he had time to contemplate what was happening. Once he was secured they hauled him upright and began to search his clothing for possible weapons, eventually locating the small handgun in the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

"JJ," the officer who found it said, turning to the stony faced man behind him. "Check it out." JJ took the weapon from him and released the catch, confirming that the gun was loaded. "What exactly did you intend to do with this?" he asked coldly, having to use every ounce of his willpower to stop himself from beating the man to death with the lump of metal in his hand.

The dark haired young man simply stared as JJ stood before him, fuming at what he could only guess would have befallen Dee had he still been held prisoner. "You're in one whole heap of shit my friend," he growled, before he jerked his head in the direction of the only exit. "Put him in the car. I'm taking him in." Several of the uniformed cops nodded as one of them shoved the suspect to start him walking. JJ watched as they filed out through the door, one of the other detectives reading the young man his rights as they went. When they'd gone, a hand came to rest on his shoulder and he turned to see Ted watching him in concern. "You can relax now," the other man said gently, "We got him."

"He hurt Dee," JJ replied almost inaudibly as they started to walk together towards the exit. "Shit, Ted! Was he going to kill him?"

The other man shrugged; his own expression dark at the thought, before he pushed aside the negativity. "Dee's safe, he's on the mend and this bastard's going to jail. Let's not think about what _could_ have been, huh?"

JJ glanced across at him and smiled, grateful for the support. "You're right, Ted, you're absolutely right." He laughed suddenly, feeling nothing short of victorious. "We got the bastard! Look who has the last laugh!"

They were forced to stop short when one of the other officers almost ran into them as re-entered the musty building. The young man looked nervous as he looked first at Ted before his gaze came to rest on JJ. "Uh Sir… The, uh, the suspect's just thrown up in your car."

JJ glanced across at Ted, who was fighting down the smirk that threatened to split his features. "Don't say a word," JJ growled warningly as Ted shrugged his shoulders innocently. The other man did as he was told, but couldn't resist whistling the old Sinatra song 'They All Laughed' until he reached the line 'Who's got the last laugh now?' when he broke into a fit of giggles as JJ smacked him around the head.

"Here," JJ grumbled, thrusting his cell phone at Ted. "Phone Ryo and let him know. He'll probably want to tell Dee."

Ted did as instructed, frowning when there was no answer on either home or cell phone. "Maybe he's at the hospital," he mused before he ended the second unsuccessful call and handed the phone back to JJ. "Oh well, he'll know soon enough when he gets in work tomorrow."

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It wasn't long before the buzz around the precinct surrounding the arrest of the second suspect in the Latener kidnapping case reached the ears of the harried commissioner the next morning. If Goldsmith was right, this would be Liam; older brother of the millionaire's former rent boy and deeply bitter partner in crime. Now they had both in custody but still no one knew anything about them but as he stared blankly at the insignificant financial reports on his desk, suddenly unable to concentrate on meaningless facts and figures, Rose had an ominous suspicion that that wouldn't last for much longer.

Firstly, he had to deal with the press conference. It had been planned for the coming afternoon anyway; although the content would now be subject to change since they had the second suspect in custody. The media could now know that Dee was safe since they didn't have to worry about scaring off the kidnapper and the ensuing frenzy would be inevitable. The general public's interest had already been piqued with the involvement of the celebrity family, the Goldsmiths, and the fact that this saga was far from over was bound to leave them salivating for more.

They would prosecute the younger boy on a charge of suspicion of crime and his brother for the same, plus kidnapping and assault of a police officer. The older boy would receive a significant sentence for the second crime and Rose didn't doubt that he already knew it. The thought made him edgy. If Liam knew he was going down then why not take everyone else with him? Goldsmith would be first but then he, Rose, would surely be next. If the suspects disclosed that Dee was privy to this information then he would be made to testify against his own boss and for some reason, he couldn't quite shake the feeling that the angry detective would take extreme pleasure in doing so, not that Rose could blame him.

His own feelings for Ryo made them bitter rivals and he had never made any secret of the fact that he would jump into Dee's shoes should the opportunity ever arise. He had pulled rank many times in order to separate the two lovers and he knew that Dee would not be quick to forget such underhand tactics when Rose needed him. Even if Dee knew nothing about his own murky past there was every chance he would know about Goldsmith's and that would still spell trouble. Goldsmith would take him down himself if someone else hadn't done it for him. Massaging his closed eyelids, Rose reluctantly accepted what he had to do; it was time to go and pay Dee a visit.

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The dream Dee awoke from was enough to leave him physically shaking. He swallowed hard and sat up, rubbing his eyes vigorously to banish the images of his nightmare to the recesses of his mind. There was a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead which he blotted with one bandaged wrist as the door opened and a nurse stepped in, her face breaking into a friendly smile seeing her patient was awake.

"Good morning, Dee," she said brightly as she walked towards his bed, "Did you sleep well?"

"Not really," he replied vaguely, avoiding her gaze by looking out of the window. He really didn't need company as the memory of his nightmare lingered but she was doing her job and he couldn't tell her to leave. "I just need to change your bandages," she explained, sensing his unease at her presence.

Obediently, Dee held his arms out to allow her access to the bandaged limbs. He still didn't turn from the window as she started to unravel the first dressing, knowing how he must look after crying himself to sleep the previous evening. To ease the tension, she made small talk, asking occasional questions that never really required answers as she cleaned the healing wounds and re-covered them with fresh gauze. Once she had attended to both limbs she carefully peeled back the dressing on his cheek to examine whether there was any improvement in the damaged flesh. Dee sat silently the whole time, staring but never really seeing anything as he thought of Ryo and wondered if he would be able to fix the mess he had created.

After she had finished taping the new piece of gauze to his face, the nurse made to leave, informing him that Dr Stephens would be along shortly to help him with his insulin. Dee sighed and nodded, knowing that the day was likely to see a constant procession of hospital professionals coming to work on whichever damaged part of him they specialised in. The kindly Dr Stephens did indeed arrive soon after, frowning as she took in his pallid features and red-rimmed eyes. Sensing he didn't want to talk about it, she got down to business, showing him how to take his blood glucose levels and calculate his dose of insulin accordingly. This time, Dee was required to prepare the injection himself, which he did with nervous hands, fumbling the equipment and at one point dropping the vial containing the drug as he tried to fill the syringe.

"I can't do this," he growled bitterly as the doctor retrieved the container from where it had rolled under the bed. "It's too hard."

With well practised patience, Dr Stephens showed him where he'd gone wrong and handed the vial back to him to try again. "Come on, Dee," she said encouragingly, "You were almost there. Don't give up because it wasn't plain sailing first time round."

"You mean I _can't_ give up," Dee replied flatly, "It's not like I've got a choice or anything."

"That too," she said, still smiling as she passed him the syringe. Fortunately, Dee had no further difficulties as he prepared the dose and injected it into his stomach like the doctor had shown him the previous evening. He listened carefully as she explained that he could also inject into his arms and legs, although this would result in a slower reaction from the insulin. Not wanting to overload him with too much information in one go, Dr Stephens talked with him for another twenty minutes or so before the door opened and a nurse entered, bringing his breakfast on a tray which she placed before him on the table that fitted over his bed. Dee surveyed the food warily, noting it looked much more like something Ryo would eat than he would, with the small well-balanced helpings of cereal, fruit and whole wheat toast.

"To be honest I'm not really hungry…" he started to say before the sight of his female doctor shaking her head stopped him.

"Uh uh, wrong answer," she said, although there was sympathy in her tones. "You've got to remember now that you're eating for your body's benefit, not your brain's. You might not feel like eating but just remember what that will do to your blood glucose level if you don't." Seeing that she was prepared to stand over him and watch him eat, Dee picked up the spoon and began to eat the cereal before it got any soggier. Satisfied that he would do as he was told, the two female medics left him to eat in peace.

When his door opened again some time later, Dee was placing mental bets with himself about which professional it would be next; it was too early for the physiotherapists to be involved as the plaster cast on his leg needed to stay on for at least six weeks so he decided it had to be the plastic surgeon, come to talk to him about the skin graft he was likely to need to repair the wound on his face. The female that entered however wasn't wearing a white coat and when she turned to close the door behind her, Dee caught the word 'psychiatrist' on the identity badge clipped to the bottom of her smart jacket. She looked to be in her late twenties, with attractive doll-like features and fiery red hair that tumbled down her back in luscious waves.

"Detective Latener?" she said politely as she smiled and offered him her hand. "My name's Polly Andrews and I'm…"

"A shrink… I know. I saw your badge," he said flatly, ignoring the outstretched hand. She withdrew the appendage and sat down in the chair next to his bed, not the least bit put off by his hostile greeting; clearly this was something that happened a lot in her line of work.

He glared at her for a moment before he spoke, the words accompanied by a slightly threatening tone that matched the expression on his face. She looked timid and he hoped he'd be able to scare her away fairly easily. "Look, I don't know what they've said but I…"

"Don't need a shrink," she said, finishing his sentence off for him, still smiling sweetly.

He glowered at her for several seconds longer before he turned to stare sullenly out of the window, hoping that if he ignored her for long enough, she would get bored and go away.

"I understand how negative it seems when someone recommends you see a psychiatrist but really we're just an ear to listen when you've had something happen that you may need to talk about. I can be objective and give you advice if you ask for it but I prefer to just listen."

"Well thanks for the offer but I don't need advice, or an ear, or whatever the hell else you're thinking of offering. I'm fine."

She opened her mouth to speak but Dee pre-empted her as she took a breath. "Look, don't you think I have enough on my plate at the moment? I was kidnapped and chained to a wall for five days. I have a broken leg for the second time in six months, a facial wound that will require plastic surgery and an incurable illness that I'll have to learn to manage for the rest of my life. Why the hell would I need to deal with a shrink on top of all that?"

Polly studied his angry face for a moment and smiled placidly. "I think you just answered your own question there, Detective Latener."

The statement hung in the air for several long moments before Dee responded, his voice flat and emotionless. "What makes you think you can help me?" he said quietly but the challenge was clear in his voice.

"I'm not saying I'll be able to help you," she replied gently but firmly, "but I think you at least deserve the option of trying. Some people do make it through extremely difficult events in their lives without professional help but others find it affects them for a long time afterwards, sometimes even for the rest of their lives. They don't realise that something that happened to them even a long time ago can still be affecting their decisions and judgement. They push away the people they need the most and end up more alone and isolated than they were before."

Dee looked away, his heart lurching as he thought of Ryo and how he'd treated him almost every time he'd seen him since he'd regained consciousness. "I don't want to be like that," he whispered almost inaudibly but she heard it anyway.

"Well that's good," she said supportively, "You've identified that you don't want what's happened to you over the last week to colour the rest of your life. You've taken the first step already, Detective Latener."

"It's Dee," he said, turning to look at her at last, his face a blank mask. "Please… call me Dee."

The attractive redhead smiled warmly and nodded, sensing that he had gone a little way to accepting her support. "Okay, Dee," she said studying his tired face. "I'll talk as much or as little as you want me to. If we hit on a subject that's too painful at the moment then just say and we can revisit it at a later date. I'm here to support _you_ Dee, not say whether I think you're fit to work or anything like that. Everything between us is strictly confidential."

Dee nodded, appreciating her straightforward manner and re-evaluating his initial opinion that she seemed too 'wet' to be of any use to him. "Okay… so what do we talk about?" He suddenly looked awkward and a little embarrassed. "I don't think I'm ready to talk what's just happened to me… it's too difficult."

"That's fine," she said soothingly, settling back in her chair to encourage him to relax too. "Why don't you tell me why you decided against telling me to hit the road just then? Would that be okay?"

She watched as Dee bit his lip and turned away for a few seconds. Outside he could see several birds perched on a narrow ledge on the building opposite and he wondered whether they had as many problems in life as humans. "My partner has been to see me several times and every time I've ended up asking him to leave." He paused and his expression looked pained. "I get mad at the slightest thing he says and… last night when we had a fight he thought I was going to hit him."

Polly nodded thoughtfully and when he didn't continue, she took the opportunity to ask a question. "So how did that make you feel?"

"Angry," he said quickly, his green eyes flashing before a sadness passed over them, "And worthless. I'd never lay a finger on Ryo and he knows that. He could knock me into the middle of next week if we got into a fight but that's not the reason I wouldn't hit him. I love him and I'd never do anything to hurt him. Why can't he see that?"

"Because all he saw was your anger and not the real you?" she replied, fielding the question back to him. When he looked a little confused, she elaborated. "Your partner knows you've been through a highly unusual experience; one that he's never seen you have to deal with before, therefore he's making allowances that you may react in a way that's out of character for you. Everything he knows about you has gone out the window so he may think you're capable of things that you'd never normally dream of doing. He probably feels like he's treading on eggshells when he's around you. Does that make sense?"

Dee looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded. "I guess so, but it's like I can't stop myself. I just get angrier and angrier and he's usually the nearest person to take it out on even though he's been through a pretty tough time himself."

"Has he told you that?" Polly asked, her expression and tone remaining supportive and non-judgemental.

"Kind of," Dee replied, picking at some lint on the bed sheet. "Since the kidnapping's been all over the news. I think he's found the attention hard to deal with." He looked up to see the female psychiatrist waiting for him to continue. "This is Ryo's first gay relationship," he explained, "He still finds it difficult to tell people so I imagine having it broadcast to thousands on the news wasn't much fun for him. I feel guilty that I wasn't able to protect him from that."

"That's a natural reaction, Dee. We all want to protect those we love from pain just like Ryo is probably hurting badly that he couldn't stop you from being taken."

"That wasn't his fault," Dee said defensively, "We thought _he_ was the one in danger, not me."

"You're right; it's irrational that he should feel guilty about what's happened, just as it's irrational for you to feel guilty about not being there when the media were hounding him. The blame lies squarely with the person that decided to kidnap you and you both need to recognise that instead of trying to shoulder the burden yourselves." She paused and glanced at him to check he was listening. "It sounds straightforward but guilt can sometimes become a bit of a contest, you know, who can feel the guiltiest? We think we're helping the other person by trying to shoulder all the responsibility ourselves but in reality, we're preventing the blame, if of course there _is_ someone to blame, from being apportioned correctly."

Dee contemplated this for a moment, thinking how many times he'd seen victims of crime think they were in some way responsible for what had happened. He'd helped support rape and robbery victims who'd blamed themselves for allowing the crime to happen, reassuring them time and time again that they had nothing to feel guilty about. Practising what he preached however was proving to be somewhat harder. "I did get angry with Ryo for apologising," he admitted after a pause. "It's just something he instinctively does when he feels backed into a corner. Even when it couldn't possibly be his fault, he tries to apologise."

"That irritates you, huh?" she replied, smiling slightly as he rolled his eyes.

"Hell yeah, he's just too damn nice!" Dee said, pushing his long dark bangs away from his eyes.

"But you wouldn't change him for the world right?"

Dee paused and smiled, seeing what she was getting at. "No… no I wouldn't. I waited two years to get a chance with Ryo and…" He stopped suddenly as the memory of Ryo's distressed visage floated into his mind, an image created only the previous evening. "I was going to say that I don't intend to blow it with him but I probably already have. The way I spoke to him last night…" he trailed off, shaking his head sadly. "I wouldn't blame him if he never comes back."

"Oh, I'm sure he will," Polly assured him, "If he's as nice as you say he is. We just need to work through this anger so you don't do the same thing again."

Dee was in the process of agreeing when there was a knock at the door. Thinking it would be a nurse or doctor coming to check on him again he said, "Come in," after glancing quickly at Polly to check it was okay with her. They both watched as the door opened and a blond head poked around the frame before the rest of his body followed it into the room. Polly merely smiled, unfamiliar with the newcomer, but she concluded he wasn't Dee's lover judging by the frown the bed-bound man gave him. Her suspicions were proved correct when Dee said, "Commissioner Rose. What are you doing here?"

Sensing this was important, Polly stood and smoothed down her skirt. "Well I guess we're done for now. I'll see you again tomorrow if you like." Dee nodded, his attention drawn from Rose for the moment. "I would. Thank you, Ms Andrews and I'm sorry about before… when you first came in."

Polly smiled as she knelt down and picked up her briefcase. "No problem… and it's Polly, really."

Dee nodded as she pushed her flame coloured hair over her shoulder and turned to leave. She smiled at the handsome man stood in the doorway as he stepped back to let her pass, before frowning once out of the room when he didn't return her friendly gesture. She paused and almost turned around to see if Dee wanted her to stay but the door was already shut. Letting out a sigh, she hoped that the blond visitor wasn't about to undo all the good work they'd just started as she set off down the corridor, thinking a strong cup of coffee was in order.

TBC…


	14. The Kiss of Judas

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 14 – The Kiss of Judas

Inside the private room, Rose was still waiting for the invitation to sit down but Dee wasn't about to give it as he returned to staring out of the window. The silence was awkward and Rose knew he had to break it soon. "So… how are you feeling?" he said, shedding his jacket to let Dee know he intended to stay. "Have the doctors said how long you're likely to be kept in?"

Dee shook his head, unable to provide a verbal response to the question as he tried to figure out exactly what Rose was doing here. He turned from the window to see Rose settling into the chair that the psychiatrist had just vacated. "Have a seat," he said, unable to miss the opportunity for sarcasm. Rose studied the battered face for a moment, thinking that maybe he'd underestimated just how difficult this would be. The younger man looked pale and gaunt and inextricably older than his twenty nine years as he glared at Rose, clearly communicating that he wasn't particularly pleased to see his senior at his bedside, two days into his recovery.

Rose however was not to be deterred. He needed to know exactly what the detective knew about Goldsmith, the kidnapping… and anything else his captor might have told him. "I know it's probably not easy Dee," he said, trying to sound as sympathetic as possible "but we need to know what happened to you."

Dee narrowed his eyes; understandably suspicious. "So you're here to take my statement?" he asked. "Any particular reason why you came? Are we so horribly understaffed with me in hospital that the commissioner has to do regular police work keep the department afloat?"

Rose shot him a hard look. "No, but I think the kidnapping of one of our detectives warrants a thorough investigation don't you?"

Dee snorted and made a face, wincing as the wound on his face protested at the movement. "Why do I get the feeling I'm being bullshitted here? You just wanna see whether I've gone crazy so you've finally got an excuse to sack me."

"That's crap," Rose snapped, irritated by the other man's belligerence. "I just don't want to see whoever did this to you to get away with it. Is that so wrong? I'd do the same for any of my men."

"I'm sure," Dee growled as a memory surfaced from his time in captivity. "Although I'm sure if it was Ryo lying here you'd be doing a lot more than sitting here trying to ask a few stupid questions."

Rose's eyes narrowed in response. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means the guy that kidnapped me said he'd seen the way you looked at Ryo. Like a hungry wolf he said. Now why d'you suppose he said that huh?"

Rose found himself on the end of a hard green eyed stare that he had to look away from. So the kidnapper _had_ been talking to Dee about him. His blood ran cold at the thought that his deepest secret could now be in the knowledge of someone who all but hated him. He needed to know how much Dee knew and fast. "I don't know why he'd say that," Rose eventually replied, trying to keep his voice even. "I'd never try anything with Ryo. Frankly I'm insulted that you think I'd try while he's in a relationship. I do have _some_ standards you know."

Dee looked at him doubtfully, already wearied of this verbal tussling. His leg was aching and the skin under the bandages on his wrists was starting to knit together, making them itch like crazy. The last thing he needed was a headache caused by this pointless encounter. Rose was here for a reason; but he couldn't work out why with the other man sat there staring at him. He needed to buy himself some thinking time.

"Commissioner?" he said suddenly, "Could you go and let one of the nurses know that I need to use the bathroom?" He managed to maintain the innocent expression on his face as Rose contemplated whether he was being taken for a ride or not. Eventually the other man nodded and stood, deciding that he needed to keep Dee as sweet as possible if he was to get the information that he needed. He left the room before returning shortly with a nurse in tow, who moved around the bed and helped Dee transfer himself into a wheelchair.

"Back in a sec," Dee said, offering Rose a forced smile as he passed by on his way to the bathroom. Once the nurse had helped him into a standing position in front of the toilet and closed the door behind her, Dee turned his attention to trying to figure out exactly why Rose was sat outside, waiting for him to pee instead of saying he would come back another time. Gritting his teeth, he used the grab handles attached to the wall to turn himself around and lower his body onto the toilet so he could sit down and think properly. After several moments, all deeply painful as he forced himself to recall his days spent shackled and in agony, he suddenly realised why Rose was here. Henry Goldsmith.

His captor had told him things about Rose's good friend; how he wasn't as virtuous as he made out and how _he_ was responsible for the kidnapping instead of the notorious De Luca family. This realisation presented a whole host of questions of its own. Did Rose know what Goldsmith had planned all along or had the commissioner been fooled too? Dee could feel the beginnings of a headache forming as he dropped his head into his hands and started to massage his temples as he tried to decide how much to tell Rose.

"Dee? Are you okay in there?" A voice asked from the other side of the door, startling him from his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm nearly done," he called back to the nurse as he hauled himself up again and flushed the chain to complete his pretence. Once he had lowered himself back into the wheelchair he announced that the nurse could come in to assist him in getting back to bed. As she wheeled him out of the bathroom, his eyes fell upon Rose, still sat stiffly in the visitor's chair, waiting for him to return. He sat patiently and watched as the nurse helped Dee into bed, bearing the weight of his casted leg as he got himself comfortable again with several grunts of pain and curses under his breath. Eventually the nurse left and Rose decided to jump straight in, feeling enough time had been wasted already.

"Yesterday evening, the man who held you prisoner was apprehended at the factory where he was keeping you. We have him Dee, but we need to know what happened to you in order to prosecute him."

Dee looked stunned, verbally unable to express his thoughts at that time. Of course he wanted the bastard bringing to justice but he hadn't yet been able to bring himself to contemplate the ordeal of a trial. "You… you caught him?" he said in disbelief. He watched as Rose nodded, his expression by no means indicating that he was pleased about this turn of events. "Yes, but this is likely to cause some problems and I think you know why."

Dee eyes went wide before his expression turned stormy. "You _knew_?" he spat, realising that one of his questions had now been answered. "And you let us go out there and risk our lives for a goddamned setup?"

"No," Rose said before the furious detective could continue. "When I gave you the case I knew as much as you. It was only after you were rescued that Henry came to me and told me everything."

Dee stared hard at his superior for a moment. "Pardon me for saying Sir but you have real shitty taste in friends."

Rose ignored the comment as he pushed his glasses further up his nose. "I need to know what he told you," he said matter-of-factly.

Dee turned to the window, trying to organise his jumbled thoughts. His captor had spoke to him, at length on some occasions, but with his fever and prolonged period of agonising pain it was difficult to remember the precise details of their interactions. Being forced to recall his ordeal in an already agitated state was proving stressful and Dee could feel his heart rate increasing as a result. Flashes of his nightmarish existence pounded his brain and Dee could feel his sanity slipping a little as he started to tremble under the strain. Rose watched as the other man gripped the bed sheets; his face a grim mask as he battled his emotions and for brief moment he almost felt guilty for what he was doing, but he had to know.

"Dee," Rose said finally, "Did he tell you how they knew Henry?"

Dee fought his stormy emotions as he nodded his head. He didn't know why he felt so vulnerable and the instability of his emotions scared him but he sure as hell wasn't going to get all weepy in front of Rose. "Yes… he said his brother was a rent-boy that Goldsmith took a shine to. He arranged for them to do the kidnapping." He paused, allowing Rose chance to dispute his words but the other remained silent. "I'm guessing that's no surprise to you then."

Rose shook his head. "That's what Henry told me too."

"Good, because it's the truth."

Rose raised an eyebrow carefully, demanding clarification. He watched as Dee swallowed nervously before he put voice to a memory. "When… when I asked him a second time about the kidnapping I said that I didn't believe that Goldsmith was responsible for it so he called him up on his cell phone. He made me listen while he taunted him and eventually Goldsmith incriminated himself, calling him a stupid bastard for kidnapping me and screwing up the original plan."

Rose pondered this for a moment, making no attempt to fill the void of silence.

"So what exactly is this about commissioner?" Dee asked, finding his strength once more, "I mean, now we've established that your friend is a lying bastard, what do you expect me to do about it?"

Rose took a deep breath. Dee hadn't mentioned that he knew potentially damaging things about him and he desperately wanted to keep it that way, but in order to ask him to protect Goldsmith he had to explain why it was so important. "When it comes to trial, the brothers are likely to try and take various other people down with them, including Goldsmith. You'll of course be made to testify…"

He never finished the sentence as Dee interrupted him angrily. "And you're concerned that your precious friend will pay crimes that he _did_ actually commit?" He swept a hand through his dark hair in irritation. "Jesus Rose, so far I'm not seeing much of a problem here."

"I know," Rose said quietly, realising that he was about to strip himself of his dignity whether he liked it or not, "Henry does deserve to be jailed but… if that happens then he intends to make things difficult for me."

Dee looked up from where he had been staring at the zig-zag patterns on the bed cover. "Meaning?" he snapped.

"Meaning… he knows about things in my past that I'm not proud of."

"So you're telling me to _lie_ about what I know about Goldsmith?"

"I'm _asking_ you," Rose corrected as if that made any difference. Now was the time to use his trump card. "Because if I'm removed from my post then Ryo will never get that promotion he's after."

Dee's emerald eyes flashed angrily as he thought about Ryo's dream job, due to be vacated by the current holder when he retired in two months time. "Ryo's a dead cert to make the co-ordinator of the armed response unit. It doesn't matter who the commissioner is."

"Not so," Rose said shaking his head. "Do you remember when Ryo first came to the precinct and he rescued you and Bicky from that dealer's house by planting explosives in the attic? That went on his file but I've always let it go, knowing he was a damn good detective who acted rashly on one occasion. If I was to leave then I'm sure a replacement commissioner wouldn't be prepared to overlook such an extreme incident, particularly if the person in question was wanting the responsibility of overseeing a group of elite armed officers." He paused and stared hard at Dee to check the other man was listening. "In fact, they may even want to investigate it anyway, possibly leading to a demotion from his current position in homicide. I don't think he'd suit desk duties, do you?"

Dee was seething, his chest heaving in and out as he took in exactly what Rose was saying. "You're _blackmailing _me?" he said in disbelief, resisting the urge to reach across and punch Rose hard in the face.

"Oh come on Dee," Rose said wearily, waving a hand dismissively. "Don't be so melodramatic. Let's say we're just engaging in some mutual professional back scratching."

Dee snorted angrily. "I prefer the term 'blackmail'." He turned to the window as he thought of how much Ryo was chasing the promotion to the head of the armed response team. As a born organiser and the precinct's best shot, he seemed the obvious choice and it seemed unfair that one indiscretion that occurred almost three years ago would prevent him from achieving his dream. He spoke after a long silence, his voice weary at the decision he had already made. "What if I keep quiet but they still find out about… whatever it is you did?"

Rose pondered this. "Then I'll personally destroy that record in Ryo's file before I'm forced to leave. Whether I leave or not you can't lose. I'll make sure that that record is no longer an issue for Ryo."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"You have my word. I've been honest with you about this. You can see what I've got to lose." He stood up and pulled on his jacket before he headed for the door. "I trust you won't share the details of this meeting with anyone Dee, not even Ryo." With his hand resting on the handle he turned back and looked at the bed-bound man, for once his expression genuinely remorseful. "Believe me; I'm not proud of any of this Dee."

And then he was gone, leaving Dee to stare blankly at the now closed door.

With one last day of paid vacation time Ryo sat on the park bench, idly watching the world pass him by as he reflected on the recent events that had turned his world upside down. One minute, he and Dee had been blissfully happy; successfully proving that despite their many personal differences, they could live together and remain so completely in love and the next, they were forced to contemplate a new future, one of which neither of them was prepared for. He loved Dee so much he didn't care what was wrong with him but he sensed that it mattered very much to Dee himself.

His lover had told him a little about his past; how he'd been abandoned and, apart from the intervention of Penguin and Jess Latener, how he had practically raised himself. Dee hated showing any sign of weakness; he very rarely admitted to any pain and shrugged off most bouts of illness with well practised nonchalance. To know that he, Dee the infallible, had a condition he couldn't dismiss so easily was no doubt partly responsible for his sudden mood swings and Ryo told himself to remember that no matter how Dee treated him when he saw him next. He knew Dee loved him; he was just hurting badly but Ryo desperately wanted to show him depth of his commitment, whatever the circumstances.

His attention was drawn by a commotion occurring away to his left. He turned, squinting as the sun dazzled him as it burst between the leafy boughs, and shielded his eyes to see a horse-drawn carriage making its way through the park towards the ornamental gardens in the centre. The horses were both exceedingly magnificent; two sturdy greys with proud heads and long flowing manes, entwined with pink and yellow flowers. The carriage they pulled behind them was black with shiny gold fittings, also adorned with the same flowers. The driver was dressed smartly in top hat and tails as he guided the horses towards their destination and riding in the back were a young couple, obviously bride and groom, beaming at the beauty of their surroundings and the excitement about the new life they had just begun as husband and wife.

Seeing their happiness, Ryo couldn't help but smile as he watched the carriage stop and the driver climb out to help the bride from her seat. She looked truly beautiful as she stepped down from the coach, her long flowing gown trailing across the grass behind her as she clutched her bouquet of flowers and gazed lovingly at her new husband as he followed her out into the gardens. After several moments, a man appeared with a camera on a strap around his neck and a large bag of equipment in his hand. The photographer then proceeded to set up, instructing the happy couple on where to stand in order to achieve the most desirable pictures.

So engrossed in witnessing this wonderful occasion, Ryo didn't notice as two women sat down on the bench beside him. A quick glance told him that they were related; the younger of the two looked strikingly similar although her hair was still shiny and black where the other's was greying slightly at the temples. When they noticed what was going on, they started to talk about marriage, evidently with differing opinions on the value of such a union.

"It's wonderful, don't you think?" the first woman said, smiling broadly as she gazed dreamily at the couple as they embraced for a photograph.

"Hn," came the non-committal reply as the younger of the two folded her arms across her chest sulkily. "Don't see what's so great about it. It's just a bit of paper after all."

Ryo glanced around as the older woman snorted. "That's typical of your generation. Marriage isn't _just_ a bit of paper. It's about showing to the world that you're seriously committed to one person for the rest of your life; for better or worse, 'til death us do part'. It's _so_ much more than paper Amy." She saw Ryo watching the couple up ahead and leaned across her daughter. "Are you married?" she asked the handsome man, smiling brightly.

Ryo blushed slightly. "No… no I'm not."

"But I'm sure you will right?" the woman persisted, evidently looking for support in her argument.

"Mother…" the girl said, rolling her eyes in embarrassment.

Ryo blushed even harder. "I'd like to… but I don't think it'll happen." He ducked his head, wondering whether the day would ever come when he'd be able to look people in the eye when he told them about himself. "I… I have a male partner." He expected a negative reaction, particularly from the older woman who was so clearly 'pro-marriage' but she merely smiled in response. "I see," she said thoughtfully. "Well that doesn't mean you can't be committed to each other."

Ryo smiled, relieved that she was so positive. "It's nice to meet understanding people," he said with all sincerity.

"My nephew is gay," the woman replied without a hint of embarrassment. "He recently got married although they're not allowed to call it a marriage. It's a 'civil union'." She rolled her eyes and made inverted commas with her fingers as she said the last two words. "It doesn't matter though. They've still shown that they're committed to each other, even if it isn't legally recognised."

"Yeah…" Ryo said vaguely as his mind started to race with possibilities. He had wanted a way to show Dee he was committed to him; what better way than offering him a lifetime of devotion? He stood without thinking, thanking the woman who smiled and nodded although she wasn't sure exactly what she'd done, and headed out of the park, already set on his next destination.

The public library was a large imposing looking building set a mere stone's throw away from the park. Ryo entered the cool foyer, pausing to read the building map near the door before he headed up to the second floor to where the public access computers were located. Forty minutes later he left, armed with a wealth of information about same-sex unions and what they could be legally entitled to. He was thoroughly glad he came, having found the information very enlightening. With Dee being in hospital, he had had no problems gaining access to him but only because he was a police officer and the injured party was his partner at work. If he had just been Dee's 'boyfriend', the story would have been very different and the realisation left Ryo cold.

Fortunately New York seemed to be further on than some states in recognising same-sex unions with the passing of the Domestic Partners Bill but Ryo wanted something more; some kind of ceremony so they could declare their love publicly. The more he thought about it, the more he became convinced it was just what Dee needed right now, while he was feeling so low. He'd found a site of a Presbyterian church that offered same-sex joining ceremonies here in New York and it looked perfect so he'd printed off the information for Dee to look at. All he had to do now was get the other man to say yes…

As he stepped back out into the bright sunshine, he reached inside his jacket for his cell phone, which he'd turned off whilst he was in the library. As the device turned on, Ryo jumped as it started to ring in his hand.

"Hello?" he said, holding it to his ear, his heart lurching as it had done every time his phone had rung over the last week or so.

"Ryo?" the voice said, sounding relieved, "It's Drake. I've been trying to get hold of you since last night!"

"Sorry, I was at the hospital and now I've just been in the library. What's wrong?"

"I just thought you should know. We caught the guy that kidnapped Dee. Ted and JJ were on watch when he showed up at the factory last night."

Ryo smiled, feeling that things were starting to look much brighter. "That's great."

"But…" Drake said, and Ryo immediately recognised the solemnity of his tone, "Rose went to interview Dee this morning at the hospital."

Moving aside to let a large group of school children past, Ryo's face creased into a deep frown. "What?! I told him Dee wasn't ready to be interviewed!"

"I know," he heard Drake reply as the phone crackled briefly. "He didn't exactly make it common knowledge either. What the hell is he up to?"

"I intend to find out," Ryo growled, surprising himself with how aggressive he sounded. "I swear if he's upset Dee…"

"I know," Drake answered. "I just thought you should know."

"I'm going to the hospital now," Ryo said, having just decided. He ended the call as he ran back to his car; his speed owning to both anger and fear at what Rose might be up to now.

TBC…


	15. The Patience of Job

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 15 – The Patience of Job.

At the hospital Ryo headed to the ward Dee had been moved to the previous day. He went straight to Dee's room and knocked hesitantly, not knowing whether Rose was still there. Someone shouted 'come in' and he stepped into the room to find a lone nurse changing the bed sheets.

"Oh sorry," Ryo said contritely, "I was looking for Dee Latener, the man that was in this room?"

The woman in her early twenties straightened up as Ryo entered. "He's gone to the day room I think. It's just down the hall on your right." The nurse smiled and rolled her eyes. "I'd watch out though. He's in a pretty bad mood. He wanted to go somewhere for a cigarette but Dr Sims wouldn't let him. Dr Sims didn't really want him to be up and about so soon but he was threatening to discharge himself if he didn't get him some crutches."

Ryo returned the smile although he couldn't help but feel anxious that Rose's visit might have had something to do with Dee's black mood. Another part of him however was proud that Dee's fighting spirit seemed not to have been dampened any by his injuries.

After thanking the nurse, he set off back down the corridor to where she had directed, quickly finding the day room, occupied only by a solitary patient sat at the window, his casted leg resting upon a small coffee table as he stared out at the freedom he could only dream of at the moment.

"Dee?" Ryo said cautiously as he stepped into the room, not wanting to startle his lover.

Dee turned and smiled as he saw Ryo, his features flooding with relief. Ryo saw the expression and took it as green as he crossed the room and threw his arms around the other man. Happiness filled him as he felt the gesture being returned; Dee hugging him tightly as if he couldn't bring himself to let his lover go. When he did loosen his hold, Ryo reached up and gently took his battered face in his hands. "I love you Dee," he said softly, prepared to say it a million times if it helped his lover believe it.

Dee nodded almost imperceptibly. "I love you too," he replied, his small smile fading quickly. "I'm so glad you came Ryo. I thought… well, I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd never come back again after how I treated you yesterday. I don't know why I keep reacting like that but… well, I've seen a counsellor today. She seems nice and she thinks she can help me. I don't really like the idea of seeing a psychiatrist but if it stops me from scaring you away then I'll do it."

Ryo stroked his unblemished cheek lovingly; anxious to reassure the troubled man that he had no intentions of leaving him. "I'm here for the duration Dee. I'll only go if you insist that that's what you want." He paused and smiled warmly, his heart bursting with pride. "But even then I'll probably not believe you so I guess you're stuck with me."

Dee smiled and seemed to brighten at this news and Ryo felt so elated by this that he forgot all about why he'd rushed to the hospital in the first place. All he could think of was what he'd just been reading about and his plans to wait a little longer before he asked Dee suddenly went out of the window.

"Dee?" he said, breaking the silence that had descended, "There's something I want to talk to you about." His sudden nervousness as he started to fish in his pocket made Dee frown. Eventually he pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to his lover who took it from him and started to read. "Same-sex joining ceremonies?" he queried as he looked up from the print out. "Ryo? Are you…?"

"… Asking you to marry me?" Ryo answered, finishing his sentence for him. "Yes I am." Unable to contain his smile, he slipped off his seat and knelt before his lover, who still looked completely stunned. He took up one of Dee's hands and caressed it gently as he gazed up into those deep green eyes that mesmerised him every time he looked. "I love you so, so much Dee, I just want to show you how much I'm committed to you and our relationship. Please say you'll do me the honour of marrying me?"

There was no response as Dee continued to look stunned as he attempted to take in exactly what Ryo was asking him. Although he was bisexual, he'd never really contemplated marriage but he wasn't in any doubt that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Ryo; he'd just never considered making it all official. However as he looked down at his beautiful lover, his heart sank. He couldn't marry Ryo; not now. Being burdened with health problems was bad enough but the lies Rose was forcing him to tell were something else. He'd vowed never to keep things from his beloved partner and while he couldn't be honest with him… he couldn't marry him.

The prolonged silence was enough to tell Ryo he wasn't going to get the answer he desired. His smile slowly faded, replaced by a look of deep sadness. "Dee?" he said dejectedly, "Is that a no?"

The younger man covered his face with his hands; something Ryo noticed he was doing a lot lately when he didn't want to talk. He stayed that way for several moments before a muffled voice emanated from between his fingers. "I _do_ love you Ryo, it's just…"

"You don't want the commitment?"

"No!" he replied hastily, dropping his hands and allowing Ryo to see the sincerity in his eyes. "Officially or not, I'm committed to you until God drags me kicking and screaming off this earth. There's just too much going on at the moment for me…"

Ryo nodded glumly, mentally kicking himself for being too hasty when Dee clearly had so many other things to contend with. "I'm sorry Dee, I just thought it would cheer you up."

Dee smiled and pulled Ryo up off the floor and into his arms. "It has … _really _has. Just ask me again in a few months. How about that?"

Ryo smiled and nodded as he enveloped Dee in a loving embrace. Only once his face was out of Ryo's eyesight did Dee allow his own smile to slip as he thought of Rose and how he'd managed to come between them yet again.

Ryo stayed for a couple of hours, somehow managing to keep the conversation away from any of the topics that Dee seemed uncomfortable with. They talked about Bicky, the apartment, maybe taking a holiday when things had settled down. For a moment it seemed like there was nothing out of the ordinary, other than they were holding the conversation in a hospital day room. The kindly Dr Stephens stopped by at one point, bringing with her the small electronic device that would measure Dee's blood sugar level, which he did as Ryo watched on interestedly, eager to learn. The pin prick of blood showed his levels were fine and she left them alone shortly afterwards, informing Dee that she would be back just before he was due to have his evening meal to help him with his insulin. Their solitude was interrupted again shortly afterwards when Dr Sims entered the room, although he did come bearing good news. The surgery to repair the wound on Dee's face was scheduled for tomorrow and it was likely that the day after, he would be allowed home.

The two men greeted this news with huge smiles of relief. Dee hated hospitals and would have probably jumped at the chance of going to the moon if it meant not staying in a medical facility any longer. Ryo on the other hand just wanted his lover home as although he couldn't fault the care given to Dee by the nursing staff, he just _knew_ that the other man would make a speedier recovery, both physically and mentally, with his love and devotion. Eventually Ryo had to leave, acutely aware that Bicky had returned from school to an empty apartment far too many times lately for his liking.

Despite Dee turning down his proposal of marriage, albeit temporarily, Ryo couldn't help but think and hope that their fortunes were finally starting to turn around. They had the perpetrators of both the Goldsmith attempted kidnapping and Dee's abduction in custody and Dee himself seemed to be coming to terms with his illness and what had happened to him over the previous week. In his happiness he completely forgot to ask Dee about Rose's visit and it was only later, as he lay alone in bed, that he realised Dee had never once mentioned it to him while he was there. It seemed strange that he hadn't said anything but further contemplation was prevented as his weary body succumbed to the temptation of sleep.

Two days later, Ryo finally achieved his wish and had Dee back at home. There had been some journalists waiting outside the hospital as Dee was released but they were unsuccessful in gaining any information from the injured party as he was hurried into Ryo's car and driven away. Bicky was still at school as they reached the apartment; Ryo had deliberately planned it that way to give his lover time to readjust before the rambunctious teen got home. He held the door for Dee who hobbled into the apartment on his crutches before he picked up the other man's bags and made to follow him in but Dee had stopped. He seemed to have frozen; his expression blank as he surveyed the place he hadn't seen for almost a fortnight.

"Dee, are you okay?" Ryo asked from behind him.

Dee turned slightly and offered him a small smile. "Yeah… it's just a bit weird. I feel like I've been away forever."

Ryo put his bags back down and slipped his arms around the taller man's waist. "It's felt like forever not having you here," he said, speaking the words directly into Dee's ear. He tightened the embrace as he felt Dee lean against him, clearly wanting his support.

"Come on," Ryo said encouragingly as he let go of his lover and picked up the bags, "Let's get in so you can get your feet up."

"Ryo," Dee growled warningly as he took a few steps forward. "I don't need you fussing over me twenty four hours a day. You didn't need to take the day off work either."

Ryo watched as he moved around the apartment, taking in his surroundings as if it was all new to him. He still seemed tense and Ryo was sensitive not to upset his precarious emotions. Over the last few days Ryo had likened it to walking a tightrope. One minute he seemed to have perfect balance; talking and laughing with Dee as if nothing had ever changed and the next, one wrong comment would act like a sudden gust of wind and would send him tumbling. At that moment he was in danger of falling; he needed to regain his balance and fast.

"Well, I've got to go and put some washing in and stuff," Ryo said, unzipping Dee's holdall and pulling out the dirty clothes. He almost added 'shout me if you need anything' but this was all part of his rebalancing act and he held the comment back. Dee watched him pick up the clothes to be washed, slightly surprised that Ryo wasn't offering him any assistance. When his lover went into the kitchen, he plonked himself on the couch and sat there for several moments before realising that the television remote was, somewhat inconveniently, across the room on top of the television. His first instinct was to look around for Ryo but the other man had disappeared into the bedroom to collect his own dirty laundry. Reaching for his crutches, he hauled himself upright and hobbled across the living room to retrieve the device. Half way across the room, he caught sight of his reflection in the large mirror that hung over the fireplace.

Changing his direction, he manoeuvred himself in front of the glass so he could study his reflection. A wearied face stared back at him, partially obscured by the large piece of gauze taped across his left cheek. He had been assured that the skin graft had been a success and any scarring would be minimal but his reaction had been muted. He'd have taken a scar any day of the week over the life-long condition he was now having to come to terms with. As he contemplated his recent diagnosis, he thought nervously of what lay ahead in the next few hours. The hospital had deliberately waited until after lunch to discharge him so Dr Stephens, the diabetes specialist could be on hand to monitor his midday insulin injection. From almost as soon as he was diagnosed, Dee had handled them himself but this evening would be the first time he would have to do it without the doctor present. They had offered to send a nurse out to help him with his final injection of the day and the first away from the hospital but Dee had declined the service, feeling that the sooner he got on with it on his own, the sooner it would become a part of his everyday life.

Deciding against television, he hobbled over to his holdall and removed a small black case, which he jammed under his arm as he made his way over to the dining table. Sitting down in one of the tall backed chairs, he carefully unzipped the receptacle, similar in size to a small toiletry bag, and started to remove the contents. Alongside the palm sized electronic device used to monitor his blood sugar levels, there was a supply of syringes, several vials of insulin and something that looked like a pen which contained a spring loaded needle for pricking his finger to take a blood sample. The kit was designed to be portable but Dee couldn't help but think it seemed a lot of equipment to always have to be carried around. He held up one of the vials and studied the contents wondering how something so small and seemingly insignificant could now have the responsibility of keeping him alive.

At that moment, Ryo emerged from the bedroom and saw Dee at the table; the sight of him hunched dejectedly over as his diabetes kit almost stilling his heart. He put the clothes he was carrying down and walked over to him, deliberately treading heavily so he wouldn't startle him before he wrapped his arms around Dee's slender frame. He didn't realise Dee was crying until his lover started to speak, his voice thick with tears. "Why me?" he cried, his anguish plain. "Why can't things be like they were before Ryo?"

The question was childlike but it was honest and from the heart. His own eyes filling with tears, Ryo moved around so he could hold Dee properly as his lover mourned for his life that would never be the same. He held him, stroking his hair tenderly as the sobs grew quieter and the tremors in his body ceased. When they pulled apart, he reached up and brushed the tears from Dee's cheeks before he took his face gently in his hands, mindful of the newly repaired wound.

"I love you Dee," he said, looking deeply into the glassy emerald eyes that stared back at him, filled with pain. "Nothing's changed about the way I feel about you. Isn't that what matters?"

He held his breath until Dee nodded, sniffing back more tears, no trace of anger in his expression. Ryo had been rightly nervous, knowing how volatile Dee's emotions were at that time, and he was never sure whether he had said the right thing until he received a positive reaction from his lover. "Come on," Ryo said, offering him a gentle smile, "I'll leave the washing; let's go and curl up in front of the TV together for a few hours before Bicky gets home."

Ryo stood and held out his hand, his smile broadening as Dee took it and allowed the blond man to pull him into a standing position. He looked around for his crutches but Ryo had other ideas as he knelt slightly and, placing a hand carefully on the back of Dee's legs, scooped the dark haired man into his arms in one deft movement.

"Ryo!" Dee exclaimed, his bright green eyes wide with surprise as he threw his arms around Ryo's neck. "What are you doing?"

Ryo couldn't help but laugh at Dee's expression. "If I can't treat my lover like a king then who can I lavish all my attention on?" Before Dee could protest, Ryo had carried him into the living room and laid him carefully on the couch. "Here," he said, crossing the room and snatching up the remote control which he threw to Dee. "You choose what we can watch while I slip into something more comfortable." The blond detective had picked Dee up from the hospital straight from work and therefore was still dressed in his suit. Dee laughed as Ryo started to finger his tie suggestively. "Can I watch?" he called as Ryo disappeared into their bedroom.

"Later," came the chuckled reply before he re-emerged wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of baggy track pants. "So what are we watching?"

Several peaceful hours had passed before a key sounded in the lock signifying Bicky was home from school. Both men had dozed off at some point during the old movie they'd been watching and neither woke up as the African-American teenager stepped into the apartment. When he saw the two men sleeping, wrapped in each other's arms, he smiled slightly thinking that maybe things weren't too bad after all. Ryo had told him it wasn't a good idea to visit Dee at the hospital and although he hadn't said much more than that, he hadn't been able to disguise his unhappiness every time he'd come back from visiting his lover.

Bicky had rightly been worried but the expression of contentment on Ryo's face was something he hadn't seen for so long and it cheered him to know that his guardian could stop being unhappy at last. As he dumped his bag on the floor, Dee stirred, his eyes eventually coming to rest on the source of the noise that had woken him.

"Hey squirt," he said sleepily, allowing his head to flop back onto the cushion as Ryo dozed against his chest.

Bicky offered him a scowl by way of response, although it was a half-hearted expression of annoyance. "Hey yourself, and it's Bicky, not _squirt_."

"I know, but I like 'squirt' better."

Bicky snorted as he headed into his bedroom and opened the door. Just before he was about to disappear inside however, he paused and turned back to face the ebony haired man. "Welcome home Dee," he said quietly, offering him a quick smile before went into his room and closed the door behind him. The noise awoke Ryo who turned in Dee's arms so he could see his lover's face. "Bicky's home," Dee announced as Ryo rubbed his face, trying to wipe away the drowsiness. "He is?" he replied, "Where's he gone?"

Dee smiled and stroked the blond sleep-mussed hair. "He went into his room, hopefully to do his homework."

Ryo nodded before he raised his wrist to check the time on his watch. "I better start on dinner," he said, stifling a yawn and making to get up. Dee however held him fast. "Stay here," he complained, not wanting his warmth to leave him. "I'm not that hungry anyway."

An anxious expression passed across Ryo's handsome features and Dee was quick to recognise it. "I know, I know," he said, wanting ease his lover's worry, "I _have_ to eat." Reluctantly he unlocked his arms but could resist pinching Ryo's bottom as he stood up and stretched. "Hey!" the blond man chided, with a slight smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth. "Don't touch what you can't afford!"

Dee laughed as Ryo shot him a pseudo-haughty look before he disappeared into the kitchen to make the dinner. Shortly after some delicious smells started to waft in from the kitchen, Bicky emerged from his bedroom and plonked himself down in the armchair opposite Dee. "Hey idiot," he said grinning at the ebony haired man, "Wanna play some video games?"

Dee laughed and shook his head. "Sure, why not?" he replied as Ryo popped his head from around the kitchen doorway. "Dee?" he said, his expression fixed with the perpetual seriousness that his lover hated. "Dinner's about half an hour away."

Bicky frowned, not sure about the significance of the comment but Dee nodded grimly. "Can you pass me my stuff," he asked, his voice suddenly lacking its usual confidence. Ryo disappeared for a moment before he returned with the small black bag, which he handed to Dee, glancing quickly at Bicky who was in the process of setting up the Playstation. "Do you want me and Bicky to leave you alone?" he asked tentatively as Dee started to unzip the bag. The blond teenager looked up at the strange comment to see Dee shake his head. "No, that's not necessary." He paused, the silence punctuated by a thin-lipped smile. "I can't send you out the room every time I need to do this."

With hands that felt clumsy through nervousness, he used the pen-like object to prick the tip of his finger before depositing the drop of blood on the appropriate part of the blood glucose monitor. After several seconds the gadget bleeped, giving him his reading, which he studied for a moment before reaching for a syringe and a vial of insulin. He could feel the weight of Bicky's stare as he prepped the needle and lifted the material of his hooded top to expose the firm olive skin beneath. He knew Ryo would be watching too as he took a deep breath before dispensing the contents of the syringe into his stomach.

Relief flooded over him once he knew he'd completed the task and he looked up at last to offer Ryo a reassuring smile. Bicky still looked stunned and Dee caught a barely audible 'shit' as the boy gawped at him in disbelief. Ryo shot the blond teen a disapproving look, partly for the profanity, partly for the way he was staring at Dee as if he'd grown a second head but Dee however was too preoccupied with the fact that he'd handled the injection on his own to care what Bicky was doing. He packed the equipment back in the small black case and placed it carefully on the coffee table, eventually looking across at the teenager who was sat, still frozen with a Playstation controller in each hand.

"Are we playing or what?" Dee said, pulling a face at the boy in an attempt to draw him from his stupor. Bicky responded by making a similar face before he threw one of the controllers to Dee and hopped back into the armchair. They did battle up until Ryo informed them that their dinner was ready. Using his crutches, which Bicky retrieved from the kitchen for him, Dee made his way to the table as Ryo brought out the steaming plates of food. As the three took their seats, Bicky and Dee exchanged puzzled glances; not sure what it was Ryo was trying to feed them. Ryo saw their faces and but ignored them as he picked up his fork and began to eat. However he was unable to maintain his silence for much longer as he watched Bicky push the food around on his plate as if he expected it to bite him. "It's broccoli Bicky," he said sharply, "It won't kill you." He was annoyed to see Dee also looking at him dubiously.

"What?" he asked glaring at them both. "It's Broccoli, mushroom and ham casserole."

"Oh right," Dee said nodding thoughtfully. "And you just decided to make it even though we've never had it before?"

"Yes," Ryo replied firmly as he skewered a large piece of broccoli and popped it into his mouth.

"So it wasn't out of that diabetic cookbook I saw hidden behind the breadbin?" Dee asked; his bright emerald eyes trained upon his lover, waiting for the other man to look up. Ryo flushed and although he never responded verbally, the splash of colour on his cheeks gave away his guilt.

"Jesus Ryo," Dee snapped, dropping his fork, which clattered onto the plate before falling off and splattering the table with mushroom pieces. "I may stuck with a lifetime of weird meals but you can still feed the kid normal food," he said gesturing at Bicky who still hadn't put any of the casserole in his mouth.

Ryo looked up suddenly, his expression angry. "Don't be such a baby Dee! This _is_ normal food and yes, it is from the cookbook I bought but so what? Since I'm responsible for most of the meals in this family I thought I'd better find out what foods are good for you and what's the harm in us all indulging in a little healthy eating?"

There was an angry silence as the two men eyeballed each other. Eventually Dee stood quickly, his exit marred by the need to struggle into his crutches before he could leave the table. He almost fell over as he bent to pick the metal sticks up whilst balancing precariously on one leg but even Bicky didn't laugh as he straightened up and limped away towards the doors that led out to the small terrace. He left the doors open as he stormed out and soon, the smell of smoke began to drift in through the living room.

Ryo shook his head and started to eat again, determined to ignore Dee's show of temper. Bicky had also begun to eat quietly; surprised that the dish was actually quite tasty but feeling it better to hold his tongue than make the comment to his tense looking guardian who was stabbing viciously at a piece of ham as if he had a personal vendetta against it. After a while Ryo's anger started to dissipate and worry set in; Dee hadn't eaten and showed no signs of coming back in. His lover could be unbelievably stubborn, even over a row as trivial as this but somehow, Ryo sensed there was more to Dee's outburst than what floated on the surface. With the realisation Ryo sighed, acknowledging that he had fallen off the tightrope yet again.

TBC…


	16. A Cross to Bear

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 16 – A Cross to Bear

Out on the balcony, Dee leaned heavily on the railings as he blew a long stream of smoke out into the night sky. It felt good to be able to indulge in the vice again; in hospital, and particularly before he was allowed on crutches, the nursing staff maintained they were too busy to take him outside where he could smoke and so he'd been forced to abstain. He suspected they were hoping he would use the situation to try and quit but it merely made him more resolute to continue. Dr Stephens had given him the usual lecture, informing him that it was particularly unhealthy in the light of his diabetes but he had shrugged and informed her that giving up something he enjoyed wasn't very high on his agenda at that time and so she had grudgingly let it be for the time being.

As he stubbed out the cigarette and flicked it off the veranda he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He knew he'd hurt Ryo; the man was so tough but easily hurt when it came to matters of the heart. He thought back to the discussion he'd had with the psychiatrist when she'd tried to explain things from Ryo's perspective. What was it she'd said? '_He_ _probably feels like he's treading on eggshells when he's around you_.' He hated the thought that he would make Ryo feel that way but the permanent look of anxiety on his lover's face every time they were together told him her theory was probably correct. Another sigh preceded the decision that he had to go in and apologise. Gathering up his crutches he turned, jumping slightly as he came face to face with Ryo standing in the open doorway leaning lightly against the frame, his honey blond hair blowing gently in the breeze.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly before Dee could speak. "I didn't set out to upset you."

Dee lowered his head, ashamed that Ryo thought he needed to apologise when he was the one clearly at fault. "Don't be sorry," he said, eventually lifting his eyes to meet his lover's. "I'm the one that needs to apologise." He looked down at his hands as if he expected to find the answers there. "This anger… I barely recognise myself Ryo. I don't know what's wrong with me." He looked up and Ryo couldn't miss the vulnerability in his eyes. "I'm sure the meal was great but… it was different and I… I don't want things to be different. I know that seems childish but I need to pretend nothing's changed Ryo. I _need _to…"

Before he could say anymore, he found himself wrapped in Ryo's strong embrace. With his crutches dangling from his wrists, Dee reached up and returned the gesture, savouring the closeness of his lover for as long as it would last, grateful for Ryo's patience.

"Come on," Ryo said eventually, murmuring into Dee's ear, "Let's go in. You need to eat so you'd better come and decide what you _do_ want. I promise you don't have to have any broccoli." He was relieved when he felt Dee chuckle, not sure whether his attempt at humour would tip him off the tightrope or help him regain his balance. Fortunately though, it was the latter.

He cooked Dee a replacement meal which still satisfied both the man in question and the recommendations of his new diet before they watched some more TV with Bicky. There was an item on the news about the arrest of the kidnapper and Dee's rescue, supported by shaky video footage of the two of them, plus several uniformed cops as they battled their way through the reporters that had been waiting outside the hospital earlier that day. Dee made a face as he saw himself struggling from the wheelchair and into the car as cameras flashed repeatedly and questions were fired at him and his lover, which they both pointedly ignored. Eventually they turned the set off and retired to bed, agreeing that it had been an extremely long day. Ryo was keen to see that his recovering lover got adequate rest and Dee didn't argue; feeling weary and ready to retire. He checked his blood sugar level one more time; relieved to see that the reading was well within his target levels before they headed off to bed.

Once inside the bedroom, Ryo helped Dee out of his track pants; recalling in a deja vu like fashion when he had done the same just before Christmas, which had led to their first encounter of a more sexual nature. He had gained much more experience since then, both in pleasuring his lover and himself and he knew that he only had Dee to thank for his increase in confidence in this area of his life. As his dark haired lover pulled his t-shirt off over his head as he sat on the edge of the bed, Ryo could feel himself becoming aroused; the sight of the beautiful body before him making him hot with desire. Instinctively he reached out to touch the firm chest but Dee caught hold of his hand before he could caress the olive planes of skin and muscle. "Ryo…" he said, noting the lust in his lover's eyes and wishing he felt differently than he did. "Is it alright if… if we don't…"

He couldn't seem to finish the sentence, but Ryo could tell from the anxious expression on Dee's face that sex wasn't on his mind. His initial response was to feel hurt; Dee had never pushed him away before but Ryo reminded himself that the events of the last couple of weeks had changed things whether he liked it or not. Offering the other man a reassuring smile, he used his free hand to reach up and touch Dee's face gently. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do," he said firmly but kindly, "If it makes you more comfortable I can sleep on the floor if you want."

Dee shook his head and took a deep and wearied breath, sick of the way his emotions continued to confuse and betray him. "No… I want you here. I… I need you to hold me." He sounded slightly embarrassed at the admission, not wanting to alert even his own lover to the vulnerability his abduction had caused. He needn't have worried however as Ryo stripped down to his shorts, climbed into bed and held his arms open in a manner of invitation. Dee smiled, relaxing slightly as he lifted his casted leg onto the bed and crawled over to lie on Ryo's firm chest.

Once his lover was comfortable, Ryo wrapped his arms around the younger man, ignoring the slight twinge of sadness that came with the realisation that their roles had been reversed. He, Ryo was by no means the weaker of the two but Dee's natural air of confidence marked him out as the more dominant partner in their relationship. In this position, it was Ryo that was normally being held and so it felt strange to know that Dee had requested that Ryo hold him the way that he usually offered to the blond man. He eventually drifted off to sleep, assuming Dee had done the same from the lack of movement or conversation.

In fact, Dee was still very much awake and he stayed that way until the glowing red digits on the clock turned to four am. He'd never mentioned it, knowing Ryo worried excessively about anything, but since his rescue he'd never actually managed to get a decent night's sleep. Insomnia was something Dee had never experienced and he knew it was more than coincidence that he'd developed this inability to sleep at the same time that he'd been kidnapped, beaten and held hostage for five days.

Eventually though, his wearied body forced sleep upon him and he managed a few hours of rest, waking suddenly as the sun streamed in through the window, leaving him sluggish and disorientated. The bed seemed strangely large and empty before Dee realised he was no longer in hospital and was in fact back at home. The realisation brought with it the awareness that he normally shared this bed with someone else and he reached out to find his lover, his heart rate escalating when he couldn't find him.

"Ryo!" he shouted, sitting up suddenly and looking around the room, "Ryo, where are you?" Panic started to set in and his breathing became more erratic as his mind filled with images of his lover being snatched while he had slept. "Ryo!" he cried; the tone of his voice fearful, "Oh God, please be okay!"

Alerted by the cries, the door flew open and Ryo rushed into the room, his face a mask of worry. He was wearing only a towel and his hair and upper body were covered in droplets of water, indicating he'd heard the shouts as he'd stepped out of the shower and had rushed to his lover's aid without stopping to dry himself off first. By then, Dee was hyperventilating. "Shhhhh, take deep breaths," Ryo said in a soothing voice as he sat down quickly and swept Dee into his arms. After several long moments, the dark haired man's breathing returned to normal and Ryo spoke to him, his voice still deep and reassuring. "What's the matter, love? I was just in the bathroom."

He could feel Dee's heart pumping against his damp chest as the other struggled to verbalise an answer. "You weren't here," he said, sounding slightly haunted as he spoke, his voice muffled as he buried himself in the comforting embrace. "I, I thought…"

He never finished the sentence but Ryo assumed it was similar to the things that he thought had happened when he'd been hallucinating; gripped by fever. Eventually Dee pulled away, suddenly looking awkward and embarrassed by his panicked reaction. "I'm sorry Ryo, Jesus you can't even take a shower without me freaking out." He rested the heels of his hands against his eyes and sighed. "I feel like I'm going insane. That psychiatrist would probably section me if she knew about this."

Ryo reached up and gently pried his fingers away from his face so he could have eye contact. "You're not going insane," he said firmly, "These are just reactions to everything you've been through but you need to tell your counsellor," he urged, "She'll have dealt with similar situations plenty of times." He paused, contemplating his next sentence before he decided to say it anyway. "When my parents were killed, I started having panic attacks. Nothing specific seemed to trigger them; I just freaked out at everyone and everything. I refused counselling for a while but things eventually got so bad that my aunt forced me to get professional help. The psychiatrist I saw helped me explore those feelings until they lessened and eventually stopped altogether. I'm here for you Dee but it is important to talk to someone who's qualified to deal with the things you're experiencing. She can only help you if you're honest with her though."

He stopped speaking and watched as Dee nodded slowly, reluctantly assenting to Ryo's request. The blond smiled before he leaned in and kissed Dee gently on the forehead, a droplet of water from his hair splashing on his lover's olive skin and running down the side of his nose. Ryo chuckled and wiped it away, relieved to see Dee smiling too. "Let me get dressed and then we can fix breakfast okay? What time do you have to be at the hospital?"

Dee frowned as he tried to recall the time of his appointments. "I'm seeing the psychiatrist at ten and I have an appointment at the diabetic clinic at eleven. Are you sure you're okay to take me? I don't want Rose busting your ass…"

He stopped as Ryo shook his head firmly. "He won't. Drake is covering for me until I've dropped you off and then I'll book the afternoon off so we can spend it together."

"But…"

"Don't worry," Ryo replied, cutting him off, "Rose won't say no."

Dee smiled at the determined look on his lover's face, realising that he sometimes underestimated how strong Ryo was. "Thanks," he said gratefully, "but I probably won't be much company if I'm all talked out."

"That's okay," Ryo said smiling warmly, "I enjoyed just lying with you yesterday. We can do that again if you don't feel up to anything else."

Dee nodded, suddenly feeling bold and leaning forward to kiss his lover. "Thank you Ryo, for being you."

"No problem," the other replied, "Now d'you need a hand getting dressed or anything?"

When Dee shook his head in response, Ryo headed back to the bathroom to finish getting ready. As he left the bedroom, Bicky suddenly appeared from the living room looking somewhat anxious. "Is Dee okay?" he asked, his face creased into a frown. "I heard him shouting. Was he having a nightmare?"

Ryo sighed as he pushed his damp hair back from his face. "I don't know," he replied in a low voice, not wanting Dee to overhear them talking about him. "He just a little on edge at the moment." He smiled despite his own concerns, not wanting to worry the young man. "He'll be okay though. We just have to look after him."

The boy nodded; his expression grave. He very rarely showed any feelings towards Dee other than annoyance and irritation but the fear he'd heard in Dee's voice when he'd called out for Ryo had told the perceptive youth that all was not well with the normally confident and outgoing detective. Again, he reaffirmed his decision not to give Dee the hard time he normally received whenever they were together.

The three ate breakfast together when Dee was dressed and had checked his blood sugar levels and administered his insulin. Ryo noticed Bicky seemed a little awkward around the dark haired man, as if he wasn't sure what to say and in the absence of his usual barrage of insults, the meal time conversation was fairly limited. Looking up at Dee as he drank his tea, Ryo noted that he looked particularly tired and wondered just how much sleep he'd actually got. He'd assumed that his lover would have slept soundly once he was home and in his own bed but judging by the somewhat vacant look in his normally vibrant green eyes, that hadn't been the case.

At ten to ten, the two men pulled up at the All Saints' Hospital. Ryo had wanted to let Dee out near the door so he wouldn't have to walk from the car park but the other man had insisted that he preferred the greater distance with Ryo by his side than having to go in on his own. Two weeks ago, Ryo knew that Dee's reaction to this situation would have been very different. The normally self assured man wouldn't have thought twice about being left alone for what would have been a matter of minutes while he found a parking space but now… His loss of confidence was worrying Ryo and although he tried to convince himself that Dee's anxiety was only temporary, he couldn't help but feel like he was grieving for something that he had loved and would maybe never see again.

Glancing across at Dee as he shut off the engine, it was impossible to know what the other man was thinking or feeling. He was wearing a dark blue baseball cap and sunglasses as a precaution if there were any news reporters hanging around, therefore masking his normally expressive features. An item about his rescue had been on the news again that morning, with the general public eager to hear the fate of the kidnappers, now the accomplice was finally in custody. No doubt they would be after a quote from the victim himself now that a statement issued by the twenty-seventh precinct had confirmed they would be pressing charges against both men, but Dee was not interested in being in the public eye.

As they left the car, Dee slipping his arms into his crutches and starting across the car park on one leg with Ryo by his side, they noticed a smartly dressed woman heading in their direction, fixing them both with a charming smile. 'Shit' Ryo said internally, realising she had 'reporter' written all over her. The only positive in this situation was at least she was alone.

"Detective Latener," she said smiling brightly as she drew close. "How're you feeling?" She glanced across at Ryo and nodded her head. "Detective McLain," she said by way of greeting.

Dee paused and glanced at Ryo in confusion wondering if she actually knew them, such was her apparent familiarity with them both. "Come on Dee," Ryo said firmly, taking his arm to start him moving again. Dee seemed to realise she was neither friend nor colleague by Ryo's action and he spun to face her angrily.

"Look," he hissed between clenched teeth, "Why don't you just fuck off?"

She looked surprised by his sudden aggression but not the least bit put off, her journalistic tenacity suddenly coming into play. "Now Detective Latener, don't you want the world to know your side of the story? I'm from the New York Enquirer and I can make you an extremely lucrative offer for the exclusive rights to your story."

The tug on his arm was more insistent but Dee remained immovable. Ryo could see his breathing becoming more erratic as his chest heaved in and out in anger and he started to fear what Dee would do next. He was right to be worried as Dee's hand shot forward and he grabbed the woman by the collar of her blouse and lifted her up, his crutch dangling from his arm as he dragged her up to his face. "What part of 'fuck off' don't you understand?" he growled as he balanced precariously on one leg.

"Let me go!" she yelled angrily, struggling within his iron grip. "Jesus, what's your frigging problem you psycho?" She freed herself from his hold, although not without ripping the delicate fabric of her blouse. "Shit," she said crossly, fingering the damaged material before she smoothed a hand across her immaculate blonde haired. "That was Gucci you idiot."

"Well he told you to leave," Ryo said sharply, glaring at the reporter as he finally succeeded in getting Dee to move. He was relieved to see she wasn't following nor shouting threats that she was going to sue for assault or damage to an over-priced item of clothing as he kept a firm hand on Dee's arm as they headed to the main doors. "Are you okay, love?" he said quietly, noticing that his lover seemed to be shaking, although he wasn't sure whether it was in fear or anger. "Just about," came the reply as the automatic doors swished open and granted them entry.

With a quick smile at the receptionist, the two men headed straight for the elevator and the fourth floor, just as they'd been instructed to do. They had advised Dee to come directly to the general ward to prevent any reporters knowing the reasons for his attendance at the hospital; indeed the nurse in charge informed them when they reached the ward that since Dee had been discharged, they had fielded a number of phone calls from so-called 'friends and well-wishers' inquiring about his condition. Despite being repeatedly told that patient information was confidential, they persisted in phoning, eager to find out exactly what had happened to the detective as a result of his abduction.

Polly Andrews, the psychiatrist appeared as the clock turned to ten o'clock, smiling warmly at Dee before her eyes lit on Ryo. The two men stood from their chairs in the waiting room, Dee finally pulling off his hat and glasses as if he suddenly felt safe in her presence.

"Ms Andrews," he said before a quick frown from the attractive redhead forced him to self-correct, "Polly… this is Ryo, my partner." He paused and smiled quickly at the handsome blond at his side who was currently shaking hands with the psychiatrist. "Also my soulmate, confidante, best friend and my reason for being."

Ryo blushed profusely as Polly chuckled. "That's one hell of an intro," she said in admiration as she let go of his hand. "Even though I could already tell from what Dee's said that he's crazy about you."

Ryo's own smiled widened as he affectionately touched Dee's shoulder. "Well, I'll let you get on," he said, knowing he needed to get to the station before Rose realised he wasn't there. "I'll be back here at twelve unless you ring me to say you want picking up sooner."

Dee nodded although there was a slight flicker of fear in his eyes at the thought of being parted, even for just a couple of hours. Ryo recognised the look and brought his hand up to caress his lover's cheek. "It's okay," he said gently, "I'll be back in no time at all and you can always ring me on my cell phone if you get worried." He glanced quickly at Polly, not sure if he was doing the right thing by allowing Dee to be so dependant on him but she smiled and nodded, reassuring him that it was okay.

Feeling confident that his lover was safe in her hands, Ryo gave him a quick kiss before he left. As he walked away down the corridor he just hoped Dee would be honest about his feelings in order for her to help him. He knew Dee found it difficult to put his pride on the shelf and admit he needed help but he sensed that his attractive psychiatrist recognised that too.

"Okay, Dee," Polly said once they had made themselves comfortable in the perpetually empty day room. "How have things been since I saw you last?"

It was an open question, deliberately designed to get Dee talking about the intervening time period without specifically asking whether he had had any problems and he recognised the strategy straight away; after all, he'd had extensive training on questioning at the academy. The tall dark haired man swept a hand through his hair and smiled a wan smile at his counsellor. "Things have been… variable."

The redhead raised an eyebrow indicating she wished him to continue. Dee sighed and contemplated where to start, suddenly feeling very self conscious. "I just don't seem to be in control of my emotions any more. One minute everything seems okay, the next I'm really angry and literally minutes later I'm crying like a goddamned baby. I'm exhausted; it's like being on a permanent rollercoaster."

"That's understandable," she said nodding gently, "So how do you feel right now?"

"Right now?" Dee repeated, considering the question before he gave answer. "I don't know… Unsettled."

"Any particular reason?"

Dee fingered the sunglasses in his lap for a moment. "We just had a run-in with a reporter in the parking lot. She was trying to make me an offer for my story. I just got so angry because she wouldn't go away." He paused and shook his head. "It's a good job Ryo was there because God knows what I would have done otherwise."

She could see that the near loss of self-control had worried him. "Did you ever feel in danger of doing things you might later regret before you were abducted, Dee?" The answer required serious contemplation and for a moment he was silent. When he did speak, his answer was preceded by a thin smile.

"I've always been what you might call 'hotheaded' and I'll admit there have been times when I've almost done things that would have certainly cost me my job, if not my life but I've always pulled myself back from the brink just in time." The smile faded, replaced by a dark expression. "Now, I'm not so sure I'd be able to."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Just before, when Ryo left, you looked a little worried. Can you tell me what that was about?"

Dee wrung his hands nervously, feeling so wretched at his vulnerability. "I… I keep having dreams where Ryo is taken from me. When I had a fever I had similar hallucinations and I thought they'd stop but they haven't. I start to panic and then I can't breathe…" Finally, pained green eyes lifted up to meet sympathetic brown. "It's irrational I know, but I just don't want to let Ryo out of my sight. I _can't_ let anything happen to him. I hate feeling this way," he said quietly, before his tone turned angry. "I don't understand why I'm being so stupid."

"You're not stupid Dee," she reassured him, "Do you want to talk about what happens in these dreams? Would that help?"

"No," he said clamming up almost instantly. "I don't want to talk about them."

"Okay," she said gently, watching him carefully as he turned to stare out of the window, clearly lost in his own thoughts. Although she knew very little about him, she sensed these sessions evoked a huge battle of wills within the troubled man. Clearly he found sharing his feelings with another person very difficult but she wasn't sure whether this was a result of what had happened to him or whether there were issues in his past that made him so defensive. She made a mental note to probe this line of thought further, knowing that she would have difficulty helping him if he could not begin to help himself.

TBC…


	17. In Love and War

**Author's note: Chapter revised to conform to no NC-17 rule.**

**Warning recap: Bad language, male / male romance**

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 17 – In Love and War

Drake frowned at the paperwork in his hands one last time before he dropped it back into his 'In' tray and headed for the door. Through the glass panelling he could see that Rose wasn't in his office and he swore before a movement on the stairs behind him caught his eye, and he turned to see the man in question about to go up to the fifth floor.

"Commissioner Rose!" he called out, hurrying after the blond, determined not to let him get away. The other man seemed to be avoiding his colleagues on the fourth floor like the plague lately, including the email Drake had sent him saying he specifically wanted to speak to him.

"What is it, Drake?" Rose snapped, not bothering to pause, indicating that he didn't plan on stopping to talk. "I'm very busy right now."

Drake forced his face into a smile although internally he felt like knocking Rose's glasses off and shoving them up his… "No problem, Sir, I was just wondering if I could have a copy of Dee's statement."

For a split second Rose looked flustered, before he buried the look behind an expression that seemed to say he found this whole conversation extremely tedious. The younger man saw it and frowned. "You _did_ go to see him right?" he asked, not appreciating the way the commissioner was looking at him.

"Yes," Rose replied, but neglected to elaborate.

Drake fixed him with a hard stare, sensing his senior was being evasive. "The DA's office is collecting evidence for the prosecution. Naturally Dee's statement is vital. They've been on the phone several times. I did email you about it Sir," he said accusingly. Rose took a deep breath sensing he wasn't going to wriggle his way out of this.

"I didn't take his statement," he said finally, pushing his glasses up his nose and matching Drake's stare with a defiant one of his own. "Ryo was right; he wasn't ready to give his statement. I spoke to him for a bit and then left. Someone else will have to do it."

Before Drake could formulate a response, Rose had disappeared up the stairs, not waiting to see if the other man needed him for anything else. Drake stared at the spot Rose had just vacated before he shook his head and muttered 'weird' under his breath. He turned around to see Ryo just disappearing into their office, obviously having just arrived from dropping Dee off at the hospital. Drake shot after him, catching his arm before he could close the door. The blond offered him a nervous smile, his dark eyes flicking around the room, clearly looking for the commissioner. "Hey Drake, Rose didn't realise I wasn't in, did he?"

The other man shook his head, watching as Ryo's tired features flooded with relief. "Thank God," he replied, flopping into his chair and rubbing his eyes for a moment. When he ceased the action he automatically looked across to the desk where Dee normally sat, noting that someone had tidied it and emptied his 'In' tray. Clearly they knew his lover wouldn't be back in work any time soon. Finally he turned to Drake, seeing the other man's frown and wondering whether it was possible for anything else to go wrong. "What's up?" he said eventually, knowing it was likely to be something he needed to know about.

Drake sank into one of the spare seats across from Ryo before he turned to check the door was shut. "I dunno. I just had a weird conversation with Rose."

"Weird how?"

"Weird in that when I asked him for Dee's statement he said he never took one."

Ryo frowned and sat forward in his chair. "But he did go to see him right?"

"Apparently," Drake replied, "Did Dee not say anything to you when you went to see him? I thought you went there that day?"

Ryo thought back to the day he had rushed to the hospital after Drake had warned him Rose was there. He realised Dee had never mentioned anything and he had never asked but then he had been pretty distracted… "I forgot to ask him," Ryo said somewhat sheepishly, "I uh… I had other things on my mind by then."

Drake raised an eyebrow at the blush that had swept across Ryo's fair cheeks. "Oh yeah?" he said interestedly. "You didn't, did you? I mean, not in _hospital_, anyone could have walked in!"

Ryo frowned before the penny dropped and he realised what Drake thought he had meant by his last comment. "Not that!" he spluttered, his dark eyes wide from the misunderstanding. "Oh Jeez…"

Sensing Ryo wasn't going to elaborate on what he'd really meant, Drake turned his thoughts back to the situation with Rose. "Don't you think it's strange that he went to supposedly take a statement but came back without one? He said he hadn't taken it because Dee wasn't ready but it's not like him to be so sensitive; hell, if he was, he wouldn't have gone in the first place like you told him not to."

Ryo nodded grimly, now worried as to why Dee had never said anything. Drake seemed to sense the blond's thoughts were with the man he loved so much, and he changed the subject. "So how is he?" he asked, thinking for not the first time that Ryo looked in need of a vacation.

"Dee?" Ryo said, startled from his daydream, "He's… variable. You know Dee; he doesn't talk much about how he really feels." He stopped as he flicked a cake crumb off his desk. "He gets really angry about the slightest thing. I just can't seem to stop putting my foot in it."

"Like what?" Drake asked, not sure he understood.

Ryo sighed. "He got upset because I cooked something we'd never had before. He knew it was because of his diabetes and freaked out. He just keeps saying he doesn't want things to be different."

Drake nodded. "That makes sense. I told you, my cousin was exactly the same for a long time. She thought every time that someone did something they hadn't done before it was because they had an ulterior, diabetes-related motive."

"But things _are_ different," Ryo said, understanding what Drake meant but worrying just the same. "I know Dee and his tendency to sweep things he doesn't want to deal with under the carpet. He needs to look after himself, not pretend that nothing's changed."

"And I'm sure he will," Drake said reassuringly. "Just give him time to adjust."

Ryo nodded, suddenly feeling guilty that he was expecting so much so soon from his over-burdened lover. "Thanks for talking, Drake," he said sincerely. "It's hard to know what to do. Normally I'd talk to Dee about things like this."

"No problem," Drake replied. "There'll be lots of support available to Dee but you need to be able to talk about things too. I'll be here for you if you need me." He offered Ryo a reassuring smile, and then seeing that the other man was in danger of becoming emotional, threw a small stack of files across the desk. "Here," he said, the smile morphing into a grin. "I was gonna do these but seeing as you're here now…"

"Yeah, yeah," Ryo chuckled, the glassiness of his eyes fading slightly as Drake cajoled him towards a better mood. "Next thing you're going to tell me is you've saved all your filing too." The other man laughed as he shook his head.

"No seriously, it's only chasing up phone calls and stuff. The DA's office want to get their case together pretty quickly." Drake rolled his eyes. "You know what it's like when they've got something that's making the headlines."

Ryo nodded as he picked up the phone to start straight away. Before he began to dial the first number he looked up at Drake who was just about to start on his own mountain of paperwork. "D'you think I should say something to Dee, about his statement I mean?" Drake pondered this for a moment. "Yeah, I think you should. It might get him talking about why Rose went to see him the other day. You can also find out if he's got any preferences as to who will take his statement, although I have a feeling the DA's office will insist on doing it themselves since it hasn't been done already and now the case is officially in their hands."

The morning passed quickly and soon Ryo had to leave to pick Dee up. He was relieved that his lover hadn't phoned, begging him to collect him sooner, but he was still a little anxious as to how he might have faired. His last appointment had been with the diabetes specialist and so Ryo headed to the appropriate department on reaching the medical facility. The large waiting area was warm and welcoming, its interior designed to appeal to both children and adults. Ryo took a seat and idly flicked through a magazine pausing only when a family consisting of mother, father and a girl who looked no older than six emerged from one of the consulting rooms and walked past him towards the exit. A few minutes after that, another door opened and Dee came out on his crutches followed immediately by the diabetes consultant Dr Stephens. He saw Ryo and smiled tiredly, clearly wearied by the morning's events. The two made their way across the room to Ryo, who stood and placed the magazine back in the rack.

"Hey," he said as Dee drew close. "Good morning?"

"Not bad," Dee replied, resting heavily on one crutch. He looked pale and weary and Ryo knew instantly that he needed to get home and rest.

"He's done really well again," Dr Stephens said, smiling broadly at the two men before she turned to address Ryo. "But I've said I think you need to come along to the next appointment. It's important that family members know exactly what to do as well. Is there anyone else that would benefit from knowing more about diabetes?"

Ryo glanced across at Dee before he spoke. "I have an adopted thirteen year old son that lives with us. He knows Dee is diabetic but I don't think he knows much about the condition itself. Should he come along too?"

"Not to the next appointment," she answered "Just you and Dee will be fine. We do a special session for younger relatives which would be more suitable for your son and I have a feeling we're about to run a group within the next couple of weeks. I'll give you the date at the next appointment, which is tomorrow at three pm, and you can bring him along to that."

Ryo nodded, noting Dee swaying slightly with fatigue. "Well thank you Dr Stephens, we'll see you tomorrow."

The two men bid her farewell before they started towards the exit, Ryo staying very close to Dee, worried in case he became too exhausted to continue. The cap and glasses were back in place, making it difficult for the blond man to read his lover's expression but his silence as they made their way out to the car was enough to tell Ryo that now was not the time to talk about the statement they needed. Thankfully, there were no reporters around as they crossed the parking lot and climbed into Ryo's Dodge, the blond helping Dee into his seat before he made his way around the car and got in on the driver's side. They'd barely been in motion for a couple of minutes before the sound of soft snoring reached Ryo's ears and he smiled and glanced across at the sleeping man, his head lolling against the back of the seat. He was worn out; a stark reminder of just how vulnerable he was at that time.

When they arrived back home, Ryo all but carried his drained lover inside the apartment, allowing Dee to stay half asleep as they rode the elevator up to their floor. He managed to get Dee inside and onto the couch before he went back down to the car to fetch his briefcase and Dee's crutches, suddenly feeling very tired himself. When he got back up to the apartment, Dee was still fast asleep, his expression pinched with tension, even in slumber. Ryo stood and watched him for a while before the phone started to ring and he rushed to pick it up, before its shrill tones woke up the resting man.

"Aunt Elena," Ryo said in response to the familiar 'hello' as he stepped into the kitchen, still keeping his voice low. "Yes, it's true. Dee's safe." She expressed her delight at this news, although mildly chastising her nephew for not ringing himself. However she understood his reasons for forgetting to make the call and accepted his repeated apologies, claiming she was just pleased that there had been a positive ending to the terrifying drama. She enquired after Dee's condition and he told her some of the details, leaving out the unexpected diagnosis he had received as a result of routine hospital tests. She then asked him again if Dee was okay, which Ryo correctly took to mean that she was wondering how he was fairing psychologically. His aunt was a perceptive lady; after all she had taken care of him when he had fallen apart after his parents' deaths. There was no point pretending everything was okay.

Glancing through into the living room to check Dee was still sleeping, he proceeded to share his fears for his lover's psychological wellbeing with a sympathetic ear. He told her about the panic attack he had had that morning and how even little things seemed to make him overly anxious. The Dee he had known before was so far removed from the man lying on his couch that he was frightened they could never be one and the same again. Saying something to that effect out loud seemed to touch a nerve within the tired detective, and he found he couldn't hold back the tears as he sank into the nearest chair and cradled his head in his hands. Elena was instantly worried and offered to come straight over but Ryo reassured her he would be okay; it was just tiredness talking. He promised her they would still be coming to Carrie's wedding three months from now, desperately needing to convince himself that things would be nearer normal by then. He then ended the call, promising to ring if he needed to talk before putting his head down and promptly falling asleep, half lying across the kitchen table as his mind and body's protests for him to rest were finally acknowledged.

Several hours later he awoke, sitting up and wincing at the painful crick in his neck caused by sleeping in such an odd position. It took him a couple of minutes to realise that the phone was ringing again even though the handset was right next to his ear and he snatched it up, muttering 'hello' in a heavy, sleep-laden voice.

"Hey Ryo, it's Drake. Sorry, were you sleeping?"

"No, not really," Ryo lied, "I just put my head done on the table for a few moments. Guess I must have dozed off."

"Sorry," Drake repeated, sounding genuinely apologetic, "I thought I should just give you a ring to let you know the DA's office have been on the phone. They want to come and take Dee's statement tomorrow."

"Just like we thought," Ryo said before the final part filtered through. "_Tomorrow_?"

"Yeah," Drake replied, "I tried to put them off but you know what they're like. They have your home number and will probably call you later to arrange a time to come round. I just thought I should warn you."

"Thanks," Ryo said gratefully, hanging up the phone and wondering how he was going to break this to Dee. His thoughts were interrupted by a husky sleep-filled voice from the living room. "Ryo? Are you in there? I think the phone was just ringing."

Ryo stood and headed quickly into the other room, ignoring the ache in his neck and lower back. "Yeah, it's okay love, I got it." He moved to sit on the couch as Dee sat up, making him space. Dee then lay back down, his head resting across Ryo's legs as the blond man began to gently stroke his hair. For a moment, the ebony haired detective looked contented before he frowned slightly and said, "So who was on the phone?"

The slight falter in Ryo's soothing movements was enough to tell Dee it wasn't good. "What is it?" he asked, searching Ryo's handsome face for answers.

"Nothing," Ryo said instinctively wanting to protect his vulnerable lover, before he resigned himself to the truth, "Well okay, it is something. The district attorney's office want to push on with the case against your kidnapper and his accomplice so they need your statement. Drake tried to put them off but they're insisting that they want to see you tomorrow." He pushed some hair away from Dee's eyes so he could see the green orbs clearly. "How'd you feel about that, love?"

Dee sighed and turned slightly to stare across the room. "I don't know. I guess I have to do it sooner or later."

"Yeah," Ryo replied, wondering whether it was tempting fate to think that Dee was taking this news quite well. "D'you want me to be here when they come?" He asked the question anyway, even though he was certain of the answer. It was a surprise therefore when Dee said quite firmly, "No, it's okay. I'd rather do it on my own."

"Are you sure?" Ryo said, looking down at him in disbelief. "I really don't mind and I'm sure they'll let me sit in with you."

"No," Dee said suddenly and a little too forcefully, before he softened. "I'll be fine, really." He reached up and squeezed Ryo's hand as the other nodded reluctantly. "Okay… but if you change your mind…"

"I know," Dee replied, ending the conversation there. They sat in silence as the minutes ticked by, enjoying each other's closeness as if such a moment of quiet was a rare luxury in their hectic and troubled lives. Looking down at his lover's handsome and yet wearied face, Ryo couldn't help but lean in and kiss his pale lips, savouring the taste before Dee opened his mouth, allowing him greater access. There was passion in Dee's response and Ryo was all the bolder for it. He shifted slightly so that he was more lying than sitting, cupping Dee's face gently in his strong hands to ensure the kiss wasn't broken during the motion. He felt Dee's arms wrap around his back and his heart and passion soared as his fingers moved to explore the firm chest beneath him. Before long, his hand strayed lower and although he felt Dee tense slightly, the other man did not tell him to stop.

Five minutes and one missed phone call later, the two men found themselves smiling at each other, happy and sated.

"Jesus, Ryo, are you sure you've never done that before?" Dee said, chuckling slightly.

Ryo blushed a dark shade of crimson, although he looked pleased by the compliment. He was spared any awkwardness however as the telephone started ringing again and he jumped up to go and answer it. From the couch, Dee could hear Ryo's side of the conversation as he spoke to whoever the caller was.

"Yes I heard it ringing," he heard Ryo say. "I was just in the bathroom and didn't get to the phone in time." Dee chuckled to himself at the lie as he set about pulling up his pants. He looked up from his horizontal struggle as Ryo appeared; his expression serious as he held his hand across the mouthpiece on the phone's handset. "It's the DA's office," he said quietly. "They want to speak to you."

Fully dressed again, Dee nodded, holding out his hand for the device. "Detective Latener speaking," he said as he took the phone from Ryo, leaving the other man to watch anxiously. "Tomorrow?" he said into the phone, not looking up at Ryo as he spoke. "Sure, what time because I have hospital appointments in the afternoon. Ten o'clock? Fine. See you then."

He pressed the disconnect button and handed the phone back to Ryo who put it on the coffee table before coming to sit on the floor in front of him. "Are you sure Dee?" he said, resting his chin on the other's arm. "I know you said you wanted to do it on your own but I won't even be in the apartment when they come. I have to work in the morning; it was the only way Rose would let me have the time off to take you to your hospital appointments."

Dee grimaced; hating the feeling that he was some kind of burden to his beloved partner. "I'll be fine," he assured him, stroking the dark blond hair in slow movements. "I'll just be glad to get it out of the way." Seeing Ryo's anxious expression, he offered the other man a reassuring smile despite his own reservations about his readiness to re-visit his traumatic ordeal. More recently, he'd started to experience flashbacks of his time in captivity, which left him dazed and on edge for several hours after each occurrence. So far, he'd managed to hide this new misery from his lover, feeling the other man was overburdened with both caring for him and trying to hold down his job. He could only hope that giving his statement would prove to be a cathartic experience that would ease the strain of these dark days and allow them both a little well-deserved happiness.

TBC…


	18. Out for Blood

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 18 – Out for Blood

The following morning Ryo couldn't help but think that Dee didn't look quite as confident about giving his statement as he had the day before. At breakfast, he snapped at Bicky countless times, leading the blond boy to storm off to school, using his middle finger in a goodbye gesture that left Ryo shaking his head in dismay. Dee was also smoking like a chimney as he nursed a strong back coffee, which annoyed the hell out of his blond lover, but allowing Dee those unhealthy pleasures was the only way he could get him to eat the diabetic breakfast he had prepared for him earlier. The no nonsense side of Ryo was tempted to remind Dee that he shouldn't have to bribe him to eat sensibly, but he held back his comment and excused Dee's behaviour on the basis that he knew his lover had a stressful day ahead of him.

When he left for work forty minutes later, Ryo had to literally drag his feet down the hallway and out to his car, knowing that despite all Dee's protestations, he wanted to be with him while he gave his statement. It was exactly a week since Dee had been rescued and yet he still hadn't told his lover anything about his time held captive, other than the terrible hallucinations he'd suffered in the throes of fever. Dee's reticence worried the blond detective; his lover would be the first to admit that he didn't speak very eloquently and often got frustrated by his inability to express himself, but he usually at least attempted to convey his thoughts and feelings to everyone around him - whether they wanted to hear about it or not. His bold outspokenness was one of the first things Ryo had noticed about him when they were newly assigned partners, and despite his denials, he had quickly fallen in love with the trait that so completely defined the man known as Dee Latener. Ryo could only hope as he climbed into his car, taking one last lingering look up to the apartment window, that the loud, brash, brutally honest side of his lover was only temporarily absent.

At ten am the doorbell rang, causing Dee to jump slightly from his seat at the dining table. Hurriedly stubbing his cigarette out, he took up his crutches and worked his way across to the door calling out "I'm coming" to prevent his visitors from ringing the bell again. As his hand went to the handle, he froze suddenly and changed his mind, throwing the chain on before he turned the knob and opened the door. Through the gap he could make out two faces, both male, dressed in the designer suits usually favoured by the employees at the District Attorney's office.

"Detective Latener?" the older of the two said, trying to see Dee around the door. "My name's Mike Harris, senior investigator and this is my partner Shaun King. We're from the DA's office. We've come to take your statement?"

"You got ID?" Dee found himself saying, although he couldn't for the life of him think why when they'd arrived at exactly the right time and he had already known they were coming.

"Uh sure," the younger man replied, reaching into his breast pocket and pulling out his leather ID wallet. As Dee took both of their proffered badges he didn't miss the look the older of the two shot his partner; a kind of 'uh oh, this is gonna be fun' look, intended no doubt with a large helping of sarcasm. When he was certain they were who they claimed to be, he removed the chain and let them in, directing them towards the chairs in the living room. They made small talk for several minutes, talking about common links between their two offices, swapping names of people they knew to break the ice a little. Soon however, it was time to get down to business and as notepads and a dictaphone were produced, Dee lit himself a cigarette to steady his nerves as he prepared to tell his story.

Two hours later, Ryo made his way back up to the apartment, thinking anxiously of Dee. He'd had word that morning that the two suspects were to be interviewed later that afternoon and the date for the trial had been tentatively set for two weeks from now, with or without the perpetrators' cooperation. Dee would have given his own statement by now and Ryo hoped that psychologically, his lover would be able to move on after this particular hurdle had been overcome. Of course there was the trial yet, but the fact that he would have talked about what had happened was a start at least.

As he reached their floor and headed out of the elevator he could hear voices coming from around the corner. By the steady increase in volume they were coming towards him and it was impossible to not listen in to what they were saying.

"Jesus, he's a mess. You think he's gonna keep it together for the trial?"

"I dunno. But I very much doubt he'll ever return to work."

Realising they were about to turn the corner, Ryo quickly changed direction and ducked down a nearby corridor until they had gone past. It was obvious who they were and who they were talking about and once they were gone, he rushed to the apartment, fumbling for his keys as he went.

"Dee?" he called out worriedly before his eyes fell upon his lover, hunched on one of the armchairs with his head in his hands. "Dee, what's wrong?" He rushed around, dropping to his knees in front of the dark haired man, tentatively placing his hands upon Dee's shoulders. Eventually, his lover looked up, revealing red-rimmed eyes and a weary smile.

"Hey love," he said looking at Ryo's fretful expression. "How was work?"

"Oh Dee," Ryo said, seeing his lover was about to break. He pulled the other man into his arms and held him tightly as Dee sighed heavily. "At least you've got it over with," he said soothingly before he felt Dee shaking his head against his shoulder.

"But I haven't," he said, pulling away from Ryo's embrace. "By the time I'd finished breathing into a paper bag, they'd had a phone call telling them to get back to the office on urgent business."

"You had another panic attack?" Ryo asked, pushing Dee's perpetually untidy hair away from his face. The other man nodded, causing the locks to fall back in front of his eyes. "Yeah… God, I feel like such an idiot. At this rate they'll never let me come back to work. I mean, who's gonna let me loose with a gun when I can't even keep it together in the safety of my own home?"

Ryo swallowed hard and looked away; thinking of the comments he'd overheard as he'd arrived home. He began to think he'd naively underestimated how much Dee's ordeal had affected him but felt at a loss about what to do, other than be there for him when he needed his support.

"Don't worry about work yet," he said finally answering Dee's question, "The healing process can't be rushed and you won't always feel this way." He offered Dee a loving smile as he reached up and caressed the other's cheek. "So what will happen about your statement?"

Dee shrugged. "They want me to call when I'm ready. So long as they have it four days before the start of the trial, they said I could be flexible about when I did it. That's something at least." He gave Ryo a wan smile. "I don't think they were prepared for Detective Latener, the basket case."

"Sssshhhh," Ryo replied, leaning forward and kissing Dee gently on the forehead. "You're many things, Dee; a great cop, great man and damn hot lover but you're not a basket case." The smile he received in response was genuine and he felt pleased that he was becoming better at judging Dee's moods and reacting accordingly. "Let's get some lunch," he said warmly, standing and offering Dee his hand. "We don't want to be late to the hospital."

"Okay," Dee said, allowing Ryo to help him up, "But d'you mind if I go and have a lie down until lunch is ready? I'm feeling a bit wiped."

"You go and have a rest," Ryo said, as he grazed Dee's lips with a soft kiss, "I'll bring lunch through in a bit."

Dee returned the kiss before he nodded and limped off into the bedroom. Once inside he closed the door before flopping onto the bed, his hands covering his face as he exhaled wearily. The stress of giving a statement had just been too much. He'd been convinced he'd be fine; talking about an ordeal that was now a full seven days behind him, but the combination of being forced to relive his time as a hostage whilst being careful not to drop Goldsmith in it had proved too difficult and he'd found himself gripped by panic, his breathing harsh and laboured as he fought to gain control over it. The investigators had decided to give up; evidently worried that Dee would end up hospitalised if they continued to push him. He'd been glad when they'd gone, even though he knew he was only postponing the inevitable. The best he could hope for would be if the two suspects kept quiet about Goldsmith's involvement, but judging by the hatred his captor had shown towards the arrogant millionaire, he very much doubted this matter would be allowed to rest.

And Dee had been right. As he was attending the hospital for his afternoon's worth of appointments, the shit was really hitting the fan over at the twenty seventh precinct. The two suspects had been interviewed and had both decided to come completely clean about the identity of the mastermind behind the initial crime. By the later part of the afternoon, the media had somehow gotten wind of the brewing scandal and hasty reports were pulled together for the evening's news bulletins, citing 'reputable inside sources' as the basis for their information. Rose of course was livid; Goldsmith certainly wasn't responsible for the leak this time and he was angered that someone within his department was pleased by the thought that the well-known entrepreneur was heading for a fall.

As Dee and Ryo were at the appointment with the diabetes specialist, the door opened and the medic's secretary stuck her head into the room, her expression solemn. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's an urgent call for Detective McLain."

Ryo glanced at Dee anxiously before he turned to the doctor. "I'm very sorry Dr Stephens; I don't know what could be so important." He looked up at the secretary "Could you tell them I'd call them back?"

The middle aged brunette shook her head. "I told him you were in an appointment but the gentleman was insistent that he speak to you."

"Don't worry," Dr Stephens said reassuringly to the handsome blond. "We were almost done anyway."

With a last look at Dee, Ryo followed the clerk out of the room and into her office where she handed him the phone before exiting and closing the door behind her.

"Hello? Detective McLain speaking."

"Ryo? It's Drake. Oh man, am I glad I caught you. Sorry to pull you out of your appointment."

"That's okay. I know you wouldn't ring unless it was important. So what's up?"

He heard Drake sigh heavily at the other end of the line. "Our two suspects finally decided to talk when we interviewed them earlier and boy, did they have plenty to say. If they're telling the truth then it seems we were right to be suspicious of our friend Goldsmith. Seems he was the one that hired them to kidnap his own family."

"_What_? Goldsmith planned it all?"

"Uh huh, apparently so. He did it and tried to make it look like the De Lucas were responsible so his company would be back in the running with some business deal." There was a pause before he spoke again. "And according to them, Dee knows the whole story. The older brother says Dee overheard a conversation where Goldsmith incriminated himself."

Ryo looked up suddenly as through the window he saw the consultant's door open and Dee hobble out, followed by Dr Stephens. The ebony haired man caught Ryo's gaze and his expression seemed to question what was so urgent. Not wanting to worry him, Ryo forced his features into a smile of reassurance as Drake asked, "Has Dee mentioned anything to you?"

"No," Ryo said worriedly, "He's not said much about anything but I'd have thought he'd have told me that. Why d'you think he hasn't said anything?"

"I don't know," Drake replied honestly, "But this just seems to get weirder by the minute."

"Well thanks for letting me know," Ryo said, seeing Dee approaching. He was about to say goodbye when Drake cut him off.

"Actually, that's only partly why I'm ringing." The pause told Ryo the worst was yet to come. "Somehow, the press have got hold of the news already and they're gunning for Dee. Your apartment is a complete no-go area. They've even turned up at Bicky's school…"

"Oh God," Ryo said, starting to panic.

"It's okay, calm down. Ted went to pick him up already. He's taken him back to his apartment."

Ryo let out a shaky breath. "Thank you."

"No problem. Just leave by the hospital's back entrance in case any reporters are casing the joint and get over to Ted's. He's said you can stay the night there if you don't want to take Dee back to your apartment."

Through the glass, Ryo could see Dee's drawn features and his memory immediately panned back to how distressed he'd seemed after the District Attorney's investigators tried to take his statement. He couldn't subject him to any more stress today. "Okay, tell Ted we'll stay at his place if that's really alright with him. I don't want to be a burden to anyone…"

"Ryo, shut up, you're not being a burden to anyone. Just get to Ted's before Bicky drives him mad."

Ryo managed a smile before he thanked Drake and ended the call. Dee was now alone in the waiting room, idly reading some of the posters on the wall as Ryo came out of the secretary's office. He looked up at his lover, concern written across his handsome features. "Is everything okay, Ryo?" he asked, studying the blond's face for any signs that he might try to conceal something from him. Ryo knew the intense, green-eyed stare and didn't attempt to deceive it.

"Not really, but I'll explain once we're in the car. We need to leave and quickly and… and we can't go home."

Dee's eyes widened. "What's happened?"

"The press are out in force again. Drake says there are loads of them at our apartment. Ted's picked Bicky up and is letting us stay at his place tonight so we can avoid them."

"Why?" Dee persisted, not understanding why the press would be so interested in him again. "What do they want?"

Ryo sighed, knowing he couldn't avoid the question. "The suspects have named Goldsmith as the one that hired them for the kidnapping of his family and they're saying you know about it." It was Ryo's turn to study his lover's expression; watching him carefully to see how he responded to this news. "The press obviously want to know what you make of these allegations."

Dee said nothing, his face remaining a blank mask, and Ryo knew it was neither the time nor the place for the man to answer these questions, even though he desperately wanted to know the truth himself. "Come on," he said gently, touching Dee's arm.  "Let's get out of here."

Dee nodded silently, wishing he'd brought his cap and sunglasses, before they set off in search of a side exit where they'd hopefully escape any journalists that had come looking for them at the hospital.

Lady Luck was on their side as they managed to reach Ted's apartment without incident. Dee had been mute since they'd left the hospital and Ryo hadn't tried to pull him from his silence since he was so preoccupied with the combination of driving and worrying. When they arrived at Ted's apartment complex, Drake was waiting at the entrance to the garage to show them where they could park. He followed the car at a jog and when the vehicle pulled to a halt in the appropriate parking space, he opened the passenger door for Dee, his face breaking into a wide smile on seeing his colleague and friend for the first time in just over a week.

"Hey buddy," he said, stepping back to give Dee room to get out. "It's really good to see you."

Despite his anxieties Dee smiled, glad to see a friendly face. "Hey Drake. Good to see you too."

There was a pause before Drake stepped forward and pulled Dee into a firm embrace, clearly feeling his verbal greeting was inadequate in expressing his joy at seeing his friend alive and well. Dee returned the gesture, appreciating the warmth demonstrated by the other man. The three detectives then took the elevator up to Ted's place on the ninth floor. As they approached, they could hear Bicky's voice telling someone, they could only presume was Ted, exactly how poor he was at videogames in no uncertain terms. Ryo winced at the boy's forthright attitude as Drake chuckled to himself, imagining the child-unfriendly Ted's face. "Is he always like that?" he asked, glancing at the two men on his right.

"Always," Dee replied flatly as Drake rang the doorbell. They were eventually let in by a harassed looking Ted whose expression changed to one of enormous relief on seeing Ryo and Dee. "Hey guys," he said holding the door and stepping back to allow them past. "Glad you could make the party."

Bicky turned from where he was sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Ted's Playstation and grinned. "Hey Dee, this guys sucks at Vice City even more than you do!"

Dee forced a smile as Drake cleared some magazines off the nearest armchair for him. "Maybe so, but he still wouldn't be as sucky as you," he smirked as he sunk into the chair and discarded his crutches so no one would trip over them. The other men in the room laughed at Bicky's expression of annoyance as he petulantly turned back to the TV and resumed his game.

"Okay, who wants a drink?" Ted asked, heading towards the kitchen. When everyone present nodded, Ryo made to go after him. "I'll give you a hand," he said, shrugging out of his jacket and draping it over the nearest chair. He followed Ted into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as the other man began to search his cupboards for something to give his unplanned guests. "We really appreciate this, Ted," he said sincerely, sweeping a hand through his wavy blond hair. "I can't believe what a mess this whole situation is turning into."

Ted paused thoughtfully and his eyebrows quirked as he contemplated everything that had happened over the last couple of weeks. "Yeah… I'm sure it's been tough for you and Dee. Look, you can stay here as long as you need to. I can crash at Drake's until those bastards leave you alone."

Ryo smiled gratefully. "No it's okay. I'm sure we'll be able to go back home tomorrow." As Ted moved to take something from the fridge he glanced out into the living room to see Dee engaged in conversation with Drake. Although the ebony haired man was smiling, the tension in his expression was clear. "Is he okay?" Ted said quietly to Ryo as he turned from the scene in the lounge to see the blond man watching it too.

Ryo mulled this over for a moment before he answered. "I don't know; we're just taking one day at a time." He sighed wearily as he accepted the two empty glasses from Ted. "This media scrutiny isn't helping matters though and as the trial gets nearer, I can only assume it's going to get worse."

Ted could only offer Ryo a sympathetic expression, knowing any form of denial would be a lie. The Goldsmiths were a prominent celebrity couple and there was always interest them, no matter how insignificant the reason for a story. The fact that they were central to a kidnapping plot was almost movie of the week material and as a result, the media interest wasn't likely to die down any time soon. "Well remember, we'll all be here for you both," Ted said earnestly, his hands laden with three more empty glasses and a large bottle of Coke.

"Thanks," Ryo replied before they headed into the living room to where the two men were watching Bicky mow down rival gang members in an ice cream van. Ryo frowned as he watched the action on the screen. "Is this game really appropriate for a teenager?" he said disapprovingly, handing a glass to Bicky before he gave the other to Dee. "Or for a bunch of policemen for that matter?"

Once Ted had dispensed of the other tumblers, he twisted open the bottle of Coke and prepared to pour some into Dee's glass. "Sorry I haven't got anything stronger in at the moment," he said with an apologetic smile. "I'll go out in a bit and get a takeaway and beers since we're having a boys' night in." He grinned and noted Bicky reciprocating the gesture, evidently pleased at the thought of indulging in a little adult male bonding, but Dee looked less enthusiastic. "Uh Ted, you haven't got any Diet Coke have you?" he asked before the other man could fill his glass. Ted froze with the bottle mid-tilt, like a child just told that Santa Claus didn't exist. "_Diet_?" he repeated, not certain he'd heard right.

"Uh yeah," Dee replied, feeling awkward that this was such a big deal. Damn diabetes, he thought darkly. "That's all they let you have in the hospital and I guess I acquired a taste for it. Can't stand the normal stuff now. It's okay if you've not got any, I'll just have water."

"Sure," Ted replied, taking the glass from him and heading back to the kitchen to fill it up. He chuckled to himself at his subsequent thought. "Next you're gonna tell me you've gone off beer too." He poked his head back around the kitchen doorway when he didn't receive a response and frowned at the serious expressions. "Sorry… did I say something wrong there?" he asked, worried that he'd inadvertently put his foot in it.

Dee was first to speak. "Look Ted, Drake, you may as well know. I've been diagnosed with type one diabetes. I've gotta watch what I eat and drink from now on, so I've gotta take it easy on the beer." He paused and rolled his eyes. "And the takeaways and the doughnuts and blah blah blah…"

"Jeez Dee, I'm really sorry, I didn't know," Ted said, holding the glass of water as he stood in the doorway. He glanced at Drake who was displaying a suitably surprised and sympathetic expression.

"Yeah well, how could you since I've never told anyone, well apart from Ryo and the kid of course."

Bicky frowned at being referred to as a 'kid' but didn't say anything as he paused his game to take a drink. "That must have seemed like really bad timing with everything else that's going on," Drake said quietly, knowing Ryo would be praying that he maintained the façade that he'd only just found out about Dee's condition.

"Yeah," Dee said dismissively, "But shit happens so I guess I just have to get on with it." He forced a smile. "At least Ryo's now got a reason to feed me all his health food crap." He looked across at his blond lover as he said it, letting the other man know that he was only joking.

"Okay," Ted said, handing Dee his glass of water. "Well if you want to choose what we have for dinner then me and Drake can go get it."

Dee nodded, grateful that neither man seemed overwhelmed by what he'd just told them. "What time d'you need to eat at?" Drake asked, and then in response to the green eyed detective's quizzical expression added, "I have a cousin with type one, so I kinda know how it all works."

Dee looked impressed and somewhat relieved. "I've been eating at about six pm," he said confidently; glad that he had told the two men he considered his closest friends about his condition. "And pizza should be okay." He glanced at Ryo who was smiling proudly at him and returned the expression, determined to keep it together in front of his friends despite the overwhelming urge to crawl into a corner and hide from this latest madness, which was now keeping them away from their own home.

TBC…


	19. Storm Rising

**Author's note: Chapter slightly revised to conform to no NC-17 rule. Original is posted at other fanfiction sites.**

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 19 – Storm Rising.

Berkley Rose downed the last of his drink and stood, realising that he'd probably drunk more than he'd thought as a warm fuzz surrounded him. The fuzz felt good; like a cushion between him and the real world, which quite frankly was pretty shitty at the moment. Leaving the anonymous bar he'd chosen to kill a couple of hours in, he stepped out onto the street, pulling his jacket around his body against the chilly evening breeze. Pausing to light a cigarette, he glanced around contemplating whether to walk or try and hail a cab. Although it wasn't particularly late, the roads were quiet and Rose decided to make his way home on foot; hopefully clearing his head of some of the alcohol he'd poured into his body.

Work was the reason for his seeking solace in the bottom of a glass. The precinct had been under constant media assault since the revelation about Henry Goldsmith earlier that day and Rose had spent the following hours trying to coordinate a huge exercise in damage limitation, all the while knowing that closing the stable door after the horse had already bolted was as desperate as it was futile. It was also hard to insist on presenting a united front when clearly someone from within had leaked the offending information in the first place.

In the mood for contemplation, Rose couldn't help but wonder who had tipped off the press. Chief Smith had barely spoken to him since the whole sorry saga had begun and both Drake and Ryo seemed suspicious of _something_. All were good men and none seemed like likely suspects but after recent events, Rose had come to the conclusion that the old X Files catchphrase 'trust no one' seemed a sensible stance to adopt. He'd trusted Henry to keep secret what had happened between them all those years ago and look where that had gotten him.

He passed a couple of people on the street before he turned a corner into a less populated area, which would cut at least ten minutes off his journey. A car passed him slowly, bathing the litter-strewn streets in the glow of its headlights as the occupant looked around for the ladies that could often be found touting their wares in this type of neighbourhood. Seeing no one but the blond man walking hard against the bitter wind, it drove on to a different hunting ground.

Tired of walking with only his thoughts to occupy him; Rose just wanted to be home. Trouble was, he couldn't stop thinking and he very much doubted he'd be able to sleep, such was the level of activity in his troubled mind. He was so preoccupied with thinking about not thinking that the realisation that there was a car behind him on the empty street came too late as the vehicle nudged the back of his legs and knocked him to the floor. It was only a glancing blow, but the fact that he was unprepared for it caused him to hit the ground hard, knocking the wind from him and preventing him from crying out in pain. Instinctively knowing he was in danger, he rolled away from the vehicle to put some distance between them in case the driver came at him again. Using a low wall for support, he pulled himself upright and turned to see the car idling in front of him, its passenger door now open. The headlights were on full but despite being nearly blinded, he could still make out the shape of a figure holding a handgun that was pointing directly at his head.

"Get in," the figure instructed, giving Rose little option but to comply. Slowly, and with the gun still trained on him, the police commissioner moved around the car and got in on the passenger side before the engine fired and the vehicle roared away into the night.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Diana Spacey stretched her long slim legs and yawned. The movie that had just ended had been watchable, just barely, and in the absence of anything else to do she decided to head off to bed. She stood and turned off the lamp in the corner of the room, using the glow from the street lamp outside to navigate her way around the now darkened room; not that there was much furniture to negotiate. The apartment was her New York base for when FBI business brought her back to the city of her birth. It wasn't a frequent event, hence the sparseness of the décor, but she was always glad to return, no matter how fleeting the stay.

On this occasion, she'd been back for almost a month. The case she was working on seemed to be dragging but it also meant she had opportunity to tie up a few personal loose ends. She was in the process of thinking about one of those loose ends while she waited for the kettle to boil when the intercom flared into life. Frowning, as she glanced at the clock, she headed over to the wall-mounted device and pressed the button.

"Hello?" she said, tucking her long blonde hair behind her ear. "Who is it?"

There was a moment of silence before a voice floated out of the speaker, its tones immediately alerting the intuitive woman that something was the matter. "Diana, it's Berkley. Can I come up?"

Her frown at the lateness of the hour stayed in place as she contemplated the reason for his unexpected visit. He sounded… well, in pain. "Berkley? Are you okay? I'm opening the door now."

She pressed the button that would allow Rose access to the building before slipping on some shoes and heading out of her apartment, leaving the door slightly ajar. She was worried; he hadn't sounded his usual confident self and the fact that he was here at all told her something was wrong. After she had turned down a marriage proposal at his request he had become distant again, as if he didn't want her to be his as much as he didn't want her to be anyone else's. She'd been hurt; but work had pulled her back to Los Angeles and she hadn't had much time to consider the mixed signals he was always giving her. She had intended to get back in touch when she'd been assigned back to New York but all the media interest in Rose's precinct had told her that now probably wasn't a good time for hauling him over the coals about how he had treated her.

The elevator was inching up towards her floor and she wrapped her arms around her body, realising it was colder than she'd thought after having spent all evening in her cosy apartment. When the doors slid open, she was greeted by the sight of her on-off lover leaning heavily against the back wall of the carriage, his arms wrapped around his body as if it would fall apart if he let go. One of the lenses in his glasses was smashed and a thin trickle of blood ran from his nose, down the side of his mouth and splashed onto his beige sports jacket.

"God, Berkley, what's happened to you?" Diana asked as she stepped into the elevator and offered him her hand. He ignored the gesture of support but answered her question as they started walking. "I ran into a bit of trouble," was all he said as she shepherded him inside the apartment and flicked on the light.

"That you did," she replied flatly, taking in his pallid skin and pain-pinched expression. "Can you take your coat off?"

He nodded before gingerly trying to shrug out of his outer clothing. Eventually he conceded defeat and allowed Diana to help him. He didn't protest as she started to unbutton his shirt, gasping as his battered flesh came into view. A rainbow of bruises covered his skin, angry and fresh and clearly the source of his pain.

"Jesus Christ, Berkley, who did this to you?" she asked, dragging her eyes away from his chest to his face.

The blond man avoided her gaze before he shrugged. "I don't know. It doesn't matter… look, I don't know why I even came here. I'm sorry…"

He picked his jacket up from where she had draped it over the back of the couch and made to leave. "You usually come when you need to talk about something that's troubling you," she said quietly as he placed his hand on the door handle. She watched as he stopped and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"You're right," he said without turning round. "But it's not your problem."

"Is it to do with that Goldsmith case?" she asked as he spun around to face her on hearing the name that was causing him untold nightmares. "I saw it on the news."

Berkley looked as if he was about to deny it before he nodded his head slowly, and the expression on his face told the female FBI agent that there was more to this than mere work stress. "Come on," she said, reaching out and taking his jacket from him. "Sit down and I'll get you a drink."

The blond commissioner did as he was told as she disappeared into the kitchen before returning with a large measure of brandy. She joined him on the couch, tucking her long legs under her body as she faced him, waiting for him to pour out his troubles. He took a drink, wincing at the taste before he finally turned to look at her. "I'm in a huge mess, Diana. A huge _fucking_ mess and I don't know what to do about it."

"Okay," she said calmly, "Is this because the kidnappers have accused Henry Goldsmith of arranging the crime against his family? He's a friend of yours isn't he?"

Rose nodded, draining the last of the brandy. "I _thought_ he was a friend. I can't believe he'd do something so stupid," he said cryptically, staring down at the empty glass in his hands.

"So you're saying it's true then?"

Rose sighed, knowing that he had unconsciously come to Diana's place instead of going home because he needed to unburden himself. There was no point holding out now. "Henry and I…" he said slowly, "Many years ago we…" He stopped and composed himself, knowing he wasn't making much sense. "I slept with Henry a long, long time ago. I'm ashamed to say it, Diana, but it was for money. I can try and justify it a million different ways but it boils down to the plain and simple fact that I needed money and he was offering it in return for sex. I always knew I wanted to join the police but I couldn't afford to put myself through college. Goldsmith offered me a way out and I took it."

Diana raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything as she sensed the other's shame. Clearly he had thought that everything that had happened would have stayed in the past where it belonged.

"I honestly didn't know that it was Henry that had plotted to have his own family kidnapped when I agreed to have my detectives investigate it as a favour. He eventually came and told me the truth after Latener had been rescued." He sighed and suddenly looked angry at his own naivety. "I should have guessed really, the way he was asking me to manage the case. He came to me just after Dee had been abducted and told me under no circumstances was I to let the suspect we had in custody go in exchange for Dee's release. He wouldn't explain then but the hint of a threat was enough to make me do as he said." He shook his head, ashamed of himself. "I risked the life of one of my men just to save myself."

Diana contemplated what to say that might ease his burden. "Okay, so you did wrong but Dee's okay, isn't he?"

Rose snorted. "Physically he will be but God only knows whether he'll recover from it mentally. I've not exactly helped matters either."

Diana frowned, recalling that Rose had never been particularly fond of the dark haired detective, but she didn't think he'd ever do anything to harm him. "What d'you mean?"

"Dee knows everything and could testify that Goldsmith was the one behind the kidnapping plot. When Henry got wind of this he came to see me and told me I'd better silence Dee or he'd take me down with him." He stopped speaking and looked at the blonde, his expression pleading with her to understand. "I couldn't let my secret get out, Diana. My career would be over."

"So what did you do?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Rose put the empty glass on the floor and pressed his hands to his eyes. "I blackmailed Dee using things I know abut Ryo to ensure his silence. He's agreed to keep quiet so that _should_ be the end of the matter. When it comes to trial, he'll deny everything and since there'll be no evidence to substantiate the suspects' accusations, the jury will write it off as their attempt to deflect guilt away from the De Lucas."

"So what's all this about?" she asked, gesturing towards his battered body. "Just a little reminder from Henry about your part in the bargain?"

Rose nodded and looked away. "I guess so. His lackeys told me I might want to go and see Dee again to remind him about our arrangement. It seems Henry is getting a little edgy."

Diana shook her head in disbelief. "I can understand why you did what you did, but don't you think this is getting a little out of hand? I mean, you're being beaten up, you're putting pressure on a man who, in your opinion, is already under immense psychological strain and the one person who really deserves all this shit is going to get away scot-free, with, I might add, his celebrity reputation still intact."

"I know," Rose snapped, "Don't you think I've considered how damned unfair this whole situation is? I know I've never really seen eye to eye with Dee but he doesn't deserve this and now he's got a bloody good reason to treat me like something he's scraped off the bottom of his shoe. D'you think I like the idea that he knows I've got something to hide?"

"But you'll always have that hanging over your head while you work with him and you can't fire him because he might suddenly decide one day to tell everyone what you did to him. D'you really want to live with that uncertainty?" she argued, trying to make him see sense.

"No," Rose replied wearily, "But coming clean is equally daunting."

Diana sighed before she looked at him squarely. "Well it's your decision, Berkley. You said yourself, Dee doesn't deserve this and neither do you, all for one indiscretion that happened so many years ago. I'd think long and hard about it before you let Dee lie on the stand for Henry Goldsmith."

"I know," Rose said quietly, wincing at the pain in his ribs. He looked up at the blonde and offered her a thin smile. "Thanks for talking, Diana."

She returned his smile with a warm one of her own. "No problem," she replied, pushing her golden locks back off her face. They stayed that way, eyes locked for several long moments before Rose spoke, his smile now gone.

"I'm really sorry," he said eventually, "About not returning your calls and everything."

Diana nodded and looked away. "It's okay. I'm used to it by now." She paused and offered him a wry smile despite her genuine hurt. "Let's face it; it's not the first time you've done a runner when things have gotten heavy between us."

"I know, but I made you turn down a marriage proposal and then walked away." He shook his head at his own despicable behaviour. "I'm amazed you even let me through the door tonight."

"Yeah well, you're a hard man to turn away, Berkley," she said, unfolding her legs and bringing them up so her chin rested on her knees as she looked at him. "Come on," she said, her voice still low and husky. "Let's go to bed."

The blond man nodded as he looked up at her and stroked her golden locks. "I'd love to," he replied, glad that she'd helped him forget about his problems, even if it was only temporarily.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Across the city, Dee Latener was lying awake as he'd done every night since he'd been rescued. Entangled in his arms lay his blond lover, breathing softly and a million miles away from the restless state Dee currently occupied. He'd been unable to get any real rest for some time now and sleeping in a strange bed didn't help matters, not that he wasn't grateful to Ted for giving up his apartment to them for the night. Bicky was outside on the couch, covered by blankets and judging by the snores emanating from the living room, sleeping soundly too. Only Dee, who was the most in need of slumber, was awake as the clock passed midnight, signifying the start of another day.

He looked down at Ryo laying in his arms and sighed, wishing for not the first time that the events of the last couple of weeks were nothing more than a figment of his overactive imagination. The trial was looming, causing the media circus to swell to epic proportions and the thought of spending the next two weeks having his life exposed under that media microscope was enough to make him want to run away. Sure he wanted to see his kidnapper face justice, but the knowledge that he would have to lie to protect another despicable man was weighing heavily on his mind.

Before he had met Ryo, he may have considered just disappearing, but now he had others to think about besides himself. Glancing down at the man he loved, he silently accepted that running away just wasn't an option. By morning, Dee had come to a decision. As soon as nine o'clock rolled around, he intended to get on the phone to the DA's office and get them to come and take his statement as soon as possible. After serious contemplation he'd decided that the constant agonising over making a false statement was hindering his recovery and so the sooner he got it out the way, the better.

The morning dawned and Ryo went off to work, taking Bicky with him to drop the protesting boy directly at the school gates. He'd been worried about leaving Dee alone but before they'd had to make any decisions about what to do, Polly Andrews the psychiatrist had rung, apologetically asking could they change the time of their appointment to the morning. She offered to come out to the apartment and so Dee agreed, explaining they were not at home and giving her directions to Ted's place. Ryo had then left feeling much more relieved knowing Dee would not be alone while he was in work.

He arrived at the precinct having dropped Bicky off, to find Ted and Drake nursing strong cups of coffee in their cramped office. Both looked worse for wear, and on the receiving end of particularly large hangovers. Ted explained they'd gone back to Drake's after leaving his own apartment around ten o'clock and drunk their way through a large crate of beer, finally falling asleep as the sun had started to rise. In between bemoaning their headaches and unsettled stomachs, they informed Ryo that Rose had scheduled a meeting for half an hour's time. Ryo rolled his eyes and dropped into his seat, the old chair creaking under the strain as he contemplated the thought of spending time in Rose's company. He knew his senior was up to _something_; and whatever it was, he was certain it affected Dee.

Half an hour passed quickly and soon the small office was filled with the group of detectives Rose had chosen to brief at that appointed time. Word in the precinct was Rose was making a point of talking to everyone remotely connected with the Goldsmith case; he had said it was to advise them about dealing with the media although all in question knew he was really trying to seek out who had leaked the information in the first place. Ryo sat at his desk staring at his cup of tea, long gone cold as he heard the door open. Out of his peripheral vision he caught Drake's frown as he sat at the desk across from him and looked up to see what the other man was staring at.

Rose had just entered the office but Drake had immediately noticed there was something wrong with the commissioner, just as Ryo did too as he studied Rose's movements. As he took his seat at the top of the room, the older man looked stiff and in pain as he lowered himself gingerly into the chair, his expression never changing from the look of displeasure he shot the all-male group in the over crowded office. Evidently Drake and Ryo weren't the only ones to notice their commissioner's pained movements when an older detective called Eddings asked the boss if he was okay.

"I'm fine," Rose answered sharply, "Just a little over-exertion at the gym, that's all."

Before anyone could reply, he called the meeting to start and launched into a lengthy diatribe about the importance of keeping police business away from the media, all the time watching each of the men carefully to see if their faces would betray them under his scrutiny and reveal the source of the leak. Throughout the lecture, Ryo paid little attention as his anger simmered. Rose didn't care about anything other than saving his millionaire friend's ass.

"Sir?" he said finally, cutting into Rose's speech. "Permission to ask a question?"

Rose looked surprised by the interruption but nodded anyway. "Sure."

Ryo sat forward in his chair, his body language telling the other men in the room that this was no straightforward question he was about to ask. His demeanour was somewhat aggressive; a sight more often seen on his beloved partner than the easy going blond. His dark eyes were bright with anger and few failed to miss it.

"Can I ask, _Sir,_" he said, inflecting the last word heavily, "Why we're putting all this effort into protecting someone, who for all we know _could_ be guilty of the accusations against him when Dee is getting no support from this department in dealing with the media that are constantly harassing him. He's giving his statement this afternoon to the DA's office; he tried to do it about a week ago but couldn't because he was still so traumatised."

Stunned silence followed, which Rose was about to break before Ryo spoke again, determined not to let the other man speak until he had said all he wanted to say. "Last night, we were forced to stay away from our own home because of the number of reporters camped out on our landing, waiting for a photo or a comment or whatever the hell they wanted. Dee needs to recover _in peace_, not with this… this _circus_ going on around him, but other than some good friends who know who they are, there has been _no one_ from the _law enforcement family_ to help us. Indeed Sir," he said coldly, about to twist the knife even further, "I can't recall you ever asking me since the day Dee was rescued how he's getting on. Do you even care?"

Rose looked dumbfounded as all eyes turned to him, awaiting his response. Ryo looked so angry that he wasn't sure what he could say that would placate him. Rose himself was furious that Ryo was bringing about this dialogue in such a public place but he couldn't blame him either; he _had_ done very little to support Dee since he had been rescued, other than authorising the charging of Dee's medical expenses to the department. In the way of anything other than financial support, he had done nothing, just as Ryo had accused.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Randy," he said calmly, "But I thought it would be best not to unnerve Dee by a constant police presence. If you feel it will help then I'll gladly organise some uniformed support for you."

He jumped as Ryo slammed his fist down on the desk. "Goddamnit Rose! Just ask how Dee is! D'you really hate him that much?"

"No I don't," Rose replied, not willing to be humiliated by this encounter. "And of course I care; I care about all my men, so tell me how he is. I _have_ enquired but the hospital won't give out any information."

There was a moment of angry silence as the other men watched this Mexican standoff with increasing discomfort. Eventually Ryo responded; his voice now drained of anger, replaced with hurt. "He's suffering, for a multitude of reasons and if this carries on, there's not going to be much of the old Dee left for you to hate." He snorted as he eyed Rose dangerously, his rising anger the only thing keeping tears at bay. "Every cloud has a silver lining, huh, _Sir_?" he said as he shoved back his chair and stormed from the office, slamming the door behind him with a resounding bang.

TBC…


	20. Solutions and their Problems

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 20 – Solutions and their Problems.

Ryo hadn't been up on the roof long before the door tentatively opened and Drake stuck his head out, looking left and right before he spotted the blond detective leaning against the guard rail, his hair blowing gently in the breeze.

"Hey," Drake said, alerting Ryo to his approach as he came to stand next to the other man. "Thought I'd find you here."

"What have I just done, Drake?" Ryo said suddenly, spinning round to face his companion, his face etched in disbelief. "I just couldn't stop myself! I mean, we have to sit there and listen to him tell us what a hard time of it Henry Goldsmith's having because of all the media attention? What about Dee and me? Doesn't that matter?"

Drake placed a supportive hand on Ryo's shoulder. "Of course it matters. Rose is just too stuck up his own ass to see it. Every word of what you said in there was the truth."

"That may be so," Ryo replied as he turned back around and looked down onto the street below. "But I very much doubt Rose appreciated hearing it in front of a room full of his men." He sighed and shook his head at his own recklessness. "What did he say?"

Drake joined him at the guardrail. "He told me to tell you to take the next couple of days off."

Ryo's eyes widened as turned to his companion. Was Rose firing him? Drake obviously read his thoughts as he offered the blond a reassuring smile. "Don't worry; he's not giving you the boot for insubordination or anything. He just made some comment about how he'd obviously underestimated the stress you were under caring for Dee."

Ryo snorted, although he was relieved that he wasn't in serious trouble. "That's big of him," he growled before he shook his head in frustration. "I swear there's something going on, Drake. Rose is getting weirder by the day and Dee _still_ hasn't said anything about him going to see him when he was in hospital."

Drake pushed his hair away from his eyes as the breeze blew the light brown strands back and forth. "Is everything okay between you and Dee? You can tell me to butt out…"

"No, it's okay." Ryo replied, not wanting Drake to feel like he was intruding. He needed someone to talk to and the other man had shown time and time again that he could be relied on. "I think things are okay." He stopped suddenly and looked at Drake squarely. "Do you think Dee loves me?" he asked. "I mean _really_ loves me?"

Drake looked surprised at the question before his face broke into a wide smile. "I think it's safe to say that Dee is well and truly head over heels for you, Ryo." His expression suddenly turned solemn. "No seriously, Ryo, Dee fell in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you. I've known him a long time and I've never known him pursue anyone the way he pursued you. He was crazy about you and still is. Why'd you ask?"

Ryo looked awkward for a moment before he decided to tell Drake everything. "A couple of days ago I asked Dee to marry me."

Drake's eyes widened. "Really? Oh wow, I bet you made his day, I bet…"

"He said no."

"_What_?" Drake replied, looking genuinely stunned. "Oh… I er…"

"It's okay," Ryo said quickly. "It was stupid of me to ask him. I should have known that Dee wouldn't have wanted to get married."

"Why? What did he say," Drake asked.

"He said there was too much going on for him at the moment."

"And you don't believe him?"

Ryo shrugged as he watched a woman on the street below struggling with several bags worth of shopping. "I don't know…" When the woman turned the corner and disappeared from view he turned to look at Drake. "Why?"

Drake suddenly looked uneasy; as if he was telling tales. "It's just Dee's mentioned wanting commitment before." Ryo looked puzzled so Drake felt obliged to explain. "I just presumed he'd have jumped at the chance to marry you. He's said plenty of times that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you." His dark eyes were sincere. "I think he's telling the truth, Ryo. If all this hadn't happened, I'm sure he'd have married you like a shot. Did he say no and that was the end of it?"

Ryo shook his head. "He told me to ask him again in a few months."

"Well there you go," Drake replied confidently, "You've got to believe him."

Ryo contemplated Drake's words before his expression brightened, a smile splitting his handsome features. "Yeah… I guess you're right. Thanks, Drake."

The other man returned the gesture. "No problem… now get your ass home before Rose changes his mind and makes you work overtime instead."

Ryo chuckled as Drake slung an arm around his shoulders and they both headed back inside.

Rose shut himself inside his office and limped around his desk. The painkillers he'd taken that morning were wearing off and fast, and as a consequence, his mood was slipping into dark territory. He was doubly aching; although he didn't regret going to see Diana, their lovemaking had left him feeling considerably worse for wear. As his thoughts turned to the attractive blond, his eyes strayed to the framed photograph on his desk. In it, he was pictured with a large group of individuals, including Diana. It had been taken as they celebrated the success of a joint investigation with the FBI, hence Diana's presence and the elation on everyone's faces. He himself was sporting a huge grin of satisfaction as his arm was affectionately draped around the female FBI agent's shoulders. At the time, they had just been friends but their proximity to each other on the picture had been a sign of things to come.

Lowering himself carefully into his large leather chair, he picked up the photo and gazed at it for several long moments. Diana was so beautiful. Sure, he liked men too but there was something about the powerful, yet feminine blond that turned his head every time she was around. More so than that, she seemed to understand him like no one else.

Feeling strangely sentimental, he touched her image on the photo and recalled their encounter the previous evening. After he had been beaten as a warning from his so-called friend Henry, he had contemplated where to go. Home had been just as near but for some reason, he had _needed_ to see her. Of course, the way he had treated her the last time she had been in New York, he knew he didn't deserve her time or sympathy but as usual, she had opened her arms to him and offered him advice without being judgmental.

Placing the picture down, he picked up the neatly folded newspaper set in front of him on the desk. He always made a point of checking the papers whether his precinct was making the headlines or not but at the moment, he was spending more and more time pouring over the printed words as the Goldsmith kidnapping saga continued to be the talk of the town. As he unfolded the most recent edition of the _New York Enquirer_, he was greeted by a large photograph of Henry and his family, accompanied by the banner headline that screamed: '_My Kidnapping Hell'_ with a smaller paragraph underneath that read '_The truth behind my family's ordeal and how we won't be beaten by these fallacious allegations.'_  In the photo, Henry had one arm protectively around his beautiful wife as their two children stood in front of them, both immaculately dressed and wearing expressions that invited sympathy for the nightmare they were continuing to endure.

Seeing the photo was enough to set Rose on edge but as he started to read, he could feel his anger rising. The article was a pathetic, sycophantic piece that heaped praise on the bravery of Henry and his family with no mention of Dee or Ryo and what _they_ had endured. Without realising it, he was scrunching the paper up in his hands as he attempted to swallow the blatant lies before he could take no more, and he forced the offending item into the trash can with a growl of fury. At the same time, he made a snap decision, pressing the intercom on his desk connecting him to his secretary. "Jane, I'm going out. I'll be back later." Almost immediately, the clerk's soft tones came back through the device, sounding slightly bewildered. "Where shall I say you are if anyone calls?"

Rose thought about it for a moment as he hooked his car keys from his desk drawer. "Just out," he replied before he hurried from the office, letting the door slam behind him.

Ryo stepped into the apartment, using the key Ted had given him, and placed his briefcase by the door. "Dee? I'm back," he called, looking around for his lover. He heard the sound of movement before a dark head appeared around the kitchen door.

"You're early," Dee commented, glancing at the clock on the opposite wall.

"Yeah," Ryo replied, stepping away from the door as he loosened his tie. "Rose gave me a couple of days off."

Dee frowned as he worked his way towards the blond on his crutches. "For no reason? Just like that?"

Ryo looked sheepish before he decided to tell Dee the truth. "We had a meeting and I lost my temper. I said… well, a few things that I'm sure Rose didn't really want to hear and stormed out."

"Has he suspended you?" Dee asked, looking worried.

Ryo shook his head as he reached up and tucked some of Dee's unruly hair behind his ear so he could see his face better. "No. Apparently he made some comment about underestimating how much stress I was under, and thought giving me a couple of days off would make amends. He said I could leave straight away."

Dee snorted and nodded his understanding. "Well it's good timing as Polly's just left."

"Yeah?" Ryo replied as he shrugged out of his jacket and took a seat in one of the armchairs as Dee lowered himself onto the couch and discarded his crutches. "How did it go?"

"S'okay," Dee said vaguely. "She's diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Apparently that's why I've been having panic attacks and trouble sleeping."

Ryo's eyes widened as he stood and moved across to the couch, sitting down beside Dee and taking up one of his hands. "So how d'you feel about that?"

 "Now you sound like her." Dee smiled a wry smile before he shrugged in answer to his lover's question. "I dunno, I guess it's helpful to know I'm not going crazy but it doesn't really change anything per se."

"So is there treatment?" Ryo asked and was relieved when Dee nodded. "There are drug therapies but I don't want to go down that route. I've got enough on my plate dealing with my insulin without taking tablets too. The alternative is regular therapy with Polly, much like the stuff we've been doing already. Now that I have a diagnosis she's said the precinct will continue to fund my sessions with her as long as I need them."

"That's good," Ryo replied, nodding thoughtfully before his deliberations turned to the fact that they hadn't been home in almost twenty four hours. He was about to tentatively broach the subject when Dee said suddenly, "Ryo, d'you mind if we go back to our apartment? Not that I'm not grateful to Ted or anything but well, it's a bit weird being in someone else's home. I can't seem to relax."

Ryo smiled; relieved that Dee had suggested what he himself had been reluctant to mention.

After ensuring that the apartment was tidy, they set off in Ryo's car, both anxious to find out whether the masses of reporters camped on their doorstep had got bored waiting and finally gone away. Fortunately they had; and the sound of silence as they let themselves into the apartment was heavenly. As they both crashed onto the couch, Ryo sighed heavily. "Remind me to get Ted a bottle of wine or something to say thank you," he said, glancing at Dee who looked as if he was about to go to sleep.

Before Dee could respond, there was an insistent knock at the door. The two men looked each other; wearing matching frowns since neither were expecting anyone at that time.

"I wonder who that could be," Ryo mused as he went to answer it.

"If it's the DA's office then they're about three hours too early," Dee responded, craning his neck to try and see who it was as Ryo released the catch.

"Commissioner," Ryo said in surprise as he opened the door to reveal Rose stood in the hallway. "You _did_ say I was all right to leave before?" he asked, suddenly worried that Drake may have misinterpreted what Rose had said.

The blond man nodded, although his expression remained grim. "I've come to see Dee. I need to speak with him urgently."

Ryo didn't answer straight away as he did an instant assessment to determine whether he should lie and say Dee was at the hospital. Knowing he was a lousy liar, he nodded and said, "You'd better come in then." Rose detected the slightly hostile tone in the other man's voice and he knew the next part wasn't going to be easy.

"Hello, Dee," he said, stepping into the apartment and seeing the dark haired man on the couch. "I need to talk to you," he said, before quickly glancing at Ryo. "In private."

Just as Rose had predicted, Ryo shook his head vigorously. "Oh no… If you have anything to say to Dee then you can say it in front of me." He looked defiantly at his senior with his hands planted firmly on his hips. Rose turned to Dee; his expression communicating that he would not say what he had to say in front of Ryo.

"Ryo," Dee said eventually, "I'm running low on pain killers and my leg is killing me. Would you go out and get me some, love?" Ryo opened his mouth to speak, knowing Dee's request was nothing more than a ploy to get him out of the way, but his lover continued. "_Please_," he said, his eyes silently pleading with Ryo not to make a scene. "I'll be okay, really."

Letting his jaw snap shut without voicing his protest, Ryo nodded and moved to the door, collecting up his jacket and checking that his wallet was in the inside pocket. "Okay," he replied, eyeing Rose warningly as he passed. "But I have my cell phone on me so ring me if you want me back straight away."

Dee nodded gratefully as Ryo left the apartment, the door clicking shut behind him. There was a moment of silence as the two remaining men stared at each other before Dee said caustically, "So what do I owe this honour, Commissioner?"

Rose moved to sit in one of the armchairs, wincing as his damaged flesh came into contact with the back of the seat. Dee noticed the pain in his sharp features but didn't say anything as he continued to wonder why Rose was here at all.

"I hear you plan on making your statement today," Rose asked after a pause.

Dee made a face, and went immediately on the defensive. "Look Commissioner, I heard you loud and clear at the hospital so you really don't need to be here giving me this little pep talk. We had a deal didn't we?"

Rose nodded as he clasped his hands together. "Yes we did, but the deal's now off."

"Off? What d'you mean _off_?"

"I want you to tell the truth," Rose said, fixing Dee with an intense stare. "I want you to tell them what you know about Henry's involvement."

Dee looked stunned and for a while said nothing as he absent-mindedly picked at the top of the plaster cast on his leg. "But why?" he said eventually, "I don't understand…"

"You were right," Rose said simply, "He doesn't deserve to get away with it and I'm truly sorry I ever told you to lie for him in the first place. When the DA's office come to take your statement, make sure you tell them everything."

"Okay," Dee said nodding his agreement; lost in thought as he tried to figure out what might have changed Rose's mind.

"But there will be consequences," Rose said ominously, drawing Dee from his reverie. "Henry will be taken in for questioning as soon the DA's office have your statement. He'll know then that you haven't covered for him. He's a dangerous man, Dee, and he'll stop at nothing to prevent you from testifying. I suggest as soon as you've given your statement, you, Ryo and Bicky pack up some things and we can get you into a safe house until the trial is over."

Dee stared for a moment before he shook his head. "We're staying here," he said firmly. "We're not running away." 

"Think sensibly," Rose snapped, almost shouting. "You have a family to protect," he said, gesturing at the photograph on the coffee table showing Dee, Ryo and Bicky stood together with Cal in happier times. "Do you want them to go through what you did? I promise you, Henry will stop at nothing…" He suddenly felt guilty seeing Dee's haunted expression and tried to make amends. "You're a good man, Dee, and I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I know you don't deserve any of this. You can make sure Henry will pay for his crimes but you need to protect yourself at the same time. Take my advice and get to a safe house until the trial starts."

Dee watched as Rose stood gingerly and headed towards the door. "What happened to you?" he asked before the other man could leave. Rose turned and responded with a humourless smile. "Let's just say I walked into a couple of fists, courtesy of my friend Henry." He emitted a short bark of equally humourless laughter. "Stupid man. He actually helped me make my mind up about the whole thing."

"But what about you?" Dee said. "I thought he knew things about you."

Rose looked at him squarely. "Yes he does. They were mistakes I made a long time ago but I can't live with him dangling them over my head every time he wants something. If I lose my job then that's the price I have to pay for being young and foolish once."

Dee nodded, recalling that he too had done things in his past that he wasn't proud of. He actually felt some sympathy towards his senior, knowing how much the other man loved his job and finally appreciating what it would mean to Rose if his position in authority was stripped from him.

"Then I hope it doesn't come to that, " he said honestly as Rose opened the door and was about to step out of the apartment.

"Thank you," Rose said sincerely, "Oh and Dee? I'll destroy that note in Ryo's file. He'll get the job of coordinator of the armed response unit whether I'm commissioner or not."

He was rewarded by a grateful smile, which he acknowledged with a nod before he closed the door, leaving Dee alone in the apartment until Ryo got back.

By the time Ryo did come back, Dee had decided to tell the other man everything. After all; if they were going to have to go to a safe house, then his lover would realise that something was seriously wrong. Although he was nervous, he was also relieved that he no longer had to lie to the man he loved; Rose had released the chains and for that he was grateful to the man that had never previously shown him anything other than dislike and contempt. In a bizarre way, what happened had helped Dee understand more about Berkley Rose and what made him tick. Although he hadn't actually said what it was that Henry knew about him, Dee sensed that perhaps he and his superior weren't all that different after all.

Ryo looked worried as he entered the apartment, even when he was greeted by a reassuring smile from the man he loved. Seeing Rose was no longer there, he hurried into the room and took the seat beside Dee, not sure whether to check the other man was okay or be angry at him for sending him away. Concern however was his overriding instinct and he moved close, his hand coming to rest on Dee's thigh as he gazed into those deep green eyes looking for any sign of pain or fear that their superior's visit might have caused him.

Dee knew the look and leaned in to kiss Ryo gently on the lips. "I'm fine," he said before Ryo could ask the inevitable question, "But we need to talk."

"Sure," Ryo replied, not attempting to hide his apprehension. "What's wrong?"

Dee sat back on the couch and sighed as he rubbed a hand across his face. "The things the suspects are saying about Henry Goldsmith… well they're true. He did plan the kidnapping." Ryo looked surprised, despite having always had the feeling that the millionaire had been involved more deeply than it appeared on the surface.

"How… how d'you know?" he asked, staring at his dark haired lover as he started to speak about things that he'd kept locked up for so long.

"I overheard an incriminating phone call. The suspect that abducted me has already told his brief that I've heard Goldsmith admit his guilt and so I'll be made to testify against him."

Ryo nodded slowly, taking in all of what Dee was saying. "Why didn't you say anything before?" he asked gently.

Dee's reply was preceded by a tight lipped smile. "I was 'asked' not to divulge the information by the commissioner." He watched as Ryo frowned, reading between the lines and realising what his lover was actually saying. "What? Rose told you to lie? _On the stand_?" He shook his head in disbelief when Dee nodded. "The bastard!" he said angrily, "How dare he think you'd do such a thing!" He stopped as Dee looked up at him, his expression solemn. "Oh Dee, you weren't actually going to do it were you?"

Dee looked away. "There were extenuating circumstances but it doesn't matter now. Rose wants me to tell the truth."

Ryo snorted derisively. "Well that's good of him," he said picturing the subdued commissioner before a thought occurred to him and he frowned. "Wait a minute… Something had happened to him hadn't it? This morning, he was walking like he'd gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson."

His reasoning was rewarded by an affirmative from Dee. "Yes. Rose was being blackmailed by Goldsmith. He has something on Rose that could potentially ruin our commissioner's career. He took a beating last night to remind him what he had to do. Obviously it had the opposite effect." He shrugged, surprising Ryo with his nonchalance.  "You can see why Rose did what he did."

"Surely you're not _defending_ him?"

"Like hell!" Dee snapped. "But like I said, there were extenuating circumstances."

Ryo took a deep breath, sensing an impending row if he didn't take a step back. He trusted Dee when he said there were 'extenuating circumstances' but he still didn't like it. He wasn't sure he'd be able to look Rose in the eye ever again.

"So you're going to testify against Goldsmith," Ryo said eventually. "That should be the end of it, right?"

The nod he received in response was barely noticeable. "Once I've given my statement, Goldsmith will be asked to answer these allegations. He'll know that I've confirmed the suspect's story and therefore gone back on the arrangement that he'd set up with Rose. Rose thinks we'll be in danger once Goldsmith finds out." He looked straight at Ryo to check the other man understood. "Rose says we need to move out to a safe house until the trial's over."

If Ryo didn't realise what Dee had been saying before then he did now. His eyes widened, topped by delicate blond eyebrows that knitted together in concern. "A safe house?" he replied, "Dee, is it really that serious?"

Dee nodded grimly, his eyes sweeping the floor. "Apparently Henry Goldsmith's reach is pretty impressive." He looked up suddenly; anguish swimming within his deep green eyes. "I can't let anything happen to you or Bicky. It'd kill me." His hands went to cover his face but Ryo caught them and held them on his lap.

"Don't worry Dee, I'll sort everything out," he said reassuringly. "I'll arrange to see Bicky's principal, tell him I'm taking him out of school for a couple of weeks. Rose will have to give me time off and we'll have to sort something out with the hospital since you'll not be able to make it to your appointments…" Ever the practical thinker, Ryo had immediately begun to contemplate what this upheaval would mean.

"It'd be easier just to back Goldsmith up and be done with it," Dee said wearily, and although it was just a comment, Ryo knew that the dark haired detective was really seeking his opinion as to whether he should do it or not. Admittedly it _would_ be easier and Ryo was tempted to agree, just to spare his lover any more trauma that would surely be hindering his recovery. However, his strong sense of justice prevailed and he reached up, taking Dee's face gently within his hands and bringing it close to his. "Don't say it Dee, because I know you don't want to do it."

"But you and Bicky wouldn't be in danger then…."

"Shhhhh," Ryo whispered, halting his lover's half-hearted protestations. As Dee closed his eyes, Ryo ran his thumbs gently over the olive lids before he leaned forward and kissed each one gently. "He may not have kidnapped you himself Dee, but Henry Goldsmith is the cause of everything that you've been through recently. He hurt you and he hurt me and Bicky because we love you and hate seeing you suffer. Don't you want to see him pay for what he's done? Rose was his friend and even he wants to see him go down. Sure, lying for him would be the easier option but would you really be happy knowing you'd helped him go free?"

He waited until Dee opened his eyes and shook his head. When he saw the movement Ryo smiled, knowing his lover would make the right decision before he leaned in and claimed Dee's lips, kissing him passionately until they both had to break off for air. "What time are the guys from the DA's office coming?" Ryo asked, sounding slightly breathless.

"Two o'clock," Dee replied, savouring the tempting scent of his lover as they remained intimately close. For a moment he let his mind drift, recalling the first time he'd ever noticed how good Ryo smelled; and how from then on, he'd tried to get close to the other man at every opportunity in order for him to inhale the tantalising aroma that was so uniquely Ryo. A melancholy thought occurred, where he wondered whether life would ever allow him to experience such simple pleasures again without the dark shadow of depression over his shoulder.

Whether it showed on his face or not, Ryo seemed to sense Dee's mood slipping and he decided to halt the decline while he could. He jumped up, and in response to Dee's surprised expression, smiled and said, "Hold on a minute, I'll be right back."

Without another word, he disappeared into their bedroom and was gone for several minutes, leaving Dee to ponder exactly what he was up to now.

TBC…


	21. Try a Little Tenderness

**Author's note: Chapter revised to conform to no NC-17 rule. The original lemon scene can be found at other fanfiction sites.**

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 21 – Try a Little Tenderness

Ryo had been gone for several minutes, leaving Dee in the living room trying to work out exactly what his lover was up to from the noises coming from behind the bedroom door.

"Ryo…" Dee complained; he hated being kept in the dark about anything. "What are you doing?"

Eventually Ryo re-emerged, dressed only in his robe. "Come on," he said, walking over to Dee and offering the bewildered man his hand.

Dee seemed to contemplate what Ryo was up to before he decided to trust the handsome blond and took his hand. He was about to tell Ryo to get his crutches if they were going somewhere before his lover had scooped him into his arms and carried him towards their bedroom. Ryo couldn't help but notice how light Dee even already knowing that his lover had lost a substantial amount of weight during his ordeal. He still looked a little gaunt in his face, with any attempt at weight gain hindered by the careful monitoring of his diet for his diabetes.

With a broad smile of confidence, Ryo kicked open the door with his foot. Inside, the curtains were drawn but the room was lit by several candles dotted around the room. The small CD player on the dresser was on; playing the soothing music that Ryo liked to listen to when he was relaxing in the bath. On the floor, Ryo had laid a large pillow, next to which sat a small assortment of bottles. When he saw Dee staring at them, he smiled and kissed him, distracting him temporarily as he set him down on the bed.

Without breaking the kiss, he began to take Dee's clothes off, divesting him first of his shirt, thankful that for once he was wearing something with buttons. The track pants came off with slightly more of a struggle but before long, Dee was sat in nothing but his boxer shorts and a half-leg plaster cast. He still looked puzzled until Ryo picked him up again and carried him over to the area he had prepared on the floor, laying the dark haired man down on the oversized pillow and encouraging him to turn over onto his front.

Touching the bare olive skin, Ryo could feel the tenseness in his lover's muscles and he set about remedying it as he removed his robe and sat astride the other man's body. "Just relax, baby," Ryo soothed as he uncapped one of the bottles and poured some of the scented oil into his hands, warming it first before he applied it to his lover's bare back. He smiled at hearing Dee moan gently as he started to knead the muscles in his shoulders, working them until the knots of tension began to break up.

"Is that good?" he asked, as he turned his attention to Dee's lower back, struggling to grab any flesh on the man's lean frame. A murmur was the response and Ryo chuckled to himself; pleased that Dee was enjoying his hastily thought out plan to help him relax.

He continued to work his magic for another twenty minutes or so, until Dee's entire back and arms were silky smooth and completely free from tension. With hands aching from overuse, Ryo leaned down and kissed the other man gently on the back of the neck. He felt Dee shudder beneath him as he turned his attention to an exposed ear, tugging at it playfully as he held it between his teeth. Dee groaned, squirming beneath him until he managed to flip over onto his back, freeing his sensitive lobe from its tormentor.

He looked up at Ryo, gazing down at him as he smoothed his wavy blond hair away from his eyes, and smiled. "You're so sexy, you know that?" He reached up and touched the blond man's face, before he smiled at a surfacing memory. "D'you remember when we first met and I told you that you had an unbelievably beautiful face?" Dee chuckled. "You almost smacked me."

Still sat astride his lover, Ryo laughed too. "Yeah I remember. I was secretly very flattered though."

"You hid it well," Dee grinned, recalling the number of times Ryo had threatened his life when he'd shown any affection towards him. "Who'd have thought we'd have ended up like this, with you seducing me on your bedroom floor."

Ryo feigned a look of innocence, although he was pleased that Dee's sense of humour was showing itself at last. "I wasn't aware I was seducing you, Detective Latener. I was merely trying to help you relax."

One dark eyebrow arched sceptically. "With candles and the whole shebang?" he asked, smirking as he gestured to the bottles and the CD player. Ryo looked suitably hurt, despite the smile twitching at his lips and Dee decided to play along.

"I'm sorry baby, how can I make it up to you?" he asked, sitting up slightly and draping his arms around Ryo's neck. The blond smiled as he shook his head. "You just have," he said, before his expression grew serious. "I miss your smile, Dee," he said quietly, as tears began to blur his vision. "I miss your laughter." The emotion suddenly gripped him as a lone tear slipped onto his cheek. "I miss _you_."

Dee looked away as his own eyes misted over. "I know," he said almost inaudibly. "I hate feeling like this…" He looked up suddenly, pained green eyes meeting brown. "I need to forget, Ryo," he said pleadingly, "_Please_, make me forget?"

Ryo reached up and took his handsome face gently in his hands before he leaned in and started to kiss every inch of it. When he came to Dee's left cheek, ravaged by infection and still scarred and inflamed from the recent graft, he didn't shy away; his lips gently grazing the repaired flesh to show he didn't care that his face was no longer aesthetically perfect. "You're beautiful, Dee," he said, pulling back for a moment so he could look into the other's eyes, brushing aside a tear with his thumb. "Inside and out. The only thing that's changed is that I love you even more than before. And I know that tomorrow I'll love you even more than today. It's a cliché I know, but that's how I feel."

Despite his emotion, Dee managed a smile, feeling safe and secure in Ryo's arms. They continued to kiss and touch as the music played in the background, providing the perfect accompaniment to their tender affections until Dee shifted slightly, so that his lips were at Ryo's ear.

"Make love to me Ryo."

"Anything for you, Dee," came the response as Ryo internally rejoiced that his lover was instigating such a level of intimacy. Although he'd never have said it, he'd missed that side of their relationship since Dee had been hurt. "Are you sure?" he asked, wanting to be absolutely certain that what they were about to do wouldn't cause more harm than good.

"Yes," Dee replied firmly, "More than sure."

Forty five minutes later, the two men had washed, changed and eaten and were awaiting the arrival of the investigators. As the appointed hour drew nearer, Dee had resorted to the comfort of cigarettes, smoking several in quick succession, much to Ryo's exasperation. He was just about to light up again when there was a knock at the door. Ryo emerged from the kitchen, wiping his hands on his jeans and casting Dee a nervous glance as he passed.

Recognising them from when he had seen them leaving after their last disastrous attempt to interview his lover, Ryo let the two investigators in and gestured for them to sit.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked them, trying to make the situation seem less formal.

"No thank you," Harris, the older man, replied with a smile. "I've already had about four cups of coffee today and I'm trying to cut down." His partner Shaun King also replied in the negative as Ryo came to sit beside Dee on the couch.

"How are you feeling, Detective Latener?" Harris asked, turning his attention to the anxious looking man fumbling with his packet of cigarettes. Green eyes shot up to meet the man's concerned gaze and he responded with a thin smile.

"It's Dee, really, and I've been better, but things are improving. I'm being well looked after," he replied, shooting a knowing smile at Ryo.

The blond man blushed slightly and cleared his throat, recalling just how well he'd been looking after his lover a mere hour earlier. Oblivious to the private joke, Investigator Harris opened his briefcase and took out a pad, pen and his dictaphone and set them down on the coffee table in front of him.

"Okay Dee, when you're ready and please, take your own time. I want you to tell me first of all, what happened on the night you were abducted. I'll ask questions as we go along but please tell me anything you can remember so we've the best possible case against your kidnapper. Are you ready to start?"

Dee took a deep breath and nodded resolutely, feeling determined to get through this now the burden of lying to protect Goldsmith had been lifted from him. Now he didn't have to lie to Ryo anymore either, the other man could stay with him; his strong presence offering Dee the support he badly needed.

"I… I don't remember much about the actual night," Dee admitted once Harris had started the dictaphone recording. He explained about the hoax call that had taken him to the abandoned diner before his mind turned to how he'd ended up as a hostage. "I got back in my car, intending to call Ryo to let him know what had happened," he said, glancing left at his lover who gave him a reassuring smile, "And then I was hit with something hard over the back of my head, knocking me unconscious."

"So you didn't actually see anyone then?"

Dee shook his head. "No. Whoever it was must have climbed into the back of my car when I'd got out to look around. When I woke up, I was bound and blindfolded, as I was the entire time I was held hostage."

"So you never actually saw who it was that took you?"

"No."

Ryo saw the two investigators exchange glances, knowing that this wouldn't help their case against the suspects. "Is that going to be a big problem?" he asked, looking worriedly at Dee.

Harris looked thoughtful before he shook his head. "There's plenty of other evidence that places our guy in the frame, including being arrested at the scene."

"But it's all circumstantial, right?" Dee asked, looking dubious.

King nodded before he reached down and paused the dictaphone momentarily. "Yes, but things have shifted slightly since we started the investigation. I don't think it's going to be a problem."

Both Dee and Ryo frowned at this cryptic response, forcing Harris to explain. "I don't know whether you're aware or not but the young man suspected of your kidnapping has made allegations against Henry Goldsmith in relation to the original crime his brother was arrested for. I think he knows they're both going down for their part in it whether they deny it or not and so, if Goldsmith's responsible like they claim, they're determined to take him down too. In order to do that though, the older boy has to admit that you and he were together at some point, Dee, although he's probably got some bullshit reason since he's still pleading not guilty to kidnapping you."

"Why's that?" Ryo asked, despite already having a good idea.

"Because apparently Dee was privy to a telephone conversation between Goldsmith and the kidnapper." Harris looked up suddenly. "Is this ringing any bells, Dee? I know we've jumped ahead, but d'you want to tell us anything relating to these allegations now?"

"Okay," Dee replied, as the recording device was started up again. He took several deep breaths before he started to speak, reminding himself that it was okay to tell the truth.

"The guy that kidnapped me explained how he and his brother knew Henry Goldsmith. He was bitter anyway because of the way his brother had been treated but since Goldsmith had double-crossed them over the plot to kidnap his family and make it look like the work of the De Lucas, he was hell bent on revenge. Although his argument was convincing anyway, I told him there was no way Goldsmith was responsible and that really made him mad. He told me he would prove it and so he called up Goldsmith and allowed me to listen in."

"And what exactly did Henry Goldsmith say that would corroborate the suspect's story?"

"Goldsmith called him a stupid bastard; told him he was going to go down for kidnapping a police officer and that none of this would have ever happened if he and his brother had just done what he'd paid them to do. When it was put to him that he'd set them up by calling in the police, Goldsmith just laughed and said they should have been more careful."

"I see," Harris said, looking across at King who nodded thoughtfully.

The rest of the interview proved to be relatively straightforward as Dee told how he'd spent increasing amounts of time unconscious due to the fever he had contracted. At one point he'd been on the verge of a panic attack as he was asked to recount how his leg had gotten broken, but with a combination of the breathing techniques Polly had taught him and Ryo sitting next to him, his hand supportively rubbing his back, he managed to tell them what had happened.

Ryo felt physically sick as he listened to Dee talk about his ordeal, horrified by the physical and mental pain his lover had been forced to endure. He was glad then, when the investigators announced that they had all they needed and prepared to leave.

"What will happen now?" Ryo asked, glancing at Dee who looked exhausted.

"Well," Harris said, slipping the dictaphone back into his briefcase. "I think it's about time we brought Henry Goldsmith in for questioning. See what he has to say about these allegations."

Ryo nodded, wondering how to broach the issue of them being in danger when Harris paused and looked up at them both. "I know this probably isn't want you want to hear right now, but I'd really careful if I were you." He stopped and offered them a humourless smile. "As you've probably gathered, Henry Goldsmith isn't all he appears to be."

Ryo looked across at Dee before he responded. "Yeah, we'd kind of been warned. In fact, we were advised to agree to being moved to a safe house until the trial is over."

Harris seemed to mull this over. "That's probably a sensible idea. Strictly off the record, but Goldsmith's name has come up time and time again in connection with a range of crimes from fraud and money laundering to murder. We're hoping that this case might open up a few more avenues in those inquiries so that bastard will finally get what he deserves."

"D'you think he'll try to get to Dee before the trial?" Ryo asked, truly worried now.

Harris and King looked at each other before the older man furnished the blond and his partner with an answer. "I think it's better to be safe than sorry," he replied somewhat vaguely. "Will you be able to arrange it?"

Ryo nodded, unconsciously giving Dee's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'll get onto the precinct now. How long before you pull Goldsmith in for questioning?"

Harris shrugged. "Ideally we'd like to pick him up some time tomorrow."

Ryo looked at Dee, knowing that didn't give them much time. "Okay. I need to arrange it with my son's school but other than that we can be gone by the time he gets wind of what's happened."

"Fine," Harris said, nodding as he and King stood and picked up their briefcases. "If you've any problems and can't go straight away then call us and we'll hold off bringing Goldsmith in but we really do want to do it as soon as possible before he finds a way to cover his ass." Harris paused before he made to move away from the chair and looked straight at Dee. "I know that wasn't easy for you, but you did really well. We'll do our best to make sure everyone involved in this sorry mess pays for what they've done."

Dee nodded, grateful for the man's sincere desire to see justice done.

"Well thank you," Ryo said as he showed them to the door. After they'd left he turned to look at Dee who was staring outwards at the city skyline. "What are you thinking, love?" he asked gently.

Serious green eyes turned to meet him; his expression conveying both weariness and trepidation at what lay ahead. "I dunno," Dee said eventually after a long pause, "It kinda feels like I'm on one of those rollercoasters that go round in the dark." He offered Ryo a humourless smile. "I'm just trying to work out whether we're nearing the end or whether there's a few more loop the loops to go."

TBC…


	22. Deliver Us from Evil

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 22 – Deliver Us from Evil

Bicky frowned as he neared the main school gates and recognised the tall blond outside, leaning against a dark green Buick. "Ryo?" he said, the frown seeping into his voice, "What are you doing here and whose is that car?"

Ryo held his hands up to halt Bicky's questioning. "I haven't got time to explain. I have to go and see Principal Riley…."

Bicky cut him off before he could finish. "Look, if this is to do with that fight this morning then he's got it all wrong! I didn't start it, I was just defending myself!"

"No, it wasn't about that but thanks for telling me," Ryo replied, glaring at the boy he was constantly trying to keep on the straight and narrow. "Just get in the car and I'll be back in a minute."

Bicky looked past Ryo and into the car, seeing Dee in the passenger seat and a large holdall in the back. "Are we going somewhere, Ryo?" he asked, a look of uncertainty replacing his usual expression of teenage defiance.

"Bicky. _The car_." Ryo said, gesturing to the vehicle impatiently before he softened slightly. "You're not in trouble, honestly."

Seemingly satisfied with this reassurance, Bicky did as he was told before Ryo headed off towards the school for his meeting with the principal.

Having phoned earlier, the man in question was waiting for him as Ryo was shown into his office. Principal Riley was a short moustached man, with steely eyes hidden behind small metal-framed spectacles. His hair, long turned grey, was cut into a sharp style reminiscent of a military buzz-cut and Ryo suspected from his firm handshake and no nonsense attitude that he was indeed ex-army. Certainly, what the man lacked in height, he made up for in physical presence.

"Please, have a seat," the older man said, gesturing to the free chair across the desk from his own. Once he was seated, he tented his fingers and looked over at Ryo. "Now Mr McLain, what can I do for you?"

"I appreciate you seeing me at such short notice," Ryo said, placing his hands in his lap, "but I'm afraid it's a matter of extreme urgency. Unfortunately I'm going to have to take Bicky out of school for the next two weeks at least."

Principal Riley arched one bushy eyebrow, completing his frown. "May I ask why?" he said indicating that he would not agree to such a request without a damn good reason.

Ryo nodded, knowing the other man's interest was not unreasonable. He'd enrolled Bicky in the school because of Principal Riley's reputation as being a firm but fair educator who insisted on the highest standards from his staff, students and their parents, and taking Bicky out of school for two weeks mid-term would certainly be frowned upon.

"My partner is involved in a court case where there is a serious threat of witness intimidation. We've been told to accept police protection until the trial is over and that will involve being moved to a secret location. I know it's highly disruptive to Bicky's schooling and I'm prepared to take any work he has and ensure he does it, but this is an issue of serious personal safety and I'm not prepared to put my family at risk."

Ryo watched as Principal Riley weighed this up for a moment before he sighed wearily. "I don't think I have any choice but to agree to your request, but I must say Mr McLain, that your lifestyle in general concerns me. Bicky is a… well, a difficult young man who needs a stable home life if he is to overcome the adverse lessons of his early years."

He didn't say any more; he didn't need to. The message was there, loud and clear. Once Ryo would have blushed profusely at anyone alluding to his sexual orientation but now he just felt incensed.

"With all due respect Principal, Bicky _is_ part of a loving, stable home life, irrespective of the fact that my partner is male. Bicky was consulted before Dee moved in with us; in fact it was he that suggested that I ask him in the first place. Dee also understands Bicky much better than I do; he was also an orphan who lived a similar life to Bicky and I think that kind of empathy is invaluable." He paused and fixed the older man with a hard stare. "I'm well aware of the concerns surrounding same sex parenting but I can assure you, I would have never embarked on any relationship, be it hetero or homosexual that would have been detrimental to my son. If it makes you uncomfortable, I can find a different school…"

"Now that's not necessary," Principal Riley replied, holding up his hands in a gesture of placation. "And I apologise if I offended you, but Bicky does continue to be a source of disruption in class. I'm led to believe he was involved in a fight just this morning, which he started because he thought the other boy had 'looked at him wrong'."

"I'm aware of that," Ryo said, "And I can assure you Bicky will be punished accordingly for his part in it."

Principal Riley nodded, sensing Ryo's similar sense of discipline. "Good, now if you'll excuse me, I'll just contact the faculty lounge to see if any of Bicky's teachers can provide him with some work."

"Thank you," Ryo said, relieved that the older man had not agreed that he should find another school. "I'd appreciate that."

A mere five minutes after Principal Riley had made the call there was a knock at the door. "Come in," he instructed to the teacher he could see through the pane of frosted glass. The female educator smiled at Ryo as she entered the room with an armful of books and papers.

"Here's some work from the teachers that hadn't left already," she said to the principal. "There are written instructions for each of the assignments."

"Thank you Miss Collins; that will be all."

Once the teacher had gone, Principal Riley informed Ryo that he would explain Bicky's prolonged absence by sickness. Grateful for the grudging support, Ryo thanked the older man and left, collecting up Bicky's books before heading out to the car.

As he reached their rental car, Ryo could see Bicky hanging out of the window, his eyes bulging. "Ryooooooo!" he hollered, as Dee sat in the front, smoking a cigarette and pointedly ignoring the boy in the back. "Is lunkhead telling the truth? Are we really going away for two weeks?"

Ryo glared at him as he opened the trunk and dropped the books in amongst the possessions he and Dee had hurriedly packed after the investigators had left. Climbing into the driver's seat, he offered Dee a quick smile before he turned his attention to his adopted son in the back. "You're grounded, Bicky. How many times have I told you about fighting?"

"Whaaaa?" the boy protested. "You said I wasn't in trouble!"

"I know, you weren't but you are now."

As Ryo turned to put his seatbelt on, Bicky thrust his head between the seats. "Dee! Come on, reason with him! You said you'd have hit the guy too!"

Ryo looked at Dee who feigned a look of innocence as he flicked his cigarette butt out the window. "I think you must have misheard me, _lunkhead_," he said to the boy who growled in frustration before flopping back into his seat in a huge show of petulance.

"Okay," Ryo said, putting the key in the ignition and glancing across at Dee. "You've got the directions?"

"Uh huh," the other man replied, duly waving a piece of paper, hastily collected from the precinct before they'd come to collect Bicky. Drake had agreed to act as their conduit; being the only person who knew their location, both inside work and out. Ryo had rung his aunt and Dee had rung Penguin to let them know they would be away but neither man disclosed their destination, as per the rules of the witness protection programme. Dee had also contacted Polly, to inform her that their therapy sessions would have to cease temporarily. The psychiatrist had been concerned, but had understood that they were acting for reasons of personal safety. She'd implored Dee to contact her any time, day or night, if he needed to talk and he'd thanked her before promising that he would do just that if he felt he wasn't coping.

After the necessary phone calls had been made, Ryo had gone and hired a car before returning for Dee and loading their belongings into the vehicle, registered of course in a false name. With Bicky's schooling sorted out, they were ready to leave; to journey to the safe house located at least four hour's drive from New York City. Drake had deliberately chosen a rural location, knowing the two men would probably value the peace away from the madness of the city. He also figured there'd be less chance of them being recognised, and compromising their safety as a result.

They drove non-stop until they reached their destination; a small sparsely populated town called Clearwater. They had felt it best to do the journey in one go, to minimise the risk of being seen and so when they finally reached the police-owned mountain lodge, Ryo was desperately in need of sleep and Bicky was complaining loudly about needing the bathroom.

The secluded dwelling was set half way up a mountain trail, with the nearest neighbours being almost half a mile away. Tall evergreen trees surrounded the timber building and sheer serenity of the area was the stuff of picture postcards. Eager to cease the boy's grumbling, Ryo let him into the house, turning off the intruder alarm before Bicky raced past him to find the toilet. As Ryo went back outside, Dee was climbing from the car, leaning on his crutches as he studied his home for the next couple of weeks.

"What d'you think?" Ryo asked, coming up behind his lover and encircling his slim waist.

"It's nice," Dee replied, although Ryo couldn't help but notice that he sounded slightly dubious. "Very… rustic."

Ryo had to laugh, knowing that Dee's response came from him being a city boy at heart. He leaned his chin on Dee's shoulder as they studied the view from their magnificent hillside position, watching as birds darted in and out of the trees, calling to each other as if engaged in an airborne game of chase. There were other animals sounds too, not readily identified by the two city dwellers, and whilst Dee looked edgy at living so close to nature, Ryo was determined to embrace the peace and solitude for all it was worth.

"So beautiful," the blond murmured, transfixed by how fiery the sun looked as it descended to the west.

"Why thank you," Dee replied, grinning as he turned his head so that he could see his lover out of the corner of his eye. "I guess moisturising every day pays off."

Ryo chuckled as he reached down and gave Dee's ass a playful squeeze. The dark haired man squirmed but couldn't escape with Ryo's other arm still wrapped around his waist and he only succeeded in twisting around so that he was facing his smiling lover. The natural conclusion to them standing nose to nose was to kiss, and they did just that; lips meeting gently at first before passion and desire egged them on.

"Mmmmmm," Dee murmured as Ryo went to work on the sensitive flesh of his neck as he leaned against the side of the car. "I reckon we could have the bonnet of this Buick polished in no time."

Ryo stopped nibbling and looked up at him, his dark eyes wide. "_Out here_?" he said in disbelief, despite the rather attractive image it created in his mind.

Dee offered him a deeply sexy smile as his hand ghosted across the growing bulge in Ryo's trousers. "I'm sure all the critters wouldn't mind," he said, adopting the husky tones that Ryo found irresistible.

Still pressed up against Dee's body, Ryo opened his mouth to respond before the door creaked open behind him.

"Knock it off you two!" Bicky complained, stepping out onto the porch and eyeing the two men before he rolled his eyes in disgust. "You're scaring the wildlife."

Ryo blushed as Dee scowled; each reacting to the unwelcome reminder that they were not alone. "Oh God, Bicky," Ryo muttered; crimson-cheeked as the boy disappeared back inside the house. When he heard Dee chuckle he turned back round to face the other man. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"You," Dee replied, "You were really gonna have sex with me then, weren't you? You'd forgotten your own son was here too!"

Ryo blushed even harder at Dee's perceptiveness. "Don't be so ridiculous," he huffed as he pulled away from Dee and went to open the trunk to remove their belongings. He grabbed the two largest bags and set off towards the house with Dee's laughter still ringing in his ears.

The cabin-style house was built on one storey with large open plan rooms and two double bedrooms. The centrepiece of the main living area was a huge stone fireplace, which rose imposingly into the beamed ceiling in the corner of the room. Set off by a sumptuous fur rug, it was the perfect setting for a fortnight's worth of cosy nights in had Bicky not been present, Dee thought darkly as he followed his lover inside the well-maintained property.

As Ryo set the bags down, Dee limped past him to check out the bedrooms. In one, Bicky was already sprawled on the double bed, his eyes closed as he listened to the music piped directly into his ears via his headphones. Dee shook his head at the din emanating from the earpieces before he turned and moved across the hallway into the other room. The second bedroom was slightly larger than the first with a king size bed that faced out onto an awe-inspiring view of their mountainside location. Drake had deliberately picked this safe house in the hope that the tranquillity of the place would aid his colleague's recovery, and Dee was reminded again how lucky he and Ryo were to have friends like Drake and Ted, that were so concerned for his welfare.

He drew himself from his reverie as he heard someone approaching and turned to see Ryo entering the room with their bags. The blond detective smiled at Dee, then studied the room appreciatively before he unzipped the first holdall and started to pull out the clothes and take them over to the dresser.

"Leave it," Dee said seeing Ryo's tired face, having just driven for four hours solid. "What's a few creased clothes? Let's get something to eat and get to bed. We can do all that tomorrow."

Ryo lowered the sweatshirt he was about to fold and nodded. "Sure," he replied, "I guess it can wait." He suddenly looked at his watch and frowned. "You should have eaten about an hour ago," he said, looking at Dee.

He expected his lover to protest but Dee nodded silently, also anxious not to get out of his new routine. Although he hadn't said anything to Ryo, he'd been a little worried about being so far away from the hospital and Dr Stephens, his specialist. His condition was still pretty new to him and he'd yet to experience an attack of either hyper or hypo glycaemia when his blood sugar level was either too high or too low. Both he and Ryo knew the symptoms but the thought of having to deal with such a situation with no professionals on hand was quite a daunting prospect.

"Fine," Dee said, heading back towards the door. "Food, then bed it is."

They ate a light meal with the supplies Ryo had packed from home. In the morning, Ryo announced that he would go shopping, to pick up provisions to last them as long as possible to reduce the number of trips he had to make away from the house. Drake had provided them with details of shopping facilities when he had given Ryo the map to the safe house. There was a small store in the town of Clearwater itself but Ryo intended to make the slightly longer journey to the out of town, big name food store to avoid having to answer any inquisitive store clerk's questions about what had brought them to the isolated town. Once Ryo had recorded Dee and Bicky's requests on his groceries list and they had debated how they would spend the following day, they retired to bed to recharge their batteries.

Despite the slow pace of life at the house in Clearwater, the days elapsed with surprising speed, until an entire week had passed. With very little to do in the isolated cabin, the two men and the teenager spent their days watching television and reading. There had been an item on the news not long after they'd first arrived, stating that Henry Goldsmith had been taken in for questioning, relating to the allegations made against him by the two suspects.

Several days after that, Drake contacted them with the chilling news that their apartment had been broken into and ransacked. The information came as a huge blow to the recovering detective, especially when Ryo had felt Dee seemed to be coping well with the sudden upheaval of being moved to a safe house. For the first time since they had arrived, Dee had called Polly, spending almost an hour talking to her whilst shut away in their bedroom. He had emerged, still very subdued and his enduring low mood had worried Ryo for a good twenty four hours until they received word that some of the guys from the precinct had pulled together on their day off to put the apartment back in order for when they returned. This touching show of goodwill seemed to reaffirm Dee's faith in humanity and he slowly returned to a better frame of mind as the days passed.

With so much time for reflection, Ryo had started to keep a diary, having seen the small spiral bound notebook when he had gone to buy provisions. He'd kept a diary for many years as a teenager; this habit ceasing very abruptly when his parents had been murdered and he'd no longer felt able to put words to his shattered feelings. Somehow, it felt right to start one again and he wrote in it daily, finding the experience deeply cathartic.

Bicky had also proved to be surprisingly good for Dee. The boy seemed uncannily responsive to the dark haired man's feelings; knowing when Dee could be pulled from his brooding and when it was best to leave him alone. Sometimes Ryo mused, as he watched his lover and his son playing basketball in the secure back yard, Bicky seemed better at dealing with Dee in his unsettled state than he was.

Almost the full fortnight had passed when Drake called to say that the trial would officially be starting the day after next. Ryo had immediately been prepared to pack up and come back but the other detective persuaded him to stay away for a couple of days longer, until Dee was actually needed in court. The media frenzy had started up afresh and the remaining days before Dee had to testify were likely to be the most dangerous if Goldsmith was to try anything. Seeing the logic in Drake's words, Ryo agreed to stay put for the time being.

The day before they were due to leave, the better weather they'd been having suddenly changed, with the rain lashing down from the moment they awoke. Their supplies were virtually non-existent since they'd been expecting to leave two days earlier and Ryo was forced to brave the downpour to provide Dee with the well balanced meals he needed to maintain his blood sugar levels. Dee had grumbled about him going in such atrocious weather but Ryo had firmly reminded him it was a necessity, leaving Bicky to distract the other man with endless videogames until he returned.

When there was a slight break in the deluge, Ryo took his chance and set off in the hired Buick, promising the two at the house that he wouldn't be long. The sodden mountain trail was lethal as he navigated some of the sharper bends and the grim faced detective hoped that the rain would cease before they had to leave the day after. Deciding that he didn't want to drive too far with such poor visibility, Ryo opted for the small store in Clearwater to pick up their last lot of provisions. He figured as they were leaving tomorrow, it wouldn't matter if the clerk asked too many questions.

As he rounded a particularly tight corner not far from their cabin, he had to swerve sharply as a large four wheel drive vehicle came around the bend on his side of the road. It was travelling far too fast for the current weather conditions and Ryo swore as he fought to regain control of his own vehicle as the black jeep sped off around the next bend.

 "Damn locals," he growled, attributing the other driver's stupid speed to someone who thought they knew the roads well enough. He was glad therefore when twenty minutes later, he finally reached the store, shutting off the engine and saying a mental thank you to whatever higher being had allowed him to reach the town in one piece. He ran the short distance from the car, still managing to get extremely wet before he entered the store; his arrival heralded by the tinkling of a bell positioned above the door. Like one of Pavlov's dogs, the store clerk appeared at once, his expression immediately brightening on seeing that his customer was a new face.

"Well hi there, young fella," he said, scratching his beard thoughtfully. "You picked a helluva day to do a bit of shoppin'!"

Ryo smiled at the genial old man, inwardly chuckling at this stereotypical image of small town life as he glanced around, trying to decide what to buy. "Yeah, it really is coming down," he agreed, frowning at the sight of the rain bouncing high off the dirt track road.

"You stayin' up in the hills?" the old guy asked, lowering himself into his chair behind the cash register as he continued to watch Ryo intently.

"Yeah," Ryo replied as he grabbed some tins and a carton of milk and brought them over to the counter. He set off back for more provisions as the store clerk lit up a hand rolled cigarette.

"You here for a holiday?" he asked, his tone still light and conversational.

Ryo returned to the counter with the last of his goods. "Something like that," he replied vaguely. He looked up to see the clerk's bushy eyebrows knit together into a frown.

"Say, you're not staying with another guy and a young boy are ya?" the man said, as he started to key the prices into the battered looking cash register.

He caught the look on Ryo's face as the other man froze. "It's just some guy was in a little earlier. Said he was a friend of yours and he wasn't sure whereabouts you were staying and he needed to get an urgent message to you. Since most of those cabins belong to regular townsfolk, I think I probably sent him to the right place."

"What did he look like?" Ryo asked numbly, hoping beyond hope that the old man would provide a perfect description of Drake, since he was the only one who knew their location.

The clerk scratched his ragged beard again. "Tall, black hair, kind of a crooked nose. Looked like he could have been a boxer if you know what I mean."

Ryo nodded, frantically scanning his brain for someone, friend of course, who looked like that but coming up blank. "Sir?" he asked, trying to remain calm "Where is the nearest police department?"

The man thumbed further down the mountain. "'Bout another twenty minutes drive away but the Sheriff lives over on the next street. I can give you his address."

"Thank you," Ryo said gratefully as he paid for the items he'd bought and started to shove them in whatever pockets he could find free, his heart pounding as his instincts told him something was very, very wrong.

TBC…


	23. End of the Road

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 23 – End of the Road

Dee and Bicky were engrossed in a videogame when there was a knock at the door. The blond teen hit the pause button as he turned to Dee with a frown etched into his features.

"That was quick," he said, guessing it was Ryo returning.

"He must have forgotten something," Dee commented as he took the opportunity to reach for a cigarette with the game paused. "Go let him in."

Bicky jumped up, grumbling almost inaudibly although Dee caught the work 'slave driver' somewhere in the whispered tirade as he crossed the room. He undid the bolt and was in the process of easing the door ajar when it flew open, smashing into him and knocking him to the floor. Winded from the fall, Bicky didn't have time to move before an arm snaked around his neck and hauled him roughly to his feet. Despite his shock, he registered the feel of cold metal pressed against the side of his head and sensibly made the decision not to struggle.

"Detective Latener I presume?" he heard the person holding him say, his gaze evidently fixed on the man in the armchair, his casted leg resting on the low coffee table.

Dee didn't respond; his reactions numbed by the realisation that they were in very real danger.

"Get your hands over your head, cop," the man growled, jerking Bicky roughly to emphasise his seriousness.

Letting the unlit cigarette fall from his lips, Dee did as he was told, his green eyes watching the unknown assailant's movements carefully. While the other man held Bicky, Dee knew it was too dangerous to try anything and instead, he silently prayed that Ryo _had_ forgotten something and would come back soon to hopefully distract the armed man so he could do something that might get them out of this mess.

Dragging Bicky with him, still too shocked to protest against his treatment, the attacker made his way over to where Dee was sitting.

"Get on the floor and move over to the fireplace," the man snapped, jerking his head to where he wanted Dee to go. "Forget them," he said seeing the direction of the man's gaze towards his crutches and suspecting that the other was seeing them as potential weapons. "Get on your ass and drag yourself across."

Again, Dee did as he was instructed, hoping that the other man might cut them some slack and at least allow Bicky to go free. Once he was over to the fireplace, the man used his gun to hook a set of handcuffs dangling out of his pocket.

"Put these on," he said, tossing them to Dee before the gun travelled back to rest against Bicky's temple. "And cuff yourself to the grating. Do it _now_ or I'll blow the brat's brains out!" he yelled, seeing Dee's hesitation to make himself even more vulnerable.

The fear in Bicky's eyes was enough to make Dee respond as he clicked the restraint around his left wrist and used the other half of the cuff to fasten himself to the iron fittings on the fireplace.

"Good, obedient cop," the man drawled condescendingly as he shoved Bicky hard, causing the boy to sprawl at Dee's feet. The dark haired detective immediately scooped the teen into a protective embrace using his one free arm, which Bicky readily accepted, his face buried in Dee's shoulder.

"What the hell d'you want?" Dee said angrily, feeling the boy's body trembling against his.

The man cocked his head to one side as he offered the shackled man a wry smile. "I think you know what I want," he replied, before his smile spread into a wide, shark-like grin. "Now tell me; where's that fag partner of yours?"

"He's not here," Dee said quickly, giving Bicky a reassuring squeeze. "So what are you going to do?"

The man grabbed a chair he'd seen in his peripheral vision and sat down on it, his unwavering gaze never leaving his prisoners. "Then we wait," he said flatly as he pointed his gun directly at Dee's head and smiled crookedly. "I'm in no rush and I don't think you're planning on going anywhere."

At the store in Clearwater, the old man proceeded to describe to the anxious blond where the sheriff lived, which to Ryo's relief, was only a couple of minutes from the store. When he found the appropriate address, Ryo was also relieved to find that the man in question was home. He explained briefly who he was, glad that he had his police ID badge in his coat pocket before he related the situation to the other man, finishing with the store clerk's story. Fortunately with the Goldsmith saga having been big news, the sheriff knew something of what was going on, and he took Ryo's fears seriously. Straight away, he radioed for backup, reassuring the anxious man that despite the weather, they would be here within minutes.

"Right…" the lean middle aged sheriff said; his sharp features and youthful looks somewhat out of place in the small, insular community. "While we wait for backup, give me a full physical description of everyone who _should_ be in the house."

"Okay," Ryo replied, trying to keep himself composed, despite the many things inside him screaming at him to panic like crazy. "One adult male, Caucasian. Six foot four, slim build, black hair, olive skin. Has a plaster cast on his right leg. The other is a teenage boy of African descent; five foot two inches with shoulder length blond hair, blue eyes and dark skin."

"Family or friends?" the sheriff asked, trying to keep Ryo talking as they waited for help to arrive.

"Family," Ryo said, with a proud but worried smile.

"And you say you think there was only one person in the vehicle that passed you on the trail?"

"Yes."

 The sound of approaching vehicles drew their attention and both men jumped up to see three police cars pulling up at the front of the house. The sheriff threw open the front door as the six policemen dashed in out of the rain.

Once they were in, Sheriff Johnson and Ryo explained the situation between them, emphasising just how dangerous it was likely to be once they got up to the cabin, if of course, the unknown man hadn't acted already. Ryo felt physically sick at what may have happened to his lover and his son but he had to push the feeling aside just in case it wasn't too late to save them. When they'd finished outlining the state of play, Sheriff Johnson frowned as he surveyed the group of officers.

"Where's Corey?" he asked suddenly.

"He's sick," one of the other men replied. "He was feeling pretty shitty so we sent him home early."

"Damn," the sheriff said. "Okay Shane, you'll have to take Corey's position. His rifle's in the car, right?"

"What's the problem?" Ryo asked, as the officer called Shane nodded in response to the sheriff's question.

"Corey's our sniper," the sheriff explained. "If there's a siege situation then we could try and pick off the intruder without us having to storm in and put your family at risk. Because of the nice views, those cabins have got plenty of windows which would have made Corey's job a little easier."

"I'll do it," Ryo said firmly. "I'm one of the snipers on our armed response unit. If you give me the weapon, I'll do it."

The sheriff seemed to ponder this for a moment. "Are you sure?" he said. "It's difficult to focus when you're personally involved."

With his face a grim mask of determination, Ryo nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. I appreciate what you're saying Sheriff but conversely, I have all the more incentive to do a good job _because_ I'm personally involved."

With the plan agreed, the convoy of police cars set off up the mountain. As Sheriff Johnson drove, Ryo sat in the passenger seat assembling the sniper rifle he'd been loaned. Fortunately it was the same model as his own but he knew each gun was unique and he could only pray that there weren't any quirks about that particular weapon that would render his aim inaccurate.

The convoy came to a halt at the last bend before the driveway that led up to the cabin. The men reassembled to finalise their plans, glad that the rain had eased slightly. The other officers were to surround the house, remaining hidden in the dense undergrowth until they received a signal to move forward. Once they had sight of the suspect, they were to contact the sheriff, who would then help Ryo find a vantage point, where he could hopefully get a clear shot of the suspect should the need and the opportunity arise.

When the officers had gone, the minutes ticked by in silence as Ryo sat with the rifle resting across his lap. There was a brief radio message confirming that the black jeep was on the driveway before the communication lapsed back into silence. The wait was nothing short of agonising, and all the while Ryo was saying silent prayers that Dee and Bicky were still alive; his mind unable to contemplate any alternative scenario. He jumped as the sheriff's radio flared into life again; the other man snatching up the device and activating their link.

"We copy, what's your location Richard?"

After a crackle, the voice came back over the airwaves. "We're to the right of the property, looking in onto the main living area. We can see the suspect moving around in there. Suspect is armed. Repeat, suspect is armed."

"Copy," the sheriff replied, not looking at Ryo as he asked his next question. "What about the man and the boy?"

The seconds seemed to pass slowly before they received a reply. "Both hostages are alive. They're sat together on the floor in front of the fireplace. The man appears to be handcuffed to the grating."

Ryo's heart did a huge lurch on hearing the news that Dee and Bicky were still alive. He looked across at Sheriff Johnson, indicating that he was ready to go.

"Okay, we're moving into position," the older man said into the radio. "Stay where you are until I give the signal."

Ending the communication, Sheriff Johnson checked his own weapon as they climbed from the car. "You're certain you want to do this?" he asked, glancing across at Ryo who was checking the rifle one last time.

"Yes."

The two men set off together, sticking to the undergrowth as best they could. Before long, their clothes were saturated, making movement difficult as they kept away from the driveway until they were around the side of the house. On the right hand side, the ground sloped upwards away from the house, giving Ryo the elevated position he needed to train his rifle on the side windows. Sheriff Johnson indicated a good spot, slightly sheltered by a large bush from anyone inside the house that happened to look out of the window. The vantage point was also fairly close to the cabin and Ryo found that he could hear what the people inside were saying, owing to one of the windows being slightly open.

"What time are you expecting him back?" he heard an unknown voice say, its hostile tones indicating that the speaker was agitated.

"For the last time, _I don't know_."

That was Dee; also sounding tense. Ryo shifted slightly, so that his lover came into view; Bicky still by his side. Dee had one arm raised as his wrist dangled from the handcuff attached to fireplace's grating as his other arm rested protectively on Bicky's shoulder. In front of them, the stranger with the gun continued to pace angrily.

"Look," Dee said calmly, "Just let the kid go. He's nothing to do with this."

"Shut up!" the other man yelled, spinning around and pointing the gun at Dee's head. "I've been hired to kill all three of you and I ain't leaving until you've each got a bullet in your head so shut the fuck up and let's wait for your fag boyfriend to get back."

Ryo glanced across at Sheriff Johnson who had obviously heard every word. The other man turned from the scene inside the house, his expression solemn. "If you can get a clear shot, then take him down."

Ryo nodded as he prepared to raise the rifle. He had the target in his sights and was just about to squeeze the trigger when a cell phone started to ring and the suspect suddenly moved out of range to answer it. Heart pounding in the midst of an adrenaline rush, Ryo could only listen and wait for his chance to come around again.

"The other one's not here," he heard the suspect say, speaking abruptly to the caller. "I was waiting until he got back so I could do all three at once." pause "I'll still get paid the same amount for just Latener and the boy?" pause "Fine, I'll do it now then."

A further surge of adrenaline coursed through Ryo's body as he watched the man end the call and walk over to Dee and Bicky with his gun pointed at them. Quickly raising his own weapon, he sighted the suspect and began to squeeze the trigger…

Inside the house, Dee listened to the assassin's side of the phone conversation with growing alarm. From what the man was saying, there would be no more playing for time.

"Bicky, run," he growled at the boy as the man was still talking on the phone, not sure what good it would do but wanting his lover's son to at least attempt to save himself.

"No," Bicky replied, his large blue eyes fixing Dee with a scared yet defiant stare. "I'm staying with you."

Dee shook his head in frustration as the man ended the call and walked back over to them, his lips twitching into a sickening smirk. "Well I guess it doesn't matter that lover-boy isn't here. You two are enough to get me my paycheque. Question is; who wants to go first?"

To prolong the torture, he pointed his gun first at Dee, before moving across to Bicky and then back to Dee. "Choices, choices," he sing-songed as if it was a game.

Fearing the end, Dee hugged the boy tighter with his one free arm. "I'm sorry, Bicky," he whispered before he closed his eyes and tilted his head upwards, as if he was looking to the heavens for something. "I'm sorry, Ryo."

"Very touching," the man sneered before his voice turned cold, as hard as granite. "Open your eyes, cop. I want to see your fear." Dee heard a click as the man cocked the trigger. "Open your eyes and I'll make it quick for you both."

Feeling he owed Bicky an instantaneous death at least, Dee opened his eyes to see the gun trained upon him and the smirking face behind the weapon. "Well done," the assailant grinned; revelling in the power he had over the two sat on the floor. Dee took a deep breath, most certainly his last, as he closed his eyes again and waited for the gunshot.

He winced at the deafening report as the gun went off, his eyes automatically flying open in surprise as something warm and wet spattered across his face. Realising he was still alive, his eyes turned to Bicky, truly fearful of what he would see, but he was met by wide blue eyes staring at him blankly.

"Holy shit…" the boy muttered, before his attention turned back to the corpse lying at their feet, blood pooling on the wooden floor from a bullet wound to the side of his head. "Holy, _holy_ shit."

Instinctively, Dee reached up and touched his face with his one free hand, pulling it away and finding his fingers stained red, although fortunately not with his own blood. He barely had time to contemplate what had happened before the front and back doors burst open simultaneously and several uniformed policemen spilled into the room, their weapons drawn.

"He's dead," Dee said flatly, looking up at the officers through long bangs of hair before his eyes fell on the figure that came into view in the doorway. Soaked to the skin and white as a sheet, Ryo was quite simply the best sight Dee had ever seen as the blond detective clutched the doorframe for support, a sniper rifle dangling precariously from one limp hand. Dee desperately wanted to rush over a hold him but the handcuff on his right wrist held him firmly in place and he growled in frustration as he pulled uselessly against the restraint.

Finding his feet, Ryo suddenly hurried forward, discarding the weapon and sinking to the floor in front of the two people he loved more than anything in the world. He threw his arms around man and boy, embracing them tightly as if he could scarcely believe they were real and not some cruel trick of his imagination.

"Thank God," he cried, tears of relief streaming down his face as they held each other for several long moments as the policemen moved around them, beginning the long process of recording the crime scene.

Two hours later, Ryo lifted his head at the sound of a door opening and then closing quietly. From his position on the couch with a mug of tea gripped between his fingers, he looked up to see Clearwater's only doctor walking towards him, a sympathetic smile gracing his weathered features.

"How are they?" Ryo asked anxiously, setting down the tea and hugging his body tightly as even though he was in dry clothes, for some reason he just couldn't get warm.

"They're both sleeping," the doctor said gently. "I gave them both a sedative to ensure that they get adequate rest. Your partner's blood sugar levels are stable. I've given him his insulin injection, taking into account that he'll sleep right through and therefore won't be having an evening meal. He'll just need to check his levels again as soon as he's awake in the morning."

Ryo nodded. "And my son?"

The doctor smiled. "He seems a very resilient boy so I'm sure he'll be just fine. Talk to him about what happened and if you think he needs professional help then arrange it as soon as you can."

"I will," Ryo promised. "Thank you, Doctor."

"You should get some rest too," the older man said gently as he headed to the door. "You've had a very stressful experience yourself. I can give you something to help you sleep before I go."

"No, it'll be okay," Ryo said, snagging the folded up blanket off the floor and covering himself with it. "I'll be able to sleep now I know they're both okay and the police are maintaining a constant presence until we leave tomorrow so that's another load off my mind."

"Okay," the medic said, nodding his head in understanding. "Well good luck with the court case, Detective McLain. I'm sure justice will prevail."

"Thank you, Doctor Nicholls," Ryo replied, praying the other man was right as he lay down on the couch and awaited the onset of sleep.

It felt strange returning to the apartment after being away for just over two weeks. All the evidence of the break-in had gone; other than some of their photos were now in different frames, after the originals had been smashed beyond repair. It was at one of these photos that Ryo was staring as he waited for Dee to finish dressing on the first morning Dee was required to attend court. Bicky had gone to stay with Cal and her aunt, at least for the first few days of the trial, seemingly none the worse for his experience at the cabin in Clearwater.

Ryo had found it difficult to determine how much the events had affected Dee, since his moods continued to be variable, just like before. He'd had a long session with Polly on their return and had arranged daily appointments with her for the duration of the trial, which indicated to Ryo that he wasn't coping as well as they'd both hoped.

The mystery of how their location had been discovered had also been unearthed as Ryo checked in with Drake on their return. At the same time as Dee and Bicky were being held prisoner by the unknown assailant, the body of John Barker, a uniformed officer at the twenty seventh precinct, was found hanging from a rafter in his attic after he had failed to turn in for his shift. Beside his body lay a note, stating that he too was being blackmailed by Henry Goldsmith for 'past indiscretions'. He admitted going through Drake's files and passing on the address of the safe house to an associate of Goldsmith's. Knowing the man's intentions, the officer had instantly regretted what he had done and, feeling he would be unable to live with the consequences of his actions, had taken his own life.

The note also indicated that it had been he that had leaked the details of the suspect's accusations against Goldsmith to the press in a vain attempt to stop the other man's blackmailing; figuring that he wouldn't dare try anything if the spotlight was on him in such a negative way. At first Ryo and Dee had been angry that a fellow officer had betrayed them with potentially fatal consequences but then a deep sense of sadness had set in, knowing that a life had been wasted all because of one man's greed and corruption.

Ryo looked up as the bedroom door opened and Dee limped out, dressed in a dark grey suit and tie. He looked tense, but still managed to offer Ryo a quick smile as the blond stood and pushed his chair back under the dining table.

"Are you ready to go?" Ryo asked, picking his briefcase up off the floor. "I've got your diabetes kit ready."

Dee nodded, his mouth drawn into a thin smile. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Sensing his lover's hesitation, Ryo walked over to him and embraced him tightly. "I'll be with you every step of the way Dee and when this is all over, why don't we get away for a bit, go on vacation?"

He watched as Dee's mouth curled into a wry smile. "Like the last vacation we took when that hotel owner tried to kill you?"

Ryo recalled the incident in question and frowned. "Good point. Well, the next one won't be anything like that, I'm sure." He leaned in for a quick kiss as the doorbell rang. "That's should be our ride," Ryo said, glancing at his watch as he moved to answer the door.

He let Drake in, greeting him quickly before going to pick up his jacket that he'd draped over the back of one of the chairs.

"Hey, buddy," Drake said to Dee with a grin. "Ready to go put away the bad guys?"

Dee smiled; appreciating that Drake didn't try to pussy-foot around him. "Nice to see you made the effort, Detective Parker," he said, looking Drake's suit up and down and grinning. The other man hated wearing a full suit even more than he did so it was strange to see him dressed so formally.

"Well, I've gotta look my best if I'm gonna be on TV," he replied with a chuckle; smoothing down his hair as the three men left the apartment together.

Since Dee and Ryo had missed the first couple of days of the trial, they were spared the tedium of the swearing in of the jury and the opening legal arguments. Since the cases were so heavily interlinked, the District Attorney had decided to prosecute the people involved jointly. First, Liam Patterson would be tried for the kidnapping, false imprisonment and assault of Detective Dee Latener, then he and his brother Daniel would be tried for the attempted kidnapping of the Goldsmith family and finally Henry Goldsmith himself would be made to answer to the charges that he perpetrated the crime against his own family and had later attempted to pervert the course of justice. Since Dee and Ryo were involved in all three cases, it promised to be a painfully long ordeal for them both.

In the afternoon of the first day, Dee was put on the stand. Ryo watched nervously as he answered question after question, his expression unreadable as he battled to remain in control of his emotions. When the trial adjourned for the day, they went straight home, knowing Dee's counsellor was due to arrive at any time. At first Ryo had been concerned that a day in court followed immediately by a therapy session might have been too much for Dee but after listening to his lover stating that he was categorically not going back to court the next day when they got back to their apartment, Ryo was glad that the unflappable psychiatrist was coming after all.

Ryo stayed in the bedroom as Polly sat with Dee and talked through everything that had happened in court that day, trying desperately to read his book in order to shut out their voices, but failing miserably when he could hear Dee crying in the other room. His heart breaking at the sound, he had to stop himself from going out there, knowing that if his presence was needed, then they would come and get him. They did call for him later on when Polly was about to leave. Dee seemed a little more relaxed by then and the idea of being back in court the following morning seemed a little less daunting and, to Ryo's relief, he was no longer refusing to go.

The next few days followed a similar pattern, with Dee returning from court highly agitated until he had spent an hour or so talking with his psychiatrist. Seven days into the trial, he seemed to turn a corner; being able to cope with the demands of his court appearances without daily therapy sessions and so life was starting to return to normal when the jury retired to consider their verdict. Polly had talked extensively with Dee and prepared him in case things didn't go to plan but she needn't have worried when the jury returned and unanimously convicted the older brother of the kidnap, imprisonment and assault of a police officer. The circumstantial evidence, strongly supported by Dee's compelling testimony left the twelve men and woman in no doubt that the suspect was guilty of all charges and duly convicted him so.

They left court that day with a strong feeling of ambivalence; thrilled that Dee's abductor had been brought to justice but anxious to see that his brother and Henry Goldsmith would receive the same fate. As a victim of crime, Dee's role was almost over, but he was still required in court along with Ryo as the detectives that had investigated the original kidnapping allegations. It felt strange for the two men to be reliving something that felt like it had happened a lifetime ago but their concise recounting of the events secured convictions for both brothers after the jury were asked to consider their guilt relating to the original felony. All that was left was for Henry Goldsmith to be found guilty of instigating the crime.

TBC…


	24. Looking Forward

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 24 – Looking Forward

The charges were read out before the opening arguments at the start of the new trial. As his lawyer read out his statement, Goldsmith himself sat tall; sovereign rings glinting on fingers laced together on his lap as he listened with apparent interest. As his plea of 'not guilty' was entered, he nodded confidently; as if the whole thing was just some silly misunderstanding before he turned and flashed a brilliant smile to his doting family sat behind in the public gallery.

Early on, the Patterson brothers were called to testify; Liam taking the stand first and answering both the prosecution and defence attorneys' questions in the same gruff manner. His younger brother was a less capable witness; allowing Goldsmith's lawyer to intimidate and confuse him, casting doubt on the validity of his testimony.

Ryo glanced nervously at Dee as his partner was called back to the stand. Giving the blond detective an equally nervous smile, he stood and made his way across the court on his crutches, avoiding eye contact with anyone else as he passed. Once seated, he looked directly ahead, never once turning to glance at Henry Goldsmith who was staring at him in a last-ditch attempt at intimidation.

Once under oath, Goldsmith's lawyer took to the floor with Dee in his sights. Prior to the trial, he'd been warned about the defence attorney; a nasty self-important little man called Jack Grundy who was revelling in the opportunity to defend someone as high-profile as the celebrity millionaire. The man had a reputation for his merciless interrogation of witnesses; often reducing to tears even the most confident of deponents. He spoke to Dee with an apparent tone of respect, calling him 'Detective' often and heaping praise on him for the courage with which he had endured his nightmarish kidnapping ordeal. And then he turned.

"_No one_," Grundy said, bellowing the word across the courtroom as he spun to face the sea of assembled faces, "can deny that Detective Latener is a tremendously brave individual." He paused for dramatic effect, his arm outstretched, pointing straight at Dee in case anyone needed reminding who he was referring to. "But what I am here to find out is why such an outstanding citizen as Detective Latener would be convinced that another outstanding citizen, by which I mean my client, Mr Henry Goldsmith, would be responsible for arranging such a _monstrous_ crime against _his own family_."

It was an understatement to say Grundy was a skilled orator. His use of pause and intonation held the courtroom in the palm of his hand as Goldsmith watched him do his work, all the while looking thoroughly pleased with himself at his choice of legal representation.

"Detective Latener," the man said, stressing the 'L' sound at the start of his surname as he came to stand right in front of the witness box. "I don't want to cause you any trauma by going over your horrific experiences at the hands of that… monster," he said, shaking his head in feigned disgust. "When you were chained, tortured, had your leg _shattered_…"

"Objection!" DA Browning called angrily, recognising Grundy's tactic to try and unnerve Dee before he started firing questions at him. "This is irrelevant."

"Sustained," the judge replied, frowning at the defence lawyer, who looked indifferent to the criticism. "Get to the point and ask some relevant questions, Mr Grundy."

Grundy nodded, collecting his thoughts as he furrowed his brow dramatically. "Okay, I'm a little confused here, Detective Latener. You see; I have two trains of thought as to why you might think my client is guilty of plotting to have his family kidnapped so maybe you can help me out here." He paced away from the witness stand, giving Dee time to wonder what the hell he was up to. The detective was already wary; but Grundy was good.

"You told the court when Liam Patterson was tried, that you lapsed in and out of consciousness because of the infected wound on your face, am I right?"

"That's correct," Dee said clearly, his green eyes fixed on the lawyer.

"You had a fever; were you hallucinating too?"

"Yes."

"Can you remember any of the things you were hallucinating about, Detective Latener?"

Dee swallowed hard. "I – I thought things had happened to people I cared about."

"And had they?"

"No."

Grundy nodded, as if this was all very interesting to him. "So you were convinced that things had happened; that in fact hadn't happened at all?"

"Yes," Dee replied, knowing where the other man was going with his questioning but unable to prevent himself being led there.

"So how can you be sure that you didn't hallucinate the telephone call that Liam Patterson is claiming you overheard? I mean, surely that could have been a figment of your fevered imagination too?"

When Dee replied; his voice was calm and controlled. "The phone call you're referring to took place before I became ill. I can clearly recall it and I know I wasn't fevered at that point."

If Grundy was surprised by the confidence of Dee's response then he didn't show it. "Thank you, Detective. That certainly clears things up in my mind, at least relating to one of my theories." He let the comment hang ominously in the air for several seconds before he continued his questioning.

"Detective Latener, you're in a gay relationship are you not?" He'd barely finished the query before Browning was on his feet again.

"Objection, Your Honour! Irrelevant questioning."

"Sustained," the Judge replied, furnishing Grundy with an all out glare. "I fail to see what Detective Latener's sexual orientation has to do with the case, Mr Grundy."

"Apologies, Your Honour," the attorney said quickly, although the smile on his face was far from contrite. "I simply wanted to clarify the Detective's relationship with his partner."

The Judge sighed. "The witness is free to answer the question if he chooses."

Grundy's attention turned to Dee, who looked not the least bit phased. "Yes, I am romantically involved with my partner at work." He glanced at Ryo who offered him a warm smile.

"I see," Grundy said, scratching his chin has if he hadn't already known, despite it being splashed across the papers for the last two months. "And is your commissioner comfortable with your relationship, Detective Latener?"

Dee frowned; his green eyes reflecting his dislike for the man in front of him. "D'you mean because we work together or because it's a homosexual relationship?"

"Both."

"He's fine with it," Dee replied, slightly defensively. "It doesn't affect our work so there isn't a problem."

Grundy nodded. "And how long has your commissioner been at the twenty-seventh precinct?"

"Almost three years," Dee replied after a quick mental calculation.

"And how long have you been there?"

More mathematics. "About eight years. Since I left the academy."

"I see. So you must have been used to the old commissioner. How did you and your colleagues feel when he was replaced by Commissioner Rose? I'm led to believe their management styles were very different."

"I can't speak for other people," Dee said in annoyance.

"Sure, but I bet it was a bit of surprise when he just turned up and announced he was the new commissioner..."

"Objection. Leading the witness."

"Sustained. Please stick to asking questions, Mr Grundy."

Grundy's bright blue eyes never left Dee's face. "How did _you_ feel about Commissioner Rose's appointment? Did you like the man?"

Dee knew Rose was in court but under oath or not, he wasn't about to disguise his feelings. "No. No, I didn't like him."

"Can you say why?"

"I don't know; a personality clash I guess."

"Detective Latener, were you aware that Berkley Rose was bisexual?"

"Yes," Dee replied.

"And were you also aware that he was attracted to your partner; the man you ended up embarking on a relationship with?"

Dee's expression was pinched; his clear hesitation prompting the judge to speak. "Please answer the question, Detective Latener."

"Yes, I was aware of the commissioner's interest in Detective McLain."

"Were you jealous?"

"…"

"Detective?"

"Yes," Dee said abruptly.

"And once you and Detective McLain were an 'item'," Grundy said, making inverted commas with his fingers, "Did the commissioner cease in his advances towards your partner?"

"No."

"And how did that make you feel?" Grundy asked, sounding for all the world like he genuinely cared.

Dee considered the question for a moment before he started his reply. "I was angry at first but when I realised Detective McLain had no interest in the commissioner then I knew I didn't have to be jealous."

"Sure. Sure. But would you say your relationship with the commissioner was still strained?"

"Yes, I guess so."

Grundy nodded and Dee had the terrible feeling that he'd been manoeuvred into position for the attorney's next line of questioning. He took a deep breath, trying to keep focussed as Grundy strutted around in front of him, evidently loving his big day in court.

"Let me take you back to April, Detective Latener. You were working on several cases with your partner when the commissioner requested that you investigate a potential kidnapping threat against my client and his family, I understand as a favour because Commissioner Rose and my clients were good friends. Is that true?"

"Yes, as far as I'm aware, Mr Goldsmith asked the commissioner personally."

"Okay. So how did you feel about that, bearing in mind you were told to drop the other cases you were working on by a man you already had a strained relationship with?"

Dee pushed a lock of hair away from his eyes and looked straight at the other man. "I wasn't very happy about it. We were close to cracking a couple of our cases and it was frustrating to be pulled off them so suddenly, but it happens. However, it's our job to investigate any threat against innocent people so there was no question of us not taking the case, no matter where it came from," he added, sensing where Grundy was going with this questioning.

"Do you hold either Commissioner Rose or my client responsible for making you hand over those other cases and preventing you from taking the credit, as it were, for solving them?"

"Not at all," Dee said angrily, not liking the way Grundy was insinuating that either he or Ryo were glory hunters. "Like I said, it happens."

"So you were happy to take on this investigation, despite knowing it was a 'favour'?"

"Yes."

Dee expected another question but none came as the lawyer paced away to stand near his client, who smiled and nodded encouragingly. Despite everything DA Browning had said, Dee could feel himself getting irritated and he could only hope that his time on the stand was nearing an end before his patience was completely ground to dust

"Detective Latener," Grundy said suddenly, drawing Dee from his thoughts. "I understand you had quite a difficult childhood, raised in a Catholic orphanage. Could you tell me a little about the circumstances of your birth and how you came to be raised in a children's home?"

The question caught Dee off guard but he hid his shock well as the DA called his objection.

"How is this relevant to the case, Mr Grundy?" Judge Coburn asked, looking wearied by the defence lawyer's antics.

"I just want to ensure I have my facts straight, Your Honour," Grundy replied with a gleaming white smile. "I believe it is relevant to my line of questioning."

The judge didn't look hugely impressed as he said, "The witness is free to answer the question if he chooses."

Dee looked straight at Grundy; keen to show he wasn't about to be thrown off balance by his tactics. "I was abandoned as a baby and taken to the home where I was raised by Catholic nuns. There isn't really much to tell."

"That must have been tough," Grundy said with an apparent smile of sympathy.

Dee shrugged. "I don't know. I never knew any different. We were loved and cared for by the nuns. I'm sure there are children with far worse upbringings than mine."

"I'm sure," the lawyer agreed, "But I bet there wasn't much money to go around, was there?"

"No."

"Detective Latener. Would you say your upbringing has caused you to feel resentful of people with money? People who have done well for themselves and are seriously wealthy as a result?"

Dee's handsome face creased into a frown, finding the very suggestion preposterous. "No. I have no reason to feel resentful."

"I see," Grundy said thoughtfully. "It's just that two of my client's security personnel are prepared to testify that on the day you came to my client's home to interview him, they overheard you commenting that people with so much money 'are asking for this kind of shit'. They said you almost sounded pleased that something bad was happening to Mr Goldsmith and his family."

"That's ridiculous," Dee said angrily, his hands balling into fists knowing he'd never said anything of the sort, joke or otherwise. "I'd never say anyone deserved that kind of ordeal just because they had money!"

He happened to glance over at Ryo who was watching him anxiously, his dark eyes pleading with his lover to stay calm.

"You know, Detective Latener," Grundy said, pulling Dee's attention away from the man he loved more than anything in the world. "From what we've heard about the Patterson brothers, their own childhoods are similarly filled with hardship as your own." He turned on Dee suddenly, his voice getting louder as he spoke. "Could it be that, despite what Liam Patterson did to you, you identify with their struggle and support their desire to blame my client for no better reason than he'd been dealt a better hand in life than them, and you for that matter?"

"No!" Dee shouted back.

"Objection!" the DA roared, jumping to his feet as there were murmurs around the courtroom.

Already agitated, the sudden noise startled Dee and he looked frightened, still unable to cope with unexpected situations. Across the courtroom, Ryo recognised the signs of an imminent panic attack but fortunately the DA did too, having spoken extensively to both Dee and Polly before the trial.

"Your Honour, may I call for a recess?" Browning asked, fixing Dee with a look that told him to hold on.

The judge looked at the detective, head bowed as his chest heaved in and out in harsh movements. "Mr Grundy?" the older man said, turning his attention to the defence lawyer. "Do you have any objections to a ten minute recess?"

Grundy looked at Dee, a faint, almost imperceptible smile twitching at his lips. "Not at all. I have no further questions, Your Honour."

Before the courtroom's occupants reacted to the news of the recess, Dee grabbed his crutches and clambered from the witness stand. Seeing his severe agitation, everyone made a path for him as he hurried, head down for the wide double doors at the back of the room. Ryo stood quickly but found his path blocked by an older couple who had no intention of moving from their seats during the recess. When he finally made it out into the corridor, Dee was already at the other end, moving quickly on his crutches towards the men's room.

"Dee, wait!" Ryo shouted, watching in dismay as his lover didn't stop as he crashed through the doors and disappeared into the room beyond. Seeing the DA next to him, Ryo shot him an anxious look. "I'll go and talk to him," he said before he hurried in the direction his lover had gone.

When he reached the men's room, he pushed the door open tentatively as there was a loud crash from the other side.

"Dee?" he said, his eyes fixing on the figure leaning heavily on the washbasin; his crutches, evidently the cause of the clatter, lying across the other side of the room. "Love?"

"What the fuck is wrong with me, Ryo?" the dark haired man cried, spinning to face his lover, his expression filled with anguish. "Why can't I…?" he never got any further as Ryo rushed forward and pulled him into his arms.

"Sssshhhhhhhhh," the blond whispered, stroking his ebony hair in soothing motions. "It's okay, love. You did really well."

He felt Dee shaking his head against his shoulder. "No I didn't. I fell for it, just like Browning warned me."

"Dee," Ryo said, pushing his lover back gently so he could look into the troubled emerald eyes. "Jack Grundy's a bastard and he's pulling out the stops to get under your skin." He stopped speaking and Dee could see how angry his lover was. "You're almost done and then it's up to the jury. I'm sure they'll see past Grundy's bullshit theories."

Dee was unable to prevent the smile that crossed his lips. "You swore twice in the space of a minute there, love. People will be saying I'm a bad influence on you."

"Oh no," Ryo responded with a warm smile as he shook his head. "You're all good."

He was glad when Dee chuckled as he pushed the strands of hair away from his deep green eyes. "Come on. Let's go and see Browning before we have to go back in."

Dee nodded as Ryo crossed the room to retrieve his crutches.

Back in court, Dee returned to the stand, feeling the burning stare of Goldsmith and his lawyer as he crossed the room and settled himself into the witness box. This time, the prosecution was asking the questions and Mr Browning used his star witness to full advantage; probing Dee for every last detail so there was no doubt as to Goldsmith's guilt. Dee answered the prosecutor's questions about the telephone conversation with confidence, holding his volatile emotions in check, despite being asked to recall an experience that he spent the majority of his time trying to forget.

To the detective's surprise, Rose was also called as a witness to the prosecution, taking the stand and describing in full how Goldsmith had tried to blackmail him into forcing Dee's silence. Questions were of course asked as to how Goldsmith was able to blackmail him, leaving the commissioner no choice but to admit to his shameful past as his detectives looked on in disbelief. Rose was a credible witness and as the trial adjourned for the day, Browning spoke of his optimism for securing a conviction, despite Dee's loss of control earlier on. Rose left almost immediately; informing Dee and Ryo that he was a due at a meeting with his superiors, presumably to decide his fate in the face of the revelations about his dubious past.

The day after, the attorneys made their closing arguments before the jury retired to consider their verdict. This time they took much longer; as if they were finding it difficult to reconcile their image of the famous millionaire with the portrait of the man painted by the many prosecution witnesses in court. For all involved it was a tense wait as the hours rolled into an entire day, then two and then three.

Dee and Ryo were at home, lying together on the couch watching an old black and white movie when the telephone started to ring. Seeing Dee had fallen asleep, Ryo eased himself from the tangle of limbs to answer it, moving into the kitchen so as not to wake the sleeping man. When he ended the call however, he knew he'd have to rouse him but fortunately Dee was awake as he opened the kitchen door.

"That was the DA's office," Ryo said solemnly. "The jury have reached a verdict. They'll be back in court within the hour."

Dee swallowed hard and nodded, knowing this was what they'd been waiting for but fearing the outcome all the same. "We'd better get ready then," he said, pulling himself up and reaching for his crutches.

In the end however, the evidence was overwhelming and the jury unanimously convicted the stunned looking millionaire of the charges of conspiracy to kidnap and obstructing justice.

"Impossible!" Goldsmith shouted as the verdict was announced before he cast an angry glance at his attorney. Across from the room, Ryo embraced his partner before they both received a host of celebratory backslaps and hand shakes from their assembled colleagues.

"Silence, please." Judge Coburn demanded as the noise around the courtroom became unbearable. The next step was to set a date for sentencing, although the loudest gasp from around the courtroom came as the judge ordered Goldsmith to be taken straight into custody; concerned that the well-connected millionaire would try to escape justice by fleeing the country.

The verdict caused a media frenzy of historical proportions. It took almost an hour to get away from the courthouse, through the throngs of reporters and general public, all vying for a piece of one of the most high profile trials in the last few years. Fairly or not, Dee Latener was the name on everyone's lips as the man that had brought down the millionaire celebrity Henry Goldsmith and as a result, it took over twenty uniformed officers to hold back the crowds as Dee, accompanied by Ryo and Drake, made their way down the steps to the waiting police car.

They went straight home, knowing Polly would be coming around for Dee's next session. Again Ryo stayed in the bedroom as Dee talked with Polly for almost an hour. Bicky had gone bowling with Cal and some friends and wouldn't be home until later. Eventually, he heard Dee calling his name and he put down his book and padded out into the living room to where the two people were sat at the dining table.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, glancing anxiously at Polly as he sat down next to Dee and instinctively reached across for his hand. The attractive redhead offered him a warm smile.

"Everything's fine, Ryo," she said reassuringly. "We were just talking about what happens now the trial is over."

"Yes?" Ryo said, not sure what was coming next.

Polly glanced across at Dee who nodded that she could explain before she turned her attention back to Ryo. "How would you feel about having a party?"

Ryo looked surprised. "A… a party?"

Polly nodded, tucking her long wavy hair behind her ear. "Dee agreed that the verdict hasn't given him the closure he thought it would and this was one way we thought might help. Besides," she said, checking with Dee again, "I think he has a little announcement."

Ryo looked at Dee interestedly but was greeted by his lover shaking his head. "Not yet," he said with a smile. "Wait until the party."

"Okay," Ryo said thoughtfully, "Is tonight too soon?"

"Can we be ready in time?" Dee asked doubtfully.

"No problem," Ryo grinned before he turned his attention to Polly. "Will you come as our guest of honour?"

Polly smiled broadly after glancing at Dee to check it was okay. "I'd love too."

By nine o'clock the apartment was packed with friends and colleagues, all of whom had jumped at the opportunity to wish Dee well and celebrate the outcome of the trial that affected them all. Opening yet another bottle of wine, Ryo had to smile as he looked out from the kitchen and surveyed the assembled group. Having returned from bowling, Bicky and Cal were in the corner, giggling like idiots from the few sips of wine that they'd sneaked throughout the evening. Dee was sat in one of the armchairs, talking animatedly with Ted and JJ while Drake seemed to be enjoying a prolonged conversation with Polly, who smiled warmly at the detective as she did those unconsciously flirtatious mannerisms that only females could do.

JJ had been surprisingly reserved around Dee, so much so that the recovering detective had been the one to instigate physical contact, hugging the younger man as the others watched on, amused by JJ's uncharacteristic shyness. As the evening wore on, he was slowly returning to normal; hanging on Dee's every word and pouting whenever Ryo showed any signs of affection towards the man he still hoped would one day be his own.

As the hour grew later and everyone had had plenty of food and drink, Dee found his crutches and limped over to where everyone could see him. Sensing he had something to say, conversation died as they all turned to look at the man that had been through so much recently. He smiled shyly as all eyes were upon him, looking to Ryo and then Polly for support.

"Sorry to interrupt the party," he said, surveying the group, "but I just wanted to say a few words. I'm not good at speeches so I'll keep it short but first of all, I just want to thank everyone for coming. This party was about as last minute as it gets and I wouldn't have blamed any of you for not coming if you had other plans. The fact that you're all here makes me feel very special indeed. Either that, or you've all got really crap social lives."

The group laughed as Ryo looked on proudly. "I also want to say a huge thank you to you all for being there for me and Ryo during this whole mess." He paused and swallowed hard before managing a small smile. "We both appreciate it massively and will be eternally grateful to you all. It's really great to know we have such good people around us. And lastly, I just wanted to tell everyone how truly wonderful this man is," he said, reaching out and taking up Ryo's hand. "Those of you that have known and worked with us long enough will know how I fell in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him." He glanced at him blond lover, who was blushing profusely, and smiled. "I'm so grateful that he gave me a chance to prove I was serious about him."

There were the obligatory 'awwwws' from the crowd before Dee spoke again; his tone and expression solemn. "With everything that's happened recently, Ryo has had to put up with a lot and I know I haven't been easy to live with. I'm grateful that he's stuck with me and that goes for you too Bicky," he said, searching out the boy and giving him a quick smile. "Although you're still the most infuriating teenager I know," he added, winking at the boy who laughed and stuck his tongue out in feigned annoyance.

Still smiling, Dee took a deep breath and continued. "And now my little announcement. I just wanted to say to any of my work colleagues that are sat at my desk or using my coffee mug that you'd better stop now because… I've decided to come back to work." He paused to let the information sink in, noting the many surprised expressions around the room. "As of Monday morning, Detective Dee Latener will be back on the job."

There was a spontaneous round of applause during which Dee's eyes fell on Ryo, whose anxiety was poorly masked by his smile. His attention was then drawn as Drake started to speak to him. "That's great news, Dee," the other man said, coming up and shaking Dee's hand in congratulations, "Are you sure you're ready to come back?"

Dee nodded resolutely, causing dark strands of hair to fall into his eyes. "Yeah I'm sure. Rose has given me clearance to come back any time although I'll be limited for a while because of my leg. Truth is; I'm going nuts at home so going back to work is the perfect solution."

"Well okay," Drake replied, his face split by a wide grin, "It'll be good to have you back."

"Thanks," Dee said gratefully, relieved that his good friend and colleague hadn't tried to talk him out of it. He was then ambushed by a steady stream of people all wanting to wish him well, leaving him no opportunity to speak to Ryo until much, much later when everyone had left and they were alone in bed. The blond man had been fairly quiet since Dee had announced his return to work; clearly feeling like it was too soon for his lover who'd been so damaged by recent events, but afraid to voice his opinion for fear of upsetting him.

"You're worried," Dee said as they lay together, Ryo leaning on his chest as he ran his fingers through his lover's wavy blond hair. "You don't have to be Ryo; I know what I'm doing."

Ryo looked up suddenly before leaning in and kissing Dee passionately on the lips. "I'm sorry Dee, I can't help worrying…"

"Hey," Dee said, stroking Ryo's porcelain cheek. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't worry but I promise, I wouldn't be going back if I didn't know I was up to it." Green eyes met brown as his expression changed. "Be happy for me Ryo, _please_?"

Ryo smiled and nodded, unable to resist Dee when he used his good looks to full effect. "I _am_ happy. I'll look forward to working with you again, Detective Latener."

Dee chuckled as he drew Ryo in for another long and passionate kiss.

TBC…


	25. Fighting the Shadows

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 25 – Fighting the Shadows

Monday morning quickly rolled around and Dee found himself standing in front of the mirror, tying his tie while Ryo was out in the kitchen making breakfast. It felt strange knowing that within the hour he'd be back behind the desk he hadn't seen for over a month and the thought left him both excited and nervous. Ryo was fussing madly; wanting to make sure that he had eaten sufficiently before they reached the precinct. He'd tried over the course of the weekend to persuade Dee to work half days until he was back into the swing of things but his lover was dead set on things getting back to normal as quickly as possible.

"Dee?" Ryo called from the other room. "Breakfast's ready."

Having finished dressing, Dee took up his crutches and hobbled out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Bicky was just about to leave as Dee entered, his schoolbag slung over his shoulder and a piece of toast jammed between his lips.

"Good luck, doofus," he managed to say, speaking around his breakfast to Dee as he sat down at the table.

"Thanks, squirt," Dee replied, watching as the boy got out his CD player and stuck the headphones in his ears. He waved at both men as he switched the player on, music immediately filling the room before he turned and left, closing the door with a bang.

"Isn't the point of those things so you can listen to music without having to inflict it on other people?" Dee asked, shaking his head as Ryo set down a bowl of cereal in front of him.

"I've told him he'll be deaf by the time he's thirty," Ryo said, returning to the counter to fetch his own breakfast.

"You told him what?" Dee asked innocently.

"I told him he'd be deaf…" Ryo paused as he realised he'd fallen for one of Dee's favourite jokes yet again. "Ha ha," he said, making a face at the other man. "Very funny, Latener."

Dee grinned as he drowned his cereal in milk. "The old ones are the best!" he chuckled.

Eventually Ryo laughed too, glad that Dee seemed quite relaxed about what lay ahead. He still seemed fairly buoyant as they drove to the precinct; Dee casually smoking a cigarette as Ryo carried out the familiar stop-start motion that came with sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. Three quarters of the way there, Ryo recalled something and smiled.

"Hey Dee," he said, turning to glance at his handsome lover, "You know that one way street that really annoys you?"

"Yeah," Dee replied, wondering exactly where this conversation was leading.

"I drove the wrong way up it."

Dee's eyes widened. "You did? When?"

"When they called me at the station and told me to get straight here because they'd got a lead on your location."

Despite it harking back to a time he'd rather not think about, Dee managed a smile. "Awww, you broke the law for me, baby? I'm really honoured!"

He leaned across and kissed his blond partner, ignoring the wide eyed stare of the young girl in the car in front.

They reached the precinct eventually, pulling into a parking space next to Drake's Celica. As Ryo turned off the ignition, he looked across at Dee who was staring out of the window as if he was somewhere totally alien.

"This is really weird," he muttered, more so to himself than Ryo who was already climbing out of the car to go around the other side to let him out.  

"Yeah, I bet it feels strange being back here."

For the first time that morning, Dee's smile had a touch of nervousness to it. "Yeah… it is a bit."

Together, they slowly made their way inside. The main reception area was empty, other than Janet, the usual desk clerk who looked up from her paperwork as she heard the door open.

"Dee!" she cried, rushing around the desk and throwing her arms around his neck. "Oh my God, it's so great to see you!"

Dee smiled, finding it difficult to return the embrace with his crutches dangling from his wrists. "You too Janet, how's things?"

"Oh you know," the female officer replied, winking as she grinned at him. "Overworked, underpaid, the usual."

Dee laughed as he pushed his dark mane away from his eyes. "Well, I'll keep you in mind if I win the lottery."

"You do that," she said, patting his arm affectionately before she returned to her desk. "It's really good to see you back. See you later, guys."

The two men then took the stairs to their fourth floor office since the elevator was out of order yet again. "This is weird," Dee said, looking up at the paint-peeling stairway and shaking his head. When he didn't get a response, he glanced left to see Ryo smiling at him, his dark eyes twinkling with amusement.

"What?"

"You said that already," the blond man laughed.

Dee made a face as he reached their destination, his hand resting on the handle for a moment before he pushed the door open.

"Welcome back!" came the chorus of voices as the two men went to enter the room. Dee looked slightly startled by the sudden noise before he realised it wasn't a threat and relaxed, his face breaking into a wide grin as he saw all his immediate colleagues stood in the office surrounded by balloons and streamers. Pinned on the far wall was a huge banner with the words '_Welcome Back __Dee__!_" emblazoned on it in large black letters. JJ immediately rushed forward; throwing his arms around Dee before the other man had chance to evade capture. "I'm so glad you're back, Dee! I've missed you so much!" he gushed, unabashedly pouring his heart out in front of his colleagues.

"I've er… missed you too, JJ," Dee replied, glancing at Ted and Drake for support.

"Easy JJ," Drake said, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder, "Let Dee get inside the damn office."

"Sorry," JJ replied, looking genuinely contrite as he stepped back to allow Dee and Ryo past.

The dark haired detective then spotted something as he made his way around to his desk. The wooden surface of the desk was clear, his pot of pens and framed photo of him and Ryo still in place, but his eyes were drawn to the set of trays used to house his paperwork.

"Very funny guys," he said with a smirk as he eyed his 'In' tray, which was piled so high that the plastic was bowed under the weight and he couldn't see past the stack of files when he sat down.

The other men chuckled as Drake walked over to move some of the files. "Just kidding," he said with a wink. ""You're officially allowed to take it easy on your first day back."

"Not completely," JJ said suddenly, his expression slightly nervous. "Rose wants to see you in his office some time this morning."

Dee nodded before instinctively glancing across at Ryo for support. "I'm sure it'll be nothing," Ryo replied reassuringly.

Later on, Dee made his way over to Rose's office after finishing a couple of items of paperwork still outstanding from earlier cases. He hated report writing, and was almost glad that he could take a break from the arduous duty even if it was to spend time with the commissioner. Rose offered Dee a nod of greeting as the dark haired detective came to sit at his desk, discarding his crutches and easing himself into the chair.

"How you finding things?" Rose asked, pushing aside some papers and resting his elbows on the desk.

"Okay," Dee replied, nodding. "I've got enough paperwork to keep me busy until I retire but other than that…"

"You could always go on the desk downstairs," Rose suggested with a hint of a smirk, knowing how much most cops hated desk duties almost as much as paperwork.

Dee shot him a green eyed glare before Rose's expression sobered. "Look Dee, I'm sure you already know that I've been allowed to keep my job and I wanted to make sure you were okay with that."

The detective raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Could I do anything about it if I wasn't?"

"Yes you could," Rose replied flatly. "I'm on a final warning and any suggestion that I've acted inappropriately would see me out of a job before I had time to say my own name. There are certain people above me that would love to see me go and would act on any accusations without bothering to find out whether there was any truth to them first." He stopped there; letting the words hang in the air so Dee could see the power he suddenly wielded over the man he had spent a large percentage of his time disliking.

"Well I'm not like that," Dee said, his stare unwavering. "I'll admit, I'm still angry over everything that happened but it's time to move on. For _my_ sake," he added, wanting Rose to know that he was doing it to protect his own interests.

Rose nodded, feeling once again that his attraction to Ryo might have caused him to underestimate the man he saw as his rival first, and a decent human being second. As if Dee sensed the commissioner's thoughts, he spoke as he collected up his crutches and stood from the chair.

"If you want to do anything for me, Commissioner," he said, heading for the door before he paused and turned back round. "You can stay away from Ryo and stop deluding yourself that he'll be yours one day." He didn't wait for Rose's reaction before he exited the room, pulling the glass-panelled door shut behind him.

After lunch, Dee was left alone in the office as Ryo went out to interview a witness in a shooting case with Ted. Ted's partner Marty was away on vacation so it made sense for the blond to pair up with the other man while Dee was confined to desk duties. Ryo hadn't particularly wanted to leave his lover on his first day back but Dee had assured him he would be okay, despite being fairly quiet over lunch.

His reticence, Ryo suspected, had something to do with his experience earlier on when he'd tried to find somewhere quiet to give himself his insulin. He'd ended up locked in one of the cubicles in the men's bathroom, his equipment laid out on the toilet seat as the fluorescent lights flickered overhead. As he'd left, someone had jokingly asked him if he was doing drugs in there, he'd been in so long. Dee had provided a humorous reply but the off the cuff comment seemed to have affected him more than he'd admit, Ryo had thought to himself when Dee had told him what had happened.

Tiring of paperwork, and with no one in the office to talk to, Dee decided to go and find some old case files that Rose had asked him to look up. The record stores were in the basement and Dee was relieved to find that someone had been out to mend the elevator over the course of the morning, as the thought of negotiating five flights of stairs on crutches filled him with dread. He rode the newly fixed elevator, chatting amicably with a couple of uniformed cops before they exited on the ground floor, leaving him to carry on to the basement alone.

Being nothing more than a storage area for old case files, the basement was not the most hospitable of places and despite the warm weather outside, there was something of a chill in the air as Dee left the elevator and headed towards the room housing banks of shelves and filing cabinets on the far wall. An unshaded bulb dangled overhead, the thick coating of dust causing the light to give off very little glow as Dee squinted at his list, reacquainting himself with what he was down there to find.

Afterwards, he couldn't pinpoint what it was that had started it. It might have been the unexpected noise as the old wooden door banged shut, or just the generally oppressive atmosphere that suddenly enveloped him as his mind involuntarily brought forth memories of the last time he'd been alone in a cold, dark place. His breathing escalated at an alarming rate and he found himself staggering against the cabinets as the room started to spin before him.

"Help… Ryo…" he gasped before he slumped to the floor, his chest constricting until he felt he couldn't breathe at all.

He couldn't have been out for long; mere minutes he predicted, as none of his colleagues had come looking for him. His breathing calmed although his heart continued to pound in his chest as a heavy sheen of sweat began to chill on his skin. He stayed on the floor for several minutes, reluctant to head back up and let anyone see the state he was in.

"I can cope," he said through gritted teeth, surprising himself that he had put voice to his thoughts. Who was he justifying his actions to, other than a load of dusty filing cabinets? "Get a grip, Latener," he grumbled as he hauled himself into a standing position using his crutches for support and brushed his clothes down. He spied a pile of paper towels by the door, which he made his way over to and scooped up with one hand, using them to wipe the perspiration from his face.

Over the remaining part of the day, Dee successfully hid what had happened from his colleagues, Ryo included, although the perceptive blond continued to worry that he was quieter than usual as they travelled home together. By evening, Ryo had written Dee's reticence off to fatigue, since the other man suggested that they retire earlier than usual. Even though Dee didn't speak to confirm it, Ryo felt better with a potential reason for his lover's behaviour, but his anxiety flared again sometime in the early hours when he awoke to a shout from beside him.

Gripped by the horrors of a nightmare, Dee threw himself into Ryo's sheltering embrace and stayed there until his breathing calmed and the images started to fade.

"Ssshhhhhhh," Ryo whispered, stroking the ebony head. "It's okay, love. It was just a dream."

"God…" Dee said; his eyes wide. "I've not had a dream like that for ages." He pulled away and looked up at Ryo worriedly. "Shit, I thought all that was in the past."

"It is," the blond said reassuringly, "It's probably because you're worn out after your first day back at work."

Dee seemed to mull this over before settling for his lover's explanation. "I guess…"

He allowed Ryo to pull him back down so his head rested on the blond's pale chest, their steady breathing the only sound as they lay together in the dark.

In the morning, Dee was feeling a little more optimistic. His nightmare had long since faded and if anything, he felt slightly embarrassed that he had allowed himself to get so worked up over a dream as Ryo watched him anxiously across the breakfast table.

"Maybe you should stay home," the blond said, lowering his teacup and studying Dee's handsome face. "You look tired."

"I'm fine," Dee replied, toying with his insulin before he put it in his bag and zipped it up. "Really. Don't make such a big deal."

Ryo looked wounded and held back any further comments, sensing an impending argument. "Yeah well, just take it easy," he said, standing quickly and taking his cup over to the sink so if Dee was glaring at him then he wouldn't know about it.

Dee's second day back started well enough. In the morning, most of his colleagues stayed around the office and they passed the time exchanging smart comments as they waded through the piles of paperwork that their job generated. At lunch, as Dee was returning from the men's room after checking his blood sugar levels and injecting himself with his insulin, Ted suggested that they all go out to get something to eat; a kind of celebration since Dee was back and it was rare they were all in the office together.

The group of men headed down in the elevator, laughing and jokingly arguing about where they were going to eat. As the carriage drew to a stop at the ground floor, they were instantly greeted by the sound of raised voices and a loud bang as something hit the wall beside the elevator. The men exchanged glances as the doors started to slide open, thrusting them, unprepared into the fray.

At the front desk, a large group of men were arguing with Janet and another uniformed officer who had obviously appeared to offer her some support. It was obvious that some of the men were drunk and several of them were starting to become physically aggressive as they advanced on the outnumbered desk officers. The chair, lying broken by the elevator told the detectives what the crash had been and they knew that things were getting out of hand very quickly.

"Dee," Drake said quickly as Ted, Ryo and JJ hurried past him, "Go up to first floor and get help."

Dee nodded, knowing there was little he could physically do while he was on crutches. As Drake exited, immediately squaring up to a staggering shaven headed man, Dee limped forward and pushed the button to send the elevator up to the first floor, cursing at how slowly the machinery reacted. The doors were almost closed when a hand shot through the gap and began to prise the barriers apart.

"Oh no you don't, cop," a voice growled, a full arm now through the opening. "You're not getting away; you deserve this shit!"

_You deserve this shit._

Dee froze. He'd heard those words uttered with the same level of hatred by the man that had abducted him and for a split second, he was back in that tortured existence, pleading and praying for his survival against lengthening odds. The panic attack that followed was inevitable.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Dee roared before his voice deteriorated into a series of harsh, rasping breaths. Using his crutch as a weapon he swung it blindly as he collapsed against the back wall of the carriage, waiting for pain to breakthrough the barrier of dizziness and nausea as the attacker advanced on him. In his panicked state, it took several moments for the voice speaking to him to register as a non-threat.

"Dee? _Dee_!"

He felt hands on his face, stroking back his hair in soothing motions as he fought to regain control over his breathing. The cacophony of noise had ceased and slowly, his eyes and mind focussed, realising that the threat had now gone and in its place were his colleagues, looking down at him in concern. Crouched next to him was Ryo; dark eyes fearfully displaying his worry.

"What happened, love?" he asked, once he was certain Dee had calmed.

"I don't know," he replied, rubbing his eyes vigorously, his panic quickly replaced by a sense of awkwardness. "Guess I fell over or something."

Ryo opened his mouth to say something but stopped and nodded instead. After a while he said simply, "Maybe I should take you home."

Dee looked up suddenly; green eyes hard and defiant. "I'm fine. Besides, you're the one bleeding, not me."

Seeing the direction of his lover's gaze, Ryo reached up and touched his cheek; his fingers finding the thin trickle of blood from a scratch to the left of his eye.

"It's nothing," he said quickly, too preoccupied with Dee to worry about himself.

"Maybe you should both go home," Ted suggested, barely finishing the sentence before he was met by an irritated look from Dee.

"Guys, I'm fine. I don't need to go home. Let's go and get some lunch, okay?"

Not wanting to start an argument, the other detectives nodded, letting Dee have his way but not happy about it.

Throughout lunch and the rest of the day, Dee could feel his colleagues watching him closely and he was quiet and short-tempered as a result, growing tired of insisting that he was okay. By the following day he had convinced himself that both Ryo and his co-workers were dubious about his ability to do his job and so he threw himself into his work, barely indulging in any idle chit-chat as he wrote, processed and filed reports with uncharacteristic efficiency. When Ryo and Drake announced that they were going out to make an arrest, Dee acknowledged their departure with a wave of the hand as he faxed a pile of reports to the forensics lab. Ryo cast Drake a fretful glance as they closed the door and headed for the stairs.

"Don't worry," Drake said, placing a reassuring hand on Ryo's shoulder. "JJ's staying around the office; he'll keep an eye on him."

Ryo nodded, knowing that he needed to concentrate on work if he was to be any use to Drake as they went to make the arrest.

Several hours later, the two detectives entered the precinct, both feeling as if they'd done a week's work in a matter of hours. They'd gone to arrest the subject, who as they'd predicted, had no intention of coming quietly. He'd slipped past them, forcing Ryo and Drake to set off in pursuit, until they cornered him in an alleyway and successfully made the arrest. Muscles still burning from the chase, climbing the stairs up to their office seemed an almost insurmountable task and by the time they'd reached the fourth floor, they were both laughing at how out of breath they were.

"Shit, we're like a couple of old men!" Drake chuckled between gasps. They both paused in disbelief as the elevator doors suddenly opened and some people stepped out. Drake pointed at the now working machinery.

"Did you know…?" he started to say before they set off giggling again at the fact that they'd climbed the stairs when the elevator was working.

They were still laughing as Rose appeared out of his office, his expression one of annoyance. "Detective McLain," he snapped, glaring at the two men, "If your partner wasn't up to coming back to work then you should have tried harder to talk him out of it." He ended the conversation, giving Ryo no chance to respond before he disappeared into his own office, slamming the door behind him. Ryo turned to Drake, who looked equally confused as they headed to their own office, determined to find Dee and understand what Rose was so annoyed about.

They entered their office to find JJ sitting alone at Drake's desk, filling in some paperwork. He looked up and smiled at the two men, glad that he was no longer alone. "Hey guys, where've you been? You've been gone for hours!"

Drake rolled his eyes, not needing a reminder of how long they'd been running around. Ryo on the other hand, obviously had other concerns. "Uh, JJ? We've just seen Rose and he seems a bit mad with Dee about something. Has something happened while we were out?"

Ryo was surprised when JJ grinned and shook his head. "Rose is just pissed that Dee went on his coffee break over four hours ago and hasn't come back yet!"

The blond detective frowned. "Not come back? Where is he?"

"In the common room. He lay across some of the chairs and went to sleep. He looked so sweet; I didn't have the heart to wake him. Rose said he tried to but Dee was dead to the world."

Ryo glanced worriedly at Drake, recalling how lightly Dee had been sleeping since his abduction. Something wasn't quite adding up. A thought occurred to him and he moved around to Dee's desk, flinging open one of the drawers and pulling out the contents. When he had the small leather case in his hand, he glanced back at JJ. "In the common room, right?" he said as he headed to the door. Drake seemed to sense what Ryo's concerns were as he grabbed the blond's arm before he could leave. "D'you want me to come with you?" he asked gently.

Ryo nodded grimly as they rushed from the room, leaving JJ to stare at their retreating forms in confusion. After a moment, he stood up and followed after them.

Ryo entered the common room and found Dee exactly as JJ had described him. He was laid on his back across four of the easy chairs, his tie hanging loose around his neck as his chest rose and fell in shallow motions. His skin was pallid and an almost imperceptible sheen of sweat coated his face. After a quick glance to confirm that Drake had noticed it too, Ryo dropped to his knees in front of his lover.

"Dee?" he said sharply, shaking the other's shoulders as he'd been taught to do. "Dee, can you hear me?"

When he received no response, he grabbed Dee's diabetes kit and opened it, his fingers fumbling with the zip in his rush to find the piece of equipment he needed. There was silence although Ryo could feel several sets of eyes on him as people entered the room behind Drake. He pulled out the pen-like device and, taking up one of Dee's slack hands, used it to prick the end of his forefinger. As the droplet of blood formed at the end of the digit, Ryo manoeuvred Dee's hand so the appropriate finger rested on the blood glucose monitor held in his other hand. Depositing the droplet on the test strip he waited a couple of seconds before the monitor beeped and displayed the result.

"He's low," Ryo said anxiously, turning to look at Drake as he confirmed what they'd both suspected. "Very low."

He placed the monitor back on the floor and ran his hands through his hair as he tried to recall what he had been instructed to do in this kind of situation. "He needs sugar," he said, thinking out loud as he went back into the leather case where he knew there were some glucose tablets. His hands were shaking as he began to fumble with the packet of high energy sweets.

"No," Drake said, coming to kneel beside him. "If he's unconscious then he'll choke on them. He needs an injection of Glucagon."

Ryo turned to look at the other man; a horrified expression frozen on his handsome features. "Oh God, Drake you're right… how could I get that wrong?"

"It's okay," Drake said reassuringly as he took the equipment bag from Ryo and began to hunt around for the required medication. "You've never done this before. It's hard to remember what to do."

When he couldn't find any Glucagon, he stood and headed to the wall-mounted phone, ignoring the anxious looks from JJ and the several uniformed officers stood in the doorway. "We'll have to call for an ambulance," he said to Ryo who remained on the floor, clearly in a state of shock. "We can't do anything because he needs Glucagon. Don't worry; he'll be okay, Ryo."

Ryo watched numbly as Drake gave his name and their location to the operator before he was asked to explain what the problem was. "We have an unconscious adult male who suffers from type one diabetes. He's hypoglycaemic and we have no means to treat him. pause On its way? Thanks, that's great."

He put down the receiver and made his way back over to Ryo, inwardly cringing at the curious mutterings in the doorway. '_Did you know Latener had diabetes_?' he heard someone say as he knelt beside Ryo and put his arm around his shoulders. "The ambulance should be with us in five minutes," he explained.

"Oh God, Drake," Ryo cried suddenly, covering his face with his hands. "What the hell have we done to deserve this?"

Sensing this was the straw about to break the proverbial camel's back, Drake turned to the men at the doorway. "JJ? Can you go to the front desk so you can direct the paramedics up here?"

He watched as his colleague, still wide eyed and slightly confused about what was happening, nodded before he turned around and disappeared from view, leaving several other faces still peering in curiously. "Come on guys, can you give us a little space?" Drake said, prompting them to go, closing the door behind them.

"It's okay Ryo," he said, rubbing the other man's back in soothing motions as the blond began to sob into his hands. "Dee'll be okay. Sometimes things like this just happen."

"Yeah, but they keep happening to us, don't they?"

Drake's response was delayed, keenly aware of why Ryo felt their luck was worse than most at the moment. "Hey, come on," he said, allowing the other man to cry openly on his shoulder, sensing this was the first real opportunity Ryo had had to unburden his feelings about everything that had happened.

His sobs had subsided by the time the door opened again and JJ entered, bringing with him a paramedic. Letting Ryo go from the embrace, Drake pulled the blond man with him so the emergency worker could get to Dee.

"This is Dee Latener. He's been here at least four hours but nobody realised that there was anything wrong because he hasn't told anyone about his diabetes," Drake explained, saving Ryo the job since he didn't look up to talking. "He doesn't seem to have any Glucagon so we haven't been able to do anything."

"Okay," the paramedic said, opening his equipment bag. "D'you know what his blood sugar level is?"

"Forty," Ryo said, from behind Drake, looking a little more composed despite his red eyes.

The paramedic glanced at the Ryo and nodded as he prepared the vital injection. He then unbuttoned Dee's shirt and administered the drug into the unconscious man's stomach. "Help me get him on his side," he said to Drake who was nearest. "Glucagon sometimes causes vomiting."

When they had Dee comfortable, the emergency worker turned to the two men. "Has this happened before?" he asked, keeping them occupied while they waited for the drug to take effect.

"No," Ryo replied, shaking his head. "He's only just been diagnosed."

"Okay," the medic said, seeing the other man was clearly distressed about what had happened. "I think maybe we'll take him to the hospital, just to be on the safe side since this is the first time he's gone hypo. I'll just go and get a stretcher."

He stood up and left, passing a blank looking JJ in the doorway. "Ryo? Drake?" the younger man asked quietly when they were alone. "Is Dee going to be okay?"

Leaving Ryo who was gently stroking the hair away from Dee's face, Drake straightened up and walked over to his anxious colleague. "Yeah, he's gonna be fine," he reassured. "You've heard of diabetes, right?"

JJ nodded. "But I don't really know what it is."

Drake contemplated the best way to explain. "It's a condition where your body doesn't make insulin which you need to break down the sugar in food. Dee has to give himself injections of insulin to lower his blood sugar level."

"So why's he unconscious?"

Drake shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe he miscalculated his dose and gave himself too much. Sometimes it just happens."

JJ looked haunted as his eyes brimmed with tears. "I thought he was sleeping…"

"Hey, now stop that," Drake said gently but firmly, "Dee decided not to tell anyone about his condition. You weren't to know."

The conversation ended as the paramedic returned and unfolded the stretcher. Ryo helped him get Dee on it, ensuring that his lover remained on his side in case the Glucagon caused him to be sick.

"I need to come with you," Ryo said, gripping the rail of the stretcher firmly as he gazed down at the unconscious man. "He's had a traumatic time lately and I don't want him coming round and finding me not there."

The paramedic looked at him and debated whether to argue or not, eventually conceding from the look of determination on the blond's face that it wasn't worth the effort. "Okay," he said, "We'll say it's police protection." He gave Ryo a wry smile, knowing the men's real relationship, courtesy of the recent media attention.

As they reached the front of the building, Rose appeared having heard the commotion of an ambulance arriving. "What's going on?" he said, not sure who best to address.

"Dee's ill," Drake said, allowing Ryo to pass with the paramedic before he gave into the temptation of making Rose feel bad. "He wasn't sleeping; he was in a diabetic coma. Did you not realise something was wrong when he wouldn't wake up?"

Rose looked shocked and then angry. "No, I didn't but maybe I would have if I'd known one of my detectives had a serious medical condition that could cause him to pass out."

His gaze fell upon Ryo accusingly, the expression on his face indicating that he was not at all pleased. "Go to the hospital and see he's okay," he said to him sharply. "When you get back, report to my office immediately."

Ryo nodded meekly; the fight in him all gone as he turned and headed after the stretcher.

"That was unfair," Drake said angrily, glaring at Rose once Ryo had gone. "Couldn't you see he was upset?"

"I should have been told," Rose repeated before he turned and stalked back up the stairs.

TBC…


	26. Reaching the Limits

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 26 – Reaching the Limits

With a scary sense of déjà vu, Ryo found himself sitting alone in the waiting room as he waited for news of his lover's condition. Half an hour had passed before the door opened and Dr Stephens stepped into the room, smiling at Ryo as she came to sit beside him.

"How is he?" he asked, feeling ashamed that despite all her advice and teaching about diabetes, they had still managed to wind up with Dee requiring emergency treatment.

"He's okay," she said reassuringly, "He came round about ten minutes ago and aside from feeling a little worse for wear, he seems fine. We'll keep him in overnight just to make sure his blood sugar has stabilised but he'll be able to go home tomorrow."

"That's good," Ryo replied, looking hugely relieved. "Do you know how he got so low? I was out for several hours so I wasn't with him much today," he explained.

The female medic nodded. "Dee thinks he miscalculated his insulin. He says he was feeling very stressed when he came to do his injection before lunch."

Ryo looked shocked, having not recognised that his lover was under so much strain. "I… I didn't know," he said weakly as he gazed down at his hands, "I didn't want him to go back to work so soon but he insisted it was what he wanted."

"I thought as much," Dr Stephens said with a smile, keen to show the other man that she didn't blame him for what had happened. "I doubt you'd have talked him out of it; he certainly is a very wilful man."

Ryo smiled at the accurate description of his beautiful lover. "Most definitely. Can I see him now?"

The doctor nodded, indicating as she stood for Ryo to follow her. She showed him to the appropriate room before disappearing off down the corridor to carry on with her other duties.

Dee looked like he was sleeping as Ryo entered the room but his green eyes blinked open at the sound of the door closing. He smiled as Ryo came to sit beside him, reaching out for his lover's hand and squeezing it gently. He still looked pale; the tone of his skin contrasting strongly with the darkness of his hair.

"Hey," he said hoarsely, noting that his lover's eyes looked suspiciously red. "Sorry if I scared you, baby."

Ryo smiled; not wanting Dee to feel guilty about how much what had happened _had_ frightened him. "Don't worry, love. The important thing is you're okay. How're you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a bus," Dee replied with a grimace.

"Dee…" Ryo said slowly, "Dr Stephens said you did your insulin wrong because you were stressed. Is something wrong?"

Dee looked unhappy as he turned to gaze out of the window. "I think maybe you were right," he said vaguely.

Ryo frowned. "Right?"

"About going back to work. It's not been as easy as I thought."

Ryo was surprised by the admission. Dee hated being wrong and very rarely admitted when his plans didn't turn out the way he'd expected, so to hear such a confession from his lover was an indication of how he had grown and changed in the face of recent events.

"So what can we do?" Ryo asked; his choice of pronouns reminding Dee that he viewed every problem as a shared conundrum to be solved.

"I don't know," Dee replied, rubbing his dark circled eyes wearily. "I asked Dr Stephens to contact Polly. She's coming this evening to see if we can work something out. The last thing I want to do is quit my job but I just can't cope with constantly being confronted with situations that remind me of what's happened."

Ryo nodded; unable to prevent the slight twinge of jealousy at the fact that Dee had to look to someone else for support. "I'm sure there'll be a solution," he said reassuringly before his face broke into a frown. "I need to get back to work. Rose wants to me in his office straight away. He's angry that he wasn't told about your diabetes."

Dee looked worried that he had gotten his partner into trouble. "It was my choice," he said defensively. "I checked it out; there was no legal obligation for me to tell them at the precinct."

"I know," Ryo said quickly, not wanting Dee to feel like he was being criticised. "But for safety's sake…"

"Yeah well… maybe that's something else I got wrong too."

Ryo smiled and squeezed his lover's hand, glad that he had come to the most sensible conclusion. "Well, I'll go and see what I can do about Rose," he said, making a face at the thought of the verbal dressing down he was likely to receive back at the station.

Dee nodded, wishing he could be with Ryo when he had to face the furious commissioner on their behalf. "Good luck," he said before he leaned forward and kissed the blond man soundly. "Will you pick me up tomorrow?" he asked, as they broke off for air. "They reckon they'll be releasing me about lunchtime."

"Sure thing," Ryo replied with a broad smile as he rested his forehead against Dee's. "Now you just get some rest and promise me you'll ring me if you want me to come back or need anything."

"Promise," Dee said sincerely after they had kissed one last time.

Ryo returned to the precinct with a huge feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. Rose had looked furious when he had left and in one way, Ryo found he couldn't really blame him. Although Dee was right when he said he wasn't obliged to tell his employer about his condition, Ryo couldn't help but think that it wasn't the most sensible stance to adopt; today's events had proved that.

Before he got out of his car, Ryo called home, leaving a message on the answer machine for Bicky to say that he'd be slightly late getting in from work. He didn't mention anything about Dee; not wanting to worry the teenager by telling him what had happened over the phone.

Most of his colleagues had left for the day but there was a note from Drake telling him to call when he got a minute; obviously anxious to know how his friend and colleague was faring physically and also how Ryo was feeling after everything that had happened. As he climbed the stairs to the fourth floor, Ryo hoped that Rose had left too but the light in the commissioner's office was on as he approached, confirming that the older man was still there, waiting for Ryo to get back. He knocked tentatively, waiting for the invitation to enter before he turned the handle and stepped into the office.

Rose was at his desk, smoking a cigarette as he looked over some papers. He looked up and gestured to the empty chair as Ryo entered, his expression not friendly but not unfriendly either.

"How's Dee?" he asked when Ryo was seated across from him.

"He's okay," Ryo replied, feeling a certain amount of awkwardness at the question since it reminded him of the time not that long ago when he'd yelled at Rose for not caring enough to ask that very same thing. "They're keeping him in overnight but he'll be allowed home tomorrow."

"That's good," Rose said, nodding thoughtfully. "I really would have preferred to have known about his diabetes though."

Ryo felt his prepared protestations sticking in his throat. "I know, Sir," he said eventually, relieved that Rose wasn't angry. "Believe me, I wanted Dee to make it common knowledge, just in case anything like this happened but he was adamant that he didn't want anyone to know." He looked straight at Rose, the anxiety he'd been experiencing at the thought of this confrontation slipping away. "Dee's job means a lot to him, Sir and he hated the thought of people thinking that he wouldn't be able to do it properly any more because of his diabetes."

Rose nodded; identifying with the sentiment. "I'm not angry, Ryo and I certainly believe that I of all people am in no position to criticise anyone for not being open about things."

Ryo looked up in surprise. Rose had deliberately opened that door, sensing that his detective still bore some hostility towards him for everything that had happened with Henry Goldsmith.

"You have every right to be angry with me for what happened, Ryo," he said watching the other man carefully. "There's no excuse for what I did and I don't expect your forgiveness; yours or Dee's, but I don't know how else to make amends, other than to try and do my job well. Trust me; I'm grateful that I still _have_ a job."

Ryo didn't know what to say, surprised that Rose had been allowed to keep his job after everything he'd done. He'd be lying if he said he still respected the other man and he could only pray that Rose didn't ask him as much.

"I know everyone feels differently about me now," Rose said suddenly, breaking into Ryo's thoughts with amazing perceptiveness. "I know when I give orders that you're all looking at me thinking 'why the hell should we take instruction from a liar and a fraud?' I can see it in people's eyes that they don't respect me anymore."

It would have been easy to lie at that point, but Ryo knew he'd only be angry with himself later if he did.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but it's hard to see you in the same light," he said; dark eyes trained upon his senior. "What you did almost caused a good, honest man to lie on the stand, contradicting everything he believes and tries to uphold as a police officer. You can see why people are upset. And me? You hurt the man I love, although God only knows how you got him to agree to lie for you." He shot Rose an angry look. "I don't _want_ to know but it's difficult to respect and trust you after what you did to Dee, especially when he was so vulnerable."

He expected a sharp retort, but Rose remained silent, knowing there was nothing he could say that would take the edge off the truth as Ryo saw it.

"Look," he said eventually, "There's a jeweller's not far from the station that makes medical alert jewellery. It's a good way of letting people know if you have a serious condition without having to go round telling people. It may be just what Dee is looking for. My father had a bracelet because he had epilepsy."

Ryo frowned, appreciating the suggestion but not sure why Rose was bringing it up. "I'll check it out first thing in the morning."

"Some of the medical alert jewellery looks pretty cheap and doesn't last long but there are some really nice items that are around three and four hundred dollars." He paused and looked straight at Ryo. "I'd like you to choose something for Dee and charge it to me at the precinct; call it a welcome back present from the department."

Ryo's eyes widened. "That's not necessary, Sir…"

"Please," Rose said firmly. "I'd be grateful if you'd do that. Besides, your colleagues had organised a collection for Dee so I'm sure they'd want him to have something so useful." He suddenly reached down and retrieved something from one of his desk drawers. "You might also want to get this mended too."

He pushed the small transparent bag across his desk, revealing the solid silver cross that they had received along with the kidnapper's third note, as evidence that he really had Dee held captive. Ryo gasped when he saw it, having forgotten all about the item. "I managed to negotiate it from the DA's office; save it from going on a shelf with all the rest of the evidence," he explained. "I thought you might want to give it back to Dee."

"Thank you," Ryo said, clutching the item against his chest, amazed that the sight of one small piece of jewellery could evoke such emotions within him.

"Go to the jeweller's before you come in, in the morning. I'll give them a ring to let them know you're coming."

Ryo stood from his seat and offered the other man a small smile as he nodded. "Thank you, Sir. I'm sure Dee will appreciate the gesture."

"No problem," Rose replied, returning the smile. "Good night, Ryo."

"Good night Commissioner," Ryo said as he closed the door, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction that he'd had the opportunity to air his grievances.

Shortly after lunch the next day, Ryo arrived at the hospital to collect his lover. In a small bag he carried Dee's newly repaired cross and a beautiful white gold bracelet, bought by the precinct and costing just over four hundred dollars. It had large links; just like one Dee had been admiring several months ago, and a bar on which the Caduceus symbol was engraved. The image of a snake winding itself around a wand was associated with health and would inform people that the wearer had a serious medical condition, particularly if they were unable to say so themselves. On the back, the jeweller had engraved the vital information, '_Insulin Dependent Diabetic'_ to ensure the bracelet was as practical as it was beautiful. Ryo just hoped that Dee would like it; that his proud lover wouldn't see the item as a symbol of weakness.

He reached Dee's room and found the other sitting on his bed, waiting to leave. Drake had kindly agreed to drop in some clothes for Dee after he'd spoken to Ryo the evening before. He'd been equally surprised at Rose's change in attitude after Ryo had relayed their conversation and they both concluded that it could only be a change for the better. When Ryo had told him about the bracelet, Drake had agreed it was an excellent idea, giving Ryo permission to spend the money they had collected from his colleagues at the precinct. Ryo then explained how much Rose had told him to spend and Drake mischievously replied that he was to ensure that he spent every last cent, particularly if the shortfall from the collection was being made up from Rose's own pocket. Ryo hadn't intended to do it; but the bracelet he had liked best _had_ been the most expensive and so after surprisingly little consideration, he had purchased it; feeling that the cost went at least a little way to righting Rose's wrongs.

"Hey, love," Ryo said, giving the dark haired man a passionate kiss. "Ready for off?"

"Yeah," Dee replied, before his eyes fell on the item in Ryo's hand. "What's in the bag?"

Ryo followed the direction of the green eyed gaze and realised he'd forgotten about the presents. "Oh yeah… these are for you. The smaller box is from me and the bigger one is from everyone at the station. It was Rose's suggestion; I hope you like it."

With a frown of curiosity, Dee retrieved the larger box first and opened it slowly, revealing the heavy white-gold bracelet. His face broke into a smile as he lifted it out and fingered it carefully. His eyes fell on the engraved snake design and he looked up at Ryo questioningly.

"It's the Caduceus symbol," Ryo explained. "It's called a medical alert bracelet which tells people about your condition if they found you unconscious. Rose suggested it so you wouldn't have to feel like you had to go around telling everyone you were diabetic." He watched as Dee turned the item of jewellery over and read the inscription on the back. "If you don't like it…" he started to say.

"I love it," Dee said with a smile. "And I think it's a great idea… even if it came from Rose," he added as an afterthought.

Ryo laughed as Dee slipped the bracelet over his wrist and admired it for a moment. "Was there something from you as well?" he asked, looking back into the bag and seeing the smaller box nestled at the bottom. "You really shouldn't have, baby."

Ryo remained silent as Dee opened the box, his expression changing with the action. "Is this…?"

"Yeah," Ryo said gently. "The kidnapper sent it with one of his communications. It would have just gone into the evidence boxes but Rose got it back; he thought you might want it so I got it repaired."

Dee looked up at Ryo, his eyes filled with emotion. "Thank you," was all he managed to say before they embraced each other, staying that way for several long moments as their emotions resettled. When they parted, Ryo took the silver cross and fastened it around his lover's neck; smiling happily to see it back where it belonged. With the presents out of the way, Ryo stood and picked up Dee's crutches from where they were leaning against the wall and handed them to him.

"Come on, let's get out of here," he said, holding the door for the dark haired man as they exited the room together.

As they climbed into the car, Ryo suddenly recalled that his lover had arranged to see his psychiatrist the evening before and he was curious to know whether they had come up with any solutions to the current hitch in the long and arduous healing process.

"How did it go with Polly last night?" he asked as he took advantage of a gap in the traffic and pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

"Okay," Dee said somewhat vaguely as he stared out of the window at the passing scenery.

Seeing he wasn't going to elaborate, Ryo felt the need to change the subject before the silence became awkward. "So… you liked your present from all the guys?" he said, at a loss for conversation.

"Yeah," Dee said, looking at the bracelet again. "Will you thank everyone for me?"

"Sure," Ryo replied, wondering whether this meant what he thought it did. Eventually his curiosity got the better of him. "So you're not coming back to work just yet then?"

"No."

They lapsed into silence again; Ryo concentrating on the traffic as Dee continued to watch the world go by through the passenger side window. It stayed that way until they reached the apartment, during which time Ryo's anxiety had started to grow. He was certain neither of the presents he had brought was responsible for his lover's change in mood; he'd said he liked them and Ryo had believed him, but something seemed to be troubling the other man and causing his brooding silence.

Over the course of the afternoon, Ryo tried several times to talk to him, but on each occasion he was met by vague or one word answers. With Bicky being at school and then going straight to basketball practice, it meant the silence in the apartment was horrible but Ryo reminded himself of the importance of giving his lover space, hoping that he would talk when he was ready but by the time they sat down for their evening meal, Ryo felt ready to scream, wanting desperately to know the reason for Dee's sudden taciturnity. He was about to ask again calmly, knowing screaming and pleading was quickly becoming a possibility before Dee uttered the words feared by lovers throughout the ages.

"Ryo, we need to talk."

The blond felt his heart lurch as he nodded numbly. Talk? Wasn't that what he'd wanted?

"Sure," he replied with clear trepidation in his voice as he laid down his cutlery and looked straight at Dee.

Dee did the same, pausing to collect his thoughts before he started to speak.

"When Polly came to see me last night, I told her how things had been since I started back at work." He looked away, knowing he was saying things that he hadn't even told his lover. "I've had several panic attacks at the precinct since I've been back, sparked by different things, all beyond my control. The one I had in the elevator that day when there was that fight wasn't the first. That was partly why I got my insulin wrong and I can't risk that happening again. Because of the nature of our job, Polly thinks I need specialist help and she's recommended that I go on a therapy programme, specifically designed for workers in the emergency services with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

He stopped speaking and looked up at Ryo, clearly wanting to know what the other thought of the psychiatrist's suggestion.

Ryo smiled, unable to prevent the sense of relief from flooding through him. "I think it's a fantastic idea, love," he said enthusiastically, reaching across and touching Dee's hand, unsure why his lover had been so reluctant to tell him.

"Only… it's for a month," he said slowly, "and… it's in England."

Ryo's eyes widened as he realised what Dee was saying.

"Polly's checked, and the precinct has agreed to fund me," Dee said, his green eyes trained upon his stunned lover. "I leave on Friday."

"_Friday_? But that's the day after tomorrow."

"I know. I was a bit shocked too."

Ryo swallowed hard, unable to think of anything he could say that wouldn't sound selfish. In the end, he just nodded, averting his eyes so Dee wouldn't see the tears that threatened.

"If you don't want me to go…" Dee started to say but Ryo shook his head firmly.

"No," he replied, finding his voice at last. "It's just a bit of a shock." He looked across at Dee and offered him a watery smile. "I'll miss you."

Dee returned the smile as he squeezed his lover's hand. "God, Ryo, I'll miss you too… but I don't see how I'll ever be able to get back to work if I don't go."

"I know," Ryo said reassuringly, "And I'd miss you even more if I didn't get to work with you."

"So you don't mind if I go?"

"Of course not," Ryo replied; the words coming out of his mouth completely at odds with his heart. A couple of days ago, things looked as if they'd been about to get back to normal and now suddenly, everything had been turned on its head yet again. "We'd better get thinking about what you need to take if you leave on Friday."

Dee nodded and managed a small smile; relieved that Ryo seemed to understand, even if he didn't particularly like it.

TBC…


	27. Killing Time

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 27 – Killing Time

Friday rolled around in no time at all, as if the intervening days were nothing more than a trick of the light. Half an hour before they were due to leave for the airport, Ryo was rushing round, anxious that they had remembered everything.

"You've got your traveller's cheques?" he called from the living room as Dee packed the last of his stuff into his hand luggage in their bedroom.

"Yes! Quit worrying."

"And the airline know you need a diabetic meal?"

"Yes!"

"And…"

"Ryo!" Dee said, leaning around the doorframe and frowning at his blond partner. "Calm down. We've checked everything several times."

"I know," Ryo replied, running a hand through his wavy hair and forcing himself to sit down. "I'm sorry, love…"

The dark haired detective smiled. "What time will Bicky be home? He's coming to the airport with us, right?"

"Yeah, and Cal too," Ryo said, glancing at his watch. "He should be home any time; I told him we had to leave at five."

"Okay. Well, my bag's packed if you can bring it out for me."

"Sure," Ryo replied, jumping up from the couch as Dee came out of the bedroom on his crutches. "So you'll be able to get your cast off while you're over there?" he asked as he picked up the rucksack and took it to the front door so it stood next to Dee's holdall.

"Yeah. The hospital has managed to arrange it for me," he said with a smile of relief. "That should make it easier for the return journey. At least I'll be able to carry my own bags."

"Better make the most of it then," Ryo chuckled as a key sounded in the lock and Bicky let himself in with Cal following behind.

"Well? Shall we get going then?" Dee said, seeing everyone present and ready to go. The three members of his unorthodox family smiled back as they nodded their agreement.

They drove to JFK airport, glad they'd set off a little early since the Friday evening rush hour traffic was as heavy as usual. When they arrived, Ryo dropped Dee, Bicky and Cal off as close to terminal seven as possible before he went off to find a parking space, returning shortly afterwards as Dee was checking in. The dark haired detective frowned at the thought of being taken onto the plane in a wheelchair but accepted that the airline wouldn't have it any other way for safety reasons. When Ryo also pointed out that he'd find it difficult to move around on his crutches with his hand luggage, Dee grudgingly conceded that a wheelchair was the most obvious solution.

They spent some time in the departure lounge, browsing the shops and playing the videogames in the arcades before Dee's flight was called. As the announcement sounded, they were all giggling like idiots having squashed themselves into the photo booth and had some photos taken. Of the four small pictures, there were two of just Dee and Ryo in the midst of a passionate kiss before Bicky and Cal had jumped in for the last two; the images showing them all pulling faces, their eyes twinkling with laughter. They'd borrowed a pair of scissors from one of the store clerks and cut the photos up so the two men had a copy of each of the photographs. On hearing the call for his flight to Heathrow, London; Dee had tucked the photos into his wallet, intending to keep them close to him the whole time he was away.

"Well," Dee said as the reached the point where non-travellers couldn't pass. "I guess this is it."

All around them, similar goodbyes were taking place; the sound of tears and laughter providing the backdrop for their own farewell. Cal was first to step forward, hugging Dee tightly before she kissed him on the cheek.

"Bye Dee," she said; her eyes shiny with tears, before she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially. "Don't worry; I'll look after them for you."

Dee smiled and nodded as she stepped back to allow Bicky access. The blond teen looked down at his shoes, suddenly feeling awkward and not sure what to do that wouldn't compromise his tough-guy status in front of Cal. He didn't get any choice however as Dee pulled him into a hug. "Take care of Ryo," he whispered into the boy's ear. "I'm trusting you to look after him while I'm gone."

As he let Bicky go, the blond nodded solemnly; feeling important that Dee had entrusted him with such a task. He rejoined Cal, who was busy wiping her tears away with the back of her hand as Ryo stepped forward, desperately trying to swallow the huge lump of emotion in his throat.

"Bye, baby," Dee said as they flung their arms around each other and remained in that tight embrace as the seconds ticked by. He could feel Ryo's breath hitching against his chest and he had to fight his own emotions from overwhelming him as they prepared to part for what felt like forever.

"I love you, Ryo," Dee said, gripping a handful of his lover's thick blond hair.

"I love you too," Ryo replied, not caring that he could feel the weight of several stares around the departure lounge. "Please ring me as soon as you get there, love."

"I will," Dee promised as they pulled apart and gazed into each other's eyes. They kissed soundly as the final call came for Dee's flight and they both reluctantly knew that it really was time to go. From behind Dee, an airport attendant emerged, pushing a wheelchair towards the man on the crutches.

"Mr Latener?" the man said as he approached. Dee nodded as he passed Ryo his crutches and lowered himself into the chair before his lover gave them back to him along with his rucksack.

"Ready to go?" the attendant asked with a smile, sensing the difficult parting from the grim expressions on the two men's faces. Dee nodded as Ryo leaned in and kissed him one more time.

"Safe journey," Ryo said, his voice tremulous as he stepped back and found Bicky and Cal putting their arms around him supportively. The simple gesture destroyed the last of his defences and he was glad that Dee was already heading towards the boarding gate so his lover didn't see the tears that rolled onto his cheeks as he hugged the youngsters, grateful for their support. It felt so alien to let him go, knowing how dependent Dee had been on him since his ordeal had begun.

They watched as Dee disappeared towards the British Airways plane on the runway before they moved silently to the one of the windows so they could witness the huge metallic bird taking off. As the jet soared into the clouds, about to separate the lovers by whole continents, Bicky looked up at Ryo's mask-like expression.

"Lunkhead'll be back before you know it," he said, his humour an attempt to alleviate his own sadness as well as his guardian's.

"Yeah," Cal said, seeing what Bicky was doing as she put her arms around Ryo's waist. "A month's nothing at all, is it?"

"No," Ryo replied, appreciating their attempts to cheer him up. "Come on; let's go and rent a movie or something. We'll get popcorn and stuff."

"Beer?" Bicky enquired as they turned to walk back to the car. "Thought not," he grumbled as he was met by a disapproving glare. "But it was worth a try."

Ryo barely slept with his bed feeling so empty. He awoke from his restless sleep on a couple of occasions during the night, feeling panicked by Dee's absence. He had to reassure himself that there wasn't a sinister reason for his lover not being there before he was able to fall back asleep; only to repeat the same process several hours later. By morning, he was so weary that he only woke when Bicky shouted through his door, the alarm clock still ringing impatiently in the background.

Breakfast had done nothing to alleviate his tiredness as he made his way slowly up the stairs to his fourth floor office. He met JJ in the corridor; the younger man grinning broadly in a way that made Ryo feel instantly suspicious, but he shook the feeling off as he pushed on the door handle and let himself to the office. He glimpsed Drake out of the corner of his eye, muttering a greeting close to 'hello' as he hung his jacket on the coat rack in the corner of the room. When he didn't get a response, he turned around to see Drake grinning at him, much like JJ, but before he could ask what was going on, his attention was drawn to his own desk, on which sat the most enormous bouquet of flowers.

His expression of surprise turned into a smile as he walked over to the arrangement, correctly anticipating who they were from before he located the card and read it.

_Dear Ryo,_

_I'm hoping you're smiling reading this, baby. The guys are under strict instruction to take good care of you while I'm away. Before you know it, I'll be back at that desk making you blush when I remind you how gorgeous you are!_

_Miss you already,_

_Yours Forever,_

_Dee__._

Ryo smiled at the familiar scrawled handwriting, trying to work out when Dee had managed to arrange this little surprise, but glad he had as his heart cheered at the sight of all his favourite blooms.

"Who'd have thought Latener was such an old romantic?" Drake said, grinning as he leaned back in his chair, his fingers laced behind his head.

Ryo looked at him and laughed, knowing the other man would undoubtedly have had something to do with it.

"Well, it's a really nice surprise," Ryo said, sitting down at his desk, his view of Drake now obscured by the flowers.

"Also," Drake said from somewhere behind the arrangement, "We're all going out tonight for a drink and you're coming too."

Ryo was about say he couldn't before he realised that Bicky was staying at a friend's place for the night and he therefore had no legitimate excuse.

"Dee says we're not to take 'no' for an answer."

"Fine," Ryo replied, holding his hands up in resignation. "I'll come out."

An hour or so later the phone started to ring. Ryo was up to his elbows in the filing cabinet so Drake leaned across the desk and grabbed hold of the receiver.

"Ryo?" he said to the person at the other end of the phone. "Sure I'll get him for you."

He turned to look at Ryo who, on hearing his name, had stopped what he was doing. "It's someone wanting to know if you'd like a subscription to the _National Enquirer_."

Ryo frowned. "Why would anyone ring me at work for that?"

Drake rolled his eyes; his suspicions confirmed that Ryo's head was somewhere else today. "I'm kidding! It's Dee, you idiot!"

Drake had a brief conversation with him while Ryo put down the files he was holding and hurried around to the phone, taking the receiver from the other man after he had wished his friend a good trip.

"Hey, love," Ryo said, smiling into the phone. "I got the flowers. They're beautiful, thank you," he said, swinging into his seat. "I guess you're there then?"

"Yeah," came the deep masculine voice, as clear as if he was only in the next room. "The flight was okay and I've just got to the hotel where the programme is being held. You'd love it, Ryo; it's really old and my room's got a great view."

"Sounds wonderful," Ryo replied, truly wishing he was there too. "What's the weather like?"

He heard Dee laugh. "I'm in England, Ryo. It's raining."

"Oh," Ryo said, recalling their own vacation during which it had rained most of their stay. "What time is it there?"

"Twenty past six in the evening so I'm just about to go and eat. Hey, and would you believe it? One of the other guys here on the programme is diabetic too. I'm sitting with him so we can moan about what they feed us."

"That's good," Ryo said; cheered by how buoyant his lover sounded. "I'm going out for a drink with the guys from work tonight. Apparently you told them not to take 'no' for an answer."

He heard Dee laugh at the other end of the phone. "No comment. But you're going right?"

"Yeah. Bicky's staying at a friend's and I don't really fancy staying in on my own."

"I'm glad you're going out; have a good time but just don't let them get you too drunk."

"I won't," Ryo said with a chuckle. "You have a good time too, love. Ring me when you can."

"I will. Love you, Ryo."

"Love you too, Dee. Speak to you soon."

He put the phone down, feeling happy that Dee had called but also melancholy as he was reminded about how far away his lover was at that moment. Despite his initial reluctance, he was glad that he was going out for the evening; he needed something to take his mind off the fact that he had another four weeks without his handsome partner.

By nine pm, Ryo was feeling suspiciously light headed. They'd gone to a couple of bars before heading onto a club called 'The Spirit Rooms'; a favourite haunt of Ted's which played current dance music as well as some older tunes. The club was packed since it was a Saturday night and the small group of detectives had been lucky to find a table, around which they were all seated as they watched people talking and dancing and generally having a good time.

The group, consisting of Ryo, Drake, Ted and JJ sat amongst the plethora of empty glasses and bottles in various states of inebriation. JJ was definitely worse for wear after consuming a range of bizarrely coloured cocktails; his body slumped over the table as his head lolled on his arms.

Ted had gone to the bar leaving Drake and Ryo in conversation when an attractive brunette stopped at their table and smiled. Seeing her, Drake's face broke into a wide grin but it quickly became clear that it wasn't him she was interested in as she positioned herself between them, facing Ryo.

"Hey," she said, angling her body to display her impressive cleavage. "I was wondering if you fancied a dance? You're definitely the best looking guy in here."

Before Ryo could respond, Drake was laughing so hard that the girl turned to look at him in confusion.

"Was I talking to you?" she huffed in annoyance. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing… just that you've got no chance. He's spoken for. Well, that and the fact that he's gay."

The woman looked shocked and then disappointed. "Figures," she said with a shrug. "Like I said, you're the best looking guy in here."

"Hey! What about me?" Drake protested as Ryo blushed. "I'm cute!"

The woman turned and looked him up and down dubiously. "Who told you that? Your mother?"

"Hey! My mother had very good taste I'll have you know!" the indignant man called after her as she stalked away back to her friends and Ryo dissolved into fits of laughter. Ted appeared shortly afterwards, frowning in confusion at whatever it was that had just taken place.

"Ryo just scored… again," Drake grumbled as he downed the last of his beer.

"And lemme guess; you just got blown out again," Ted replied, clapping Drake on the shoulder.

"I swear; you gay guys just get all the women." Drake complained.

"That's why they invented bisexualism," Ted said, sitting down and depositing drinks in front of each of them. "So Dee says anyway."

Ryo shot him a half-hearted look of annoyance, forcing Ted to backtrack quickly. "Of course, he doesn't so much as glance at women now he's got you, Ryo," he said, stumbling over his words. "You can point a pretty girl out and he'll just look the other way or cover his eyes, but that doesn't mean he's looking at guys either… I mean… oh jeez…"

"Okay, Ted. You can take your foot out of your mouth now," Drake said shaking his head before he turned to look at Ryo. "Seriously though, I've never seen Dee so settled and I've known him a long time."

"Me too," JJ said, suddenly stirring to join in with the conversation. "Did I ever tell you me and Dee were at the academy together?"

"Plenty of times," Drake replied, rolling his eyes and grinning as the other returned to his slumped position.

"You make us sound like an old married couple," Ryo said, taking a long drink from his bottle of beer.

"Well you practically are," Ted said with a laugh. "You and Dee could go on that old quiz show where you have to answer questions about each other."

"Don't be ridiculous," Ryo replied, although he was still smiling, secretly pleased that the others thought he and Dee were such a strong couple.

"Okay," Drake said, waving his hand indicating that he wanted everyone's attention. "Time to put Detective McLain to the test! How much does he know about the man known as Dee Latener?"

Ryo rolled his eyes and laughed as the other three started to formulate their questions.

"Favourite band?" Ted said suddenly.

"Red Hot Chili Peppers."

"Favourite book?"

"He doesn't have one but if you ask him, he'll say the sports pages in the newspaper," Ryo replied confidently.

Ted and Drake exchanged awed glances at the speed at which Ryo had answered their questions.

"Okay… where's Dee got scars?" Drake said with a grin, "And a bonus point if you can tell us how he got them."

"Under his jaw, left hand side from a fight as a child. Right forearm where he was glassed in a bar as a teenager. Left thigh where he was shot a couple of years ago when he was on duty."

Drake looked impressed. "Correct as far as I know."

"Dee's farts," Ted said suddenly, "Noisy or smelly?"

The assembled men laughed and groaned at the question. Ted looked indignantly the blond. "You gotta say or you lose!"

"Noisy," Ryo replied, shaking his head, unable to believe he was even giving an answer.

"Ccccccccorrect!" Ted shouted as if he were the host on a game show. "JJ?"

The drunken man's head shot up on hearing his name. "Huh? What? Oh, you want a question?" He paused for a moment as he collected his muddled thoughts. "Where's Dee got a mole?"

Ryo blushed before he gave the answer. "Left cheek."

Drake and Ted frowned, having never noticed the aforementioned mark. They were just about to protest when Ryo clarified. "Left _ass _cheek, that is."

A look of enlightenment came over the men's faces before they turned to JJ with a frown. "How'd you know?" Drake asked; his eyes wide as he wondered whether there was something Dee had neglected to mention about how well he _really_ knew JJ. He glanced around to see Ted and Ryo also waiting intently for his answer.

Under such scrutiny, JJ suddenly looked uncomfortable as he blushed heavily. "I used to watch him in the shower when we were at the academy, okay?"

Ted and Drake started to laugh; Ryo just looked relieved. "You pervert!" Drake chuckled, "Just wait 'til I tell Dee."

"Don't you dare!" JJ said looking mortified. "He'd kill me!"

His companions took several moments to compose themselves before any of them could speak again. "Okay," Drake said, wiping a tear away. "Next question. Has Dee ever had any piercings?"

"Yes," Ryo replied confidently. "He had his left ear pierced twice at the top. He tells everyone he took them out when he joined the police but actually Penguin made him take them out because she said they made him look like a criminal."

Drake looked impressed as he chuckled; making a mental note to tease Dee about that some time. "Full marks, Ryo."

Ryo smiled wryly, a wicked twinkle in his dark eyes. "You did just mean _ear_ piercings then, didn't you?"

He watched as Drake, Ted and JJ stared at him in disbelief, their eyes wide with shock. They'd seen most of their friend's body in the locker room at work and knew he didn't have his nipples pierced, leaving…

"He hasn't," JJ spluttered; his mind suddenly running riot.

"Oh. My. God," Drake muttered glancing sideways at Ted who seemed to be on the same wavelength from the expression on his face.

"I'm kidding!" Ryo grinned, holding his hands up. "You're right, JJ, he hasn't."

The other detectives looked relieved before they laughed too; amused that they'd actually believed him for a minute.

The rest of the night continued in a similar vein until it was time for them all to head home. Ted went with JJ to ensure the other man got back to his apartment safely since by that time, the younger man could barely stand on his own two feet. Drake and Ryo shared a cab until they reached Drake's apartment, all the while laughing about the things that had gone on that evening and both agreeing that they would definitely do it again. And so, despite the emptiness of his apartment when he finally made it home, Ryo drifted off to sleep with a deep sense of satisfaction knowing he and Dee had such great friends.

TBC…


	28. Payback

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 28 - Payback

Several more low-key nights out followed and before long, an entire week had passed. Dee rang everyday, keeping his lover informed of what he was up to, so when Ryo went to bed one evening in the second week without receiving the usual daily contact he couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. He eventually drifted off to sleep; his restless thoughts translating into troubled dreams that thrust him back to wakefulness with frustrating regularity. It was during one of those periods of alertness that the telephone started to ring, making Ryo jump as the shrill tones broke through the stillness. Fortunately, the handset of the cordless phone was by his bed, allowing him to answer it before it woke Bicky up too.

"Hello?" he said tentatively, glancing at the clock and seeing it was past four am. When he was greeted only by the sound of breathing, he froze; instantly feeling threatened. "Who is this?" he said sharply, not wanting to raise his voice for fear of waking the boy in the other room. "If you don't speak, then I'm going to put the phone down."

"No… wait."

Ryo frowned into the phone. "_Dee_?"

The reply was a sob, confirming to the already anxious man that it was indeed his lover on the end of the line. He turned on the bedside lamp, suddenly wanting to be out of the darkness as he listened to Dee's hitching breaths. "Dee, love? Shhhh, what's wrong?"

There was a pause as the other man tried to compose himself. "I… I want to come home, Ryo. I can't do it."

Ryo closed his eyes against the pain in his heart, knowing he wouldn't be doing his lover any favours by agreeing with him. "What's wrong, love? Tell me what's happened."

More sobs. "It's too hard, Ryo. I can't do it," he repeated, his hoarse tones telling Ryo that he'd probably been crying for sometime.

"Have you told anyone how you feel, love? Your counsellors need to know…"

"I can't tell them! They'll think I'm a fuck up."

"No they won't," Ryo said quickly, trying to keep the raw emotion from his own voice as he swept a hand through his dark blond hair. "They'll know you're hurting and they'll want to help you."

"I don't need them; I just need you, Ryo," he said, his voice breaking down again. "If I've got you then everything will be okay."

"No… no it won't," the blond replied, feeling cruel at his words but unable to let himself give his lover any false hope. He was speaking from experience and knew it had to be said. "I can't help you, Dee. I'm here for you and always will be because I love you but I can't help you fight these demons. Please… just see this programme through."

The response obviously wasn't what Dee was expecting and he was quiet for several long moments; the only sound between them were his rough, hiccupping breaths and occasional sniffs.

"Okay," he said eventually although he sounded deeply wounded. "I'll stay, for you."

"Not for me," Ryo said gently, "For _you_. Do it for yourself, Dee."

"I should go. I'm sorry I phoned you so late."

"Are you upset with me, Dee?"

The pause before he answered was enough to tell Ryo that he was. "No… You're probably right."

"Please don't hate me, Dee," the blond pleaded, feeling close to tears himself. "I just want you to get some help. I can't wait for you to come home but I know you won't be happy if you quit this programme now. I love you, Dee. Ring me any time, day or night and I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it, okay?"

"Okay," came the reply, moderately brighter than before. "I may take you up on that."

"Any time," Ryo reiterated, managing a small smile. "I'll never get tired of saying it."

Despite ending the call on a more positive note, Ryo still put the receiver down with a heavy heart. Dee was just so _needy_. In all honesty it scared him, seeing his once confident lover reduced to the man that he had just spoken to and his troubled thoughts prevented him from sleeping for the remainder of the night.

As he entered the office the next morning, at least half an hour late, Drake looked up from his files and frowned.

"Holy shit, Ryo, are you okay? You look, well… rough."

Ryo dropped his briefcase and sank into his chair. "I was having trouble sleeping anyway and then Dee rang."

"What time?" Drake asked, grinning as he leaned back in his chair and stretched.

"It was after four am."

"Damn! No wonder you're beat! What was he doing ringing then?"

"He wanted to come home."

Drake sat forward as his smiled faded, realising that all was clearly not well. "Home? Already?"

"Yeah. He was really upset. He said it was too hard and he couldn't do it any more."

"So is he coming home?"

"No. I persuaded him to stay but I don't think he liked it." Ryo frowned and covered his face with his hands. "It was horrible, Drake; I felt so cruel. I had to tell him I couldn't help him and I didn't want him to come home. He sounded so unhappy."

"Hey," Drake said gently, "You did the right thing. You can't give him the professional help he needs. He might be upset that you didn't say 'sure, get on the first plane home' but I'll guarantee he'll thank you in the long run."

"I know," Ryo sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Thanks for the vote of confidence. So what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well…" Drake began, picking up his 'to do' list as the office door opened and Rose stuck his head in.

"Ryo, I've just had word that the Patterson brothers are being sentenced in about an hour's time. You're free to go if you want. Take Drake with you."

The door then closed again before Ryo could answer. He looked across at Drake who promptly screwed up the piece of paper in his hand, tossed it in the general direction of the trash can and made to grab his coat.

"Come on," Drake said, holding the door for the other man. "Maybe you'll be able to give Dee some good news next time he calls."

The hearing went as expected; with both brothers receiving jail sentences; the older man's substantially longer for the ordeal he had inflicted on Dee as an act of revenge. The two young men looked numb as they were led away to start their period of incarceration and Ryo almost felt a flicker of pity for them; knowing that their rough upbringing probably had a lot to do with their actions. In the corridor outside the courtroom, they caught up with the DA, who smiled as he saw the two men.

"Detective McLain," Mr Browning said by way of greeting. "That was good news, wasn't it? Is your partner not here?"

"Uh no," Ryo replied, contemplating lying but decided against it in the end. The DA was a decent man who had shown great patience and understanding working with Dee before and during the trial and Ryo felt he owed him honesty at least. "He's away on a therapy programme at the moment. He didn't cope very well when he tried to come back to work."

"That's a shame," Browning said, his expression sympathetic. "It's sad to see good men go to waste but the fact that he's accepted help is a good sign. I'm sure he'll make a good recovery. Give him my best when you speak to him."

Ryo smiled gratefully. "I will and thank you."

The DA returned his smile and nodded before he set off down the corridor. After a few steps, he turned back to Ryo and Drake, his expression now serious.

"Henry Goldsmith is due for sentencing in the next few days," he said grimly. "It'll be tougher, but I'm hoping for a decent jail sentence. We've also managed to uncover a few more of his crimes, with people now willing to testify so hopefully we'll be able to bring some new charges against him and increase his overall sentence. Unfortunately, we haven't found anyone that can connect Goldsmith with what happened to you in Clearwater but we'll keep looking."

"Thank you and that's good," Ryo said, looking at Drake who nodded in agreement. "Good luck with the investigations."

The two detectives returned to the precinct to get on with other things. Rose had gone to a meeting for the day and wouldn't be back, so as soon as they had got all the necessary stuff out of the way, Drake persuaded Ryo to go home.

"You need sleep," the other man insisted, having spent the day gazing at the blond's tired features. For once, Ryo didn't try to argue otherwise and he left, heading straight home for the comforts of his bed. It ended up being an excellent suggestion as Dee rang earlier than usual and if he hadn't been home, Ryo would have missed the much needed contact. Dee sounded brighter, apologising for the previous phone call although his lover insisted he had nothing to be sorry for, and telling Ryo about some of the more positive aspects of the last twenty four hours. As a result, Ryo slept much more soundly that night.

At the beginning of the third week, Ryo received the information that Henry Goldsmith was to be sentenced for his part in conspiring to kidnap his own family. With Drake alongside for moral support, Ryo attended the hearing, anxious to know that this man in particular would pay for his crimes. Even though he wasn't directly responsible for what happened to Dee, Ryo still felt strongly that the millionaire should face justice; knowing that he had been the catalyst for the events of the last couple of months. However, throughout the drive to the courthouse, Ryo was unusually pessimistic; convinced that _something_ would prevent the course of justice from running smoothly.

"He'll get away with it, I know he will," Ryo said suddenly, breaking the silence as Drake guided the car across town. "There'll be some loophole that he'll manage to wriggle through."

"I'm sure the DA would have said something if he thought it was hopeless," Drake reasoned, trying to bolster Ryo's flagging mood. "He would have warned you if they were unlikely to get a custodial sentence. Plus, he wasn't allowed out on bail; surely that says something?"

"I hope you're right," Ryo replied. "Dee was really pleased when I told him what the Patterson brothers had got but I think he really wants to see Goldsmith go down with a substantial sentence more than anything."

They arrived at the courthouse and were waiting to go in when a familiar figure entered the corridor and strode towards them.

"Commissioner!" Ryo said in surprise as the other man approached.

Rose nodded a greeting. "I take it the hearing hasn't started yet."

"No," Ryo replied, looking past Rose as Mr Browning, the DA appeared around the corner.

The hearing started shortly afterwards with Henry Goldsmith arriving, flanked by several armed officers. To see the former celebrity millionaire in a bright orange jumpsuit of the penal institution was satisfaction in itself and Ryo couldn't help but wish that Dee was here to see it.

The two detectives and their senior watched as Judge Coburn handed down a sentence of fifteen years for the crime of conspiracy to kidnap and five years for obstructing justice. The opportunity for parole was given but Mr Browning didn't look concerned, aware that the new charges they were about to bring against him, ranging from fraud to murder, would soon wipe out any possibility of him being freed any time soon.

Goldsmith himself looked blank throughout the hearing, although as he was led away by the armed officers he suddenly came to life and  he turned and smirked at the men in the public gallery. It was hard to tell who the look was aimed at, but both Ryo and Rose interpreted it as _it's not over_.

As they left the courthouse after speaking briefly to the DA, Drake clapped Ryo on the shoulder. "Well, is it a celebration drink tonight?"

Ryo smiled but shook his head. "I think I'll stay in if you don't mind. I want to be in, in case Dee rings. He'll want to know what Goldsmith got."

Drake nodded, understanding entirely. "Give him my best. And Ryo?" he said, sensing the other's anxiety. "Don't worry about Goldsmith. That look meant shit; it's over for him."

"I hope you're right," Ryo replied as they started towards the car. Across the parking lot, he glimpsed Rose climbing into his BMW, the older man's face displaying a similarly grim expression.

Ryo had started to relax and was enjoying his quiet night in when the telephone rang. Bicky was at basketball practise and he had treated himself to a long relaxing soak in the bath before dinner. He was in the middle of cooking some pasta as he snatched up the receiver, hoping he could guess the identity of the caller.

"Hello?"

"Is that the incredibly handsome Ryo McLain?"

Ryo smiled warmly as he cradled the phone between his ear and left shoulder. "It might be. Who wants to know?"

"Oh, I dunno," Dee's velvet smooth tones replied. "Just some guy."

"I see," Ryo said, playing along as he turned off the cooker. "Is he a hot guy?"

"Might be."

"What does he look like?"

"Oooh… lemme see," Dee breathed. "Tall, slim, black hair, green eyes, large -"

"Dee!"

"Hands! What did you think I was going to say?"

Ryo laughed softly, cheered to hear Dee chuckling at the other end of the line. "Hey, love. How you doing?"

"I'm good," Dee replied, sounding like he meant it. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I have some more good news for you." He tipped the pasta onto a plate before taking it across to the table and sitting down. "Henry Goldsmith got twenty years in total for both crimes. Plus, they're almost ready to bring some new charges against him for a whole host of other crimes. The DA is confident that they have so much on him that he's likely never to see the outside world again."

"That's great," Dee said. "What about…?"

"The incident at the safe house?" Ryo said, guessing that his lover would want to know. "Nothing yet but they're still working on it."

"Well. I'm not sure I'd care if they didn't get any leads. At least we wouldn't have to go back to court. I'd hate Bicky to have to go through that. I'll just be happy if that bastard gets it for all the stuff they _can_ pin on him."

"Yeah," Ryo replied, toying with the pasta shells with his fork. "Let's just see what happens." There was a pause as he popped some of the food into his mouth. "So… what have you been up to?"

"Not much. I refereed a basketball match today. I would have preferred to have been playing but crutches make it kinda difficult. Still, only five more days and I get this damn cast off. My leg should definitely be mended by now; the cast's been on longer than they expected but I couldn't get an appointment at the hospital any sooner."

"Bet that'll be a relief," Ryo said with a smile. "I really can't wait to see you, Dee."

"Ditto," Dee replied, his own smile transmitting through the phone. "I've been thinking about you so much, baby. I can't to see you and hold you. Jesus, I can picture you now. I want you so bad."

Ryo closed his eyes and leaned back in chair, aroused by the sudden lust in his lover's voice. "I'm waiting for you, Dee," Ryo said breathlessly, unconsciously reaching up and trailing his hand across his bare chest. "I'm aching for you. I need to feel your hands on me; holding me and touching me."

He heard a low moan from the other end of the phone and smiled slightly, knowing his words were having an effect on his absent lover. They were having an effect on him too and he sighed lustfully at the growing hardness in his pants. Wanting to continue this current conversation, knowing where it was likely to lead, he stood and moved through into the bedroom, his freshly prepared meal suddenly forgotten.

In an apartment across the city, Berkley Rose snagged his trousers off the wooden floor and smiled. "Honestly, I'd love to stay, Diana," he said, turning to the blonde who allowed the bed sheets to slip, revealing a more than modest hint of her ample chest. "But I've got to check on my apartment once in a while. I haven't been back for almost a week."

Diana pouted; tousled blonde strands falling about her high cheekbones. "Fine, fine," she said waving a hand dismissively before she turned over in bed to face the other direction. "Do a runner like you usually do."

When there was no response, she turned over to see the blond man's hurt expression. "I was joking," she said, rolling her eyes and shoving him playfully.

"I know," Rose replied, "but it just reminds me what a bastard I've been to you."

"Well, you're making up for it now," she offered, sitting up and snaking an arm around his bare chest.

"I hope so," he replied in earnest, sinking back into her touch and revelling in the sensations as her fingers traced gentle patterns across his body. "Look, I tell you what. I'll go and check my apartment, pick up my mail and stuff and I'll come back later, how about that?"

A sexy smile was his reply. "I'll keep the bed warm while you're gone."

Rose let himself out of the apartment and jogged down to his car. Sliding behind the wheel of his BMW, he let his mind wander for a moment, drifting back to Diana and the events of the last couple of hours. They had eaten and talked a little before inevitably falling into bed together. Their relationship had always been deeply passionate but more recently, Rose had found himself thinking of Diana as something more than the on-off lover she always had been. She was everything he wanted and needed and as he found himself thinking about her, the word 'soulmate' crept into his consciousness. Once he would have laughed at that sentiment; unable to believe that someone could exist that was so right for a person but now it didn't seem so absurd.

He was about to turn the key in the ignition when the door was suddenly flung open and a gloved hand snatched the key from his grasp. Before he could react, the hand had hold of his hair and was using the painful grip to drag him from the car. Seeing three black clad assailants, Rose knew it was pointless to put up a fight. His men had investigated far too many murders where a carjacking victim had fought back and lost and he had no intention of becoming another statistic.

"Take the car," he growled, wincing at the pain in his scalp; the hold on his hair not lessening any, even though he was on the ground. The response was a deep bark of laughter from one of the black clad men, his face hidden by a hideous Halloween mask.

"You think this is about the _car_? Man… you're one dumb shit."

"I haven't got any money," Rose replied honestly, having left his wallet upstairs in Diana's apartment although he had a creeping suspicion that they didn't want that either.

"Fuck!" one of the men spat, turning to his companions, "This guy really _is_ stupid!" He suddenly stepped forward and brought his masked face very close to Rose's. "This is revenge, my friend," he said icily before he brought his leg back and aimed a kick at the commissioner's face. "Now we're even."

Sprawled on the floor, his nose broken, Rose tried to curl himself into a protective ball knowing there would be worse to come. After a couple of minutes under constant attack, he lost consciousness, slipping into the blessed blackness that drowned out the sickening thuds and crunches as they beat him into a bloody, broken mess on the parking lot floor.

Diana frowned at the clock, wondering whether Rose was planning on coming back or not. It had been over three hours since he'd left, and since he'd promised he'd come straight back after picking up his mail; he seemed to be taking an awfully long time. After another couple of minutes had passed, she picked up the phone and dialled his home number. It rang and rang until it went over to his answer machine, prompting her to end the call and dial his cell phone. She swore as that too went straight to his message.

Deciding that she may as well spend the time productively while she waited for him to return, she threw on some clothes and prepared to head down to her car, recalling that she had left some documents in the vehicle that she needed to look over before the morning.

As she reached the secure underground parking lot she became aware that something seemed to be going on; hearing voices talking with a sense of urgency and the sound of harried activity. Not sure whether to be worried or not, she hurried in the direction of the noise; now seeing the blue flashing lights of the emergency services bouncing off the glaring white walls. As she approached, she noticed firstly that Rose's black BMW was still in its parking space and secondly, that all the activity seemed to be concentrated around that area.

"What's going on?" she said, approaching the nearest uniformed officer, her eyes never leaving the scene in front of her.

"There's nothing to see ma'am," the cop said firmly. "Go back inside please."

"Like hell!" she snapped, groping for her ID badge, glad she'd decided to throw her jacket on after all. "My name's Diana Spacey and I'm an FBI agent. Now tell me what's going on."

The officer didn't even study her badge as his eyes went wide. Most cops at the precinct knew the commissioner's latest companion by sight and he wasn't an exception.

"M-Miss Spacey, I'm sorry I didn't recognise you. Oh God…" he said hastily, not sure how to break the news as to why they were there. "It's Commissioner Rose. He's been attacked."

Fearing as much from the pool of blood she could see next to one of the BMW's wheels, she ducked under the police cordon and ran towards the scene.

"Berkley!" she shouted, finally seeing her lover as the emergency workers prepared to lift him onto a stretcher. "Oh my God…"

Rose was barely recognisable beneath the layers of blood and bruising as she walked with the stretcher towards the open doors of the ambulance. "I'm coming too," she told the nearest paramedic as they loaded the gravely ill man into the vehicle. "Hold on Berkley," she said quietly, stroking the blood-caked hair from his face. "It's going to be okay."

The news that Commissioner Berkley Rose was fighting for his life was broken to the officers on shift on the Sunday morning. Even those that weren't due to be in work until Monday were soon informed; the message spreading like wildfire amongst the stunned law enforcement personnel. At home and nursing a large hangover after another night out when he found out, Ryo felt numbed by the news; certain that what had happened was an act of revenge and not a botched robbery as was first assumed.

By Monday, Rose's condition had stabilised but he had an extensive list of injuries and still hadn't shown any signs of regaining consciousness. With injuries so severe, the precinct was investigating an attempted murder but there was little in the way of leads, despite the apartment complex having security cameras in the parking lot. The men were masked and owning to the late hour, there were no witnesses that had seen the attackers either arriving or leaving. Few doubted that Henry Goldsmith was somehow behind the crime but there was no way of linking him to it, especially with him securely behind bars.

Diana maintained a constant vigil at Rose's bedside as the days turned into a week. His broken bones were mending but he was in a coma; with the doctors unsure whether he had sustained any permanent brain injury as a result of the vicious attack. They also couldn't give the devastated woman any indication of when he might wake up, if he would wake at all, leaving her with the prospect of endless days and nights at his bedside, willing him to return to her.

TBC…


	29. Worth Waiting For

**Author's note: Quite a large revision to this chapter to comply with the no NC-17 rule. The full uncut shower scene can be found at other fanfiction sites.**

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 29 – Worth Waiting For

"I can't believe he's back tomorrow," Drake said, shaking his head at the news that Ryo wouldn't be in work the day after because he was due to pick Dee up at the airport.

"I know," Ryo said, smiling broadly. "I can't wait to see him. It feels like he's been gone for ages…"

"He's rung you every day," Drake laughed as Ryo blushed.

"Yeah well, I've missed him," Ryo replied, folding his arms across his chest in mock indignation.

Drake chuckled but it was easy to see from the sparkle in his colleague's eyes that he was telling the truth. Ryo had thrown himself into work while Dee was away but it was clear to see that the man was pining for his beloved partner no matter how much they tried to take his mind off things. There'd been plenty of nights out and Drake knew Bicky and Cal had tried to do the same but it seemed like nothing would make the blond detective truly happy until Dee was back home.

"Thanks for everything, Drake," Ryo suddenly said, as if he had read the other man's thoughts. "I really appreciate you all looking after me; I'm sorry if I've been a bit miserable at times."

"Don't mention it and you haven't," Drake replied, answering both comments with a smile. "I know it's been hard on you too after everything that's happened. It's easy for everyone to turn their attention to Dee but you've been through the mill too, and I know it was tough to just let him go like that."

Ryo smiled gratefully. "I know we're really lucky to have such great friends. I don't know what we'd have done without you all."

"Even JJ?" Drake chuckled.

"Even JJ," Ryo said with a nod.

After a moment of silence Drake said, "Have you told Dee about Rose?"

"No," Ryo replied with a shake of the head. "I didn't want to worry him. I was hoping there may have been some improvement in his condition by the time Dee was home but I guess I'll have to tell him. I just hope this just doesn't set him back any."

The final twenty four hours before Ryo was due to pick Dee up seemed almost as long as the entire month they'd been apart. Dee _had_ rung daily, keeping Ryo up to date with what he was up to. Aside from the therapy programme, he'd had the opportunity to see the sights; visiting some of England's most historic locations, which he told his lover about, promising that he had taken plenty of photographs to show him when he got back. For the most part, he had sounded happy and settled. There had only been one more occasion when he had called, sounding close to tears after another particularly traumatic therapy session and wanting to come home. Despite his own pain at hearing his lover's distress, Ryo had gently talked him around again, convincing him to see the programme through and reminding him that he was doing it because he desperately wanted to keep working as a detective. For almost the last two weeks however, his outlook had remained positive, allowing Ryo to hope that their separation had been worth the heartache.

"Bicky!" Ryo called from the living room as he tapped his foot impatiently, coat and car keys in hand. "Come on! We don't want Dee to arrive and us not be waiting for him."

"I'm here!" Bicky answered, hurrying from his room as he pulled his baseball cap on over his unruly blond hair. Seeing the boy he considered a son, Ryo had to smile. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a slogan across the front that read '_Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over_', however it wasn't so much the caption that amused him; more so that he knew Dee had once told Bicky that he thought it was a cool t-shirt. He didn't say anything, but secretly he was pleased that Bicky had obviously put thought into what he had decided to wear, knowing Dee would approve. He knew the boy had missed Dee too even though he hardly ever said as much.

At the airport, Bicky darted back and forth, trying to see Dee amongst the steady stream of arrivals. The British Airways flight from Heathrow had landed some twenty minutes earlier and the first passengers had started to appear having collected their luggage from the carousels before emerging to search for their rides home. Another five minutes had passed before Bicky suddenly jumped up and shouted, "He's there! I can see him!"

Ryo turned, following Bicky's gaze until his eyes lit on a figure and he smiled. Dee had just emerged from the passenger's only area and he was stood, looking for his lover amongst the crowds, his holdall resting at his feet. His rucksack was over one shoulder and in his other hand he held a slim walking stick; obviously needed to aid his movements now that his plaster cast and crutches were gone. Ryo could feel himself beaming at the sight before him; now with visual conformation that the trip had done Dee the world of good.

His lover had definitely regained some much needed weight as his face was slightly fuller and features less gaunt. Despite reporting plenty of rain, he had obviously caught the sun at some point as his skin was a healthy burnished brown. His hair looked slightly shorter, having been cut while he was away, although it still fell about his deep green eyes in a way that merely enhanced his attractiveness. He was dressed casually in faded blue denims, trainers and a black, slim fitting t-shirt with red trim around the neck and sleeves. He looked happy and relaxed.

While taking in his lover's healthy appearance, Ryo couldn't help but notice a large group of girls stood not far away from Dee, clearly thinking similar things to the blond detective as they studied the handsome man. Ryo's heart swelled with pride as he watched them point Dee out to each other; obviously smitten by his good looks. The group were clearly trying to convince one of their number to go over and talk to him. Unable to resist any longer, Ryo set off moving, almost running through the crowds to reach the man that owned his heart so completely. At the last moment, Dee saw him approaching and his face broke into a wide grin as he opened his arms, waiting to receive his equally gorgeous lover.

Across the room, the group of girls watched as the attractive blond hurried towards the dark haired man they had noticed earlier and embraced him tightly. The passionate kiss that followed left them in no doubt as to the men's relationship and they turned away, disappointed and clearly no longer interested now that they had confirmation of the handsome passenger's sexual orientation.

"Oh wow, you look great!" Ryo breathed, holding Dee's face in his hands and studying it intently. "God… you're so _beautiful_!"

Dee laughed at Ryo's expression; his dark eyes wide as if he'd never seen anything so fantastic in his life. "Easy tiger," he chuckled, his arms draped around Ryo's neck. "Don't make security have to hose you down!"

"I can't help it," Ryo grinned; his smile almost splitting his face in two. "I just can't believe you're finally back!"

They were hugging each other again when a voice floated from behind the blond detective. "Ryo, for God's sake put the man down!"

Hearing the familiar voice, Dee opened his eyes as his head rested on Ryo's shoulder.

"Hey Squirt," he said, grinning at the frowning teenager. "Cool t-shirt."

Bicky attempted to look nonchalant at the comment but it was clear he was pleased that Dee had noticed his specially chosen clothing.

"Shall we go then?" Ryo said, finally letting Dee go and moving to pick up his lover's holdall.

"Sure," Dee replied, pushing a hand through his hair, his heavy white gold bracelet jangling at the movement. "I can't wait to get home."

The three set off walking together through the airport terminal, their pace leisurely as Dee used his stick to bear most of his weight.

"How's your leg?" Ryo asked, noticing the other man's fairly pronounced limp.

"It's okay," Dee replied with a smile. "I've only just had the cast off so the muscles are still pretty weak, but the doctor said it should be okay with a bit of physical therapy."

"That's good," Ryo said, reaching for Dee's hand and giving it a squeeze. Bicky saw the action and rolled his eyes.

"Oh jeez; are you two planning on being all lovey dovey this evening? If you are then you can drop me off at Cal's and we'll go to the movies or something." As he looked away, Dee took the opportunity to nod and wink at his lover; indicating that he thought Bicky going out for the evening was a very good idea.

"Er sure…" Ryo said, blushing slightly at the product of his own imagination. "I'll shout you and Cal a movie and a pizza. How does that sound?"

"Much better than watching you two making kissey-faces at each other all night," Bicky replied with a frown.

As they filed out of the building, Ryo had to smile at the sound of Dee chuckling behind him.

Later on, the two men sat alone on their balcony watching as the sun set over the city they both loved. True to his word, Bicky had gone out, calling a little later to say he would be staying over at Cal's after they had watched the movie instead of coming home. He claimed that he just wanted to save Cal's aunt the hassle of bringing him home but in reality, Ryo knew that the boy probably just wanted to give them a little time alone together, for which he was extremely grateful.

It had given them opportunity to talk about everything that had happened. Ryo told Dee about Rose, the other man listening quietly, processing the news with a sense of calm acceptance. He explained that Rose had been expecting as much; once commenting that Goldsmith was a vengeful man and admitting that, as an old friend, he was in danger of reprisals.

Dee spoke in length about the programme of therapy he had been through and how he now felt able to cope with his job and life in general. Ryo listened intently; noting how confident and relaxed his lover seemed as he talked eloquently about his feelings. His experiences over the last couple of months seemed to have tempered some of his brashness but it had been replaced with a sense of calm self-belief that Ryo was irresistibly attracted to.

The evening had a sense of celebration about it and Ryo had prepared accordingly. Going inside to fetch the bottle of champagne he had bought specially for the occasion, he left Dee outside, watching the city lights twinkling below as he sat, his bare feet resting on the railings.

"I can't believe it's your cousin's wedding tomorrow," Dee said loudly, to ensure the comment reached Ryo inside the apartment.

"Me neither," came the reply. "It seems like a matter of minutes since my aunt rang to say Carrie was getting married. I've booked the hotel for us; it should be a really good day."

Dee frowned suddenly at a thought that had just occurred to him. "Hey, Ryo? Your aunt knows about us, right?"

"Yeah. She thinks you're very handsome."

 Dee was chuckling in reply when he heard the unfamiliar sound of his lover cursing before he growled, "Damn you, Bicky!"

"What's up?" Dee called out, lighting a cigarette and drawing on it contentedly before he reached for his glass and drained the last of his wine. A shadow fell over him and he looked up, almost choking on the liquid at the sight before him.

Ryo, his handsome face pulled into a deep frown, stood in the doorway, his head and upper body covered in what appeared to be mayonnaise.

"Shit, what happened to you?" Dee asked; his eyes wide as he tried to stifle his laughter.

"I'd put the bottle of champagne I'd bought at the back of the cupboard but Bicky must have put that huge jar of mayonnaise back in front of it. I knocked it over as I reached for the champagne."

"Obviously the lid wasn't on properly."

"Obviously," Ryo replied, looking faintly annoyed. "Anyway, I'll just go and get a shower. I'll be right back."

"Kay," Dee chuckled, wishing he had his camera with him. After a few moments he heard the sound of water starting up and his mind immediately conjured up the image of his gorgeous lover stepping into the shower. The sudden stirring in his groin told him that he wanted to see that image for real and so he stood, taking up his cane and made his way inside.

Fortunately Ryo hadn't locked the bathroom door, allowing Dee to slip into the room and sit down on the toilet seat as he studied the figure on the other side of the steamed up shower screen. The dark haired man smiled as his lover started to hum softly; the tune one that Ryo said he always thought of when he was happy. He watched as he ran his hands through his dark blond hair, rinsing them of all traces of the mayonnaise before he started to soap his muscular body, leaving Dee unable to stay quiet any longer.

"Need a hand?" he asked innocently, smiling as Ryo jumped at the sound of his voice.

The blond head appeared around the shower screen, drenched locks hanging in his dark eyes. "There are laws against Peeping Toms, Detective Latener," he said seriously, flicking water at the seated man.

"Yeah?" Dee said, standing slowly and discarding his cane. "Care to remind me what they are?"

Ryo's eyes widened as Dee walked towards him, ignoring the ache in his recovering limb as he shortened the distance between them. "What are you…?" he started to say as Dee, still fully clothed, climbed over the side of the bath and joined him under the needling spray.

"Dee, you're crazy," Ryo laughed as his lover pressed his body against his naked form before any further comments were smothered by a deep, soul-searching kiss. He brought his hands up, pushing Dee's now wet hair away from his intense green eyes. "I love you so much," he breathed, studying the handsome face before him.

"I love you too, Ryo McLain," Dee replied, allowing his hands to stray down the muscular planes of the blond man's back, the moist skin smooth beneath his fingers. They gazed at each other for a moment, silently communicating their love and devotion as the warm spray rained down upon them, before their tender passions suddenly gave way to something more animalistic; a desire borne of need and prolonged separation. Gripping the soaking cloth of Dee's t-shirt, Ryo yanked it off over the other man's head and tossed it over the top of the shower screen before frantically going to work on the fastenings on his lover's jeans.

As Ryo divested him of his clothing, Dee kissed and caressed the naked flesh, his mouth and hands roaming over territory not explored for far too long. A moan of pleasure escaped Ryo's lips as he threw back his head, allowing Dee access to the sensitive flesh of his neck; his enjoyment temporarily distracting him from the battle against the other man's lower clothing. He was brought to his senses as his back touched the tiled wall behind him and he hissed at the sudden coldness on his skin. Dee looked at him, an almost feral smile crossing his lips before he continued to ravish the blond beneath the heated waterfall.

Eventually Ryo succeeded in unfastening Dee's jeans, his attention then turning to getting them off his legs as quickly as possible. Careful not to unbalance the man stood unsteadily on one weakened leg, Ryo helped bear his lover's weight as he stepped out of the sodden jeans, swiftly followed by his equally saturated boxer shorts. When Dee bent down to pick up his drenched clothing, Ryo's eyes were instantly drawn to the muscular back where he saw something that Dee had obviously acquired during his month in England.

"When did you get that?" he asked, bending slightly and running his hand over the hardened shoulder blade.

Dee looked up from his work and smiled. "You like it?"

"Yeah," Ryo replied as he studied the three Katakana symbols tattooed in black ink that made up his own Japanese name.

"I was missing you," Dee explained with a shrug, his hands never ceasing their gentle caresses. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Well I love it," Ryo replied as he pushed long wet strands of hair off Dee's upturned face, marvelling at the beauty of his well-defined features. "It's very sexy."

They reaffirmed their relationship under the needling spray, letting themselves go without fear of being overheard. Once they were clean, they shut off the shower and reached for a couple of towels that had thankfully survived the soaking that the rest of the bathroom had received.

"Oh God," Ryo said, surveying the damage, his dark eyes wide. "This is going to take forever to clean up."

Dee followed his gaze around the room and chuckled as he came to stand behind him. "You're right but let's leave it 'til later. Didn't you say there was champagne or something?" He slid his arm around the other man's waist, and dropped several delicate kisses in amongst the baby fine hairs on the back of Ryo's neck.

Smiling and shuddering from the touch, Ryo turned and met Dee's lips with his own. After several moments he broke away, the bathroom suddenly the last thing on his mind. "Later it is then," he said as he trailed a finger down Dee's cheek and across his lips, letting his hand linger to allow the dark haired man to suck gently on the digit, his green eyes blazing with desire.

TBC…


	30. We Are Gathered Here Today

**Author's note: Just a couple of minor revisions this chapter.**

**Crash and Burn**

Chapter 30 – We Are Gathered Here Today

It was a while before they actually made it out of the bathroom to the bottle of champagne, which they each drank a glass of before heading for bed.  The mess in the bathroom became nothing more than a distant memory until the following morning, when Bicky's voice floated in through the bedroom door.

"Uh, Ryo? I think the bathroom's flooded. You might wanna come and take a look. You're gonna go mad; everything's soaked."

Ryo's head shot up from the pillow, wondering why Bicky was back and then recalling that he'd asked the boy to get home early since they had such a busy day ahead. His eyes widened as he realised they'd forgotten all about the mess they'd left behind and he hastily tried to think of good reason that would explain why their bathroom looked like it had been under several inches of water for the last twelve hours.

"Um… er… it's okay, Bicky," he called back, knowing the boy would be waiting for an answer. "The faucet was leaking but I fixed it last night. I just didn't get round to cleaning up the water."

"Oh… okay," he heard Bicky say dubiously before his footsteps faded away.  The ensuing silence was quickly replaced by the sound of Dee sniggering into his pillow.

"Shut up you," Ryo said, swatting the back of his head with his hand. "It's your fault I had to lie so the least you could do is back me up."

"Sure thing," the other man replied, propping himself up on his elbows and grinning. "I just hope he doesn't realise that you don't actually own any tools to fix a leaking faucet."

Ryo contemplated this for a moment, mentally cursing that he hadn't thought of a more plausible excuse.

"Relax," Dee yawned, sinking back into the pillow and attempting to drag the other man with him. "He's probably done worse with Cal."

"Dee!"

"I meant in a water fight or something," the dark haired man replied innocently.

Ryo shot him a sceptical look, his arms folded across his chest crossly. Dee saw the look and the body language and rose to the challenge as he sat up and moved to straddle his lover, smirking down at the blond man, determined to get him to capitulate and smile.

Almost two hours later, Ryo dropped the last of the bags by the front door.

"Okay," he said, turning back to the people assembled in his living room. "Are you all sure you've got everything?"

Dee, Bicky and Cal exchanged glances before furnishing the blond detective with simultaneous nods.

"Positive?"

"Ryo, we're not idiots," Dee said in annoyance, "Well, with the exception of Bicky perhaps."

The dark haired man successfully avoided a swipe from the teen as Ryo opened the door and grabbed as much of the luggage as he could manage. They carried it down to the car together; Bicky grumbling because Dee was given the lightest bag since he needed to keep his other hand free for his cane. Once their bags were loaded into the trunk of Ryo's car, they set off, Dee in the front next to Ryo with the directions to their hotel that was situated only a block from the church Carrie was due to get married at later that day.

The two hour drive passed quickly; the glorious weather and relatively light traffic complementing the good atmosphere inside the car. When they reached the hotel, Dee checked them in as Ryo called Elena to let them know they'd arrived safely. His aunt sounded both excited and nervous as she relayed what everyone was doing and how they were feeling as the minutes counted down. The wedding service was at two o'clock, giving Ryo and Dee chance to relax out in the hotel gardens as Bicky and Cal went off to investigate the nearby arcades.

"Just make sure you're back in an hour," Ryo instructed as he waved them off. Once they'd gone, he turned to look at Dee, smiling at the sight of his lover basking in the sunshine, fingers laced behind his head, face tilted upwards.

"Happy?" he said, unsure where Dee was looking with his beautiful green eyes hidden behind dark glasses.

"Very," came the reply, accompanied by the wide roguish smile that Ryo adored.

They ordered drinks and a light meal, talking and laughing and just watching people coming and going. As Dee excused himself to go to the bathroom, Ryo used the quiet moment to reflect on what a long way they'd come from the unhappy existence they had occupied for the last couple of months. He was infinitely proud of Dee and everything that his lover had come through, despite a couple of setbacks along the way. He was still immersed in warm thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see Dee had returned.

"What you thinking about?" the other man asked as plonked back into his seat.

"You actually," Ryo replied with a smile. "How wonderful you are and how much I love you."

Dee grinned. "Well the feeling's entirely mutual, I can assure you." He reached across and took hold of Ryo's hand, caressing the smooth skin gently with his thumb as they gazed at each other lovingly.

The hour passed quickly and when Bicky and Cal returned, they all retired to their rooms to start getting ready. With a little persuasion, Ryo had agreed to let Bicky and Cal share a room although it was he and Dee that were behaving more like teenagers once they were alone together. As a result, the two teens were ready and had been waiting a good five minutes before Dee and Ryo emerged from their room, both dressed in similar coloured suits.

"Where've you been?" Bicky grumbled, rolling his eyes as he tugged at the collar of his smart shirt. "We've been waiting for ages."

"Sorry," Ryo replied, blushing slightly, "Dee took longer in the bathroom than I thought."

"Hey!" Dee protested, about to explain that he wouldn't have taken so long if Ryo hadn't pounced on him the moment he stepped out of the shower, before an elbow connected squarely with his ribs. "Uh yeah…" he said in the end, glancing at his lover and noting the twinkle of amusement in his eyes. "My fault entirely."

They arrived at the church at quarter to two, parking and heading to where the other wedding guests were standing around chatting. There were quite a lot of people that even Ryo didn't know; leading to the assumption they must be either friends of the couple or members of Carrie's fiancé's family. They smiled and nodded a greeting at some of the people Ryo did recognise before they were asked to go inside as the start of the service drew near.

"Well, I guess I'm officially 'out'," Ryo whispered to his partner as he caught a woman he recognised as a distant cousin looking his way as they settled into their seats.

"Are you bothered?" Dee asked as he laid his cane at his feet, concerned that his lover's day would be ruined by gossipy relatives.

"No," Ryo replied with a genuine smile. "Should I be?"

"Guess not," Dee grinned back.

Any further conversation was forgotten as the organ music started up and the congregation stood to await the entrance of the bride. Craning around, they soon caught sight of Carrie, making her way up the central aisle on her father's arm, smiling happily at the many faces turned her way.

"Doesn't she look gorgeous, Dee?" Ryo whispered, seeing Dee, Bicky and Cal all gazing at his cousin and smiling. Dee nodded as Ryo caught Carrie's eye and she gave him a little wave.

The wedding service was beautiful as they sang hymns and listened to the readings before Carrie and her fiancé Brad made their vows to each other. As the powerful words were spoken, Ryo felt Dee reach across and give his hand a quick squeeze. He smiled at his lover before he noticed that Bicky was looking at Cal with a similarly contented expression, letting slip his usual mask of teenage brashness to display his obvious feelings for the pretty girl by his side. Ryo also noted how happy Dee seemed to be by being in church. He knew the importance of religion in his lover's life but the reverence on the dark haired man's face as they uttered the words of _The Lord's Prayer_ made him realise just how significant his faith was. Ryo smiled, touched that he saw facets of Dee's personality that others probably didn't think existed when they failed to look beyond his brassy exterior.

When the service was over, everyone moved outside for the photographs. As the photographer went about setting up his equipment and checking out the best locations, Carrie took the opportunity to hurry over, having seen her beloved cousin hovering at the back of the large collection of guests. As she approached, Ryo smiled and held out his hands for hers.

"You look wonderful, Carrie," he said, drawing her in for a kiss. "Really beautiful."

"Ran, you'll make me blush," she said with a shy smile that reminded Dee of Ryo almost straight away. "I have to say, you're looking pretty special yourself."

Ryo chuckled as he turned slightly to the man at his side. "Carrie, this is Dee, my partner. Dee, this is Carrie, my cousin although I guess she's more like my little sister."

Dee smiled and kissed her politely. "Hi Carrie and congratulations. Ryo's right; you look beautiful."

"Thank you. It's really good to meet you and if anyone was right then it's my mother," she said winking at Ryo and leaning in conspiratorially. "He's _gorgeous_!"

Ryo smiled proudly as Dee cleared his throat, looking uncharacteristically embarrassed by the compliment. Not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable, knowing what he had been through recently, Carrie smiled and touched his arm affectionately. "No really, Dee. It _is_ great to meet you. You make a really nice couple and it's great to see Ran so happy."

Dee grinned at his lover, instantly liking the young woman that was so at ease with their relationship. Carrie then noticed Bicky, stood off to Dee's left and her eyes widened at the changes in the boy she had met once or twice in the past.

"Hey Ran," she said jokingly, "I thought Bicky was coming with you but instead you've brought this handsome young man."

The small group laughed as Bicky blushed furiously. "Hey Carrie," he said, staring down at his shoes. "Congratulations." His awkwardness was deflected as Ryo introduced his cousin to Cal, who immediately gushed about how beautiful a bride she was.

"You're going to hear that a lot today," Ryo chuckled as they became aware of someone calling Carrie's name. She turned to see her new husband beckoning her over; the photographer now ready to start taking pictures.

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys later," she said with a smile. She started to walk away, before she paused as something occurred to her. "Oh and Ran? When the photographer asks for the bride's family, I want you all in the pictures. No arguments, okay?"

Ryo nodded his agreement, relieved that Carrie had thought to clarify what could be a potentially awkward situation. When she had gone, he turned back to his partner to see Dee smiling as he watched Carrie walk away.

"She's great," Dee said, knowing Ryo would want to know what he thought. "She reminds me a lot of you."

"You think?" Ryo asked. "I'm guessing that's a good thing, right?"

"Of course."

As Carrie had requested, the two men and two teens appeared on the family photos. There were a few raised eyebrows and a few hushed inquiries as to who the men were from those that didn't recognise them from the media circus of the last few months. Many watched the limping dark haired man smile warmly at the blond at his side, making their own judgments from the looks and subtle touches they exchanged. For the most part, Ryo genuinely didn't notice, but the few times that he did, he just reminded himself how lucky he was to have Dee at all after everything the other man had been through. That simple reminder was enough to keep away any embarrassment he was tempted to feel when he knew people were staring at them.

Later on, as they sat in the gardens of the country club where the reception was being held, Ryo took the opportunity to ask his lover something that had occurred to him during the church service. They were alone; Bicky and Cal having long since disappeared with some of Carrie's similar aged relatives.

"Dee?" Ryo said suddenly, breaking the contented silence that had settled as they gazed out onto their beautiful surroundings. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," the other man replied with an easy smile. "Ask away."

Ryo didn't speak for a moment as he tried to compose what he wanted to say without it sounding critical. "I know you attended church because of where you were raised but… well, I don't understand how you can be religious when it's a sin to be homosexual." He looked up from where he was twisting the stem of his wine glass, brown eyes meeting green. "I remember when I first met Penguin, she told me it didn't matter whether it was two men or two women but if two people needed each other then it wasn't bad or wrong but still..."

"Yeah," Dee said with a smile. "She was always good like that but I understand what you're saying. It took me a long time to admit to her that I was attracted to boys as well as girls." He paused and chuckled at the recollection. "I thought she'd have me saying 'Hail Marys' until I was old and grey just for thinking such things but she was great about it. She told me there were lots of different ways to interpret the teachings of the Bible but so long as I understood the fundamental issues like 'doing unto others' and trying to be a good and honest human being then God wouldn't be angry with me for who I chose to love. Besides, it's from the English translation of the Bible that people have decided homosexuality is such a sin. Penguin says the Hebrew and Greek versions don't necessarily read the same way. If a partnership demonstrates mutual love and compassion then it will be blessed by God," he said finally, quoting the nun that had raised him.  It was a phrase she had used to reassure him when he was troubled by the potential consequences of his own instinctive desires. He spoke with such certainty that Ryo had to smile.

"You've got it all straight, haven't you?"

"'Bout the only part of me that _is_ straight!" Dee laughed before he reached across and gave Ryo's hand a quick squeeze. "There'll always be people, religious or otherwise who'll think what we have is wrong but that's just the way of the world. If _we're_ happy then what does it matter?"

"It doesn't matter," Ryo replied, smiling happily. "I'll never regret loving you, Dee."

"Me neither," Dee said gently, his green eyes twinkling with sincerity as his watch bleeped, the alarm set to remind him about his insulin. "I'll be back in a minute," he said, putting down his drink and taking up his cane. He went to the main desk at the entrance to the country club and retrieved the small leather zip up bag that Ryo had handed in earlier that morning. The evening reception was in full swing and he smiled at the sight of everyone dancing as he passed, looking for a quiet room to administer his medication. The preparation of his insulin was beginning to feel more routine and his mind stayed firmly on Ryo as he loaded the syringe after checking his blood sugar levels.

Their bond was so strong but there was just something more that he wanted to give. He had wanted to give it several months back but the circumstances had been all wrong. Now, as he glanced through the partially open door and saw Carrie and her new husband dancing cheek to cheek, smiling lovingly at each other, he knew that the time was now right, providing of course the offer was still open. As he was tucking his shirt back in, he saw a familiar streak of blond pass by the door. Calling the boy's name he waited several moments until Bicky's head appeared around the doorframe.

"Hey lunkhead, Bicky said in greeting, wondering why Dee was in an empty room by himself. "Watcha doin?"

"Drugs, the usual," he replied with a smile, showing the boy his insulin case. "Come here, I want to talk to you about something."

Bicky frowned in curiosity but did as Dee had asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down opposite the dark haired man. "What's going on?" he said suspiciously.

"You're not in trouble," Dee assured, reading the other's mind. "I just want to ask you something."

Ten minutes later, Dee returned to the gardens to find Ryo where he had left him. The blond looked around as he heard him approaching. "Is everything okay? You were gone a while…"

"Yeah, fine," Dee replied with a dismissive wave of the hand as he sat back down in his chair. "I just got to talking, that's all."

"Oh," Ryo said with a relieved smile. "I was getting a little worried."

Dee returned the smile, warmed by the knowledge that his lover cared so much. "Well, there's no need to worry," he said before his face did a contortion as a sense of nervousness overcame him. "Uh, Ryo? Since we're on the deep and meaningfuls, there was something I wanted to ask you."

Ryo noticed Dee's sudden awkwardness and put down his glass to look straight at the other man. Several times, Dee opened his mouth to say something and stopped, frowning as if the words wouldn't come. As he wrung his hands together nervously, Ryo would have laughed if he hadn't looked so troubled.

"Dee…" he started to say before the other held up his hand to stop him. He watched as the green eyed man took a deep breath before reaching across and taking one of Ryo's hands in his.

"What I er… want to say is… well… a few months ago you asked me something… and I said no. Well er… you see, the thing is, that I, well, I want to say yes," he paused and breathed again. "I _wanted _to say yes back then but... well it doesn't matter now, so what I'm trying to say is... well I want to say yes now, if of course the offer is still open, that is…" When he stopped, he rolled his eyes. "Jeez, Dee, that was real smooth."

Ryo however was paying no attention to his lover's bout of self castigation. All he'd heard was the first message, mixed up in the ramblings of a nervous man.

"Dee, are you…?"

"Asking you to ask me to marry you again?" Dee said, pausing to check that the last part had made sense. "Yes, I am."

Ryo looked blank for a moment as the words sunk in.

"I- I'll understand if you don't want to," Dee said quickly, letting go of Ryo's hand and sitting back. "I mean; I know I turned you down before…"

"Dee," Ryo said shaking his head, cutting into the other's response. "Shut up."

Green eyes went wide as Ryo slipped off his seat onto one knee, a broad grin splitting his handsome features as he took Dee's hand. "Dee Latener, will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

Dee grinned back. "I'd love to," he replied, bending forward and planting a kiss on his lover's smiling lips. "Nothing in this world would give me more pleasure."

Ryo closed his eyes, enveloped by a powerful feeling of elation. "I love you so much, Dee," he whispered.

"I love you too," Dee replied, gazing into his lover's eyes as they opened to look at him.

As Ryo retook his seat, a thought suddenly occurred to him and he looked anxious. "Hell… I never said anything to Bicky. I hope he'll be okay about this."

"He was ten minutes ago," Dee replied before reaching for his wine and taking a sip. As he swallowed the pleasant tasting liquid, he saw Ryo was waiting for him to elaborate on the comment. "I saw him before and talked to him. I told him we wouldn't do anything if he was unhappy about it."

Ryo looked relieved and then guilty. "I should have spoken to him," he said.  "It shouldn't have been up to you to say anything, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Dee replied, "I told him he had to like it or I'd tell all his friends he still slept with a teddy bear."

"Dee!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! No seriously, he was cool about it. At first he didn't believe that we could get married but when I explained that we could, he said it was fine by him."

Ryo relaxed at the information and was about to say something when his attention was drawn by his Aunt Elena approaching. She smiled broadly at the two men as she came to sit across from them.

"Not coming dancing?" she enquired, kicking off her shoes and giving her tired feet a rest.

Dee waved his cane. "I'm afraid my dancing's a bit limited at the moment," he chuckled.

"Ah well," she said, "It's certainly a beautiful night to sit out here. Have you both had a good day?"

"It's been fantastic," Ryo replied as Dee nodded his agreement. "A wonderful day."

"It's been really good to see you again, Ryo, and meet you, Dee," Elena said, fixing them both with a warm smile. "In fact, we'd love you to come and visit us properly after the wedding. You could even stay a few days if you like."

Ryo looked across at Dee. "We'd love to come and visit you," he said, still beaming. "We'll let you know when we're free as we're going to be a little busy soon."

Elena raised an eyebrow, sensing something being silently communicated between the two men. "Busy? Meaning…?"

"Meaning…" Ryo said, taking a deep breath as he prepared to make his aunt the first person they had told about their good news. "Dee and I have decided to get married, so I guess we'll be busy because we've got a wedding to organise!"

They were both quickly enveloped in hugs of congratulations by the blonde woman; overjoyed to see that her nephew had clearly found the happiness that he and his handsome partner so richly deserved.

"That's wonderful!" she gushed, thrilled for them both. "You just say when, and we'll be there. Is it okay if I go and tell Carrie?"

"Go ahead," Ryo replied, knowing that his cousin would be similarly pleased for them. The two men watched as Elena dashed back towards the building, her shoes dangling from her hand. They both estimated that they had a matter of minutes before the bride emerged, wanting to offer her congratulations, just like her mother had done.

"Well," Dee said, raising his glass and gesturing for his lover to do the same. "To us and our wedding!"

"Us and our wedding," Ryo repeated, clinking glasses before they simultaneously took a sip.  Neither could remove their broad smiles of happiness, contemplating the union that was sure to set the seal on the lifetime bond of love and devotion that they had for each other.

End.

On to the epilogue…


	31. Epilogue

**Author's note: Well, this is the end. Thank you for all the kind words I've received about this story. I am truly in your debt. I really, really hope you love the epilogue and feel it has rounded off the story for you all. The inspiration and words for the service were taken from several sources including genuine same sex ceremonies and indeed, my own wedding. I hope I've given the guys a day to remember. N.B There are some revisions at the end of this chapter. The uncut scene can be found at other fanfiction sites.**

**My gratitude goes out to Peacewish, who has picked up my errors time and time again and people like Dyna and Shuichi-san who keep me sane when I've tied myself in knots.**

**Next to be posted is 'Crash and Burn: So Far Away' the side story of Dee's trip to England and then 'Somewhere in Between'; the sequel to 'Crash' that, from what I've written already, looks set to give our boys another healthy dose of angst!**

**Well, I think that's all, so all that's left for me to say is, enjoy the wedding!**

**Crash and Burn**

Epilogue

The morning of Saturday the fourteenth of September dawned clear and bright, a good omen for the events that were about to follow. The onset of fall had heralded the usual changes; the leaves had started to brown, some already detached from their branches thanks to the persistent wind, but today the air was still, bringing with it a sense of calm that was at odds with the atmosphere inside one particular dwelling in New York city.

In the apartment rented by Detective Drake Parker, the serenity of the weather had clearly stopped at the front door. As he stood in the mirror, trying to tie his tie, the man in question frowned at the reflection in the glass, past his own image to the man wearing a hole in the carpet behind him.

"For God's sake, Dee, stop pacing will you? You're creating a draught."

Bright green eyes shot up to meet him before a mumbled apology followed. He didn't stop pacing however.

Rolling his eyes, Drake turned from the mirror to look at the man in the armchair. "JJ, go and get him a drink or something," he said, pulling his tie into position after completing the last twist. "There's some whiskey in the cupboard near the sink."

A somewhat morose expression greeted him before the younger man stood and headed to the kitchen.

"Jesus," Drake muttered to himself, wondering if Ted was having a similar time where he was. "Give me strength!"

He watched as JJ returned and handed Dee the glass; the taller man downing the potent liquid, barely acknowledging the taste.

"You don't have to go through with this you know," JJ said sulkily, his bright blue eyes searching Dee's blank expression for any sign that he might be pleased by this news. Seeing none, JJ pouted as he took in Dee's handsome form. He had good reason to gape. Dressed in a sharp dark grey suit with a black shirt and tie as opposed to his usual hurried and uncoordinated fashions, Dee was about the finest specimen of a man that JJ had ever seen. His ebony hair hung rakishly over intense green eyes and, standing close enough, JJ could just catch the scent of the other man's aftershave, an intoxicating aroma that was both masculine and sensual.

In fact, about the only thing wrong with Detective Dee Latener in JJ's ever adoring eyes was the fact that he was about to go and marry someone else.

As JJ's voice registered in his consciousness, Dee turned to look at him with a frown. "Huh? What?"

"Oh, never mind," JJ huffed as he returned to the armchair and went back to staring out of the window.

Shaking his head in disbelief at his colleague's last-ditch attempts to hang onto his crush, Drake glanced at his watch. "Okay, are we done here because we really should get going?"

"Where are the rings?" Dee said, suddenly looking worried.

"Relax," Drake replied, patting his jacket pocket. "I've got them. Now have you done your insulin? I doubt Ryo would be impressed if you keel over in the middle of your vows."

"Done," Dee replied. "Just need to remember my stuff for later."

"By the door," Drake said, nodding his head towards the small black bag next to his car keys. "Well, should we go?"

He was vaguely amused to see the look of nervousness on his colleague's face at the suggestion, especially considering he had been eagerly awaiting this day for over four months.

"No second thoughts?" Drake said with a smile, aware of JJ now watching with interest.

Dee seemed to shake himself from his stupor at the question, grinning at last. "Hell no! I'm marrying the most gorgeous man alive!"

"Want me to tell you you're crazy?" JJ said hopefully, shrugging into his suit jacket and buttoning it up.

Dee shot him a glare. "Would you still think I was crazy if I was about to marry you?"

JJ contemplated the question for a moment. "No, I guess not."

"Well then, shut up and find me a goddamned cigarette!" Dee snapped as he checked his reflection in the mirror for possibly the twentieth time in the last ten minutes.

Drake chuckled as he grabbed his car keys and let the two men out of his apartment, wondering if Ryo was similarly nervous at the thought of the day ahead.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Ryoooooooo, it's too tight!" Bicky complained, pulling at his tie as if it was a noose. "Do I have to wear it?"

"Yes," Ryo replied firmly as he helped Cal pin the small corsage to the front of her dress. "And for God's sake, take that hat off!"

Bicky grumbled as he tossed the baseball cap onto the table. He looked up from the smart shoes Ryo had bought him to see Cal smiling at him.

"What?" he said, unsure what her expression meant.

"I think you look sexy in that suit," she said, a light blush staining her cheeks with Ryo still in the room. "Like a man."

Bicky's face broke into a full blown grin as he turned to look at himself in the mirror. "I guess I _do_ look okay…" he said, amusing Ryo and Cal by the way he nodded his head appreciatively at his reflection.

Ryo chuckled as Cal turned and winked at him, successful as usual in making Bicky behave without him even realising. The blond watched them head out onto the balcony together, hoping beyond hope that they would never grow apart, since despite her own misdemeanours, all thankfully in the past, Cal seemed a good influence on the former street kid as they both started to mature into young adults.

Over the last few months, Bicky seemed to have calmed somewhat; he was fighting less and showing a slight improvement in his grades, much to Ryo's relief. Also over that time, the adoption proceedings had been finalised, making Ryo Bicky's adoptive parent as opposed to his legal guardian. When the final letter of confirmation had come through, Bicky had been quiet despite protesting that he was happy about it and for a while, Ryo had been truly concerned that he had upset the boy he already thought of as a son. Once again, it had been Cal's influence that was crucial and she succeeded in persuading Bicky to tell Ryo what the matter was.

It turned out that Bicky had been worried that Ryo would expect him to call him 'dad' now he was officially adopted, a name Bicky didn't feel comfortable using. 'Dad' he explained, merely brought back memories of Dick Goldman, his natural father who had abandoned him time and time again to fend for himself as he went obtaining and dealing drugs. In Bicky's eyes, giving Ryo that same title seemed almost disrespectful to the detective who had only ever shown him love and concern and so he had tentatively asked if he didn't mind if he still called him Ryo.

The blond had simply smiled, relieved that it wasn't something worse as he reassured Bicky that he was happy with his decision. He wasn't too disappointed and Bicky's next request ensured that he felt suitably important in the boy's life.

_I'd like to change my name. Would it be okay for me to be Bicky McLain?_

Ryo's eyes had welled up with tears as he hugged the boy fiercely, absolutely thrilled that Bicky had wanted something that meant so much to him. That had been almost three months ago when Bicky Goldman officially became Bicky McLain. Ryo loved the fact that he had a son, infinitely proud of everything the boy had overcome in his short life and everything he was now striving to be.

With an enormous sense of happiness, he watched Bicky and Cal looking out onto the city and felt certain that one day he would have a daughter in law too. However that was for the future; today was his day. After everything that they'd been through over the last few months, Ryo knew that he and Dee deserved the happiness of a new life together.

Dee had finally gone back to work, showing no sign of the previous stress he'd been under, and Ryo had gained the promotion to the coordinator of the precinct's armed response unit. He maintained his position in homicide as Dee's partner but was on call almost permanently should the need arise for his team of highly trained sharp shooters.

Things at work had also settled with the news that their commissioner had awoken from his coma after almost two months unconscious. He still hadn't returned to work as he recovered from his injuries but he had sent word, wishing his detectives well via Diana, who had taken a permanent transfer to New York to care for him. Their own relationship seemed to be progressing well and there were rumours around the station that an engagement might well be on the cards, with someone jokingly pointing out that the beating seemed to have knocked a little sense into the commissioner when it came to his love life.

Ryo's musings were interrupted as Ted emerged from the bathroom, his hands smoothing over his freshly washed hair.

"Hey," Ted said, grinning at the seated man. "I have to say you're looking pretty calm."

"I am?" Ryo replied as Ted sat down beside him and gratefully accepted the mug of tea. "I don't feel it."

"Hmmmm," Ted said, pondering as he sipped his tea. "I wonder what Dee's doing right about now."

Ryo glanced at his watch. "Hopefully he's on his way to the church since he has to get across town."

"Yeah," Ted replied before he chuckled. "I bet JJ's trying to talk him out of it."

"Oh undoubtedly. He's been trying for the last four months, why would he stop now?"

Ted laughed. "Poor JJ. He says it's against his principles to chase married men so what's he gonna do now?"

"Oh I don't know. There's always you."

Ted's eyes widened as he almost choked on his tea. "Do NOT even go there!"

"Well, I've seen the way he looks at you…" Ryo said teasingly.

"_What_? Very funny," Ted replied before checking Ryo's expression. "You were kidding right?"

"Yeah. Anyway, I think Drake's more his type."

Ted looked relieved before he frowned. "So what's wrong with me then?" he huffed.

Ryo laughed and rolled his eyes. "Make your mind up!"

They both sat in silence for a moment, drinking their tea before Ryo spoke again. "So how are things with… Rachel?"

"Yeah, Rachel," Ted confirmed as a smile broke onto his face at the thought of the new lady in his life. "Things are good. Really good."

"That's great," Ryo replied, genuinely pleased to see his colleague so happy. "So when do we get to meet her? You know she was invited, right?"

"Oh yeah, but she had to work today, but she's coming tonight though."

Ryo chuckled again. "Bet that was an interesting conversation. 'Hey I'm going to a gay wedding this Saturday, wanna come?'"

Ted laughed too. "Yeah, she did look a bit surprised when I told her but she's cool with it. I think you'll like her."

"I'm sure we will," Ryo replied with a nod before he glanced at his watch. "We really should get going."

Ted did the same, glancing at the time piece on the wall as he drained the last of his tea. "Sure, let's get this show on the road."

With Cal and Bicky, the two detectives left in Ted's car, heading for the church that almost six months ago, Ryo had read about on the internet. Since then, he and Dee had met the priest on several occasions, talking through everything from why they wanted to be married to the order of the service when the big day happened. They'd told Father Williams much of what they had been through, allowing him to become more familiar with them and understand how much the forthcoming union meant to them. His sanctuary, the First Presbyterian Church, was in a district not far from their apartment. It was a large, attractive building set back off the street, its white walls disappearing beneath climbing plants that had flowered into beautiful red blooms. The interior was polished mahogany and able to seat a congregation of at least two hundred.

At first, the detectives had been worried that the church would look empty; convinced that many would choose not to be part of what was still a highly controversial event, but the number of replies they'd received put paid to their fears; people cared about them and just wanted to see them happy.

As they arrived at the church, most people already seemed to be there, standing around on the front lawn and chatting amicably in the bright sunshine. As Ted's car pulled up at the kerb, attention turned to the arrivals and there was an impromptu cheer as Ryo stepped out onto the sidewalk and grinned at the large collection of friends and family. He gave a quick wave to his Aunt Elena, standing with her husband Rick and daughter Carrie. Carrie's new husband Brad was also in attendance, watching lovingly over his wife and the slight bump in the front of her dress.

Penguin was also there, standing with a couple of other women dressed in nun's habits that Ryo didn't recognise but presumed were from the orphanage. He was still scanning the crowd, his eyes shaded from the sun when Ted approached with his cell phone in his hand.

"That was Drake. They're just a couple of blocks away," he announced with a smile.

Ryo replied with a nod as Father Williams came over and shook his hand.

"How're you feeling?" the priest asked with a smile.

"A little nervous," Ryo replied honestly. "I never thought there would be so many people here."

"You shouldn't underestimate how much you and Dee mean to people," the older man responded, a genuine twinkle in his eye.

"Speaking of which," Ted said, nodding his head in the direction of the street as Drake's blue Celica rounded the corner. Ryo smiled as the vehicle approached, seeing Dee in the passenger seat with JJ in the back, looking wide eyed at the number of people present.

A second cheer went up as the men got out of the car before someone shouted, "Hey, someone call the Chief! Latener _can_ get to places on time, after all!"

They all laughed as Dee made a face before his eyes lit on Ryo and he smiled.

"Well, shall we go in?" Father Williams asked, seeing everyone assembled.

The two detectives looked at each other and nodded as people began to file into the church.

"You look great," Dee whispered in Ryo's ear as they headed up the steps, studying his lover in his grey suit, a shade paler than his own, and the ocean blue shirt and tie that he had chosen for the occasion.

"You too," Ryo replied, giving Dee's hand a quick squeeze as they followed Father Williams towards the altar.

When everyone had taken their seats, the priest turned to face the two men stood shoulder to shoulder and gave them a reassuring smile and nod of encouragement, before he looked past them to the congregation.

"Let me extend my warmest welcome into God's house. We are here today to witness the holy union of Randy Ryo McLain and Dee Latener; two very special people who have made the decision to make a commitment to each other for the rest of their lives and wish to have it blessed by God.

"God calls all human beings to intimacy, to fruitfulness, and to mutual love. We respond to God's calling in many kinds of life-giving relationships, and the Holy Spirit sustains and strengthens us in our responses. In Ryo and Dee, the community of faith discerns a relationship that is both Spirit-gifted, and life-giving.

"This is a timeless moment, a moment of hope and expectation, when standing before God and among you, their friends and family, Ryo and Dee pledge themselves to each other in the covenant of Holy Union."

Father Williams paused as he prepared to read the declaration of intention. He turned first to Ryo, who glanced nervously at Dee and smiled.

"Ryo, have you made a free decision, and do you have the firm intention to enter into this commitment with Dee, who stands here before you, having promised yourself to no other?"

"I have and I do," Ryo replied in a strong, clear voice, looking directly at his beloved partner as he spoke.

The same was asked of Dee and he too responded just as Ryo had done, holding his lover's gaze as he made his pledge. Sitting next to him, Drake heard an almost inaudible whimper from JJ as Dee spoke.

"Ryo and Dee, you are about to make a solemn promise. Do you believe that God has called you to live together in love?"

"We do."

"Do you both promise to be loyal to each other, supporting each other in your joys and your sorrows, your health and your sickness, your riches and your poverty, your success and your failure, never allowing any other relationship to come before the one you are now to affirm?"

"We do."

Finally the priest turned to address the congregation.

"Will all of you, by God's grace, do everything in your power to support and honour Ryo and Dee in their relationship?"

"We will," came the response from many voices.

After the hymn '_Lord of all Hopefulness_' the congregation sat down and Carrie stepped forward to give the reading. Her own happiness at her recent marriage and pregnancy were clear on her face as she read from the Bible, glancing across at the man she considered a brother, smiling as he stood side by side with his partner. She had chosen the reading herself; it was simple, but powerfully spoken and there was silence in the church as all took in the potency of the words.

"This is a reading taken from Paul's Letter to the Corinthians." She paused before she started again, her voice ringing proud and clear to the very back of the church. "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

"For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

She closed the book and stepped down from the lectern, smiling at the two men as she passed them on the way back to her seat. Their attention then turned back to Father Williams, knowing they were about to make the vows that would seal their relationship for life.

"The vows through which you accept each other as partners have no hidden power within themselves," the older man spoke gently, gazing at each of them in turn. "Only to the extent that they express in words your continuing intention and commitment, do they have meaning. Your commitment to each other will need to be re-expressed in many different ways in the coming days and years. The expression in today's vows is simply a visible milestone in your journey together. Do you understand?"

"We do," the two men spoke simultaneously.

"Then turn and face each other as you make your vows."

Ryo was first to speak, following the priest's words line by line as he gazed into the deep green eyes looking back at him lovingly. When he had finished, it was Dee's turn. Even those who had known Dee for years could never have anticipated the emotion and solemnity with which he spoke the words of love and devotion.

"Ryo, I promise to love and care for you, through times of joy and times of sorrow, to rejoice when you are happy, and grieve when you suffer, to share your interests, and hopes for the future, to try to understand you even when I do not agree, to do all in my power to help you be your true self, the person God calls you to be. In all this, I ask for God's help, now and in the days to come."

As he finished, Penguin brushed a tear aside, smiling as one of the other nuns clasped her hand supportively. Elsewhere around the room, others were smiling broadly or wiping away traces of emotion brought on by the tenderness of the occasion. Another prayer was said before Father Williams requested the rings. Drake came forward, grinning at his friends as he handed them to the priest before he returned to sit next to JJ, who was still looking somewhat glassy eyed as his long time crush slipped completely from his grasp.

With the matching white gold wedding bands resting on his open Bible, Father Williams lowered his hand over them. "The ring is a symbol of unity into which your two lives are now joined in an unbroken circle, in which, wherever you go, you will return to one another. May the Lord bless these rings as a sign of your commitment to each other."

He smiled and nodded at Ryo, who took one of the bands, fortunately both the same size and placed it on Dee's ring finger. The blond man smiled at his lover, ready to say the words that they had memorised for the occasion.

"Dee, I give you this ring as a symbol of my eternal love. May it remind you, no matter where you are, that my love for you is unconditional."

The priest smiled. "And now you, Dee."

Dee took the remaining ring and slipped it onto Ryo's finger, their eyes meeting again, communicating their joy.

"Ryo, I give you this ring as a symbol of my eternal love. May it remind you, no matter where you are, that my love for you is unconditional."

After the exchange of the rings and the blessing a final hymn was sung, the vibrant tones of '_O Lord and Father of Mankind_' ringing out through the white painted walls. At the end, Father Williams addressed the two men in front of him.

"Ryo and Dee, before God and these witnesses, you have promised to love each other, and have exchanged solemn vows and symbols of your love and commitment. I declare that you are Life Partners. You may express your love and union with a kiss."

There was a heartfelt round of applause as the two men kissed briefly; a modest meeting of the lips so as not to make any of their guests feel awkward. With the service now at an end, the congregation were anticipating the dismissal when the priest spoke again, addressing them this time.

"And now, Ryo and Dee have asked me to make one final announcement." He glanced away from the curious faces to the two men, smiling at each other happily. "Prior to today, Dee has been filling in some paperwork." The priest smiled, his blue eyes twinkling with merriment. "Of the non-police variety, I'm told. Anyway, the forms that Dee has completed have a legal significance which comes into effect today and so, it is my great pleasure to present to you… Ryo and Dee McLain."

The two men turned to see the look of surprise registering on their guests' faces, knowing they had successfully hidden the fact that Dee intended to change his name from even their closest friends and family.

They had discussed it long and hard prior to their wedding day, with Dee first raising the suggestion almost as soon as they had begun to plan the union itself. Ryo had been surprised but Dee remained insistent that he wanted it; after all he had argued, 'Latener' wasn't exactly his genuine family name. When, out of the blue, Bicky had made a similar suggestion, it seemed logical for Dee to do the same, in order to complete their family. Ryo had relented although he had convinced his lover to keep 'Latener' as a middle name, since he'd never had one of those either, as a tribute to the man who had found him and always kept a watchful eye over him growing up.

He'd gone with Dee as he'd signed the forms to legally change his name, using some connections they had at the county court to ensure that they only came into effect on the day of their wedding. The two men had left the court house smiling broadly, determined to keep their news a secret until the big day.

As they headed out of the church and into the glorious sunshine, they were both overwhelmed with congratulations and affectionate well-wishes from their friends and family.

"Dee McLain, huh?" Drake said with a grin as he caught up with his closest friend. "Kept that quiet."

"Yeah," Dee replied with a smile, turning the white gold wedding ring around on his finger. "So what d'you think?"

"It's great," Drake answered, slapping him heartily on the back. "It's gonna be confusing at work though."

"McLain and McLain?" Ted said with a chuckle, drawing close and catching the end of the conversation. "Sounds like a detective agency!"

Those around laughed as Dee nodded his head. "I guess it does," he admitted, smiling as he caught Ryo's eye. He excused himself to go and talk to Penguin, who was standing with the other nuns, talking fondly of the service they had just witnessed. He had to bend for her to embrace him, wincing slightly as she pinched his cheek; a habit she'd never gotten out of even though her favourite charge had long since reached adulthood.

"You look very smart, Dee," she announced as the other nuns nodded their agreement.

"Thanks, Pen… er, Mother." He managed to correct himself before she could remonstrate with him as she usually did. Instead the elderly nun chuckled at his near miss, too proud of the boy she had moulded into a man to be annoyed with him.

"I'm sure you'll be very happy," she said warmly, glancing over at Ryo who was chatting amicably with his cousin Carrie and her husband. "He's a good man."

"He is," Dee agreed, happy and proud that Ryo was now officially his. "I'm glad you could get away from the orphanage to come."

"Miss my favourite son's wedding? _Never_!"

He embraced her again before heading over to where Ryo now stood talking to some of his late mother's relatives.

"Sorry to interrupt," Dee said apologetically after he had been formally introduced, "but we should be getting over to the hotel. The meal's at one, right?"

"Yeah," Ryo replied as he checked his watch.

They each set off in different directions, instructing their guests to start making their way over to the hotel where the afternoon and evening receptions were being held. Once they were certain everyone knew where they were going, they were about to climb into Drake's car, which the other detective had loaned them while he got a ride with Ted, when a silver limousine rounded the corner.

"Check that out," Dee said with a low whistle of appreciation.

"It's probably the next wedding," Ryo surmised as the sleek vehicle pulled up at the kerb. Once the car had come to a stop, the driver got out and went to open the passenger door but no one exited. Instead he turned to the two men, standing with several of the guests that hadn't yet departed.

"Mr McLain? Mr Latener?"

The two men exchanged glances before they answered. "Pretty much," Dee replied, pushing his ebony hair away from his eyes.

"Then would you care to get in?" the driver said, gesturing to the open door, allowing a glimpse of the invitingly comfortable interior. "I'm instructed to take you to the Cornelia. Is that correct?"

More puzzled glances. "That's where our reception is being held at, yes," Ryo replied, searching for an expression on the remaining guests' faces that said they knew what was going on.

"I believe this might explain," the driver said, handing Ryo an envelope from his pocket. The blond detective took it from him and opened it, pulling out a note which he looked over and smiled. When he'd finished, he handed it to Dee, who quickly scanned the words.

_Dee and Ryo,_

_Enjoy your day. I hope the limousine makes it even more memorable for you both._

_Best wishes,_

_Berkley__ and Diana._

The note was handwritten in an unfamiliar style that they both presumed was Diana's handwriting. They knew from visiting the commissioner in hospital that he had sustained some brain damage after the attack and was having to relearn even simple tasks such as reading and writing. The fact that he had thought to arrange something like this whilst contending with his own arduous recovery further showed how he seemed to have become less self-absorbed in the wake of the attack.

"Who'd have thought?" Drake said, smiling as he craned over Dee's arm to read the note.

"Yeah," Dee replied, his attention drawn back to the beautiful vehicle. "Well, guess we don't need these then." He grinned, tossing Drake's car keys towards him. "Later, guys!"

The two men climbed into the car, accompanied by cheers and applause. Their driver ensured that they both had champagne before they set off, taking a more scenic route to the hotel where their guests would be waiting.

"Wait 'til Bicky sees this," Ryo chuckled as he eyed the immaculate interior of the car as it cruised smoothly through the streets.

"Heh, yeah," Dee said in response as he twisted the champagne flute between his fingers. "I could get used to this!"

"Well don't," Ryo said with a smile. "You're a cop; cops don't do limousines."

Dee frowned comically, his dark eyebrows knitting together. "Spoilsport."

The Cornelia wasn't the largest or grandest establishment in the area but the atmosphere of the place and the attitudes of the staff had felt right, particularly when they'd explained why they'd wanted to book the function room. A couple of the other places they'd tried had looked dubious; some had flat out refused, leaving the two men saddened and disappointed that they were still faced with such prejudice in this day and age.

The Cornelia however had welcomed them and they were more than happy with their choice of location as they pulled up to be greeted by the staff handing out champagne to their guests. In the lobby, the sign at the main doors proclaimed '_Latener__/McLain Union_'; confirming that they were by no means embarrassed to be hosting such an occasion.

The day was still pleasantly warm and the guests had been directed through to the hotel gardens to await the start of the luncheon. A photographer moved around as the grooms mingled with their guests, eventually taking a shot of the entire party with their glasses raised, set against the backdrop of the attractive red brick building.

As one o'clock approached, the head waiter came out and asked everyone to move through to the function room. The large group took their seats around the circular tables, overseen by an anxious Ryo who had drawn up the seating plans.

"Relax, baby."

Ryo turned to see his husband smiling at him, knowing full well he would still be stressing over the arrangements, wanting to make sure that everything ran smoothly.

"Sorry," Ryo replied, sinking into his chair and running his hands through his wavy blond locks. "I just want everyone to have a good time."

He'd barely finished the sentence when the table comprising of their work colleagues burst into a fit of raucous laughter.

"See?" Dee said triumphantly, "They _are_ having a good time. Now quit worrying and start enjoying yourself."

"Okay," Ryo agreed, his features relaxing momentarily before the look of anxiety returned. "Dee, your insulin!"

"Done," the ebony haired man replied, shaking his head in disbelief. "Stop panicking for God's sake!"

"Marital discord already, boys?" Drake said, winking at them as he passed their table on the way back from the restroom. The two detectives looked at each other and laughed as a waitress stopped to set down their starters in front of them.

The meal was wonderful, comprising of three courses carefully chosen by Ryo. He had ensured that all three dishes were suitable for Dee and his dietary requirements, feeling strongly that his lover should not be singled out on his wedding day by having to eat differently than his guests.

Talk and laughter filled the air as the wedding party ate their meals, the waiters and waitresses constantly moving around the room to ensure that wine glasses remained filled. As the plates were cleared away, fresh bottles of champagne were brought out in preparation for the speeches. Both Ryo and Dee had chosen to say a few words as well as asking Drake to speak, carrying out something close to a best man's duties.

There was a small stage at one end of the function room and all eyes and chairs were turned that way as Ryo headed up there to stand in front of the microphone, several cue cards clutched between his fingers. He looked nervous, but as he turned to face his audience he managed a small smile. Tapping the microphone to check it was on, he started on the speech that he had spent the last few nights writing and rewriting.

"Uh… hi," he said, not knowing how else to start. He had a brief flash of the last time he had had to stand up in front of a large group of people, the morning after Dee had been abducted and he had addressed his colleagues, asking them for their support. As quickly as it had emerged, he pushed the memory aside, concentrating on this much happier occasion.

"I hope everyone is enjoying themselves and on behalf of my new husband and me…" He paused to allow the cheer at the word 'husband' to die down. He smiled, still finding it hard to believe that he _had_ a husband as well as being one himself.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming and sharing this day with us. Today is a very special day for Dee and myself; a day that several months ago we doubted we'd ever see." He swallowed hard as he stopped again. "I know you're all well aware of the events of earlier this year and I have no intention of dwelling on them because today is about celebration and looking forward. We have come out the other side with our partnership not only intact but even stronger than before, and I know we have the courage to face anything so long as we're together."

He looked across at his lover and smiled. "Dee is an extraordinary man, whose courage and lust for life never cease to amaze me. He has shown me that I don't have to be ashamed of who I am and who I love and so I am both humbled and proud to offer, and have been offered, this lifetime commitment with such a wonderful man."

Emotion forced him to stop as he was drawn back to the handsome man watching him devotedly. "I pray we have a long and happy life together surrounded by our friends and family, whom I wish the same for. You're all very special to us and I'm proud to say I've known you all. Thank you."

He stepped away from the microphone, smiling in relief that he'd finished as Dee stood from his chair and headed for the stage to take his place. As they passed, Dee pulled him in for a quick kiss, whispering something that made Ryo smile as he went back to sit down. Out of his jacket pocket, Dee pulled a folded up sheet of paper, which he quickly scanned before he moved closer to the mic.

"Like Ryo said, thank you all for being here. It's good to see everyone dressed up, in particular you fellas from the precinct." He grinned at the assembled men in question. "I'd call you gentlemen, but I know better."

The room laughed as the table of police officers made cat calls and heckles. When the laughter and shouting had died down, Dee continued although his expression was more solemn.

"It's hard to know what to say, that Ryo hasn't said already, but I do want to repeat his message of thanks to everyone that has stood by us over the last few months." He looked down suddenly and swallowed hard. "It was an unexpected and long, hard road, not just for me, but for Ryo and you, our friends and family. There were moments when I honestly thought we'd never be happy again but I'm pleased to say that being here now has totally proved me wrong. If there's anything to be learned from what's happened, it's that every moment is sacred and nothing should be taken for granted. I intend to make the most of every moment I have and leave nothing until the last minute."

He stopped as a wry smile crossed his handsome features. "But if there's a police stenographer anywhere in the room, I'd just like to clarify that my last statement doesn't apply to completing paperwork."

He said his thanks to a rousing round to applause before making his way off the stage, eager to get back to his lover's side. Rejoining Ryo, they smiled at each other lovingly as Drake made his way up to the dais. As he stood in front of the microphone, he gave the two men a broad grin before he looked down to study his notes. Dee cast a glance at Ryo, wondering why Drake looked so smug.

"D'you have any idea what he's about to say?" Dee whispered.

"No," Ryo said, suddenly looking worried. "I thought you did."

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Drake began, his voice clear and confident, "in the interests of being politically correct, I've removed any controversial material from this speech…" He stopped, cleared his throat and scratched his head during the silence. "Thank you and good afternoon." He made to leave the stage as the room erupted into laughter before he returned to his position behind the mic.

"For those of you that don't know me, my name is Detective Drake Parker and I am a colleague of the two fine men whom you have come here today to celebrate with. I'm sure most of you know one or both of them fairly well but if not, I have compiled a short list, with the assistance of their friends and family, that I think will help you get to know them a little better."

He paused and smiled. "First, let's start with Dee. I've known Dee for almost ten years and could talk about him with very little help but instead, I decided to ask as many people as I could to describe Dee in a nutshell in just one sentence. Here's what I got."

Drake could feel a set of green eyes trained upon him and he inwardly chuckled as he started on the list, saying each word slowly and carefully.

"Impossible. Stubborn. Impulsive. Likes a laugh. Always late. Prone to whining. Generous. Loud. Honest. Owns a lot of CDs." He paused momentarily as people laughed. "Tenacious. Infuriating. Perseverant. Highly strung. Talks a lot. Hugely likeable. Strong minded. Has a cute ass."

Again more laughter; with most on the precinct's table turning to look at JJ, who simply grinned from behind his glass of champagne.

"But seriously," Drake continued. "Dee is truly a great guy and possibly the only man I know who can cause our chief to beat his own personal record of seventy-nine expletives in a minute. When he first set his sights on Ryo, there was just _something _that said this was more than a spur of the moment crush. I think it's fair to say that we were right and I'm sure you'll agree that that can only be a good thing. And now on to Ryo."

He grinned at the blond. "Better known to some as Detective Randy McLain, here's what people said about him. Thoughtful. Conscientious. Quiet. Thorough. Very tidy. Partnered with that idiot, Latener."

Ryo laughed with the audience as Dee pulled a face in mock indignation.

Drake continued. "Likeable. Honest. Easy going. Kind. Strong minded. Generous. I think from those two lists that it's easy to see that Dee and Ryo have a lot of differences but also a lot of things in common which, so I'm told, is a tried and tested formula for a healthy marriage, so it's with great pleasure that I ask you all to stand as I propose a toast."

There was the rumbling of just over one hundred sets of feet hitting the wooden floor as everyone left their seats, their freshly poured champagne in hand.

"To Ryo and Dee McLain; may you have a long and healthy life together!"

"Ryo and Dee!" the wedding party chorused before they sipped from the crystal champagne flutes.

With Drake's speech at an end, there followed a rapturous applause as he left the stage, still grinning broadly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Later on, with the evening reception underway, Dee was sitting with his fellow officers as they all got steadily more drunk. Dee himself had a clear head; his alcohol intake was limited for health reasons although he wasn't disappointed. When he finally took his new husband to bed, he wanted to be in complete control of his faculties.

"So was that a good speech?" Drake asked his friend and colleague, one arm slung around Dee's shoulder. His words were starting to slur and his eyes were somewhat glazed. On the other side of him, Ted was engaged in whispered conversation with Rachel, his new girlfriend who was as lovely as he'd promised Ryo earlier that day.

"The best," Dee replied, with a firm nod. "Who said I was impossible?"

"The chief," Drake chuckled.

"Good job you didn't ask Rose," Dee laughed as he lit a cigarette and blew a long stream of smoke up towards the ceiling. "I'm sure 'bastard' would have been top of his list."

"Actually I did. He said you were 'strong minded'."

Dee weighed this up for a moment, trying to determine whether this was a compliment or a well-veiled dig. "I suppose it's better than 'bastard'," he mused.

Ryo left the men's room and headed to where he could see Bicky and Cal sitting outside.

"Hey guys," he said, sticking his head around the doorframe. "Having a good time?"

"Yeah," Cal replied for both of them, shuffling towards Bicky and patting the newly vacated space on the bench. Ryo sat down next to them, gazing outwards to the twinkling lights of the city.

"So how does it feel to be a married man?" Cal asked, linking her arm with Ryo's affectionately.

Ryo smiled as he contemplated the question. "It feels good. Really good."

"I know you'll be really happy," Cal gushed, loving the romance of a wedding.

Ryo gazed down at the white gold wedding ring on his finger and smiled again.

"I'm certain we will. I feel so lucky to have Dee and Bicky and you, Cal. It feels like we're a family." He paused, deliberating his next question. "Speaking of which, Bicky, how would you feel about Dee applying for legal guardianship of you?"

Bicky's eyes widened. "Like adoption?"

"Not quite. He would be your guardian if anything happened to me. I'm still your adoptive parent though."

"Nothing will happen to you," Bicky said fiercely.

"I know," Ryo replied gently. "But I'd rather know you had someone there for you _if_ it did. Have a think about it, won't you?"

Bicky met Ryo's gaze before he nodded. The blond detective then stood and made his way back inside.

"What d'you think?" the boy asked his girlfriend when they were alone again.

"I think you should do it."

"But it's Dee!" Bicky protested. "Sure, he's okay and everything, but if he's my guardian then he'll think he can go round telling me what to do."

"He does that already and you don't take any notice," Cal replied, rolling her eyes. "But wouldn't you prefer to stay with Dee if something happened…?"

"It won't!"

"Fine," she snapped, folding her arms across her chest. "But I know what I'd do. Faced with living with Dee or being sent to a children's home; it's not a hard choice."

"But why's Ryo talking like that?"

Cal smiled gently. "I guess after everything that happened to Dee, Ryo just wants to make sure you'd be looked after. You know Ryo, he likes to be organised. He's only looking out for you."

Her comments seemed to hit home and for a moment, Bicky was forced to consider the reality of what would happen to him if Ryo died. He knew from hard experience that life was far from fair.

After several moments of sulky silence, he muttered, "I guess it would be okay if Dee looked after me."

Cal smiled and took his hand, using the hold on him to pull him in for a quick kiss.

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Just after midnight, the music and dancing stopped and people started to make their way home. When the last of their guests had gone, the two weary but happy men made their way up to their room. They had booked the honeymoon suit, intending to make the most of the luxurious facilities since Bicky had gone home with Cal and her aunt.

As Ryo put the key in lock, he shuddered as Dee began to kiss his neck, his lips grazing the sensitive flesh with well-practised skill.

"Behave yourself, Mr McLain," Ryo admonished, smiling as he used Dee's new name. His lover picked up on it too and stopped what he was doing momentarily.

"That sounded sexy," he purred, green eyes narrowing seductively. "Say it again."

"I said," Ryo replied, turning so his back was to the door. "Behave yourself, _Mr McLain._"

He punctuated the last two words with a pointed finger, which he trailed down the front of his husband's suit, deftly undoing the buttons on his jacket before his hand came to rest on the growing hardness in Dee's pants.

The dark haired man groaned before he leaned forward, wanting to taste the blond's lips. Ryo however was quicker. As Dee moved in, he leaned back, pushing on the door that he had quietly unlocked. Dee's closed eyes flew open as he was greeted by thin air to see Ryo smiling at him sexily from within the room. The dark haired detective grinned, making after his lover, but not before he had made sure the 'do not disturb' sign was clearly displayed on their door.

The moonlight beamed in through the unshaded windows, bathing the room in an ethereal white glow. The bed was enormous, dressed in inviting white linen and scattered with red rose petals, although Dee's eyes barely noticed as his lover and husband stood before him, returning his loving gaze. His heart pounded, filling the silence as they continued to stand inches apart, taking in each other's beauty. Gently, and still in silence, they began to undress each other. After several long moments of passionate kissing and touching, Dee broke the embrace and moved over to one of the bedside drawers. "I hope you don't think this is a little presumptuous," he said, smiling as he fetched the lube from where he had placed it.

Ryo laughed in response.

"What?" Dee asked; his dark eyebrows knitted together, not sure what was so amusing.

He watched as Ryo stood and walked around to the bedside cabinet on the opposite side of the large bed. When he opened the drawer and pulled out an identical tube of the preparation that he had placed there earlier that day, his expression was a sheepish grin.

"Ditto," the blond replied, his dark eyes twinkling with amusement.

Dee laughed. "I think I like you being presumptuous, baby."

The moment of humour quickly passed as they fell into bed together, in amongst the sumptuous sheets and rose petals, moving tenderly in the moonlight. Ryo found himself unable to take his eyes off the other man. Dee was everything to him; his heart and his home.

"Stay with me, Ryo," Dee whispered, as if he had read his lover's thoughts and agreed with the sentiments. "You're the only one I'll ever need."

Their long but wonderful day ended in the hugely comfortable bed as they lay together in each other's arms.

"I love you, Ryo," Dee whispered just before he fell asleep. "_Forever_."

Ryo smiled down at the ebony-haired man drifting off into contented slumber.

"I love you too," he replied tenderly, thinking 'forever' was a timescale that he could definitely manage.

End.


End file.
